


Wrath and Love

by Kailean



Category: Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Rosemary's Baby, Squee (Comics)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Apocalypse, BDSM, Bisexuality, Blood Play, Demon Sex, Demons, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Friendship, Gnostic Themes, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Religious Themes, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Spiritual, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:42:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 112,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kailean/pseuds/Kailean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Pepito ever wanted was the world, and Todd. But Todd could never bring himself to join the cause, and they drifted. Fast forward to the present, and Pepito now rules Earth. Word comes from the labor camps: they found Todd, and in him a serious threat.</p><p>Rating somewhere between M and E for both violence and sexual stuffs, at times both mixed together. There is sex in this story, and some of it is disturbing. For the most part, it is there to further the story and character/relationship development and not just as smutty fan-service. I make no promises that this story will have a happy ending, or even end with Pepito and Todd together romantically if it does. It might, but it might not.</p><p>JTHM/Squee-verse. Minor Crossover with Invader Zim and Rosemary's Baby (though you don't need to be familiar with either).</p><p>Disclaimer: JTHM/Squee, Invader Zim characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Rosemary's Baby characters belong to Ira Levin. I make no money from this writing.</p><p>***Originally Published on FF.net in 2008***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Warnings: Ableism, references to eugenics and ideological cleansing

The President of the United Nations released a deep sigh along with a torrent of smoke from a freshly lit Cuban cigar. At this point, importation of such items, any items really, was no longer an issue. For four years now, he had been working toward ushering in a state of unprecedented peace and trade, the likes of which the civilized world had yet to see, but it wasn't until the previous year that he had really accomplished this on a grand scale.

A tan hand rose to touch the scar on his forehead where the bullet had entered. It had been an assassination attempt, and a good one at that. The public hailed it a miracle that he had survived virtually unscathed. And it was ... a dark miracle.

After that, he had realized his mistake, changing his strategy drastically. Diplomacy clearly wasn't doing the trick with these people. What he needed was more power, and with the right words, the right bribes, and the right instructions to his followers, he had acquired it in short order. Then he had tightened his grip on all those blind, cretinous sheep, forcing them to tremble before the might of the worthy, as is nature's dictate when it is not encumbered by the irrational, self-righteous altruism of most the world's religions.

Those who were worthy now wore his mark upon their right hands, which allowed them to travel and trade freely. Those who did not had been forced into servitude, where they belonged, or scattered to the corners of the Earth to dwell in hidden places until the forces of his new world order finally caught up with them.

He lowered the cigar to a silver ashtray that sat upon his imposing desk, tapping it against the metal to loose the accumulated ash as he pursed his lips in thought. There were still far too many people on the planet, an unsustainable many people that dogmatic idiocy had provoked and then protected from the inevitable consequences of environmental, economic, and social collapse for two millenniums. Even with his Elite Guard roaming the streets, dishing out some good, old Roman-fashioned Lex Talionis, it wasn't enough. It was time to start the process of really instituting his Eugenics plan beyond the mentally and genetically defective to include most of those in the work camps.   

Letting the cigar rest in the tray, he lifted a thick manila envelope from his desk to uncover the finished proposal, but his eyes stuck on the address on the envelope and he tore it open, dumping the contents onto the desk. One raven eyebrow arched as he read the short note from his mother explaining that she was cleaning out his old room and thought that he might like to keep a few of the smaller things.

Only four sentences this time, and the first correspondence in almost a month. Fighting a sudden urge to crumple the paper or set it on fire, he placed it in the top drawer with forced composure. Of course she wouldn't want his things laying around anymore.

Another deep breath and he picked up the stack of memories, flipping through old family photos, some of which he knew to be the only copy, drawings he had given his mother for the refrigerator, bus tickets from his yearly visits to Mexico City. He suddenly slammed the whole stack back onto the polished wood, nearly knocking his cigar onto the floor. Did she think that she could just package his past up and make it as if it had never happened? As if he had never happened! His fiery eyes narrowed at the phone to his left as he contemplated calling her. But no. He wouldn't dignify this with a response. It would only make him look weak in the end.

He made to move the stack into a drawer for later storage, but on the way another photo fell from the pile: this one of two teenage boys, one a Latino youth in punkish attire and the other a mildly lighter boy with unruly dark brown hair and big, innocent, but all too aware hazelnut eyes. An elegant finger traced the figures lightly as he thought back.  
  
It was the fall of their Senior year of High School. He had sneaked up using his powers to avoid making little crunching noises in the dried out grass on Mystic Hill, where his best friend, Todd Casil, sat on a blue blanket, bent over a notebook as usual. "Hola, Amigo!"

"Ah!" Todd started at the unexpected greeting, clutching the notebook to his chest as if attempting to protect a sacred treasure, before registering the familiar voice and relaxing a bit. "Oh, hey, Pepito."

He plopped down on the blanket beside Todd, resting an arm easily around his shoulders for reassurance. Even though it was great fun to scare his still somewhat timid companion, he did have to keep his anxiety disorder in mind. "I tried calling you," he complained.

Todd meet his eyes apologetically. "Ummm. Yeah. Sorry. I just really needed some time alone."

Pepito raised a brow suggestively. "Alone? What for?"

"Not that." Rolling his eyes, but also cracking a small smile, Todd brushed his arm away in mock disturbance. "I just needed to think."

"Yeah? About a new story?" He leaned over to spy upon the notebook in Todd's lap, even though he knew that he hated letting anyone read his uncompleted work. "Is it the one you were telling me about the other day, about the mutant cholera that lies dormant in algae to cross the ocean?"

"Nooo. That was real. I saw it on the Discovery Channel. This ... actually isn't a story." His voice became more serious, contrite even. "It's a college application to California State."

"California State?" Pepito's posture became rigid as the hurt accidentally slipped past his lips. "But, Amigo, Yale is on the other side of the country. Why do you want to stay here?"

"Well, going out of state is a little out of my budget. Plus, State has a pretty good English Department."

 Pepito shook his head. "Squee, you know I have connections. I could easily arrange for you to get a scholarship."

 "I know, Pepe, but I really feel like this is something I need to do on my own. And I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of our friendship ... or like I owe you anything." He tagged the last bit on with some apparent trepidation, making it more than easy for Pepito to read between the lines.

"So, you've made your decision already then?"

"Yes. Pepito, I ... I'm really sorry, but I just can't. I can't give my soul to anyone." He seemed to become even more nervous when there was only silence, reluctantly reaching out to lay his hand on Pepito's. "Say something, please."

Pepito looked away, closing his eyes tightly for a few seconds to make sure that no tears escaped before looking back. Todd was his only really genuine friend. He was the only person who really knew the whole Pepito, besides his parents who were obligated to love him. Everyone else just knew one half, and he was fairly certain that they wanted it that way. "If that's your choice then ... I will respect it."

"Really? Just like that?" Even though Pepito had told him as much several times, he still seemed surprised.

"Yes. Just like that. But ..." He trailed off, looking down at the blanket in shame. He really shouldn't have been letting anyone else reduce him to such a pathetic state, but he could never help feeling so attached to Todd.

"Pepe?" The hand on Pepito's moved to actually clasp it.

It was an odd feeling for him, as he was usually the one doing the prying and the comforting in their relationship. "Does this mean you that you no longer wish to be my friend?"

Now Todd looked a little hurt himself. "No. Of course not. I'll always be your friend." His voice sounded slightly guilty for making Pepito think such a thing.

Pepito let out a deep breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding. "May I have your word on that?"

Tilting his head to the side, Todd pretended to consider what he obviously thought a practical non issue. "Only if you promise too."

Smiling, Pepito tightened his grip on Todd's hand before offering his free one with the pinkie extended. It was something he hadn't done since he was four or five with his mother ... something about cookies before dinner. "I hereby solemnly vow to always be your friend."

Letting out a relieved laugh at the childish ritual the other presented, Todd wrapped their fingers together with hardly any hesitation. "I promise too. Best friends." He was a little taken aback when Pepito leaned forward to quickly place a light kiss on his slightly parted lips, and then he turned that perfect shade of pink that always accompanied the rare moments when their friendship seemed to run a little too deep. But he had never complained.

"Thank you, Amigo."

His grip on the photo tightened slightly and he sighed. The last time he had seen Todd had been the summer after they had both graduated from college. Separate colleges, in fact, though that had been Todd's decision. It had been a short meeting, full of awkward pauses, unshared sentiments, and half sincere plans to stay in contact. After that there had been occasional letters, fewer phone calls, and a couple of post cards. Then, after last year, nothing at all.

He was drawn from his reminiscing by the phone on his desk ringing, and he tossed the last picture into the drawer with the others, pushing the lingering feelings down into the dungeon of his mental fort, where he could maybe starve them of attention until they died. Taking the phone to his ear, he listened as his secretary announced the caller, giving her permission to put them through before speaking in a cool, even voice. "Hello, Karl. Lilly said you have something important to report?"

"Yes, Pepito-er ... President Diablo." The elder quickly corrected himself when his leader growled low in his throat at the informality. "I think we've found him."

That was all it took. "Where are you?"

"Work Camp Thirty-one."

"I'll be right there. Wait for me."

"Yes, my lord."

He returned the phone to the hook without so much as a good buy, taking one last draw from his cigar before putting it out and heading up to the launch pad on the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Most of the things mentioned in this chapter are inspired by the silly, literalist interpretations of the Bible (Revelations) and the Church of Satan's five-point-plan as explained by Magus Peter H. Gilmore in Satanism: The Feared Religion (found on the Church of Satan website under theory and practice).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Implied violence

From the headquarters of the United Nations in New York, President Pepito Diablo had taken his personal jet to Arizona, where Work Camp Thirty-one happened to be located amidst desolate dessert hills and open sky. His limo came to a stop at the gated entrance for check-in, and he smiled at the sight.

Behind chained and barbed fences, five tall vertical farms rose up above the large prison-like building in the middle that housed a few thousand enemies of the state, along with a medium-sized manufacturing plant. If he remembered correctly, this camp had been one of the first to use vertical farming to produce healthy, organic foods at all new levels of efficiency. Thanks to his agricultural plan, those same farms were now fairly common all over the continent and a few others as well. The prisoners produced more than enough food for themselves, with surpluses left over for legal citizens in surrounding areas as well. Still, even with these efforts, the planet still needed to lose roughly fifty percent of the current population sometime within the next generation or so.

The guards waved him through and the driver let him out at the front office, where he was met by a one of his top adviser's, a chubby, balding, middle-aged man who had carried the name "Karl" for several lifetimes now. Two other men accompanied him as well, but Pepito couldn't place them. There were far too many camps by now for him to personally keep up with them all. They all bowed to him respectfully, and although he expected as much, he ignored the sign of reverence in favor of getting straight to the reason that he had just blown off all prior commitments to fly halfway across the New American Union. "Karl, I hope you have good news for me."

"Of course, President Diablo." The man smiled nervously before looking to one of his companions. "This is Commandant Benedict."

"President Diablo, sir. It is such an honor to make your acquaintance again. You probably don't remember, but I was chosen for this position personally by yourself and-"

Pepito had to force back an eye roll, instead giving him man a brief nod. "Commandant." He had 'personally hired' so many people for various jobs that if he added up all their interviews, he would have had time for little else during the last year. In all probability, his fifth secretary had chosen this guy from a stack of resumes without ever even laying eyes on him. He sent Karl an impatient look. The bastard had better not be stalling for time to make up an excuse for another fucking mistake.

"Uh," Karl stammered as he dug deep into his leather satchel, "here it is." He finally pulled out a clip board bearing several stapled sheets of recycled waste paper: the file of the potential incarnation. "I was called here after an escape attempt. As you know, Sir, this facility produces androids. Well, some of them, the androids, were programed to be ... umm ... independent,"

"Quite against camp regulations, I assure you!" the Commandant cut in at Pepito's glare.

"As I was saying," Karl continued, "those androids helped in the escape attempt, which was partly successful." His speech pattern sped up as his boss's temperature rose even more. "Don't worry, though, we still have the suspect in custody! But the point is that his report shows a definite pattern of mostly passive defiance since his arrival a little over a year ago. There are reports of his", he looked to the papers, "interfering in the discipline of other inmates, spreading discord and rebellious thinking, and during the escape, he is said to have healed another man of a gunshot wound. It cost him is own escape."

His growing impatience with the unveiling incompetence in his underlings grew into a hopeful smirk at the last words. "Impressive. If it's true. Did we capture the other man?"

"Negative, sir," the Commandant answered in a gruff voice that suggested he had served in the army before his current station, "But, Guard Rayer here claims that he personally shot the man in the knee cap. His marksmanship record is impeccable."

Rayer, a young, lanky blond, bowed once again. "That's right, Commandant! And I swear I heard the prisoner's bone shatter!"

"Did you see it healed as well?" Pepito raised a brow.

"Not exactly. But it would have been damn hard for the pointy-haired freak to run outta here and make it over the fence with a broken kneecap!"

A tan hand rose to massage the same brow. More incompetence! "So basically, I'm here because of a possible healing? You do know that such miracles are not relegated to the Christ, correct?"

This time Karl did roll his eyes. "Do you think that I don't know that, Pep-President Diablo? I wouldn't have called you had I not thought that the situation merited doing so. As soon as I arrived, I had the suspect's aura scanned."

"And?"

"And he has one of the most intense, golden halos I've ever come across. As well as a good deal of indigo." Karl pulled a copy of said scan from the clipboard, passing it to his pupil-turned master.

Pepito's eyes widened when they fell to the picture in hand. "This is bigger than all of the others." 'The others' were a collection of possible vessels that were kept in his own private holding cells at most of his homes. His father had told him that it was going to be near impossible to know for certain which one would be chosen until the transition actually took place, but there were signs that only a very, very small percentage of the population held, and they were currently being lain out before him in this ... "What's his name?"

"Prisoner number 1-8-3-5-5, Sir. He was found with no identification. Reported name is Mr. Jay Scolex." Benedict struggled slightly over the last name.

His lips pursed slightly and Pepito tapped a nail against the photo. That name sounded vaguely familiar, but from where? "Is he ready for inspection?"

"Yes, sir. I made the call to have him ready and in center court as soon as your plane landed."

 "Good. Let's go and see him then, shall we?"

The court yard, a few plush, green acres of land that had to be watered several times a day, lay in the very center of the Work Camp, surrounded on all sides by the prison itself. A trip to the court yard was the only outside exposure that those working in most of the camps were granted, and it was a privilege that had to be earned. Its existence was a testament to the generosity of the New World Government. Or at least that's what it was supposed to be to the prisoners. In actuality, Pepito knew that it had been implemented because if he wanted as many souls as possible to belong to him and his father, it was best to maintain a balance between punishments and rewards. It had only been a year. Many of these people could still be attained, but not if all of their negative assumptions about his Regime were confirmed by mistreatment.

He walked over a dirt track that encircled the area and his attention was directed past the basket-ball court, past the shade trees, to center of the ranks of proud guards that stood in lines on both sides of a nondescript man with medium-long, dark brown hair. As he and his small entourage drew closer, it became clear that the man wasn't in the best of shape. He was overly thin and unwashed, but that was the least of his problems. There were bruises and cuts covering his exposed arms and chest and he was being held up by two guards, heavy shackles connecting his ankles and wrists respectively.

They finally stopped in front of the prisoner, and Pepito's eyes ran him up and down before he let out a deep sigh. "I am assuming that these damages were accrued during the escape attempt." His orders were simply to detain potential vessels, but by the time he arrived on the scene, his people had usually had a go at them already. Not that the thought of the Christian 'God's' own creations inflicting suffering and humiliation upon his own favorite son brought any tears to his eyes. But he needed these people alive!

"Yes, sir." Commandant Benedict smiled a shit-eating grin that said otherwise, which grew as a few of the guards complemented with knowing laughter.

Pepito's eyes narrowed, but he didn't press the matter. Instead he stepped closer to the filthy captive. "You. Scolex, look at me."

The man's head remained bowed and he refused to speak a word.

His voice became sharper and his eyes narrowed even more. "I said look at me! Do you hear me, slave? This is no time to be stubborn! None of your comrades in arms are here to witness and be inspired, and unlike the guards here, I do have the authority to do whatever it takes to get your attention."

When the man still didn't move, Pepito reached out to turn his chin up so that they were face to face, pushing the dirty hair out of his countenance. "I hope, for your forsaken fate, that you're deaf, because I'm willing to bet that I am more creative that this lot." The man's lips were split and coated in dried blood and there was an ugly bruise on his jaw. His blacked eyes were still downcast, but there was something about them. Something familiar. That light ....

How he loved that light. It was almost as if the boy's eyes were a mix of milk chocolate and honey, all lit up by an invisible sun that seemed to come from within, especially when he was writing.

Todd looked up from his notebook, pencil paused in mid-word. "Pepito, why are you staring at me like that?"

Across the study-hall table, Pepito was shocked out of his contemplation of the other's eyes, only then realizing that, yes, it was kind of an odd thing to do. "No reason, Amigo."

"Well, quit it." Todd half-smiled. "It's kind of unnerving."

He returned the smile, propping an elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. "Is that good or bad?"

A loud smack resounded throughout the room when a yardstick struck the table beside them and a slithery, all too snake-like teacher barked for them to keep it down or be doomed to detention. They both had to stifle laughter as she walked away.

"Pepe, don't you have work to do?"

"Well, technically." He gave his math book a sad look. He always had math homework. "But it's so boring. And you're not doing it." He had arranged for the two of them to have all but one class together that year.

"I finished it last period ... during the lecture on the 'discovery' of the New World. While you were flirting with that girl with the frizzy hair."

"Ah. Can I, uh, look over it?"

Todd sighed as he dug his textbook from a worn backpack, sliding it across the table. "You're so lazy. Fine, you can copy it, but you better really check for mistakes too."

Pepito rolled his eyes. "Don't I always?"

"No. No, you don't. And it's a little suspicious when we both have the same wrong answers."

"Heh. Well, this time I will and I'll correct yours as well, but you have to keep me entertained." He pulled a calculator from his own bag. "Tell me about what you're writing."

"Promise not to laugh?"

"Why would I laugh?"

"Because everyone laughs when they read my stories, even the people who can't really read."

He gave another smile. "They're all idiots."

"That's not very nice." But Todd was smiling too. "So, there was this computer named Mr. Scolex-

"A computer with a name?" At least the name was funny.

"An A.I. with a name. So, anyway, Mr. Scolex eventually becomes too sentient and ..."

Karl coughed, bringing Pepito's attention to the fact that he had been staring at the inmate for several minutes, but instead of backing off he leaned closer, heart beating loudly in his own ears. "Todd?" Suddenly, the last year of no correspondence made perfect sense. This had to be a mistake.

There was a small hint of recognition, but the man did not react.

"Unchain him."

The guards exchanged a look of mild confusion as they obeyed the command, unlocking the shackles and letting the weak prisoner fall to knees on the hard concrete slab. There were a few chuckles from the surrounding followers, who must have been expecting some display of degradation.

"Lift him up."

The same two guards instantly pulled the prisoner to his feet roughly, hands under his armpits.

Despite the disgust that the oily skin produced, Pepito's hand was back on that face. It felt almost clammy, but was still moist with sweat. "Todd, do you know who I am?" They were closer now, and he could see that the large, brown eyes were dilated. They met his own for a moment, but wouldn't seem to stick. "Did you give him anything?"

"Give? He's been in isolation for two days."

Pepito's hand moved down to the pale neck, checking the pulse rate. "I mean drugs. Is he on anything?"

"No, sir."

"Then he's in shock." He pulled away, giving Benedict a look that had never boded well for anyone. The Hell-fire was probably showing again, but it hardly mattered. It wasn't something he had to hide so much anymore. "Karl, see that he is taken to the medical ward for treatment. I want him cleaned and ready to go in an hour. Is that clear?"

"As you wish." Karl swallowed thickly before turning to the two guards that held Todd, his memory of just how important that person had once been to Pepito apparently flooding back in an instant. "You two will come with me. You will gently carry the prisoner to the medical ward. Now!" One fierce glare and they jumped to his command, filled with what was surely was gratitude for being allowed to flee the preternatural fury that was being directed at Benedict.

Fists clenching into tight knots, Pepito watched until they had entered the building before turning slowly back to the others. "Guards are dismissed, back to your posts. All except for Rayer. And you, Mr. Benedict. I would like to talk about giving you a well deserved promotion."

Seconds later the tormented, hellish screams could be heard throughout the whole of the enormous facility.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Vertical farms are awesome, they will save space and resource and create much more healthy food : http:/www.verticalfarms.com
> 
> -The android manufacturing has a point and is inspired by the fourth point of the Five Point Plan (my college has one of those...and sometimes they call it The Master Plan) of the Church of Satan as explained by Magus Peter H. Gilmore in Satanism: The Feared Religion, which can be found on their website under "theory and practice" (www.churchofsatan.com):  
> "Fourth, Satanists advocate a new industry, the development and promotion of artificial human companions. These humanoids will be constructed to be as realistic as possible, and available to anyone who can afford one. Recognizing that the human animal often raises himself up through the degradation of another, this would provide a safe outlet for such behavior. Have the lover of your dreams, regardless of your own prowess; every man a king who can purchase his own subject; or contrary-wise, buy the master you wish to serve. Freedom of choice to satisfy your most secret desires with no-one to be bothered is now at hand. What could be better for blowing-off the tension that exists throughout our society, and promoting healthier interaction among true humans?"
> 
> \- Mr. Scolex is one of JV's pseudonyms. I believe it is listed in the IZ credits as voicing Zim's computer.


	3. Chapter 3

Pepito wiped his still warm hands together as he took his leave of the newly promoted Commandant Rayer and made his way through the reinforced concrete halls of the prison to the medical ward with confidence that the man that he had just personally given the position would do the job properly, especially considering that the guard had been witness to what happens to those who do not. He was directed by fawning nurses at the main desk to one of the private rooms, which were usually used for very serious cases or security risks. He knocked briefly, but opened the door before anyone could voice so much as a 'come in'.

A surprised doctor looked up from her patient, to the President, then quickly to the floor where his adviser lay in an unconscious heap. "M-mr. President. I am so sorry, but he," she gestured to Karl, "the patient went into fight or flight mode, he needed to be tranquilized, but Mr. Rove panicked."

"So you shot him with the tranquilizer too?" A small, rare smile threatened at the corners of his lips as he eyed the swollen puncture wound on Karl's neck.

"Well, I ... Yes. I had to. He wasn't letting me do my job, and the patient was endangering himself and us as well."

"Doctor, do you know who this man is?" He gestured to Todd, who at least looked more at peace now that he was unconscious.

Her face hardened, amber eyes meeting fiery red. "With all due respect, Sir, I don't give a damn who he is. When he is in my ward, he is my patient and he will get the treatment that he needs. You have my allegiance, Your Highness," she held up her right hand, removing the latex glove to expose a circle of three sixes, "but my first oath was not to you."

A dark brow creased slightly and Pepito stepped forward, taking the hand into his own. A finger traced her mark. "This isn't the mark that we give to the masses. You're initiated." He took the hand into his own, palms touching, and their marks lined up, energy signatures a perfect match, meaning her mark could be traced back to him.

"Yes. For years now." Her other hand brushed light brown hair from her pale face. "You think Jay's the Christ?"

"Who?"

"Jay. You know, the patient. You asked if I know who he is. He comes here a few times a month, when the injuries are bad enough. So, you think he's the one?"

"Oh. His name is Todd. And no, I don't think so."

"But you still need to be sure?"

Pepito finally stepped back from her personal space, releasing her hand on the way. "I suppose. Tell me, Doctor, how would you like a promotion?" He chuckled briefly at the fear that flashed in her eyes. Apparently news of the form that the late Commandant's promotion had taken had spread fast. Good. "I need a personal doctor that I can trust for those in Todd's position. What do you say?"

Her face flooded with relief and she gave him a nervous smile. "I'd love too. I am honored, President Diablo." Their hands met once again to seal the deal.

"Oh, I should probably get your name." This time he did smile.

"Doctor Marla Zinger, at your service, sir."

"Great. Well, Marla Zinger, how would you like to meet my mother?" It had been months since his last visit to his Southern California mansion, which was governed largely my his mother. He had mixed feelings about paying the still Christian woman a visit so soon after that package, but Todd would probably be more comfortable there, and with his mother's presence, than in New York.

Pepito spent most of the short plane trip in tele-meetings with several important people that he was supposed to have met with in person that day. Karl had woken up toward the end, apparently having received a smaller dose of sedative than Todd when he had been stabbed. The thought had still made him force back laughter even as they were making their way up the mansion's stairs and with Karl shooting him frustrated glares.

But there was nothing to laugh about now. He'd had Todd placed in the bedroom in his own third-floor quarters to better keep an eye on him without having to go downstairs to the second floor, where the guest quarters were, every thirty minutes. Marla was currently busy checking the conditions of the prisoners that were kept in the detainment facility out back, so with Todd still unconscious, he was practically alone with his mother, who was giving him a rather unpleasant look from across the bed.

He shifted uncomfortably in a leather chair that had been placed beside the bed, sitting his book on the nightstand to return the look. "This is not my fault, if that's what you're thinking."

Rosemary's hands trembled as she crossed her pale arms over her chest, almost giving herself a hug. "Look at him, Pepito. He's your best friend."

"No, Mother, he was my best friend ... a long time ago. And his name is on the list. All he ever had to do was tell them his name." His rebuke came out more hostile than he had intended, and he wasn't even sure if the anger was directed at his mother, Todd, or maybe both of them. In a way they had both tried to abandon him, but, of course, he was supposed to take the blame for the natural consequences of their decisions. He sighed. "Look, as much as I would like to, I can't control everything and everyone in the world. And I can't know about every single infraction of my law."

Rosemary maintained her sullen stance, though the glare from her steel-blue eyes weakened by a small margin. "But this is what those laws produce, darling. You can't implement a system like this and not expect for people to get hurt."

"Justifiable loses. Of course people are going to get hurt. This is a war, Mother, even if it's not a conventional one. People die in wars. Souls are twisted and warped in wars. That's just the way it is."

"I suppose you would know that more than most."

This time it was his own eyes that narrowed. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Rosemary just shook her head sadly before heading for the small living room that would lead back to the main, third floor hall. "I'm going to see to dinner. I'll have some soup made for when Todd wakes up."

"Thank you, Mother." The comment was begrudging in light of the small argument, but his parents' training in manners was still loosely in place, even if their marriage was not. When the door to his quarters closed, he reached for his book again, just noticing that it sat beside a framed photo: the same one of Todd and himself that had been in the manila envelope that morning. So, it hadn't been the only copy. And maybe the others weren't either. His mother hadn't mentioned that she was actually moving things from the old house in. Damn. This was shaping up to be a sentimental day.

He looked back at the man before him, who was tucked into the horribly pastel comforter that matched the horrible pastel wall paper that his mother had decked out most of the estate in. He looked more Todd-like now that he was cleaner, though he could still use a proper bath. Pepito frowned, knowing that the bedding would need changing that very night. Maybe he could request a darker color.

Going back to his book, he managed to cover a few chapters before there was a rustling of covers. But when he looked up, Todd was perfectly still. He shrugged and returned to the book. More rustling! Todd had moved this time for sure, but just barely. After staring expectantly at the other for a good five minutes, Pepito's eyes wondered back to the book only to shoot back to Todd's form in hopes of catching the illusive movement. Nothing! Reading it was then.

 

The first thing Todd noticed was that it was soft. Too soft, too comfortable. That meant that he was either suffering from nerve damage or he had been moved from isolation, probably to the medical ward. But neither the prison cots nor the medical ward's beds were this comfortable. He resolved that this must be a dream. And even in that dream, he couldn't completely escape the pain that had been visited upon him this last time. But the pain was nothing. Nothing compared to ... no. Best not to think of it. Dreaming was better.

His eyes hurt when he opened them, making him wish that his dreams weren't always so realistic. The light in the room was dim, but near at hand. It's source was a lamp on an extravagant nightstand, beside which a very familiar figure sat in an equally extravagant chair, face tilted down toward a thick book. He looked a lot like he had on the posters and on TV last year, only his hair was longer and tied in a short ponytail in the back. "Hi, Pepito." He propped himself up on his elbows, despite the pain and the heavy comforter.

The book slammed shut as Pepito's head lifted to face the bed. Todd was awake and obviously no longer in shock. Marla had told him that would probably be the case as shock rarely lasted more than a few hours to a few days. But his voice was so casual. "Hello, Todd."

"You look older." Usually, when he dreamed of Pepito, they were both still teenagers or at most early college age.

"Yes, well, time tends to do that. For now anyway." He sat his book back upon the table, sending Todd a half-genuine smile. "I'm glad you're finally awake."

"Am I?" The pain came again when Todd's eyes widened in surprise. Could it really be? But how- A sudden flash of memory cut that thought off. "Oh."

Pepito ignored the tiny stab of pain that he shouldn't have felt when Todd's voice turned instantly colder as he realized this was indeed real. "Yes. And I have some questions for you, if you're feeling up to them."

Every muscle in Todd's body tensed, making him acutely aware of his, now dressed, injuries and just how they had gotten there. He fought back an urgent need to throw up stomach bile. Dear God, this was not good!

The forced smile dropped when Todd winced, and Pepito reached for the bottles of aspirin and spring water that were waiting beside his book before standing from his chair to take a seat on the side of the bed. He rolled his eyes when Todd forced himself to sit up so he could move as far back against the headboard as possible. "Doesn't that just make the pain worse?"

"Ummm ...." Yes, it did, but the movement had been almost instinctual.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Here, take these. I know it hurts, but I don't think you need any more sedatives at the moment."

Todd took a deep breath, forcing himself to reach out a hand for the pills. The actual hand to hand contact wasn't as bad a he had feared. "T-thanks." He popped the pills into his mouth, which also hurt, before chasing them with several large gulps of water. At least the coolness felt soothing to his raw throat.

"You're welcome." He took the bottle of water back from a pale, shaking hand, twisting the top back on with a frown. How had Todd survived at least two beatings a month in Work Camp Thirty-one if he reacted this badly every time? "Todd, no one is going to hurt you here. You're safe, okay? You're not going to be punished for your part in the breakout as long as you answer my questions."

Todd forced himself to nod. "Where is 'here'?"

"My house. Well, my new house ... one of my new houses. It's in our old town. My mother is down stairs making dinner." Technically, she was probably telling the cook what to make, but maybe the familiar situation would help him to relax.

"Oh." After all the time that had passed, especially the last year, that was almost surreal.

"So, about those questions. How about we start with why you didn't give the guards your real name?"

Todd looked down at the flowered comforter as a nervous heat seemed to fill his body. He knew that these questions were merely a formality, almost a courtesy. If Pepito wanted information, he could easily take it whether Todd was willing to give it or not. "Because I ... I was captured with some people who didn't need the attention that telling them might have brought."

"And who were these people?"

"Some of them were members of the Resistance. Most of them were just protesters."

"The Resistance. What an original name. But they must have held important positions within that organization if you thought that they would have been in more trouble than you all already were. Are they still at the work camp?" He let out an angry sigh when Todd didn't respond. " You know all I have to do to find out is make a phone call." Or read his mind.

"Some of them. I think about ten people escaped in the breakout." But that was only if none of them had been hunted down already. A tight knot formed in his stomach at the thought of possibly going through all of that for nothing. Or worse than nothing.

Pepito nodded at the information that he had already attained from the camp. "Who were they? The important ones, I mean. Who were they really?"

"The Resistance doesn't use real names. You know, in case of situations like this."

"Clever. So you didn't know any of them personally? I was told that you might have healed one of the men that escaped."

"I ... I knew a few of them from before, but I won't tell you their names." Pepito had always been able to tell when he was lying, so that was of little use now that his powers had probably grown even more. All he had left was passive resistance: the knowledge that he had not sold out completely, even if the information was stolen from him forcefully.

"Alright. You don't have to tell me. I'll find out soon enough when my people capture them anyway." He gave another half-meaningful smile. Real loyalty was such a rare human quality. It, along with intelligence, was lacking in most of the nameless masses of uninitiated morons who followed him as blindly as Christians followed their lame excuse for a god. Most of those people were going to the camps when it was time for the second phase.

Todd said nothing to this, simultaneously thankful for the leeway and full of dread at what would happen to his friends if they really did get caught.

"Now, tell me about this supposed healing. The guard that I spoke with didn't actually see the event take place."

If it was possible, Todd thought that this question might have made him even more nervous. Everyone at the camp knew that the guards sometimes took people away for acts that could be interpreted as miraculous, and that those people usually did not come back. The exact reason behind this was a well kept secret, but it wasn't difficult to guess that Pepito's administration wanted to weed out any possible supernatural competition. "T-there isn't really much to tell. I don't know what happened. He ... he was shot, and I stopped to help him get away, and it just happened."

"You didn't do anything?" Pepito almost cringed at the note of relief in his own voice.

Todd swallowed thickly at how close Pepito was now, at how intensely he was looking into his eyes, into his soul. Any trace of a lie would be easily detected. "I don't think I did. I wouldn't even know how to do anything like that." It was true. What little he knew about magic was mostly things that he had learned from the very person questioning him right now.

A long, tense moment passed before Pepito finally pulled back a little, as satisfied as he was going to get with that answer. "Okay." This time the smile was completely real, even if it was largely against his own will. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Okay? Everything was just going to be okay now? Somehow he doubted that. "Uh, Pepito, can I ask you a question now?"

"Oh, very well."

"What would have happened if I had done it?"

"I don't know. Probably nothing. One isolated healing incident isn't all that big a deal."

"Then what happens to the others? The ones that get taken away for stuff like that?"

"That's more than one question, Todd. And that information is classified." At Todd's stricken look, Pepito sighed again. He should have know that his old friend would take such an ambiguous statement in the worst way possible. "They're relocated and tested, alright? But that's all you're getting unless you want to reconsider joining my cause."

"Pepito, you'd better not be badgering the poor boy!" Rosemary warned as she entered without so much as a knock. "He's had a tough enough time without you adding more stress, and I imagine that he's getting pretty tried of that question after all of this time."

"I am not badgering him, Mother. I was just asking him standard questions concerning his situation. And it's fine, okay? It's fine. He's not in any trouble," Pepito added when her face was consumed with concern. Now he remembered why he hardly ever stayed here.

Though she was obviously relieved at this news, Rosemary's smile was forced. "Well, I just came to say that dinner is ready and ask if you're going to be coming down or having it up here. Todd, honey, do you want him to leave you alone?"

"You're trying to kick me out of my own room now?" Pepito could feel his anger starting to rise again. Did he really have to tell her exactly where her place as an unmarked, even as one who had mothered him, was again? It was getting tiring.

Todd shook his head, desperately wanting to stop this trifle before it escalated. "I ... uh, no, it's okay."

"Well, alright then. Marla and some servants will be up shortly. You feel free to call for me on the intercom if you need me." She stepped closer, placing an wrist communicator on the bed beside him since getting up to call was bound to be painful.

"Yes, Ms. Diablo. Thank you." He managed a small smile before she turned to leave, once again wondering if this really was a dream after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Violence and implied (non-graphic) rape.

When his mother finally took her leave, Pepito turned back around to face Todd, leaning back and away from him into a more relaxed position. "Thanks, Todd, honey."

Pulling the communicator into his lap, Todd couldn't help the glare that his face insisted on sending Pepito, despite the pain that it caused him, for the sarcastic remark as well as his treatment of Rosemary, who was one of the nicest people that he had ever known.

The glare made Pepito smirk. "Good. For a moment there I thought we were going back to our second grade relationship."

Drawing his legs up almost against his stomach, Todd thought that at this point their second grade relationship might be an improvement. "Did you mean what you said to your mother? About me not being in trouble?"

"I had no reason to lie."

"So what happens now?"

"That's a good question." Pepito glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "We've still a little while before dinner if you want to get a real bath."

"Umm, yeah ... that's not really what I meant, but thanks." Todd knew that it would probably sting horribly, but a hot bath had been on the top of the things that he had desperately wanted during his entire isolation. And eating in his current state held no appeal anyway.

Pepito received a startled look when he rose to his feet, pulling back the comforter to help Todd up. "What? The doctor said you have a sprained ankle."

 Looking down at his right ankle, Todd saw that it was wrapped in an elasticized bandage. "It doesn't feel sprained." Actually, it was one of the few parts of him that didn't hurt.

"She gave you a local anesthetic to cut down on some of the pain, but you're still not supposed to put too much pressure on it."

After a few moments, Todd relented, allowing himself to be helped up, his right arm slung over Pepito's shoulder and Pepito's left arm around his back as they made their way through the room, even though it was slightly humiliating under the circumstances. "Why are you doing this?" He winced when Pepito shifted as if preparing to drop him for the ingratitude.

"Would you rather I not?"

"No, I just meant, why you personally? Don't you have all kinds of things to do? And other people to do this kind of stuff?"

"You mean things like planning the destruction of the human race? Not really. I cleared my schedule to come here when Karl told me that there was another potential, and now that I am here, I'm kind of obligated to stay a while."

"Sorry to disappoint."

 "Who said I'm disappointed?"

"Aren't you?"

There was a long pause as the two made their way through the moderate living room that connected a few other rooms in Pepito's quarters to the double doors of a nice sized bath room, which opened without so much as a touch on the half-demon's part. "No. I'm not." He helped Todd to sit on the edge of the whirl tub before adjusting the nobs to start the water running. "I did miss you, you know. And I am glad to finally find out what happened to you, even if you did betray me. How hot do you want this water?"

Todd's eyes softened some at the unexpected answer. "Just below scalding." He forced himself to meet Pepito's gaze. "You think I betrayed you?"

"You did betray me, Todd. What else would you be doing with the Resistance?" Pepito adjusted the temperature, taking a seat on the other side of the faucet from Todd. "Test the water."

Scooting closer to the handles, Todd rolled up his left sleeve, exposing a bruised wrist. "I told you that they weren't all with the Resistance."

"But you were working with them, against me." He fought an urge to touch the scar on his head again. "Tell me, did any of your friends by any chance know the man who tried to kill me last year?"

"I ... really don't know if any of them knew him. I wasn't involved back then. Not until you changed. Not until you started the camps. And I told them that I wouldn't kill anyone. I was just trying to help get as many people out of your jurisdiction as I could." He stuck his hand in the hot water, grimacing at the pain, but still unsatisfied. "It needs to be hotter."

Pepito was fully prepared to scoff at Todd's claim of wanting it hotter than even he took it, considering that his body temperature was naturally a few degrees higher than most humans', but a good look at his exposed wrist stopped him. Letting the water continue to run at its current temperature, he moved closer, capturing the retreating hand. "Todd, is this a hand print?" At the court yard, he had assumed that the marks around both of his wrists were from the restraints that had held him.

Making a vain attempt to free his hand, Todd looked away from Pepito, afraid that his answer would make it all too real. He didn't want to burst this dream-like bubble in which he could almost pretend that nothing had happened.

"Answer me, Todd. Is this a hand print?" His voice was firm, but he tried not to make it as hard as it would have normally been with an order. "Let me see the other one."

Todd took a deep breath as he presented his other hand to Pepito, letting him roll up that sleeve as well. He wasn't going to cry again. If he tried hard enough, he could almost believe that it had happened to someone else.

He knew what he would see before he even touched the other hand. Todd's eyes had that far away look again. He wasn't out of it this time, but he was trying to block something. Pepito knew that look. In the past it had usually meant that he needed to kick someone's ass. He let out a long sigh when his suspicions were reinforced. A part of him wanted to leave then and forget the matter entirely, but instead he pulled up a spare chair.

"Pepito, what are you doing!" Todd moved back impulsively, nearly falling into the filling tub, when Pepito's fingers started to unbutton his gray work camp shirt.

"You're going to need help with the bandages, and I need to see how bad the damage is. I didn't get a good look before. Now hold still."

Maybe the bath wasn't worth it after all. Todd felt his eyes sting as he fought back the tears. It was easier to pretend when you were the only one who knew. But maybe Pepito wouldn't say anything. Maybe he wouldn't care. And maybe that would be enough of a relief that Todd wouldn't mind that he didn't care.

Just as he remembered, there were bruises and cuts in many places on Todd's upper body, including more hand prints that he hadn't previously recognized as such on his shoulders and upper chest and what looked to be a boot print on his side. It wasn't as if he had ever believed the story about the injuries coming from the escape attempt or even when he had been captured, but somehow they seemed more malicious now. But that might have just been because of the way Todd was acting, because of that look in his eyes that betrayed so much vulnerability. That look had always made him feel strange, protective, when they were children, even now.

He jumped again when, after removing the exposed bandages, Pepito's hands found the waist of his pants. "Stop! Okay, I seriously think I can take it from here."

"Very well. Go right ahead." Letting his hands be pushed away, Pepito leaned back in his chair to watch Todd's progress.

"Aren't you going to leave?" Todd tried to make his voice sound scandalized or demanding instead of pleading.

"No. I think I'll stick around for the floor show. What I have memorized from all those gym showers is getting a little foggy."

He looked down, away from Pepito, as his hands came together in his lap, trembling. He could feel his breathing picking up speed and becoming more shallow, and hoped that he would faint from the stress. Alas, no such luck. Through all the years of trauma, Todd had never been a fainter. Minutes passed in silence as he just sat there. If it hadn't been for all of the bandaged places on his legs, he would have bathed in the pants. Pleading would only make him look even more pathetic than he already did.

Pepito had to get up to turn off the water, and he was tempted to push Todd in, but that would only lead to a wet, sticky, bloody mess. And with his luck, Todd would go into shock again. He already looked like he might be on the verge of a panic attack. It would be easy to comply with his request for privacy, and he wanted very badly to do so, but something kept him there. Something was wrong and maybe he should just ignore it, but he couldn't. It was ridiculous, but he couldn't. "Todd, it's just a bath. I'm sure you've suffered worse. Now, suck it up."

 As Pepito's hand wrapped around his upper arm, pulling him to his feet, Todd forced himself to glare again. The other hand moved down, pulling his pants down below the work camp issued briefs, and Todd could feel his face heat up in near mortification. A single tear rolled down his cheek, feeling almost cold against hot skin as he was allowed to sit back down with the pants at his ankles. He gulped down deep breaths of air, attempting to find that level of mental distance that he had learned to employ during his punishments at the camp as the bandages were removed form his legs and then his thighs.

Pepito had to hold back a gasp once Todd's upper legs were freed of the fabric that had been wrapped around them. There were even more bruises on his legs than his torso, but what caught his attention was the purple, bruised prints that ended in fingernail cuts on either inner thigh, making things all too obvious. Someone very strong had forced his legs apart, and most of those injuries had come not from a simple beating, but from a violent struggle. He suddenly wished that Benedict was still alive so that he could kill him again, only more painfully than last time. It was true that in Hell people could be tortured to all new lengths without breaking, and the ex- Commandant was now definitely going to be one of them, but it lacked the satisfaction and closure that could only be found when their ordeal ended in death. Rape was one of the few forms that punishment in the work camps was explicitly not allowed to take. That whole damn camp was going to need an overhaul.

Todd's eyes remained closed until he felt himself being lowered into a sitting position on the floor. He was leaned against the wall of the tub, and Pepito was on the floor as well, right across from him, looking at a loss for words. Todd stared at him blankly, wanting that moment to pass.

"Tell me what happened."

Pulling his legs back toward his chest as he had on the bed, Todd wrapped his arms around them. He shook his head resolutely. More tears fell from his eyes. There was no way that Pepito was stupid enough to need him to spell it out, and the last thing that he wanted to do was talk about it. He looked away until the other crawled closer, until Pepito's upper chest met his knees and his hand forced him to look into his eyes. The hand slipped into his hair, against his temple without another word, and he knew what that meant. "Please, Pepito ... please don't."

"I have to." His voice came out barely above a whisper. He had never seen Todd look this broken, and somehow it was making him feel broken as well. It was almost enough to make him regret finding him.

"Why?"

"I don't know." It wasn't as if he wanted to because he didn't. He didn't want to know this at all. He didn't want to open himself up to the level of empathy needed to drag out this truth for anyone ever again, but he couldn't make himself stop. He felt Todd's body relax between his own and the tub as the connection was forced.

There was a flash of light, and then Todd was being pulled and shoved down a flight of stairs, down dark corridors and into an even darker cell. Another flash and Commandant Benedict, along with two more guards, was in the cell with him, hitting him, kicking him, screaming obscenities and accusations. It was all pretty standard, expected even, and Todd had taken it like a trooper, like he always did. But then something was different.

The Commandant had demanded to know how Scolex had known how to override the control protocols for the androids. When he received no answers, he brought in one of the androids that had helped in the escape. Todd knew him as L-781. He had been deactivated when captured, but after being carried into the cell, he was restarted, rebooted and reprogrammed before his eyes.

It had taken three guards to hold him down, kicking and screaming, finally fighting back even though in the back of his mind he had known that the odds were impossible.

He knew that L-781 had no more choice than he did when the controls were on. He was simply running a simulation that the Commandant had chosen, the most violent one he had. The disparaging words, the rough touches, the sadism; it was all fake, all acting, all a rape of L-781 just as much as of himself. It was an elaborate mechanization, a series of complex commands made to look real. It was what the androids were supposed to be, but weren't: artificial. There had to be a code word to stop the program, but he had no idea what it was. It certainly hadn't been 'stop' or 'please' or anything to that effect that had escaped him in that time.

The guards were laughing and cheering and helping the android rip his clothes off, still landing blows whenever he escaped his grasp, pushing him back down to the floor. By the time it was over he felt like an empty shell of a person. He heard L-781 crying when he was dragged from the cell in the wake of the simulation.

The three didn't seem to mind that he was lying in a puddle of blood with tears and snot running down his face when they took their turn, and this time they barely had to restrain his limp form. At least the android's programs always contained basic safety protocols.

There was pain, so much pain. He felt as if he were being impaled, ripped apart and chocked, all at the same time, but there was nothing he could do. He could only lay there and pray for death. Instead, he had eventually passed out from lack of air, though that probably hadn't been the end of it. When he awoke a different kind of fluid had been added to the mix.

"Pepito, what on Earth are you doing!"

"Let him go, Mr. President! You have to let him go."

The new voices, those of his mother and Marla Zinger,  which didn't fit the environment he was submerged in pulled Pepito half-way back to his current reality, though that did little to relieve his panic.  His hand slipped from Todd's temple, through his hair and to the back of his shoulder. Todd groaned in pain as arms tightened around him even more, pulling him further into the embrace that must have happened during the transfer. Todd was sobbing now, beyond words, his head buried in the crook of Pepito's neck. Pepito was shocked to realize that he was crying too, not sobbing, but there were tears falling into the dark brown hair against his face as he whispered things he was barely conscious of. "I'm sorry, Todd, I'm so sorry. Don't cry. Please don't cry. I promise. I promise you're safe now. That's never, never going to happen again. I'm sorry ...."

"Darling, you have got to let him go! You're hurting him!" Rosemary fell to her knees beside the two men, pulling desperately on Pepito's arms that were pressing them together much too tightly. The harder she pulled, the stronger his grip became.

When searing pain coursed through his hand, Pepito finally looked up, breaking free of the emotional loop that had taken his brain hostage. He loosened his grip just enough for his mother to pull Todd away from his chest, but not out of his grasp. A hard smack to the face had him letting go completely, and Todd's feeble grip on him was easily dislodged. He brought a hand to his face, where Marla's print no doubt now lingered, before lowering it to examine the cross shaped, spiritual burn on the back. Looking up, he saw his mother pocketing a golden, matching cross with a guilty tremble to her hand, though it had not been the one to administer the blow. Most of his anger shifted toward the doctor, who was now kneeling at Todd's side, he spoke in a shocked voice. "You hit me."

Only a short apologetic look was spared for him before Marla turned back to her patient. "I had too. He doesn't need to lose any more blood."

All of the anger that might have built from that blow to his ego faded away, though the embarrassment did not, when he saw that she was right. He looked silently at Todd, who stared back with teary, confused eyes. Many of his cuts were bleeding again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Minor sexual themes

Pepito wiped the salty wetness from his face as he hoisted himself to his feet, snatching a box of tissues from the long counter that held the bathroom sink and bringing it back to Marla, who gave it a rather unimpressed look, but took it all the same, pulling out big wads to dab Todd's bleeding cuts.

She handed a handful to Rosemary as well. "Here, Mrs. Diablo, just apply moderate pressure until the bleeding stops. This isn't that bad. There's no new damage; some of the old wounds have just been irritated."

"Miss Reilly, dear. But call me Rosemary." Taking the the tissues, Rosemary gave Todd a sympathetic smile when he groaned at the contact and the pressing. Her smile faded fast as she got a good look at his legs. "Oh, my good Lord, Pepito-"

"Please don't, Mother. Not now. I know, alright. I know." His eyes meet Todd's again for a matter of seconds before he looked to the exit. "I ... I'll be back in a while."

Slow and steady, he left the bathroom, walked through his living room to an official looking door that connected to his office, which was just left of his rooms, though its entrance was even further left, coming out in another hall that was reserved for staff offices and not personal quarters. Stepping through the door, he pushed it closed behind him, leaning on it to catch his breath and clear his head. It had been quite a while since the last time he had cried.

He wanted to stay with Todd. He wanted to find Benedict in Hell and make him pay. But right now he was too unstable. If he faced either, he wouldn't be able to maintain control, he would lose what little composure he had left. It was humiliating to show so much weakness, to be so affected by this. But he was, and there was no denying it. Still, something had to be done about that camp.

He dropped down into his chair, clearing his throat and picking up the phone on his desk. "Put me through to Karl, please."

"One minute, sir."

Elevator music was shorting followed by ringing, and ringing ... and more ringing. "Damn it!"

The ear piece found it's way back to the holder with a little too much force, and Pepito paused for a few calming breaths before he made his way into the administrative hall. Karl's office was only a few doors down. After a few curt knocks, he let himself in, hearing muffled speaking from within. Once inside the office, it soon became apparent that the muffled sounds were actually singing, or some distorted, feeble excuse for it.

"Doin the dance, the Karl Rove dance, doin the dance, the Karl Rove dance! Dancin and a talkin, and a dacin and a talkin, and a dancin and a talkin-" In the midst of the mechanical, robotic dance moves that he was fervently demonstrating, the older demon popped out his cell phone, holding it briefly to his ear for the current line of the song before returning it to his jacket for the next. "Tell us, what is your name! It's MC Rove!"

As he approached from behind, coming to stand beside the desk, Pepito shook his head in bewildered dismay. That was disgraceful ... but also kind of hilarious. If he hadn't been in such a dismal mood, he might have actually laughed. "Ahem."

At the sound Karl pulled himself from his nostalgic dance, a lecherous grin creeping onto his chubby, white face, obviously expecting someone else. Without so much as a glance back, he headed for his private bathroom. "Hello, boys. I hope you brought those delightful whips again."

"No. Sorry, I left those in New York."

Karl halted mid-step, spinning around to face Pepito, who was leaning against his desk, arms folded across his chest, looking a mixture of ill and incredulous. "Pepito! I, uh, didn't know it was you!"

"That much is as I had hoped. This isn't a vacation, you know. When I call I expect you to pick up."

"Yes, Pep-Mr. President. I understand. I just thought that, since you seemed preoccupied ...."

When Karl's eyes seemed to linger on his shirt, Pepito looked down, just noticing that it was sprinkled with blood. Actually, his whole suite was, but it stuck out more on the pressed, white fabric. The thoughts of how it had been acquired made him feel angry all over again, but something else as well: embarrassed. Luckily, it wasn't Karl's place to question him and his pathetic and desperate hugging of prisoners and potential suspects. "That is none of your concern. But I have a job for you. Bring me the Vargas guy. You know ... Edgar, I think."

"Edgar Vargas? The dead guy?"

"Yes, the dead guy, from Hell. I want him in my office and in a body in twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes! But-"

"Just do it, Karl." His voice was appropriately firm this time as he turned to stride from the office, passing a couple of androids from an escort service with large bags that probably contained 'those delightful whips', among other things, and canceling Karl's appointment.

He probably should have changed his shirt before the meeting, but by venturing back into his quarters, he would run a high risk of seeing Todd again. Pepito wasn't quite ready for that, so instead he simply rested his head on his arms, which themselves rested upon his desk.

As much as he disapproved, he knew that things like rape and abuse occurred, probably pretty regularly, especially in any kind of prison setting. It pissed him off to no end that he still didn't have enough control over the populace to put an end to it, and possibly never would, but it had never made him more than passingly sad. It had never made him cry. He knew what this meant. Whether he liked it or not, Todd wasn't just someone that he used to know, even after all the time, even after what he still considered to be a betrayal. To his unconscious mind, at least, he was still his best friend.

Besides verging on ridiculously unsatanic, this posed a small problem. The world wasn't the same place that it had been a year ago, when Todd had been imprisoned. He couldn't just release him into a political and economic state where recognition as a citizen was dependent on having a mark that Todd didn't have and most likely still didn't want. He would be reduced to the level of a homeless slave, probably arrested and imprisoned again. Or he would meet up with the Resistance again. None of this was acceptable. Pepito was going to have to keep him. But that was hardly a resolution to the matter because there was still the question of where he should be kept, whether he could be trusted to not attempt another escape, even whether he could be trusted not to try and gather information to feed to the Resistance.

A loud tapping upon his office door drew his eyes to the clock on the wall. It was nine twenty-eight PM. He had been in his office for about eighteen minutes, so that would probably be Karl with Damned Edgar. Since he was so rarely at this estate, he didn't have a personal secretary on call. Instead, the whole building usually relied on the receptionist down stairs, so there was no one to announce his guest. "Come in."

The door opened without hesitation, allowing a tall man with medium brown hair to walk in before Karl. Behind thin glasses, the eyes matched the hair, as did the goatee and even his shirt. The overall impression was somewhat boring, common. This man was easily over looked, even by the Administration, but Pepito had found him useful on several occasions.

Karl looked to the clock, making sure that Pepito's time matched his own with a relieved sigh before closing the door behind him and taking a seat on one of two chairs in front of the President's desk. "Looks like I made it."

"See, Karl, I knew you could do it. How's Hell treating you, Mr. Vargas?"

Edgar remained standing, apparently not comfortable in the abode of the Antichrist any more than he was in Hell. Or most likely, his own skin. The newly acquired body, surely harvested from a vacated coma patient, had been morphed to look like his old one from when he was alive via black magic, and Pepito had heard that they often didn't seem to fit quite right at first. "The usual, Mr. Diablo. The usual." There was a brief pause in which he seemed conflicted before speaking again. "Has the Administration by any chance decided to rehear my case?"

Pepito signed irritably. He and Edgar had been through this every time that he had employed the man for any service over the past decade. "I've already explained to you, Mr. Vargas, that your appeal was denied years ago."

"But I was a good person, at least I tried to be! I died believing in God, in Jesus, that I would go to Heaven! What more could I have done!"

"Well, for starters, you could have suffered in humility the day you died instead of fighting. You could have not suggested that Johnny C. kill himself, or let you go and choose someone who deserved to die instead. Self sacrifice is one of the easiest ways into Heaven, whereas trying to force the burden, however undeserved, onto someone else is quite the opposite. So, despite your faith, you now work for Hell." He paused to smile at Edgar's distraught look. "However, on your level, there is the possibly of compensation."

"What?"

"Of working off your sin. It is possible, you know. Especially considering how most of your life was lived in dogmatic fear and isolation." Another smile at Edgar's offense, which he was still too afraid to really voice. Or maybe he was just smart because Pepito had come to be known for having quite a temper lately. "That would be moral virtue to you, I suppose. But anyway, stop fretting about the body. It will get better. It's like breaking in a new pair of shoes, or so I'm told." The smile turned into a smirk when Edgar backed up some, probably assuming that Pepito had read his mind instead of his body language.

"W-what do you want this time, then?"

"Something pretty simple, actually. You see, I have a problem with one of the work camps up here. I need for you to take a team to Camp Thirty-one. The entire camp needs to be examined, so make sure you have some committed people as well as some telepaths because this isn't a sit down job. I expect that you'll find at least three men who have violated my policy on prisoner welfare. Have them and any others killed, and make sure that it is done in front of the other guards. Also, there may be some prisoners who have ties to terrorist group known as the Resistance. I want them detained for questioning."

"O-kay. But why do you need me for this operation? Surely you have your own people for this kind of thing."

"Yes, but I've found that it's best to have a group with a little bit of distance from the ones that are being investigated for maximum effectiveness. At the same time, such minor dirty work can't be expected to fall upon the shoulders of Initiates or high ranking demons, so I am left with workers from Hell, people like you." Why was he even bothering to explain this! It wasn't as if he actually owed Edgar an explanation, but it did help take his mind off of Todd a little. "I have far too many civilians on my hands who like to cut corners, who like to do as little as they can get away with, leaving others to pick up the slack. I chose you specially because, despite your ill fated demise and its inevitable resolution, you strike me as someone who believes in justice. And I believe that you will do the job I ask of you because you want to see that justice applied not only to others, but to yourself. Because your afterlife might depend on it."

"So what, I'm just supposed to trust you?" Edgar gave him a forced incredulous look. "How do I know that anything you say is really true?"

"You don't, Edgar, you don't. But that's exactly it. You're a Christian, right? So have some faith ... even though it didn't help you much last time. Ha!" Pepito paused for a deep breath. Teasing Edgar was always good for a laugh, even if this particular one happened to be a little hollow. "I'll tell you what. When the job is done, properly done, I'll write you a letter of recommendation."

"I hardly think that Heaven will be moved by a letter from the Antichrist. And why would you want to help me get into Heaven?"

"I'm not too worried over losing one soul to Heaven, especially if it gives me more leverage over the opposition. Besides, Edgar, I hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly the most important soul in this battle. If you were, would they have let you go to Hell?"

Edgar studied the hard wood floor intently. "I suppose not. But I still don't trust you."

"I don't ask that you trust me. And I won't promise that Heaven will ever let you in. It isn't really as though you have a choice in the matter, besides Hell or this. But if you want to sign a contract with me, I'll let you keep that body afterward. Think of it, Mr. Vargas, another chance at life. A chance to actually have friends, maybe even a family."

"I think not!"

"Come now, Edgar. Give it some time. Think it over on the trip to Arizona, and let me know when the body is more comfortable."

"But then, I will never get into Heaven! You're just trying to trick me!"

A dark brow rose in an elegant arch. "What exactly was the trick there? I thought it was all pretty obvious. Yes, if you sign the contract, you will never go to Heaven. Though you might not anyway. My deal is a sure thing, while, let's face it, Heaven is a bit of a long shot."

Edgar gave no reply, his only reaction a barely discernible drooping of shoulders as well as the corners of his mouth.

"Karl will brief you on the specifics of your mission on your way out." Pepito leaned back farther into his chair, cracking his knuckles as Edgar was escorted from his office. That was one thing out of the way.

Another knock sounded, this time from the door leading into his suite, which opened before he even had time to compose himself for whatever might lurk on the other side. He sighed in relief when it was only his mother, although he hadn't exactly expected it to be Todd.

Rosemary closed the office door behind her softly before looking to Pepito with a solemn face. "Pepito," her voice was distraught, but stern, "Todd wanted to go ahead with the bath. After that he's going to need some time to recover, and I don't think it should be in a prison cell."

"Very well, Mother. Whatever you think is best." His eyes found their way to the wood of his desk. "Is he ...."

"Okay? Of course not, though he's doing an admirable job of pretending to be." Rosemary stepped closer to the desk, letting her hand fall upon her son's. "Pepito, dearest, I know that you don't want to deal with this, but you're going to have to. This ... this is a very difficult thing that Todd is going through right now, and you have to decide, right now, whether you're his friend or not. There is no room for in between in this situation."

Both of his hands, which had been clasped together in front of him on his desk, spread further apart so that he could hold the older, but slightly softer one in his own. It already seemed that there were more wrinkles than there had been the last time that he had held it, reminding him that he was getting ever closer to losing his mother, probably for good. It wasn't fair that no matter how much power he had, he still couldn't force the people that he loved to accept it, to save themselves. His grip tightened as he met her eyes again. "I still want to be his friend, even if he doesn't want to be mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Having stated that, here's some links for the Karl Rove Dance:  
> MC Rove Rappin: www.Youtube.Com/watch?vLn5RD9hcCo  
> Longer Version:www.Youtube.com/watch?vpWRSgjDEQy0


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Slight F/M and implied M/M sexual themes

A breath of hot air collected against a pane of thick, acrylic glass. Doctor Marla Zinger stepped back a little and raised a hand, stretching the fabric of her white, long-sleeved shirt to wipe it clean so that she could peer through again at the object inside: a steel dagger of about six inches in length with an Enochian engraving along it's side, nestled against a small bed of red satin.

Slowly, Pepito stepped fully into the room and rounded the four-by-six alter that separated them.  "What are you doing here?"

"Oh!" Marla jumped back as his voice, colder than before, reverberated through the mostly empty, but grandly decorated, room that happened to be located three floors under the ground level of the holding facility for what the Diablo administration dubbed the 'special cases' enemies of the state. . "I ... I was just looking for the records of the patients-er prisoners that are housed here. One of the guards told me that they were down here."

Pepito nodded. "And so they are. They're about three rooms back."

"I see. I'll just be going there then." Despite her brisk pace as she attempted to dart by Pepito , she felt his hand wrap itself firmly around her upper arm, effectively stopping her progress. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him with only a trace amount of fear marring her pale features. "I'm sorry, your Highness, did you want something?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what, Mr. President?"

His grip on her arm tightened as his eyes narrowed at the woman. "Don't play games with me, Marla. I always win. I think you know what I'm asking."

"About Jay? Oh, er, Todd? I had no reason to believe that it would concern you. And I have a responsibility to respect the privacy of my patients."

"Yes, but you also have a responsibility to me. And to report any breaches in my laws." He grit out the words, but released her arm all the same. "The prisoners are not full citizens and they do not have the right to privacy. If you ever come across anything like this again, I want to hear about it. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. I understand now."

"Good." He took a deep breath to compose himself as he stepped a few paces back from Marla before letting the same breath out in the form of a weary sigh. It wasn't her that he was upset with."You may carry on."

"Thank you." Marla gave him a respectful nod, then headed for the door, where she lingered for a few seconds, unsure. "Mr. President, if I may, I ... I would like to apologize for my earlier words, for saying that it didn't concern you."

"It's fine."

"No. I didn't understand before ... how much he meant to you."

His first instinct was still to deny that Todd really did mean so much to him. Over the years he had gotten very good at burying insecurities and weaknesses of any kind, so that wasn't very surprising. But Marla already knew the truth. Like his mother, she had born witness to the scene in his bathroom just a few hours earlier. "I said it's fine, Marla. It's fine."

"If you don't mind my asking, how do you know him?" She took a few steps back into the room, one hand still griping the door frame as if insuring her an easy escape if she should need it.

"He was-is my friend. We grew up together."

"Oh. How did ...."

"It's a long story, one that I'm in no mood to tell at the moment." Pepito studied the shiny marble floor in front of him before letting his eyes roam once again to the center piece of the room. It struck him as slightly tacky that this room was constantly in a museum-like level of upkeep instead of a clinical level of practical usefulness, which would surely be more appropriate and to the point. But, as his father had said, the people needed their rituals.

"Ah. I'm sorry, Mr. President."

"Pepito. My name is acceptable in private. And don't be sorry," he paused to look her way, giving her a small smile, "just stop talking about it."

"Oh. Alright. Pepito." A brief smile tugged at the corners of her own lips as she moved closer, her muscles relaxing more as her grip released the frame. As she reached his side, her gaze fell back upon the display case that held the dagger. "What is it?"

"Karl didn't tell you in the briefing?" He frowned again, frustrated in his adviser's seemingly falling degree of professionalism. The old demon had been in the business for too long. If he hadn't been a tutor and such a useful political asset years back, Pepito would fire him. Hell, maybe he still would.

"No. It might have been a residual effect of the sedative that I administered to him this morning, but he did seem to be in a quite a hurry."

"I see. Well, in light of your recent promotion, you now have level two security clearance, which you've obviously already been given the codes for," he looked to the computerized lock on door at this, "meaning that what I am about to tell you must remain within the inner circle of the initiated."

"Of course."

"You do know why these prisoners are here, correct?"

"Yes. Before, at the work camp, I knew that there were special prisons for those who were found to exhibit possible supernatural powers, so the rest was pretty easy to guess. And Karl did tell me that we suspect that one of these prisoners might eventually become the next host for the Christ spirit."

"Very good." At least Karl had done something right. "That much is correct. But once the Christ is incarnated, it can not simply be killed by killing the host. It would simply choose another, which is what makes this whole situation rather tricky. That is why we need the daggers."

"Daggers?"

"Yes. This blade, along with several others, was forged from steal that was made from the iron of the Lance of Longinus, otherwise known by any number of ridiculously clichéd names such as the Holy Lance and the Spear of Destiny. There is one like it in every dungeon for the potentials. Through the ages, it has been given power through the actions of the men who held it and the belief of those who sought or feared it. It is arrogance, pride, greed. It is all of those sins that make men, and women, great. And, most importantly, it is betrayal. Betrayal of the Christ by humanity."

She nodded. "But it won't kill him?"

"No. As I've said, that would do little good. What it will do is keep him subdued until we can lock him away somewhere safe, forever. And then there will be no one significant who can challenge my and my father's reign." He paused to let the enormity of the implications set in. "So, at these facilities, subjects are continuously monitored. When the Christ emerges, the signs will be evident. If the new host is discovered on your watch, you are to alert me at once."

"Yes, Mr.-Pepito. I will certainly do that."

"It won't be a problem for you? Even after what you said at the camp about your pledge?"

"My oath as a doctor means that I can't personally do harm to those in my care. It doesn't mean that I won't cooperate with your laws." At his pleased disposition, her smile grew even more as she took carefully measured steps into his personal space. "As I said at the camp, you have my allegiance. My complete devotion."

Pepito's body tensed as her hand made contact with his lower arm, where his white shirt had been rolled up to expose tan skin, before trailing short, well groomed nails up and under the sleeve, near his biceps. He forced himself to relax. Meeting her intense gaze with his own, he hoisted her up and onto the alter, where her black skirt road up to her hips, legs spreading to encircle his back, pulling him closer as their lips crashed together in a none-too-gentle kiss.

It wasn't that he was really surprised by her actions or the wanton tone of her voice. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence with followers that he allowed this close, and he was pretty sure that they had both seen this coming since before Marla had so much as been hired. But as his hand ran up her inner thigh, ripping the lacy panties a little to get to the moist warmth within, he felt the heat that had started to build in his abdomen turn sour.

Pushing back on her shoulder, he took a deep breath to make sure that he wasn't about to throw up as memories from Todd's ordeal flooded back into his mind. "I ... I'm sorry, Marla. I seem to be a little ... ill." He gave her the best smile he could muster under such conditions.

Marla let her legs rest on the table that would now have to be cleaned again. She nodded at his words, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. "I understand."

"You think I can take a rain check?"

"Of course." She smiled a little sarcastically. "I live but to serve you, my liege."

Pepito laughed a little as he helped her off the alter, watching her pull the skirt back down to knee length. "Then I think you might be in the wrong camp, my dear."

"Oh, I highly doubt that." She dusted herself off, even though there was probably no dust to be found in the room. "Well, I guess I'll see you around. Call me if you need anything. And I do mean anything."

He doubted it too. If he remembered correctly, Marla's smooth, toned legs had been covered in pants when they landed earlier that day. Satanists were always looking for ways to gain advantage using their varying assets, and from what he could tell, Marla was no exception. He smirked at the wink she left him with before heading back through the enormous backyard to the main building. The long way back, without powers or golf carts was preferable when you were trying to put off talking to someone.

Pepito had hoped that Todd might be asleep again by the time he returned, seeing as how he had managed to stay away for a good few hours, but, despite his mother's claim that he was still in the presidential quarters, he saw no sign of him in the living room or in the bedroom.

"Todd? Todd!" He cursed lowly to himself as he retraced his steps, as if there was some possible way that he could have missed him, looking in the bathroom, the small kitchenette that connected with the living room, and making sure that the door to his office was locked. He was just about to question the two guards on duty outside his door when he heard the balcony door sliding open.

"Here. I'm here!"

"Oh," Pepito sighed as he walked a little too briskly out onto the balcony attached to his bedroom, "I thought that maybe you had tied all the bed sheet in the closet together and made another run for it."

 

Todd stopped in the midst of turning back around to face the yard, which far surpassed the one that he and Pepito had played in as children, to raise a dark brow at the other...before remembering that such things currently hurt. He winced. "I hadn't thought of that. But don't worry; I don't think I'm going anywhere with a sprained ankle. It's just been a while since I've seen the stars."

"Oh. Uh. You probably shouldn't be putting any pressure on it so soon." Pepito's eyes roamed down to find Todd's ankle warped in a fresh bandage, and mostly hidden beneath the leg of silk charmeuse pajama bottoms that were just a tad too big for him. He had apparently been dressed in Pepito's clothes, but he decided not to mention it. The situation was already uncomfortable enough.

"I'm not." Todd leaned further onto the railing, lifting the sprained leg a little off the floor to prove it, before shrugging as he let it back down. "Well, not really."

"How long have you been out here? Have you eaten? "

"Not too long." Todd allowed himself to look back out into the night. Before prison camp, he had never anticipated a time when he would look back fondly upon all those nights that he had spent on his parent's roof with a crowbar, stargazing and hoping that the aliens wouldn't take his reprieve from the scary neighbor man or the little ghost girl as an invitation. "And yeah, I have. Uh, your mom said to tell you that your dinner is in the fridge. Steak, I think."

Pepito nodded, surprised at how causal, and calm, their interaction was. At least on his own part, that calm was somewhat forced. He was trying hard not to incite anymore hostility for the moment. Taking a few steps forward, he leaned on the railing to Todd's right himself, letting his gaze dart from the professionally styled foliage that surrounded them, to the tall, horribly white fence that closed off the prison for the special cases, hiding it from sight.

A silence, part genial, part awkward, seemed to wedge itself between them as they took in the moonless night. Pepito sighed. The new moon reminded him of Marla and her advance. This time of the lunar cycle was his favorite for bedding women. It was just so perfectly blasphemous, so hot. And he had always had an affinity for blood ... which, he thought, was possibly about to make him sick again.

Another deep breath and Pepito looked away from the sky, to where Todd's hand gripped the railing, not far from his own. If his own reaction to the memories was this bad, it must have been near unbearable for Todd. Fighting off a sudden urge to cover the hand with his own, he pushed himself back into a standing position. "Let's go back inside. I think I need a drink."

Todd frowned at the order, light as it was given, when it pulled him out of his momentary escape from the present reality, reminding him that he was still a captive, no matter how luxurious and nostalgic the cage. Still, remembering how easy it was to anger Pepito these days, he slipped the crutch that Doctor Zinger had left him earlier under his right arm, turning around to walk through the open glass door when the other gestured for him to go first.

In the kitchenette, Pepito accessed the small bar that resided underneath the open counter, which doubled as a table and looked straight into the living room, where Todd was currently sitting on his couch. He was flipping half-heartedly through a recent news magazine that he had found on the coffee table, no doubt discovering things that he had missed out on over the last year, if he was really paying attention to it. Pepito noted that he looked a little dazed as he poured two short glasses three-quarters of the way full with single malt scotch, ducking back down to add something extra to the second glass.

"Here."

Todd looked up from the magazine, amazed, and in some ways horrified, at how fast some aspects of American culture seemed to have changed, and how much others had not, to see a tan hand holding out drink the color of good maple syrup. Too bad he knew it wasn't going to taste that way. He took it anyway, giving Pepito a half curious look. "So, am I sinful enough to drink now?"

Smiling a little at Todd's sad attempt at humor, Pepito shook his head. He suspected that, given the slight tremble of his voice, there really was some underlying insecurity. Under other circumstances, he might have exploited it, but the thought of Todd blaming himself for what had happened to him in the camp on any level was just too disgusting. "No, but don't worry; I'll be here to keep an eye on things. I'm surprised you still remember that."

Taking a deep gulp of the scotch, Todd coughed a little, both at Pepito's word's and because the drink tasted like malted smoke and burned like fire on the way down. When he looked back up to see Pepito taking a seat in one of the two chairs that faced the couch at an angle from the other side of the coffee table, he felt the fiery sensation warm his whole body as the substance traveled through his veins, bringing the blood to the surface of his skin. It didn't help that along with the lecture he had received about how only true sinners could be trusted to properly manage sins, even ones as minor as drunkenness, he had also remembered the events that had transpired once they had actually been drunk. But the whiskey blush was a good cover ... maybe. "Yeah, well, I remember a lot of things."

Shifting uneasily in the chair, Pepito tried to think of something to say to that that wouldn't be quite as insensitive as his earlier 'floor show' comment in the bathroom. Pursing his lips, he titled his glass to one side, then the other, watching the scotch coat the inner walls as the aroma drifted up before allowing three fingers to tap its side in a repeating rhythm. When had he gotten so bad at this?

Todd sipped the alcohol a little slower, still grimacing at its taste, but enduring it under the, probably false, hopes that it would make the pain and stress a little less. After sitting in silence for a few long minutes, staring into his glass, he finally spoke again, this time more seriously. "Pepito?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me what's going to happen to me, for real this time."

"I've actually been thinking about that, and I've decided that you should stay here."

"Here?"

"Yes, at this estate. I'll have Mother fix a room for you tomorrow, but understand that you'll have to be monitored by security."

Todd's eyes found his drink again and then the magazine. That was much more than he had expected. He knew that he should be thankful, and he was, but he couldn't just stay there, living in comfort, oblivious to the plight of everyone else who suffered in the camps and on the streets. He looked back up slowly, nervously. "Don't take this the wrong way because I really appreciate that, but what if I don't want to stay here?"

Pepito frowned a little irritably as his grip on the glass tightened. It figured that Todd would rather run back to his enemies. "And why wouldn't you want to stay here, Todd? Because if your problem isn't with the decor, then you might want to keep it to yourself and accept my decision, and it is my decision, gracefully."

Slumping down a little in his seat, Todd shook his head, but didn't divert his eyes from the other. "So I'm not allowed to leave here?"

"Of course not. You're still a prisoner of the state until you accept the mark and I decide to pardon your crimes. And I shouldn't have to tell you that your little infatuation with a group that likes to make attempts on my life doesn't make a pardon very likely."

"How many times do I have to say that I'm not a member of the Resistance? I don't want to kill anyone. I just-"

"You just want to help the people who treated you like shit growing up? You just want to undermine all of my progress as best you can, even when it includes setting dangerous criminals free, even when it means abiding the kinds of conditions that you have? Well, that's too bad because, one way or another, it's not going happen again."

Todd bit into his lower lip before he realized exactly what he was doing, flinching when it yielded more pain and the taste of blood, near the end of Pepito's reply. It was amazing that, even under the circumstances, he was the one who felt guilty. It didn't change his opinion on what Pepito was doing, but it did touch him that, even given the claim that he had betrayed him, it sounded like this new arrangement was about his protection as much as it was about some kind of punishment or protection of the state. "... I missed you too."

"What was that?" Partly narrowed eyes widened in the change of direction that the conversation had suddenly taken.

Clearing his throat, Todd spoke again, this time in a higher volume, "You said that you missed me earlier. I missed you too."

Standing, Pepito paced back and forth a few times in front of the coffee table. "Todd, you ...." He stopped before the question came out as he realized that he could ask himself the same thing. Over the years, he had thought of getting back in touch with his best friend, but there had always been so many obligations to attend, and by then his pride had been more than happy to get in the way. Plus, there was always the lingering awkwardness of their more recent meetings. "You can sleep in my bed tonight. I'll take the couch."

"Oh. Thanks." Todd let the disappointment slip out in his own voice. He didn't know what he had expected, but Pepito actions had seemed to be leading up to something more substantial.

Making his way around the low table to take a seat upon said couch, Pepito raised a brow at his tone. "You're getting the better deal with the bed, but if you'd rather-"

"No. The bed is fine. Really." This time Todd even forced a small smile, which was returned soon after as Pepito raised his still full glass of scotch in a toast.

"Good. To your health ... Amigo." The last word, which had become more of a term of endearment for the other over their childhood years in addition to its causal Spanish meaning, was rusty and stiff with years of disuse, but Pepito plowed on, clinking his glass against Todd's and downing the contents in one go.

A chill ran down Todd's spine as he finished off his near empty drink, and he looked down at the few drops left in the glass, suddenly feeling suspicious ... and dizzy. The glass fell to the couch, bouncing once before Pepito's hand sat it on a side table beside his own, and Todd leaned back into the couch, his hand on his forehead, breathing harder and trying to stop his mind from swimming or making any more Pepito clones. "Pepito ...."

Pepito caught Todd in his arms when he fell toward his side of the sofa, griping him loosely to avoid putting too much pressure on the bruises. He smirked when he saw that his eyes were already fluttering closed, his pulse rate slowing again, with minimal struggle. "Sorry, Todd, but I don't really like you in black and blue."

His hand fisted in the sleeve of Pepito's shirt, but it was already too late. He couldn't hold off the drugs that had apparently lurked within the drink. He heard Pepito tell him not to be afraid, and strangely, or not so strangely considering the half-demon's powers of persuasion, he really wasn't. The last thing he felt was a finger gently running under his bruised left eye. It felt ... soothing.  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Not quite explicit M/M sexual content

"So," Pepito paused to slug down another shot of tequila that he had just poured from the quarter-full bottle that rested on the counter-sized windowsill in Todd's dorm room at California State, not even bothering to chase it with a shot of sangrita this time, "tell me about this girl. Do you like her?"

"Pepe, if I didn't like her, I wouldn't be going out with her." Todd shook his head at the nonsensical question before swallowing his own shot down. He cringed at the strong taste, immediately drinking a second shot of the spicy red drink that would replace the alcohol with tomatoes, peppers and oranges. It was a strange mixture to be sure, but it did the trick.

"Yeah, but do you love her?"

"Love? I don't know." He shook his head again, smiling a little at how serious, if drunk, his friend was starting to sound. "I haven't even known her a whole year yet, and love is ... I barely know what love is."

"But you love me, right?"

Suddenly the sounds of the small TV that had been drawing part of his attention over the last hour were completely drowned out. It wasn't really that strange of a question, in the context that Pepito probably meant it, but they had never actually said it quite so bluntly before. "Ummm, well, yeah. I mean, you are my best friend."

"Good." Pepito scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Todd's shoulder to pull him in for a small hug. "Then come to Yale with me."

Todd sighed, but leaned into the hug all the same ... a little too much, actually. His alcohol level probably wasn't far below Pepito's, even though he hadn't drank quite as much. "Pepito, we've been over this."

"I know, Amigo, but it's so lonely without you. And I probably won't be able to come back next summer. You don't want me to be lonely, do you?" His hand ran up and down the Todd's back, seemingly unconsciously.

It made him feel a little guilty because he knew that on some level Pepito was being completely serious, but he still had to laugh at the pouting and the whiny tone that contrasted so much with his normal demeanor. "No, but-"

Pepito frowned at the laugh, his hand moving to Todd's face, tilting it to look into his own. His eyes were red instead of brown, either from drinking enough to let his guard down or from too much emotion. "Really, Todd, don't you miss me at all?"

The closeness threatened to make Todd blush, but that feeling was overrode by another one. Now he really did feel guilty. And kind of sad because he really did. "You know I do, but-"

Before he could get the words out, he felt another pair of lips on his own. This time it wasn't a quick peck like they had exchanged in high school on rare occasions and a little more often over that summer, the summer of their freshman year in college. This time it was longer, wetter, warmer. When Pepito pulled back a little, Todd felt a burning in his cheeks that seemed to spread through his whole body. They were still in a loose embrace, faces mere inches apart, and he was surprised to see that Pepito's cheeks were a little red as well. Pepito hardly ever blushed. He smiled, leaning forward without so much as a thought as to what he was really doing to press his own lips against the other's as his hand found the shoulder farthest from his body to pull him even closer.

In their inebriated states, that was all it took. The next thing he knew, Pepito's tongue was in his mouth and they were exchanging a series of sloppy, but passionate kisses. They fell back onto the bed, to the sound of two shot glasses clinking together on the mattress while another thudded to the ground, in a tangle of limbs that took entirely too long to sort out before Pepito finally climbed on top with a victorious chuckle.

"So tell me," with his hands on either side of Todd's head, just above his shoulders, Pepito leaned down into his space, giving him a look that was half serious, half playful, "you've done this with that girl, correct?"

"Which girl?" Todd blinked up at him stupidly, feeling the full effects of the alcohol in the wake of the adrenaline rush that had pumped it faster through his system.

"Oh, you know ... that girl ... Ginny? Janey? That girl. Unless there's more than one." He shot Todd a sly smile with the arch of a brow at the last comment.

"Ohhh, her. Jamie. There's only one Jamie ... except when I'm drunk or sleep deprived ... I think."

"Psh. Amigo, you're such a light-weight."

He nodded. "That's why I never drink. That and the taste."

"Except now."

"Uhum. Except now. It's all your fault, you know ... your idea, your booze, your ... your eyes are actually kind of pretty, hypnotic. Did you know that?"

"Heh. As the Second Coming of Damnation, I suppose I can accept that along with all the other things that are my doing. But where were we? I asked you something about-oh! So you and ... what's her name?"

"Jamie?"

Pepito nodded a little too emphatically at the reminder. "You and Jamie have done this before, right?"

"Ummm, this? What is this?"

"... I don't know ... this." Closing the rest of the space between them, Pepito kissed him again, even more thoroughly this time. "So, you've done this?"  
  
"Yes."

Pepito nodded at his reply, obviously having expected that answer as his hand had already made its way halfway up his shirt. He trailed soft and clumsy kisses down Todd's neck, finding his collar bone, which elicited an airy moan from Todd as he sucked on it. "How about this?"

"Y-yeah," Todd answered feebly, feeling almost helpless as the buttons on his shirt undid themselves one-by-one without the demonic young man on top of him ever having to pause his ministrations for anything but speech. Fingers traced his nipple as the warm mouth moved down his chest to meet them, leaving more little kisses in its wake. He gasped when a tongue ran across the path that the fingers had left just before Pepito's mouth enclosed the nipple, sucking and nipping and making him grip the sheets of his college-issued twin bed.

Pepito's right hand pined Todd's shoulder to the mattress as he squirmed beneath the touches, accidentally increasing the already building friction between them. "Do you like this, Squee?"

Shaking his head slowly in the affirmative, Todd pulled Pepito back up for another kiss, his arms locking around his neck as their bodies melted together. The friction continued to increase, and he soon found himself moaning into the kisses when their erections pressed together through two pairs of jeans.

He felt Pepito smile against his mouth in reaction, and then his left hand was stroking him through his clothes before moving up to unbutton his pants. "What about this?"

His own hands made their way up the back of Pepito's shirt, feeling the hot skin underneath and leaving little needy scratches that would probably sting in the shower. He moaned again when Pepito bit his neck in retaliation. "Mhmmm ... what about what?"

"Have you done this with her?" The zipper was pulled down so that the hand could slip inside his pants, easily finding the opening in Todd's underwear once that task had been accomplished.

Todd bit his lip to muffle his whimpering as the hand tightened around him, but the surge of pleasure was followed swiftly by a wave of guilt as the words seemed to sink in deeper this time. He leaned back, out of the kiss. "Pepito, wait."

"Shh," Pepito kissed him lightly, slowing down, but not stopping his actions as he whispered against Todd's mouth, "Don't worry, Squee. I know what I'm doing. I'm just going to make you feel really, really good, okay?" He gave him another kiss, this one deeper, as his hand moved faster.

For a few spectacular moments, Todd was lost to the embrace, the kissing, the building sensations. But then it all came tumbling down as the memory smacked him in the face again. "Pepito stop, please. I can't." This time he pushed a shoulder for emphasis.

Pepito laughed, pinning the offending hand to the bed. "Relax, Amigo. It's only sodomy."

Todd shook his head, regretting it when the room kept spinning long after his head had stopped moving. "Pepe, it's not. It's really not. I can't."

Pepito seemed taken aback by the seriousness in his voice, finally releasing him and sitting up. "You're right. I guess with me it's not."

 When he rolled off the bed, clamoring for his black hoodie, Todd sat up, making a sad attempt at returning his pants to the upright and buttoned position. "Pepi-"

"No. It's alright, Todd. I understand." His voice broke just a little as he pulled the large shirt over his head, keeping the the hood up, probably so anyone else with the sight would be less likely to notice his eyes. "I ... I have to go."

Todd heaved himself off the bed when Pepito opened the door. Ignoring the fact that his pants had fallen down around his ankles, he stumbled forward over the few feet of bare floor that his dorm had to offer, almost falling when he felt the Pepito's arms around his shoulders. "Wait, please. I'm sorry. Don't ... don't be sad, Pepe."

Pulling Todd to his feet, and then completely out of the pants, Pepito led him back to the bed. "I'm okay, Amigo. I just need to be alone for a while. You understand that, right?" A sarcastic laugh slipped his lips. "Stay in bed until you can walk, alright? And don't drink the rest of my tequila, cause I'm coming back for it."

"Promise?"

"Of course. That's the good shit."

But 'the good shit' had still been there two days later, during Todd's dorm inspection.

  
"Todd? Hey, are you awake?"

The world seemed to shift back and forth, making him think that maybe he was still drunk. He opened his eyes, surprised to realize that he was in bed: Pepito's bed. The aforementioned was standing over him, fully dressed. "Huh?"

Pepito took back the hand that he had used to shake Todd's shoulder. "Good morning, Todd. How are you feeling?"

"What ... what did you do to me?" Todd sat up, rubbing his temples with his hands. That dream had been entirely too coherent. More than that, it hadn't really been a dream. It had been a memory, as far as he could tell, perfectly relived. "What was in that drink?"

"Just a little sleeping aid." Pepito shrugged, smirking a little. "I didn't want you to struggle."

"Struggle during what exactly?"

Pepito knew he should have chosen his words more carefully when Todd's face went pale. "Todd-"

"No! Don't." Todd scrunched himself up at the head of the bed before throwing the covers back and rising to his not quite steady feet. "I just ... I can't trust you at all anymore, can I?"

Pepito rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd already decided that much. Isn't that why you just started working against me without even bothering to to talk to me first, to tell me what you thought about my policies?"

"Oh, I don't think you really want to hear what I think about it. And don't even try to turn this around on me. Now, what did you do to me?"

Fighting back a strong urge to voice more hostility, Pepito simply crossed his arms over his chest, realizing too late that he probably resembled his mother in doing so. "Look in the mirror."

Eyes widening in further dread, Todd turned to the wall length mirror behind him. "What ..." The bruises, the cuts, even many of the scars, were all gone. His eyes weren't even puffy anymore. He had been so stressed before then that he hadn't even noticed! And, of course, he was standing with his full weight upon his right ankle.

"The phrase you're looking for is 'thank you'. And you're welcome."

Todd shook his head. "No, I don't think that is exactly the phrase, Pepito. You can't just ... Look, I don't appreciate being drugged."

"Yes, but under the circumstances, I don't think you would have appreciated being conscious either. You didn't seem very comfortable in the bathroom with me before, and I'm afraid that we did need to remove your clothes for the healing process."

"Well, you should've asked me! And who is 'we'?" He swallowed a tight knot in his throat, knowing that his face was probably turning even redder at the thought of people seeing him naked, not because of the nakedness itself, but because of them seeing the very injuries that had been healed. It was a testament to a deep and personal level of pain and humiliation that no one else should be allowed to infiltrate.

"You would have said no."

"I should have had the right to say no! Why can't I heal the regular way if that's what I want?"

"Oh, is that it!" Pepito threw his hands into the air in annoyance, walking closer to where Todd still stood beside the mirror. "Is that the reason for all of this? You just love your precious victim mentality so much that you'd rather be in pain than admit that I might not be quite as much of a monster as the Resistance says. Do you want me to take it back? Because I can, Todd, but ..." he paused in both speech and movement when Todd backed up against the wall, eyes wide with panic and moist with tears even as they still managed a meagerly defiant glare. "... but I won't."

Todd slid down the wall to sit on the floor, watching through watery eyes as Pepito approached him slowly, like he was some feral cat that might try to dart away into oncoming traffic at any second. He felt like burying his face in his hands, but fought the urge, instead settling for staring down at his crossed arms that held his knees against his chest, effectively wrapping himself up in a protective, semi-ball shape. At least it didn't hurt anymore.

"Todd," Pepito sighed reluctantly, kneeling down to his level before daring to lay a hand gently on one of his arms. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean that. And I didn't mean to scare you. It's just ... you're so ... I just don't have enough patience anymore."

Suppressing a small sniffle, Todd wiped the side of his face on his arm to get rid of any tears before looking up a little timidly. "You really need to work on that."

Sending him a weak smile, Pepito pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it over. "I know."

Todd wiped his eyes softly at first, then harder when he realized that he could do so without immediate regret. "Thank you."

"Keep it."

"No, I mean, well, thanks for this too, but I meant for healing me." He looked back down for a moment. "I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful," he smiled a little sarcastically to himself, "or that I like being a victim. I just wish you had given me some kind of notice at least. I know I overreacted, but sometimes I can't help it, and lately ...."

"I know. I didn't think it through, and I'm ... well, I'm not used to anyone defying me anymore. I am sorry that I handled it so badly. You ... I really meant it when I said that no one will harm you here."

Looking back up, Todd gave Pepito a small smile that he hoped didn't look as hurt and bitter as it felt to himself. There was something about having someone that he cared about, and who claimed to care about him, disregard his free will so easily that really stung.

"You believe me, don't you? Amigo?"

He nodded, forcing a horse 'yes' afterward to satisfy the other. But did he really mean it? Even he was unsure, but it was hard to say no when Pepito sounded so honest, like the wrong answer might really hurt him. At least that meant that Pepito wouldn't sense right away that he was lying.

Pepito gave the arm that his hand rested on a light squeeze at the answer before standing up and offering Todd said hand. "Are you hungry? There's brunch down stairs."

Carefully talking the hand, Todd realized that he actually was kind of hungry as he let himself be pulled to his feet. Though maybe hungry was an understatement as he hadn't had a decent meal since the breakout aside from the soup the previous night. "I guess I am, but ...." He looked down at the pajamas that he was still wearing, a little embarrassed despite the fact that there was no way that someone in his situation could be expected to supply themselves with appropriate attire.

Eyes following Todd's, Pepito waved his concern away, but still lead him to his closet on the other side of the room. "Since this is my home, technically, there isn't a dress code for residents, but if you want, I'm sure most of my clothes will fit you well enough for now." He paused to open the walk-in door, surveying the large array of garments, most of which he had never worn before. There was a closet just like it in every one of his houses, but this one had more causal wear and a few things that his mother had obviously added. "Take your pick. The other door at the end of the closet will take you to the bathroom if you want a quick shower. I'll be in the living room when you're finished."

Todd stared into the tightly packed closet that was really a small room, a little overwhelmed. It had been a year or so since he had picked out his own clothes, and even then he had always had a price limit and usually a store assistant to help him out with the more dressy things. "Uh, Pepito?"

"Yes?"

"I don't really know what I'm doing, at all."

"That's okay." Retracing his steps, Pepito picked out an outfit while Todd cleaned up in the bath room. He choose one of the semi-casual, still somewhat classy, but very much not his taste, outfits that his mother had bought, thinking that giving it to Todd permanently would really be killing two birds, preferably doves, with one stone.

When he was dressed, they made their way through sparsely populated hallways and then to an elevator to go to the bottom floor. As it was a weekend, most of the usual staff had gone home, leaving them alone in the shaft.

"Who else has seen me naked?"

"What?"

"You said 'we', before, when I was healed. I was just ... that could be kind of awkward, you know?"

"Not really. You have nothing to be ashamed of." Pepito smiled when that assurance made Todd blush; seemingly the opposite of its intended outcome, but an expected one none-the-less.

"But who were they? Am I not allowed to know or something?"

"No, you can know, I suppose. They're two of the people you asked me about yesterday: they were removed from the camps when they were found to have certain abilities, and they later decided to work for my side. They won't be at brunch, though, so you shouldn't worry." To be honest Pepito was a little ashamed himself for having enlisted their help. There was a time when he could have repaired all of the damage himself, but he hadn't really practiced his healing skills much since he left for college, probably because he had left behind the main reason that he had learned to begin with.

The elevator doors opened and he and they stepped out, Todd following him through the large mansion and to the dinning room, obviously taking in the pastel surroundings.  
There were already three people at the decked out table and several servants, some of them androids, flitting in and out of the room when they arrived. Todd took a deep breath, glad that, so far, he didn't seem too on edge around the 'artificial' people. He already knew two of the brunchers: Rosemary and Marla.

"Todd! Darling, you look so much better!" Rosemary stood up to greet them, giving Todd a tentative hug, which returned the hug somewhat timidly. Afterwards she hugged Pepito too. "Good morning, dear."

Pepito hugged her back, even though he was a bit rigid, smirking when she whispered 'Good job' into his ear. If she had seen the spectacle in his room, she would probably be singing a very different tune. It was just another example of how she didn't understand about the ends justifying the means.

When his mother finally released him, Pepito returned the smile that Marla was sending his way before letting his eyes land on the woman beside her. Her name was Lucille, and she was a forty-something ex-nun that his mother had taken a liking to. Sometimes he thought it was more than a liking, but that was unlikely as they were both such 'good, Christian women'. Of course, if Lucille was really such a Christian, she probably wouldn't have instigated sex with him of all people the year before. As Todd had so kindly pointed out long ago, being with him was much worse than simply being with another person of the same sex.

Todd took a seat beside Rosemary, accepting her offer of a brand muffin, fruit and some juice as he was introduced to her friend.

Lucille leaned toward the table to beam at the younger man from around Rosemary, who was sitting between them. "Why hello, Todd! It's so nice to finally meet you. You know, I've heard so much about you and seen so many pictures of you and Pepito growing up that it almost feels like we're old friends."

Smiling politely, Todd nibbled his muffin, seeing Pepito shrug across from him out of the corner of his eye. "That's very nice of you. And it's nice to meet you too." Actually, it was a little weird to meet her. She looked to be only ten or fifteen years old than him, but acted as though he was the child of a distant relative that had suddenly come to live with her. Though, aside from the child part, that sort of made sense.

"And you Pepito," she continued, "you haven't come to visit us in months! Why, you're dear mother has been missing you something fierce."

When brunch was finished, Pepito spent the rest of the day helping his mother set up a room for Todd, deciding to put him on the third floor as he was closer to being a permanent resident than a guest. He had also established some basic rules for his confinement. He was allowed supervised access to the estate library, but not to the Internet, which still hadn't been completely purged of terrorist groups as of yet. He was allowed to borrow books from the library and to have a personal computer in his own room, provided, of course, that it did not have access to the Internet or to the Diablo government network. His room was subject to search and he was to wear a locked anklet with a tracking device at most times.

After that, Todd had gone to the library, and he had spent a few hours making phone calls to his office in New York and in more teleconferences. It was now 7 PM, and he was in the middle of a meeting with Karl, though it was really more like being lectured by Karl regarding things that he would rather not know or admit. It reminded him of his youth, but not in any way that he cared to be reminded.

"Mr. President," the adviser continued in a louder tone, hoping to stress the importance of what he was saying, "I realize that this matter may be complicated by the fact that you and he were once close, but you've got to accept the evidence before you. Those aural readings were taken after he was-erm ... 'attacked' at the camp. And they were still highly indicative of the traits we're looking for. The suffering of most humans, after such an experience, will make their auras draw in and fade. Do you know what that means?"

"Of course I know what that means, Karl. I'm not a kid anymore. You get overexcited about every one of those people, even though you know damn well that there is no way to tell for sure until the incarnation."

"Yes, we can't tell for sure, but if his aura goes up even higher as he recovers, well, that would be ... significant. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes." Pepito let out a defeated sigh. "Fine. When he's better we'll have him tested again. But until then he will remain here. And I don't want him finding out about this. Is that clear?"

"Of course."

"Good. Then this matter is settled for now. Any reports from Mr. Vargas?"

"Yes, sir. He arrived in Arizona last night and has begun the questioning of witnesses of the breakout as well as camp personnel in regards to rule violations."

"Any leads in either case yet?"

"Nothing concrete yet, but it shouldn't be long. He's located the android with the call number that you gave me. The model is being scanned for information related to both events, and we should have it by tonight."

"Excellent. That will be all, Karl."

The elder demon held back an irritable sigh at being dismissed like a servant. "Then I am released from duty for the night?"

"Oh, yeah, whatever. But leave your phone on in case you're needed." When Karl closed the door, Pepito looked down at the copy of the aural scan, tracing the halo signature with his thumb. "No. It can't be." He shook his head at what he wanted to be the lack of possibility, but even as he did, he knew that what Karl had said was true. There was a chance that the Christian 'God' would choose Todd for his next host, but he wasn't prepared to let that happen. He wasn't going to let that happen.

"You can't have him." He griped the document tightly, making creases on the edges. He had told Todd in high school, after the boy had made his decision, that he would stop trying to lure him to the dark side, and he had, in so far as he could help it. But this-this was just too much, too sadistically ironic. He had to stop it, but how?  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sangrita: "a tomato juice based drink that is often used as a cocktail mixer or drunk alongside tequila as a chaser. Not to be confused with "sangria," a fruit and wine concoction, this beverage is a tangy mixture of tomato and orange juices, usually spiked with hot chiles and lime juice. It may sound odd in flavor, but sangrita is considered the perfect accompaniment to good quality tequila, like an aged añejo or a good reposado. The tequila and sangrita are poured into separate shot glasses and the two are alternately sipped, not chased. First the tequila, then the chilled sangrita. Slowly, one after the other."  
> http/en.Wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangrita
> 
> -I know nothing about the layout of the dorms at CA State. Todd's dorm is based on mine from my first year of college.
> 
> -Sodomy: "Sodomy is most commonly legally defined as any contact between the genitals of one person, and the mouth or anus of another. The word has its origins in Christianity. It is sometimes used to mean sexual deviation, though in legal contexts it is defined as above."  
> www.gaylib.com/text/clas12.htm


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Church of Satan style elitism

Pepito strolled through the left wing of the third floor hall, leaving his quarters behind to pass Lucille's, his mother's and Marla's before reaching Todd's. When his knocking received no response, he used his powers to unlock the door. Technically, he had a key card that would open any door in the estate, but it was too much hassle to keep up with it and the keys for every house he owned. Todd's new rooms were very similar to his own. They had the same basic layout, but with a few small differences. The living room was smaller and there was no balcony attached to the bedroom which might aid the other in escape. It was a little sad because he knew how much Todd like to be under the stars, but such precautions were needed.

Looking around the sparsely furnished room and seeing the lights off in the bathroom, Pepito made his way to the closed bedroom door. It had been a few days since Todd had been healed. They'd had a few more near fights and a long series of awkward moments, but he seemed to be adjusting fairly well, and, with that in mind, Pepito really needed to head back to his office in New York. He had been away, without notice, for far too long, and people were starting to speculate.

Also he had decided that the situation with Todd was making him much too erratic. Karl's paranoia, which he had applied to almost every one of the potentials in order of their discovery, was rubbing off on him. As a result, he had gotten himself so worked up that he had called Edgar in Arizona and ordered him to bring the guilty guards back to California with him instead of having them killed on the spot so that he might enact some half-baked plan based on an assumption that was pretty ridiculous when he really thought about it.

There was no way that Todd was going to be the next incarnation. He certainly hadn't come from a 'virtuous' family. He had been friends, best friends, with the Antichrist for years! And there was also an underlying and repressed vindictiveness for his parents and some of their old classmates. Todd had even told him once that his teddy bear told him to burn things, people included! Of course, he knew that Todd would never actually do anything like that, but-

He stopped with his fist in midair, ready to knock again, when he heard talking, instead pressing his palm to the door and leaning closer to make out the words.

"... just don't know what to do. I feel like I never know what to do. I know I should probably try to get away from here, but I don't know how I can anymore ... and a part of me doesn't want to. I don't," his voice broke and he paused to sniff, "I wish things didn't have to be this way. That everything wasn't so messed up."

Praying. Todd was praying.

"All of this is supposed to be fate or something, right? But that's not fair ... though, I guess fair is an unrealistic expectation. Not much in life seems to be fair."

There was a pause and then the sound of Todd shuffling around on the mattress. When the talking didn't pick up again, Pepito balled his fist more tightly than was strictly necessary, taking a few cleansing breathes before finally letting it fall against the wood of the door.

Todd started at the knocking that rang through his ears just as he was about to dose off. He sat up quickly, pushing the covers down to his waist to reveal the same pajamas that he had apparently stolen from Pepito three nights ago. "Uh, come in!"

Pepito opened the door carefully, not bothering to close it behind him as he took a few steps into the room. "Hi."

At the subdued scowl on hid face, Todd felt his body tense up. "H-hey. Is something wrong?" Usually the conflicts that the two of them got into arose through present interaction. Pepito had yet to seek him out to argue, so this probably wasn't a good sign.

"Wrong? You want 'wrong'? I've been listening at the door for the past five minutes."

"Oh. That was rude of you." His voice came out a tad shocked. As a teenager, Pepito would have at least had the decency to not mention it if he had done such a thing, or at least apologize if he did admit it.

"Yes, well, some would consider attempting to conspire with the enemy of your host in his own home fairly rude as well."

"Conspire? Seriously?" Todd bit his lip to stop himself from also commenting on the relevance and meaning of the word 'host' and how it was a better match for other words like 'guest' than 'detainee'.

"Quite seriously, I'm afraid." Pepito signed. "But I don't really feel up to another fight right now."

"Neither do I."

"Good, because it would be a shame for us to part that way when I leave."

"Leave? You're leaving?" Realizing that his voice was just a little too sad, Todd looked down at the bed sheets. He shouldn't be sad! Well, not about Pepito leaving anyway.

Taking a seat on the foot of the bed, Pepito shot him a small smile. "Well, I do have a job to do."

"I know. I just thought ...."

"Most of the important political infrastructure is based out of New York now, so that's where I need to be.

Todd nodded. "When are you going?"

"I'm scheduled for sometime tomorrow."

"Oh. Well ... are you going to come back?"

"Of course. Eventually." Pepito paused for a moment, tapping his lip in thought. He was genuinely surprised Todd was taking this so badly. Chances were that he wouldn't be able to make a longer visit for a least a month, and that was if he didn't fall back into the habit of putting it off. "Todd, you know, you could come with me, if you want."

Todd looked up with wide eyes. "Really? But I thought you didn't trust me."

"I don't. I can't. Not yet. If you come, you'll have to sign a contract promising not to attempt escape, purposely gather intelligence for the enemy or knowingly converse with the enemy."

"That means I can't pray, doesn't it?"

"Yes." There was yet another awkward pause as Todd looked back down, his expression doubtful and full of mistrust. Pepito crawled a little closer, into the space where Todd's legs would be if he hadn't taken up what was apparently a favorite position with them drawn up against his chest. He took a long twig of dark brown hair between two fingers to give in a gentle pull, deciding that he kind of liked it now that it was clean, though shorter would probably be better, more Squee-like. "Why do you do it?

Todd shook his head, freeing his hair in the process, but gave no reply.

Pepito sat back down, still in the new spot, with one leg hanging off the bed and the other propped up on the mattress so that he could rest an elbow on his knee, now determined to make some type of progress before he had to go. "Come on, Todd. I'm not trying to be an asshole. I really want to know. Please."

"Honestly?" Todd took a deep breath, letting it back out slowly before meeting Pepito's gaze again. This was probably another verbal battle just waiting to happen, but he did sound earnest. "I guess I just really need someone to talk to, to feel just a little less alone, even if they never talk back."

"Never?"

"Well, not literally. Sometimes, it feels almost like there's a presence ... like someone is listening."

Pepito leaned his head sideways into his hand, letting his mouth form a small apologetic smile. "Sorry about that."

Todd rolled his eyes, but still laughed along at the unexpected, lighthearted moment. "I mean someone besides the eavesdropping person at the door." He shrugged. "Then sometimes it just feels like I'm talking to myself, but that's still helpful, better than nothing. I guess if you want the short answer, it helps manage the stress ... kind of like how I used to talk to Shmee before he stopped talking. I don't do it to 'conspire' against you."

"I see."

"You think that it makes me weak."

"I think ... humans weren't meant to be as mentally closed off from others as you've been, and under ... extreme circumstances, copping mechanisms are ... understandable. But they're like crutches, you know. They're good when you need them, but if you use them when you don't, then you'll have problems walking on your own for the rest of your life. Religion is kind of like that with thinking. You need to be able to think for yourself."

"Pepe, I do think for myself." Todd gave him an incredulous look, though he had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised that the son of Satan was actually trying not to offend him. " And the last time I checked, you were the head of a religion."

"Not exactly the head. And Satanism doesn't tell people what to think. It teaches them how to think."

"And what not to think."

Pepito shrugged. "Only if you're counting the masses of marked citizens as members, which I don't. Most humans are always going to need to be spoon feed ideological baby food because they're naturally followers, but those kind of people don't get initiated. You know that."

"And you don't think anything is wrong with stringing all those people along?"

"No."

"Oh."

"The masses will always be lead mindlessly by someone or something, so it might as well be me. You know how they are. They're incapable of truly engaging. That's why you feel so isolated, in a crowded room even more than when there's no one else. Am I right?"

"I guess." He let out a long sigh. "Yes." That was one of the reasons that his friendship with Pepito had always been so important.

"Todd, you know, if you need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen, you can talk to me. You won't get in trouble for anything you say and I won't repeat to anyone else."

A small burst of half sarcastic laugher escaped him. "Oh, that was real subtle."

"What?" A dark brow rose.

"The 'don't pray to God, pray to me cause I'll talk back ... or more like scream and lecture you back ... thing.'"

"That's not what I meant. Well, the talking back part kind of was ... and the part where I'm actually listening instead of ignoring you while I sleep off a centuries old hangover like a macrocosm of your sorry ass parents." Pepito sighed a little irritably, but manage to keep himself under control. "Sometimes I almost think that you try my patience on purpose."

"Maybe sometimes I do."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, everything you do and say feels plastic. It's like I have to make you mad to make you really react now, even if it's negatively. It's a little like those people in the crowded room, except there's an 'on' switch, but you're at your own risk of being electrocuted." Todd let out another deep breath when Pepito remained in silence. "You wanted me to talk, right?"

"Yeah. I did. I do. I guess, with all of the roles that I'm always playing with the world, with the covens, the masses ... I just get stuck on auto sometimes."

Todd smiled sadly. "Most of the time."

"Most of the time." Pepito nodded, more disturbed by this that he was willing to let on. It seemed like he was always faking something for one reason or another. He hadn't just kicked back and been himself in so long that he was a little unsure of who 'himself' really was at this point.

"And you think that my praying or talking to myself is worse than that?" Todd posed the question as delicately as he could, not wanted to disrupt their first real, non-argumentative conversation in many years.

"I don't know. Maybe we both need someone to talk honestly with." Pepito looked up, surprised to see Todd's hand actually laying purposefully upon his own. It was the first contact that he had personally initiated since he had been found.

"I'm listening."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -"Satanism doesn't tell people what to think. It teaches them how to think." It seems like this is a direct quote (or pretty close to one) from the COS...but it's been a few years now since I read it, so hard to be 100 sure.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: offensive, dehumanizing language toward the end, minor character death, violence, mild (but somewhat disturbing) sexual tension

The next morning Pepito had insisted that Todd accompany him into town for a hair cut and a clothes fitting, claiming that it would be best to leave his mother out of the process unless Todd was going for the Brady Bunch look. He had known that the exaggeration was a paper-thin excuse that Todd would see through easily, hopefully concluding that Pepito just wanted more time with him before his plane left that night. That conclusion wouldn't be wrong exactly, but it itself was an unspoken excuse that stood firmly only because it wasn't admitted. The truth was that he did want more time with Todd, more long-term time, and that was the real point of this outing, which was now reaching its climax.

Pepito looked back, as if making sure that Todd was still behind him even though he knew that he couldn't get far with the device around his ankle if he tried. The mobile security device was currently strapped around his own wrist to insure that.

Wearily, Todd took in the cold and efficient surroundings of the local Guard Station. In the back, where they were headed, was a door marked 'Firing Range'. His pulse quickened and he wondered if Pepito really had gone completely insane in the wake of the assassination attempt as some guessed. "Pepito, why are we here? I thought you just needed to look over some paper work."

Pepito came to a stop in front of the door, turning back around to face him. "Okay, don't freak out, but I think I know what you need."

"What?" Todd's voice came out more flat and unimpressed than questioning, and then Pepito's hand was around his arm and they were going through the door. Seeing what the Pepito had been referring to, he came to a dead stop. Feeling as though his heart had just jumped up into his neck, he pulled back against the other man's grip, longing desperately to be anywhere but in the same room with the guards that had assaulted him.

Instead of letting go, Pepito pulled him closer, placing both hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes. "Todd, it's okay. They can't touch you." He gestured to the men that were chained to the mental frame lining the shooting cage by their ankles. "You're fine, alright?"

Todd shook his head, attempted to shrug off the hands, though they only came right back."W-why-"

"Because you need closure to get over what they did to you." He took a gun from a guard who worked there, pulling Todd closer to the range before placing it in his hand. When he only looked down at the gun and back to him in confusion, he took both of his hands, positioning them around the gun so that it wouldn't backfire before taking a few steps back. It looked like he really hadn't been exaggerating when he had said that his role with the Resistance people had been a nonviolent one. "Go ahead, Todd. Make them sorry."

Todd's hands tightened around the gun, but he made sure that his finger wasn't on the trigger. He had always been a little afraid of guns, and his childhood neighbor, Johnny, had worked hard to make sure that he generally disliked them as well. But he guessed they were a more humane form of killing ... if you knew what you where doing, which he definitely didn't. Besides that, those men hardly resembled the ones that had tortured him at the camp. Oh, they were the same men; there was no mistaking that, but they were currently bruised and begging, two of them actually on their knees, for mercy. Mercy that they sure as hell hadn't found it worth while to bestow on anyone else.

He let the gun rest completely in his right hand, as casually as he thought he was capable of, as he took a deep breath and a few more steps forward, facing the men down, fighting that part of himself that still wanted to run away. "Just tell me why."

"Why?" One of the men on his knees, a red-head, looked up. The other two merely continued to beg.

"Why you did what you did to him." Pepito stepped closer then as well, rolling his eyes at how stupid some humans really were. It was almost surprising that the species hadn't wiped itself out long ago without any need for outside help. He knew that Edgar had told them, probably at great length, what they had done to be arrested.

The red-haired man kept his eyes on Todd,  obviously even more afraid of facing his leader's anger than Todd's revenge. "Hey, man, it-it wasn't my fault, okay? I had no choice! I was just doing my job, following orders! Y-you know how it is."

"No. Not really." Todd smiled bitterly. "I think that's why I was in the camp to begin with." Plus, he had always found that excuse particularly damning. With people like that, it was never their fault. They never took responsibility for their actions, allowing evil to prosper in a way it couldn't were it limited to those who actively desired it. 

"That's pathetic." Pepito spat the words out in disgust before moving on to the next guard, the one that was standing. "You got a better one?"

"Uh, I ... no, sir. I have the same excuse. Except ... I-I had a choice. I made the wrong one. Benedict was always on my ass, pressuring me to be harder. I wanted a promotion."

"Master!" the third man interrupted from his kneeling position on the floor, "I wish to apologize! I-I have realized the error of my ways! I am sorry, so sorry ... uhmm ... what's your name?" He looked up at Todd, at the same time digging overgrown fingernails into his palm, probably hoping it would supply him with a few tears.

"My name is Todd. And I'm a person. I have dreams and feelings and ... and you," He looked down for a moment, realizing that this man was probably incapable of feeling any true remorse or any pain but his own. In a way that was sadder than what had happened to him. "You really can't understand that, can you?"

"I can! I can! I do! Just let me live, let me-let me prove it! I'll be better! I'll be good!"

Todd shook his head. "Pepito, I'm ready to go."

Instead of taking the offered gun from his outstretched hand, Pepito took the hand itself, stepping close enough to speak in a near whisper. "Are you sure, Todd? This could be just what you need, to get rid of that empty feeling, that powerlessness, and it's your only chance," then he let his voice rise high enough for the condemned to hear, "because I'm going to have them killed either way." He smiled a little when their pleas increased in volume and urgency.

 Looking back down at the gun, Todd let himself actually consider it. It felt very ... not him. It was true that it had been a little invigorating to have them at his mercy after what they had done to him, to tip the balance of power, but now he was done. He should be done. That should have been enough.

Pepito smirked a bit at the confused look. Walking behind him, he put his right hand over Todd's as his left arm slipped around his waist, pulling their bodies close and spreading Todd's legs some with one of his own so that they were both in a firing stance. "People like that aren't going to get better, Todd. They barely even register as human. Do whatever you have to do to feel better."

Shuddering as Pepito's words ghosted past his ear, Todd hesitantly brought his other hand up to grip the gun, both of them trembling together until Pepito's tightened even more around his own, holding a steady aim.

"Finger on the trigger, Amigo." Pepito let his left hand drift up Todd's chest to hold him tighter as his other hand moved both of their fingers into the trigger position. He smiled again at the appropriateness of what he was doing: practically hugging Todd to himself as he coaxed him into what was supposed to be one of the worst sins that a mortal could commit. It was like giving Jehovah of Armies the finger on a near cosmic scale. It wouldn't mean that he owned Todd's soul, but the Christ spirit wouldn't want him after this. "Hold your breath. Then just ... whenever you're ready."

Todd was once again thankful for the lack of pain when his eyes widened at the already breathless tone, a tone that he didn't think was due to Pepito already holding his own breath, which he guessed as supposed to help them make the shot or something. Actually, even before then his tone had been a little too ... seductive almost, and his lips were so close to his ear that he half expected his next words to be followed by a kiss.

He shut his eyes tightly, glad that he was already blushing from an abundance of emotions that the situation had dragged out of him. This whole situation was just so wrong. And Pepito was probably getting off on it. He nearly laughed at the thought. This probably was the kind of thing that the Antichrist would find warm and cozy, if nothing else even more disturbing.

"Ready?"

This time Pepito's lips had just barely grazed his ear! He felt a flood of emotions: embarrassed, and then tingly and then ashamed of having felt tingly, all before that flood was consumed by a cold panic as he realized that their fingers were already pulling the trigger. It was too late to stop it, but without any thought, Todd pulled the gun down a few inches, filching when he still heard one of the men cry out in pain just after. He forced his eyes open and his body away from Pepito's. "Shit. Oh, G-I didn't mean ...." He lifted his hands to his eyes before dropping them back down, remembering that one was still holding a gun that had just blown a hole in the last man's arm.

"Todd." Pepito had to suppress a burst of laughter to get the words out. "Calm down. You don't have to get it right the first time. These guys are scum. They're target practice. No one said it had to be quick and painless. Miss as many times as you want."

Fighting the urge to drop the weapon, Todd stepped closer to Pepito again, hoping that maybe he would actually take it this time. "Pepito, I don't want to do it right. I ... I don't think this is going to help anymore than it already has, okay?"

Pepito's laugh instantly died. Todd had faltered a bit, but to be sure he needed to finish the deal. He hadn't wanted it to come to this, but it was apparently necessary. "Alright. It's up to you. But I think I might have a way that it could help you more."

"I don't think-" Todd paused when he saw Pepito take a photo from inside his coat, reaching out tentatively to get a better look when it was offered to him.

"Recognize anyone?" The question was kind of redundant because, by the horrified look on Todd's face, it was clear that he did. "Particularly the three on the end? Of the seven we've managed to catch so far, some of the camp personnel reported that those were your particular friends. So, three friends for three rapists; what do you say? I shouldn't have to tell you that this is an extremely good deal."

Tears welled up in his eyes, blurring the image of two men and one woman, all three still dusty from the desert where they had been recaptured, that he did indeed consider friends. His hands were shaking again and he nearly did drop the gun. "W-why are you doing this to me?" When Pepito's hand landed on his shoulder, he stepped back until it fell off, though the other man simply stepped forward.

"Todd, what the Hell? This shouldn't even be something that you have to think about." Pepito tapped the side of his own head with a finger to indicate that it was a no-brainer.

"I'm not like you, Pepito! I can't just go around killing people, even if they are beyond horrible."

"That's because you've internalized the ridiculous, hypocritical moral system that these type of people take for granted every day. They rely on people like you and your endless understanding to keep them on the street so that they can hurt other people, other people just-like-you."

"Don't touch me!" Todd slapped the hand that went for his shoulder again away, wincing slightly because he knew the action would probably have negative and unpredictable consequences, but carrying on all the same. "If you kill them, Pepito, then you might as well kill me too because I'm not going to be your little pet anymore!" His hand tightened around the picture, crumpling it a bit.

"What? I wasn't going to kill them if you didn't kill the guards. I was going to let them go if you did. And you should know that I don't make that kind of offer to just anyone."

"And I-Oh. That's, that's still ...." Todd hung his head, feeling foolish, but still justified in his anger. That kind of 'deal' still left him with no good choice. Either way he came out as a bad person with a guilty conscious.

Pepito took a few cautious steps forward, this time wrapping an arm around Todd successfully. He took the, now sweaty, gun easily from his hand as he pulled him into a small hug, hoping that this, at least, was the right move. The whole plan had already gone to ... Heaven maybe. "And you're not my pet."

Todd didn't break away, but he didn't return the hug either. "Then what am I, Pepito? A toy? Because I don't think that friends use each other like this. I mean, last night was all just part of this little game you're playing with me, right? I'm just ... just another conquest to you, just like every other soul on this planet. Our whole friendship has been a game, and I'm just ... not sure I want to play anymore."

Cringing at the torn words, Pepito pulled Todd even closer, trying not to let himself convert the pain into anger as he usually did. And it was hard, because it really did hurt. "Is that really what you think? Because I assure you, it isn't true. You've never been ... you're not like anyone else, much less like everyone else. And you're right. I shouldn't have taken advantage of what happened to you, but it wasn't what you think. I really did want to help you, now and last night. I just ... it appears that I don't know how." That was true enough, at least.

"Stop trying to force me into things!" Todd let out a horse laugh as he pulled back a little, adding a light shoulder punch that was supposed to be playful, but came out more pathetic. He sniffled, gesturing to the ex-guards. "Don't assume that you know what I need better than I do. And if you really want to help, ask me what I want."

"I'm sorry, Todd. What do you want? Besides complete freedom, I mean."

"I want ..." Todd looked down again, realizing that he was a little lost now that he had actually been asked. And, of course, because the one sure thing that he did want had been excluded. "I want us to be real friends. I want you to not blow up at me every time I make a stupid assumption. I want to know you well enough not to make stupid assumptions. I want us to be able to talk about real issues without fighting, which I know is huge because we usually avoided that back in high school, which is probably what got us where we are now." He took a deep breath. "I don't like where we are now."

"That really is huge, Todd; it won't be easy, but yes. I'll try my best if you will." Pepito gave him a large smile, his voice becoming a little less serious. "So, is that all?"

"Probably not."

"Hey, what about me! I said I'm sorry! I want to change!" The last ex-guard gestured at the bullet wound in his arm. "And you got me back! We're even now. Tell him you wanna set me free!"

"No way! No way does his ass go free and I die!" the first guard chimed in, "At least I told the fucking truth! It wasn't my fault!"

"Fuck you, Red!" the last one retorted, "Your dick was just as hard for the little pussy as mine! And you're turn was when he was passed out!"

Pepito's eye twitched, and he sent the men a look that shut them up immediately. "Do you want this back?" He held the gun out to Todd, though his grasp on it was probably so tight that he couldn't have pried it away from him had he tried.

Backing up against the far wall, Todd shook his head even as the truth still slipped past his lips in a barely audible 'yes'. He pressed both hands together behind his back just as he hit the wall to make sure that there was no chance of him taking it back.

Giving him a curt nod, Pepito turned back to the men, taking aim. "You might not wanna watch this."

Not being able to bring himself to interfere, Todd closed his eyes a few seconds before he heard muffled shots through the hands that he had brought to his ears at the same time. There were three shots, and then nothing. He blinked once, twice, still a little afraid to see carnage, even after having seen more than his fair share growing up next to Nny.

All three men now lay on the floor in respective pools of blood. The one in the middle was already dead, having taken a bullet straight to the head, while the other two still groaned and cried pitifully as they held what was probably the remains of their genitals in their hands. From the looks of things, it wasn't doing them much good because the vital fluid was still leaking from that area in gushes, seeping through their fingers, running down their arms, dripping in a steady beat onto the tile floor. It wouldn't be long before they joined their peer in death.

"Sorry, Todd."  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Todd looked up from his journal, shocked by the sudden loud thumping on the door to his quarters that forced him out of his thoughts. Reluctantly, he closed the plain black notebook, slipping it between the cushions of the couch as he rose from it to answer his insistent caller. "Uh, hey, Marla. Can I help you?"

"You're going to be my date for the Valentines Day dance tonight." She leveled him with an imposing stare and a deceptively inviting smile.

"O-oh," he frowned, "but I've already told Miss Reilly that I'm not going."

At first, when his only real interaction with Dr. Marla had been as her patient in the camp, he had thought that the air of authority that she always seemed to carry about her was a facet of her job. When she continued to treat him somewhat forcefully after the move, he had thought that it was some kind of Satanic superiority thing, but now, having gotten to know her better, as well as observe her treating almost everyone else in the same manner, sometimes with much less consideration of feelings, he was convinced that it was just an intrinsic part of her personality. Watching her show submissiveness toward Pepito, even over the phone, was like watching a well practiced and highly calculated act.

Marla rolled her hazel eyes, sending him a small smile all the same. "I don't think she'll mind. Who do you think suggested that I invite you?"

That figured. He chose to pretend that the order really had been a request, even though he could already tell that there was no way he was going to worm his way out of it. "Well, I guess I could come down for a little while."

"Good. Because I'm expected to be there, and you're one of the only people here that I can stomach for most of the night. Come by my room at seven o'clock." She turned to go, stopping half a second later to face him again as she pulled an envelop from the satchel that nearly always accompanied her. "I forgot, Rosemary asked me to bring up your mail."

"Oh. Thank you." Taking the item tentatively from her hand, he raised a brow at the pink color, closing the door when Marla walked away. The only person who ever sent him mail was, of course, Pepito, as he was still a prisoner of the state. This didn't stop him from receiving it in abundance though. Ever since the Pepito had returned to New York nearly two months ago, he had been sending Todd a steady assortment of packages and even a few cards, but none of them had been pink. It had to be the season.

Todd slid his index finger along the sealing, accidentally tearing the envelop some, as was his accidental custom, so that he could pull out an electronic card. There was a picture on the front of the two of them as young teenagers. The words "whenever I call you friend" were printed in red letters down the side on top of a typical heart-patterned boarder. He ran his finger over one heart at the bottom that stood out because of its larger size and darker color, and a familiar song of the same title began to play.

He gave a short laugh as he returned to the couch with the card still playing, putting his legs up and leaning back against a plush pillow that covered the arm rest. It was funny because he and Pepito had both always considered that sort of thing to be irredeemably cliché, much like the holiday itself, not to mention completely commercialized.

That was, supposedly, why Pepito had decided in middle school that they should start spending that day together instead of with any potential dates, not that Todd had had any to give up back then. He had said something about friendship being the truest form of love, and most romantic relationships being built on lies, and Todd had quietly agreed, not having had any experience with that sort of thing, the sort of thing where 'involved' people actually loved each other. Not that he had many friends either, but the ones that he did have did seem to genuinely care about him ... in their own ways.

At first they had spent their time together as they would on any normal sleepover, doing their best to ignore any trappings of the holiday, with the one exception of Mrs. Diablo's Valentine's Day cupcakes, but at some point Pepito had decided that cliché things were amusing, especially when used in an over the top, if not quite traditional, manner. Todd thought that the cards had probably started at about eighth grade. They had always born some variation of the ever popular 'be mine' angle, except that, coming from the Antichrist, that request took on a whole new meaning that had nothing to do with flowers and candy and more to do with inverted pentacles and world conquest.

Eventually, they had added more trappings to what had become almost a parody of the holiday, many of which, like the cards, centered around Pepito's long standing quest to win his soul. It was mostly little things, obvious jokes, but sometimes Pepito would throw a more substantial, more serious offer his way.

Todd had always dreaded those offers. For one thing, sometimes they really were tempting, and that was scary. Another reason was how let down Pepito had always looked after one of his bigger, more thought out offers failed to get him what he wanted. It made Todd think that maybe that was the whole point of Pepito being his friend. That thought was more painful than he'd like to admit, and the pain reminded him that he really shouldn't have let himself become so attached to someone like Pepito to begin with.

Because of the nature that the holiday had taken on over the years, he hadn't expected Pepito to still want to celebrate it with him senior year, after he had turned down any such requests permanently. Instead of admitting it or wallowing in self-pity, he had planned on replacing his usual routine with a stack of his favorite books and maybe a movie on the small, black and white TV/radio in his room, but Pepito had abducted him after school that day just like always. He had even gotten another card that year, although the 'be mine' had been noticeably missing.

Todd shook his head, placing the card on the coffee table so that he could get dressed for his fast approaching 'date'. He quickly selected one of the few dress suits that Pepito had ordered for him before leaving. At the time he had thought that it would be a bit superfluous, but as it turned out, Rosemary was quite the entertainer, especially for someone who was technically not even a citizen of the new order.

The phone rang when he was making yet another doomed attempt to fix the tie for the suit, causing him to let out a frustrated grunt as he gave up for the time being. On his way back into the bedroom to answer it, he glanced at the clock on his nightstand. He still had a good twenty minutes, so it probably wasn't Marla calling to tell him that he was late. "Hello?"

"Open your door."

"Pepito, tell me you didn't get me another present. I really don't know what to do with all this stuff."

"Sorry, Amigo. I couldn't help it. Just open up."

"Alright, alright. I'm going." Rolling his eyes, Todd walked through the small living room, fumbling with the phone as he finished re-buttoning his shirt before finally opening the door.

"Surprise!" Pepito clicked off his own phone, returning it to the pocket of his jacket.

"Pepito! You-" The words stopped dead in his throat as he was nearly lifted off the floor when Pepito swung him around in a tight hug. He was laughing by third round, and then Pepito let go, ruffling his freshly combed hair along the way.

Pepito smiled at the disarray that was his doing. "Miss me?"

Todd cocked his head to the side as if the question merited serious consideration, though there was never really a doubt in his mind. "Yes. What are you doing here?"

"I finally managed to get things under control enough to take a short vacation. My mother has this party every year, and I've never gone. Of course, I didn't bring a date, so I may have to crash yours. You don't mind, do you?"

Todd shrugged. "Not really. Marla was kind of forcing me to go anyway."

"She told me. But you're not getting out of it, you know." Pushing himself off of the door frame, where he had been leaning back, Pepito walked further into Todd's quarters, letting the door close softly behind them with a little help from his powers.

"But, you just said you're stealing my date." Todd crossed his arms to signify a type of solid resolution that, for the most part, only martyrs and teenagers possess. "You can't make me go alone. I didn't even want to go to begin with."

"I said that I'm crashing your date, not that I'm stealing it. We're all going. Together."

Todd blinked at him stupidly. "I really don't mind not going. Really. You and Marla should go together anyway; you're ..." He stopped, realizing that he had never actually heard it confirmed, "are you dating?"

"Not dating exactly. No." It was more like a political courtship with a sexual undertone, but Todd probably wouldn't understand that sort of thing, though it was fairly common in demonic and political circles, and especially when said circles were both demonic and political.

"But you like her, right?"

"Sure. She's intelligent, funny, competent, dedicated without being truly submissive. She's a good Satanist and a good friend. However, she's not ... well, to be honest, Todd, she's not you. She might make a good wife and queen someday ... kings of Hell are expected to have many mates, you know. But she'll never be my best friend. And you know you've always been my valentine. So if I'm stealing anyone's date, it's Marla's, but I'd rather not because, as you said, I like her and I think that's rather rude. Wouldn't you agree?"

Todd nodded, though in many ways he was now even more confused. "But what about all those people, guests. Won't they think that it's really odd?"

"Heh. Let them. They know better that to say it, even if they think it. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now let's get you ready. Can you still not tie a tie properly?" He let out a huff of amused disbelief. "Come here."

When they both arrived at Marla's door together, Todd noted that she seemed distinctly unsurprised, leaving him to conclude that Pepito had probably called her first about the whole thing. They received a lot of attention when they entered the ball room together, but so far as he could tell, it was only because of Pepito's status as President of the UN and the owner of the house.

No, the real strange looks hadn't started until Pepito had eventually asked him, at length until Marla had finally intervened to threaten him until he caved, to dance with him. But he had to admit that even then the looks had been subdued and not shared by most of the party-goers.

Pepito looked behind him, where Todd's line of vision led, laughing at several people who had instantly looked away and committing them to memory. There were, of course, other people dancing with a person of the same sex, who were receiving no extra attention from the crowd, but he supposed that heterosexism was more easily uncovered when it involved someone who was supposed to be your leader or even your God. "Don't worry about them, Todd. The old ways are dying, whether they really understand what that means or not. Just follow my movements. And stop trying to lead."

Despite the slight awkwardness of the situation, Todd managed a small grin himself. "Sorry. Force of habit. I've never danced with a guy before." That and he hardly knew anything about more formal, high society dancing anyway. Luckily, the music soon changed to a slow and mushy song that required no actual talent or training, and he quickly adapted.

Pulling Todd closer so that they could talk without being overheard, Pepito smirked at the pink tint that rose in the man's cheeks. "Thank you, Todd."

"For dancing with you? It's not so bad once you get used to it."

"That, and coming here with me. And for the last few months. I was afraid that we'd never get this back."

"This?" Todd raised a brow.

"Our friendship. I know it isn't exactly as it used to be, but we've been getting along pretty well, right? Even if it is because I've been on the other side of the country and our interaction has been purely through telephone?" That last premise was actually highly possible. With him so far away, Todd could talk to him without any kind of fear that he would blow up. If things got too heated on either end, one of them could simply hang up, and they would try again in a couple of days. But hopefully by now they were passed that point anyway.

"Yeah," Todd nodded, "Yeah, I guess we have." To be honest, while he too was grateful for the change in their relationship that he hadn't really expected to work out so well, he also felt a little guilty. So many people were living in horrid conditions while he was not only living in luxury, but also trying to improve his friendship with the one who was responsible for it all. Still, being friends with Pepito might well be the best way for him to try to help those people under the circumstances, and it seemed to be helping Pepito as well.

The song started to fade out, and even more people stared when Marla draped her arms around them both for the last of the dance. "Mind if I take my date back for the next song?"

Pepito let the other two break away from him with an easy lift of his shoulders. "Of course." Todd gave him a fleeting look of apprehension before they were sucked into the crowd. He turned to head back to his table, only to find his mother standing in his way. He bowed playfully, offering his hand. "May I have this dance?"

Mirth tugged her lips up a little more as she took her son's hand and they joined the other dancers, though it was quickly followed by a ceasing of worry lines above under her eyes and above her brows. "Pepe, it's been a good while since I've seen you so carefree and so ... yourself, and I'm happy for you. I am." She produced a frown to match the one that Pepito now wore. "But what are you doing?"

"What you do mean, Mother?"

"With Todd?"

His brow furrowed. "You told me to be his friend."

"Yes, darling. Be his friend, but I don't think you should try to pursue anything more."

"Anything more?"

"Don't give me that, young man. I may be losing my charms, but my sight is just fine. I know that look."

"There's no look," he let out an exasperated laugh, "And even if there was, I don't see how-"

"There is a look," she said in a loud whisper. "It's the same one you used to give him back in high school, and you remember how well that turned out."

"Of course, Mother, but things change. People change."

"Besides, I thought you were interested in Marla."

"Well, you thought wrong then, didn't you?" Okay, so that was a little exaggerated, but the conversation was starting to grate on his nerves. His mother had never been the type to pry into his love or sex life before, much less push her opinion of whom he should be with on him.

"What's wrong with Marla?"

 "Nothing's wrong with Marla! I like Marla. Do you want me to be with Marla? You're acting like I've just told you you'll never have grand-kids or something, which is odd because I thought that you had already given up on that, what with the coming Armageddon and all. You do realize that any kids that I might have will be well out of your reach in Heaven, correct?"

"Pepito, this isn't about grandchildren! Or about Todd's sex organs! It's about Todd as a person. He's ... well, don't you think that Marla's a better match for you? More your type of person?"

"Not really. I wouldn't mind having sex with her or even marrying her to form a strong political front, but I just don't love her. And she doesn't love me either."

"Pepito!"

He exhaled heavily. "I'm sorry, Mother, but this is ridiculous. You can't keep prying like this and expect not to learn anything unwanted. And I thought you liked Todd. Hell, you act like you like him more than you like me."

"I do! I mean, I love him. Not more than you, sweetie. And I know you do too. That's why I think you should back off."

"I'm not following."

"Darling, Marla ... she's a nice girl with a good head on her shoulders. And she already belongs to you. Why can't that be good enough?"

"Oh," he groaned, "this is about Hell again, isn't it?"

"I just don't see how you could want someone that you love to go there."

"First of all, it wouldn't be Hell because I'm not going to lose. It will be the Earth, under Infernal rule. Secondly, I've been to Hell, and it's not that bad. You've never been to Heaven. For all you know you could be buying into a load. And lastly, this situation with Todd is far more complicated that you can imagine."

"I'm sure." She smiled bitterly. "But you're not going to bother finding out, are you?"

"I can't. It's classified. Just ... please trust me when I say that I'll always do what I think is in his best interests."

"Darling, your intentions are not the part that I doubt."

After a long night of dancing, wine and socialization, Pepito brought his dates back to his quarters to watch a few movies that his production company had churned out recently, which had yet to make it to the theaters for mass consumption. At the end of the first, Marla had left, claiming that she had an early morning the next day, or in a few hours that same day by then. By the middle of the second, Todd had fallen asleep with his head on Pepito's shoulder.

"Well, I guess this one's no good," Pepito muttered to himself as he flicked the TV off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table with a soft clink. Of course, it could have simply been that Todd had had more excitement than he was used to now.

Resting his own head against the unconscious one, Pepito felt his eyelids become heavy. Sighing against dark brown hair, he turned out the lights and summoned a blanket with his powers, putting an arm around Todd to make the position more comfortable. He probably should have put him to bed, but he knew that Todd had always had problems sleeping. He was too tried to to carry him down the hall, and waking up in Pepito's bed might not be received so well.

He chuckled lowly at himself. He was making up excuses and he knew it. The truth was that he just didn't want to give up that causal intimacy that still had the feel of a miracle. Ick. Miracles. Even if it was one, he didn't think that he could turn it down. But it wasn't enough because he knew that, as things currently stood, he would have to let go.

He smiled. Maybe his mother had been right about 'the look'. Before she had accused him of it, he hadn't really thought that much about whether or not he was still interested in Todd romantically, mostly because he had thought that it was irrelevant. His last attempt to protect him from the Christ spirit had failed, not completely, but still pretty horribly. Apparently wrath wasn't Todd's cup of sin; however, if his mother was that insistent that he not 'pursue anything more' with him, then that was as good a hint as any that pursuing it was exactly what he should be doing. It meant that she believed that it had a reasonable chance of working.

 Pulling Todd a little closer, Pepito finally let his own eyes close. He was going to have to thank her, much later, of course, after Todd was safely his.  
  



	11. Chapter 11

The ocean seemed to consume the night's sky like a giant amoeba absorbing its stars ever so slowly in successive waves; it had a patience like death with the passion of life. Todd shivered, both at the thought and in the wake of a breeze that had just found its way to the deck of Pepito's personal yacht.

Pepito had decided that they should spend the last few days of his two week vacation at sea, and Todd had to admit that it was pretty nice. Being so far out from land, where all of the lights and noise were no more, was like being alone with the universe and the rhythm of the natural world, even if they were surrounded on all sides by other boats belonging to the Coast Guard and Pepito's security detail.

"Hey."

Todd jumped at the sudden sound, turning around quickly to face Pepito as his back hit the railing. "H-hey."

"Are you aware that it's well past two in the morning? You missed s'mores on the top deck." Smirking a little at how lost Todd still managed to get in his own thoughts, and how jittery he could still be, even after all those years, Pepito came closer.

"Oh. Is that my hint to go to bed? I promise I'm not going to jump overboard in hopes of making it back to shore and catching a ride out of town with hustlers who double as conspiracy theorists." He smiled at the eye roll his statement elicited.

"I suppose you can sleep out here if you'd like, under two conditions. First, I will be joining you. Second, you have to share my blanket." Pulling said blanket from his own shoulders, he draped it around Todd's instead, tugging the ends that were still in his hands closer so that they were both offered some of its protection.

Todd slipped his hand between Pepito's arm and back to hold the ends of the blanket together, secretly thankful for its presence. Although it was rarely cold in southern California, even in late February, the beach and off-shore air was a different matter, especially at night and with wind chill. A thicker jacket would have been a good idea. He let out a small chuckle. "Are you really that paranoid?"

"Heh. No. But you always have to point out new methods of escaping that I hadn't considered. I mean, seriously, what is that? Some passive aggressive way of psychologically torturing me?"

"What?" Todd shot the other a brief look of incredulity before letting his head rest against his sweater-clad shoulder as he looked back out to sea. "You started it, Pepe. Besides, I think it's just a veiled cry for attention."

"Ah. Well, it works, apparently."

"Um-hum."

Pepito smiled softly at Todd's tired, but mostly content, voice, as he raised one tentative hand to his back under the blanket. "Are you okay? You've been out here quite a while."

"Yeah. I just didn't want to take this view for granted."

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Like a prayer? No. Not really." Todd raised his head without removing it from the shoulder. "Would you be mad if you were?"

Pepito sighed, looking at the clear sky that had had his friend so preoccupied moments ago. "Not mad." Okay, so that wasn't entirely true. He knew that deep down, there was a part of him that was still angry at Todd for choosing the Resistance and the Christian God over him, but that part was going to have to be ignored for now. Keeping him was more important than that anger, and he couldn't afford to re-hatch all those same fights when he needed to be focusing on his new plan. So far, things were going quite well, but he didn't exactly have an infinite amount of time to bring Todd over to his side before the incarnation and the final battle.

"Jealous?" Todd raised a teasing brow, poking fun at one of those old Valentines Day jokes in hopes of lightening the mood a little more.

"Ha. Maybe."

"Don't think I haven't noticed that you always seem to call me just before bed time."

"Don't be silly, Amigo. That's simply the only convenient time that I have free. Do you want me to start calling you in the middle of the night?"

"... no."

Snorting at the expected reply, Pepito let the conversation almost die before picking it back up more seriously. "Maybe I am a little jealous. Back in school, I used to regard our friendship as kind of ... sacred almost, and now your giving that devotion to someone else. But really, I think I'm more worried than anything."

"Worried? Because of what you said about praying being a spiritual crutch?"

"Partly. I know you don't want to hear this, and that it's hard to let go of something that you've come to rely on, but the things that you think are wrong with my administration ... the one you pray to isn't any better. There are things in the Bible, things done for fear and power, that even I wouldn't do." He gave the other critical look. "If you're really still thinking for yourself, don't you think that you should hold 'God' to at least the same standard that you're holding me to? Just because you give someone life doesn't mean that they belong to you or that you can mistreat them without fault. Do you really want to belong to someone that thinks like that?"

Todd took a step back, biting his lower lip. Those were actually some good points. It wasn't as if he had never considered them before. There was a time when he was younger when he had considered the Christian God and Devil to be on about equal ground morally. "I don't want to belong to anyone, exactly. And you're right about the Old Testament God, for the most part. But I think ... I think that maybe God can change, does change over time. Just look at how different the New Testament is from the Old."

"Oh, it's different in some ways alright, if by different you mean that it takes the degradation of the self to all new levels. Christianity has always been the religion of sheep and slaves." He decided that it was best not to mention that Todd was currently breaking at least one of the rules from the new testament just by being his friend.

"Always or just now that you're in control? And not all of the people in the camps are even Christian, you know." Todd moved to cross his arms over his chest, accidentally stealing Pepito's blanket completely as he did so.

"That's not what I meant, Todd."

"Oh, I know, Pepito." He jerked the patchwork blanket from his person, balling it up and tossing it back to him, and feeling kind of bad when he recognized it as one that Rosemary had quilted for her son before he had left for college. "What you meant was that they don't hold the whims of the individual over the needs of the many or consider greed to be a virtue. You say think different, but what you really mean is that everyone should think like you, that everyone should hate God and-"

"I don't hate God, Amigo. I can't. He gave me you." Pepito gave the other a small grin when that one comment shut him up instantly.

Brow furrowing, Todd looked at Pepito for a long time, neither of them saying a word, before he finally broke the gaze, looking at the stars again as his lips curved up a little against his will. That was just ... the nicest thing that anyone had ever, ever said to him, and coming from the Antichrist .... It made him feel warm even without the blanket. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. But I'd appreciate it if you would keep it to yourself. I have a reputation to maintain, after all. And I'm not saying that I like him or anything. I'm still-" his voice died in his throat when Todd suddenly leaned over to press a short kiss to his cheek, "What was that?"

"A 'thank you'?" Todd looked down, suddenly feeling self-conscious. It had only been a cheek kiss, but it had been a long time since he and Pepito had been on those kind of terms. Maybe Pepito thought he was disgusting now ... now that he had 'betrayed him', now that he prayed, now that ... now that what had happened in the work camp had happened. After the last one, he kind of found himself disgusting. "I'm sorry if that was too-"

"No sorries." Recovering from the shock, Pepito captured one of the hands that had fallen to Todd's sides in his own, bringing to his lips to return the gesture. "And you're welcome."

Todd meet Pepito's eyes again, and there was another long silence as they both stood there holding hands with the wind wiping their hair and rustling their clothes. He was still a little embarrassed. It seemed strange that those kisses, that being so physically and emotionally close, hadn't seemed weird to his high school self.

When the quiet was interrupted by Todd turning to the left, away from the wind, to sneeze, Pepito laughed. Pulling him closer, he released his hand to cover him with the blanket again. "You know, I have a skylight in my room, if you're really only out here for the view."

Accepting the quilt yet again, Todd raised a brow at the words.

Pepito shrugged. "Mother will bitch at me for months if you get sick out here, and I know you're not a fan of quick, magical healings."

"Alright, I guess." Todd frowned at the floor of the deck. A skylight wasn't going to be the same, and, though Pepito did have a small point about him coming down with something, he was hardly ever afforded with such an opportunity. Still, he let the other take his hand again to lead him down to the cabin. They stopped by his own small room so that he could change into his night clothes before heading down the hall to the biggest bedroom, which was tucked right against the bow of the ship.

Holding the door open for Todd, and closing it after they were both inside, Pepito watched him look around the room, which was adorned with rich furniture and contrasting bare walls. "I want to show you something. Stand there, in front of the waterbed, but facing the wall."

"O-kay." Todd laughed a little to himself, but complied all the same. He was bored after only a minute of staring at the blank wall, but just as he was about to look back something happened. The lights went out and then there were suddenly no more walls, including floor and ceiling! He could see the framework of the ship in front of the boat and on the sides! "Ack!" He flailed, falling back onto the waterbed, which made his stomach unhappy as its waves went against those of the water mass that was currently about half way up the apparently invisible walls of the room.

Watching the waves rise and fall against the bow as a few stray clouds moved overhead and making out several nocturnal fish swimming below the boat's floor, he finally let out a breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding. He scooted back to the edge of the bed, testing the transparent floor with his socked toes before getting back to his feet. Cautiously, he stepped forward, walking across what looked like almost nothing to raise his hand to the cool surface of the wall. "Pepito, this is amazing."

"Thanks, Amigo." Pepito shot him a large smile as if the compliment had been intended for himself instead of his yacht when he looked back in awe, obviously not having expected to find Pepito changing into his own pajamas. It was ridiculously juvenile, but making Todd blush had been one of his favorite pastimes since middle school, and now he found himself falling back on many of their old habits.

Todd shook his head as he turned back around, away from the semi-naked Pepito. He had never really had a sense of modesty, and there was no reason for him to expect one to crop up now. "Isn't this kind of dangerous?"

"Not really." Pepito pulled up the pants to his pajamas before slipping a black shirt over head. "Not as long as we're maintaining a relatively constant position with the guards making sure no one else gets past their circle to crash into us. The transparent mode is only setup to work for the bow, and it's used sparingly in daylight so faster moving fish won't ram us or anything."

"Ah." When Pepito made no further reply, Todd continued to stare out into the ocean in silence until he could feel the repetition of the waves start to lull him into a near hypnotic state. His body leaned back with the ship, but not forward again, causing him to loose his footing. Luckily, he managed to catch himself after a few stumbles, at last deciding that it was time for bed.

Climbing in beside Pepito, he lay close enough to share the quilt because the other man was already laying on the bed's covers and it wasn't very cool inside the cabin anyway. He let out a contented sigh when the mattress settled down from his movements, finding a rhythm with the current. Not only did it add to the underwater effect of the room, but it also seemed to move less overall than less elastic objects that did not bend to the ocean's command. "This really is nice."

"I'm glad you like it." Pepito turned his head to look at Todd, whose current position matched his own: he was lying on his back, his head resting on an overstuffed pillow with the quilt up to his midsection. His sleepy eyes had found the stars once again, this time through the skylight, but seemed to slip closed every now and then with the massive weight of tiredness. One hand lay atop the blanket between them, and Pepito took it into his own for safe keeping as he looked back up himself. "Todd?"

"Humm?"

"You've enjoyed my presence over the last couple weeks, yes?"

Todd gave him a confused look. "Of course." That really should have been obvious, maybe a little too obvious. The two had spent most of Pepito's vacation together, and they had only had a few arguments. They still had a long way to go to achieve what he had told the other that he wanted in the Guard Station, but they had made a great deal of progress, so much so that to Todd the last two weeks felt more like months.

"I've been thinking ... My birthday is only about three weeks away, and there's going to be a big celebration in the Central Park, and I thought ... well, I'd really like you to come."

"O-oh," Todd glopped, "I ... is it ...."

"It's a public celebration, so you don't have to be initiated or anything, and since it's so close, you could spend most of March with me in New York."

"Pepe," Todd let out a deep breath, "you know that it's not ... it's not that I don't want to, but-"

"But the praying, right?" Pepito rolled his eyes at the stars, but didn't change his conversational tone. "I've decided that, if you're willing to agree to the other stipulations, I am willing to overlook that, as long as you keep your prayers of a personal nature and they don't involve me or my reign or violate the other rules in any way."

Looking down for a few seconds, Todd inspected the blanket as if it was some kind of divining tool that could explain the unfolding events to him. If Pepito was willing to make that much of a compromise, he was kind of obligated to accept it or risk offending him horribly and making any similar offers seem pointless and weak. Plus, Pepito had been inviting him to his birthday parties since they were thirteen, and this one was, supposedly, not specifically of the Satanic ritual variety. Of course, there was also the silly dread that had been growing in the back of his mind for when he would leave again and probably not make another appearance for another two months.

"Alright." Todd met his gaze again, tightening his hold on his hand. He smiled softly as his answer launched Pepito into a rambling explanation of all the things that they could do over the next couple weeks, letting his eyes close as the words fell into all the right, worn grooves in his brain.  
  



	12. Chapter 12

After the President's private jet had touched down at the airport, Todd's mind had still been occupied with the view of the flight over as Pepito somehow managed to get him into the heaviest coat that he had ever worn. The cab suddenly felt hot and stuffy. He tugged at the collar of the thick material, but soon found himself pulling the zipper up above his mouth when the hatch was opened to let in the New York air, which proved itself to be below freezing as several gusts of snow meet them on their way to the limo.

He stared with wide eyes out the window at the the frosty scenery, his body shivering even as his arms hugged the large coat closer to himself and the limo blasted all of its passengers with heat. Pepito's reflection was watching him, smiling fondly at his plight, in the glass of the window. The smug man seemed unbothered by the weather conditions.

"Never seen snow before, Amigo?"

"I've seen it ... during winter storms ... on the mountains ...." Todd pouted when Pepito smirked at this, but took solace in the fact that, across from him, Edgar appeared to be just as cold as himself, which made sense because, unlike Pepito, neither of them had had more than ten years to adapt. "That time that I came to visit you, it was around ninety-four, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was, but that was June. That's the beauty of seasonal change."

"I guess so. It does look pretty, but I don't think I really likes extremes."

"Does that mean that you don't want to go for a carriage ride with me later? Or ice skating?" Pepito gestured out the window at the park that the limo was currently making its way through, still facing Todd beside him, to whom he gave a small frown.

"Well, I guess I could try it. It does look like fun." And he would do almost anything to get some quality time outdoors, even if it turned him into a pop sickle.

"Great. What about you, Edgar?"

"What? Me?" The dead-but sort of alive again-man broke himself away from the passing landscape, all but admitting that he had been tuning the two men out during the entire thirty minute ride, not to mention most of the plane ride before that as well.

"Do you like ice skating? Have you ever been?"

Edgar took in a deep breath, then took his time in answering the question, his face scrunched and his words cautious, as though he suspected a trick. "I've, uh, been a few times back in high school," he finally answered as the limo came to a stop.

"Good. Then you can come tomorrow night." Pepito smiled at his deflated look. It wasn't as if it had been his idea for Edgar to come along as Todd's chaperon. His mother had apparently taken quite a liking to the damned man over the last couple months, and had insisted that he be there to watch over poor, impressionable Todd. Not that he really minded. Edgar was as good as his, and the only power that his mother really had was to bitch at him relentlessly.    

Todd stepped hesitantly out of the limo when two servants opened the doors, saying a quick thanks as he took in the building just in front of them while the men unloaded the trunk. The Bramford was a ten story, buff-colored fortress-like structure with both Gothic and Victorian elements. It was short in comparison with most of the surrounding buildings, but it made up for that easily in elegance.

"Nice, right?"

He started when Pepito's gloved hand found his own, instantly warming his entire body with magic and a small wink. "Very."

"Father bought it for me when I was just a baby. My parents lived in this building when I was born, until we moved to California." He started forward, pulling Todd with him and confident that Edgar would follow. "Come on. They'll take the luggage up in the service elevator. This archway was originally for horse-drawn carriages."

Todd looked up at the archway they were walking through, then at the square court yard and fountain in the middle, surrounded by the apartment building itself. There was no denying that it was beautiful, but at the same time, it reminded him a little of the design of Work Camp Thirty-one. There was a small guard station, obviously much newer than the building, set up as they entered the court yard where they had to check in, and he traded his ankle security-bracelet for a wrist one that was a bit more inconspicuous. It could almost pass for a bulky watch.

"Sorry, Amigo," Pepito said as they stepped into one of the four elevators on each square of the court yard. "It's not really that I don't trust you, but New York is a big city, and I really don't want to lose you in it."

Pulling the sleeve of his coat down to hide the contraption, Todd shrugged as if it meant nothing, though that was far from what he felt. Still, he took Pepito's hand back into his own as they shuffled into the hall of the seventh floor.

"Okay, the main things that you need to know ..." Pepito thought to himself for a moment after coming to a stop in front of one of the doors and digging in a pocket of his coat. "Laundry and the gym are in the basement, the main dinning and entertainment rooms are on the first floor, secondary executive offices are on the second, there's a garden on the roof, and everything else is private."

"Private?" Edgar raised a brow as he took off his glasses to rub away the accumulated dewy moisture with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Yes, private, as in you shouldn't go snooping around there because other individuals live there. Members of my cabinet and the main coven."

"I see. So, basically, you're saying that, for the next month, we're going to be living in a Satanic coven-house."

"Basically, yes. Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Vargas?"

"... no, I suppose not."

"Then you'll be wanting these." Pepito finally took a set of keys from his pocket. "You're 7-E. Todd's going to be staying with me in 7-A down the hall."

Edgar opened his mouth as if to protest, but instead stiffly lifted his hand to take the keys. He returned the little wave Todd gave him with a look of grim determination before entering 7-E and closing the door behind him.

Pepito lead Todd throughout his apartment, pointing out the bathroom, the study, the kitchen, dinning room and finally the living room. The curtains were already drawn back to let the evening light hit the dark wood of the walls and high ceilings."The Bram was built during the late 1800s, and, unlike most apartments of the day, it was designed to have windows on both sides. On this side you can see 72 street and Central Park, and the other overlooks the court yard. There are a few spare bedrooms on either side, so you can take your pick."

"Thanks." He released Pepito's hand, letting him take his winter gear to hang it with his own before heading to do just that. A loud crackling had him turning back around to see that a raging fire had come to life in the living room fireplace, and he shook his head at Pepito's sly smile.

"There's also electric heat, but I prefer the real thing." He shrugged. "The thermostat is at the end of the hall."

In the end Todd decided to claim a medium sized bedroom opposite one of the two bathrooms. It was on the side of the apartment that faced the street and the park, only one down from Pepito's. Pulling back the curtains, he smiled softly at the streams of people and cars below. It was kind of nice to be able to watch the real world at work again, even if it wasn't exactly the same one that he remembered. It was odd how little things actually seemed to have changed on the surface.

Across the street he could see bundled people skating, walking dogs, children building a snowman and throwing snow balls at one another at the park where Pepito's official, public birthday party would be held near the end of the month, specifically on the twenty-sixth of March. Todd knew that his actual, real birthday was on the twenty-eighth, which had been Good Friday the year that he was born, but fell on Easter this year. It had become a habit for various reasons when they were younger that the Satanic celebration of his birthday was always held on the day of Jesus' death while his real birthday was more for family and friends.

He wasn't really sure if that had changed in his absence, but this year there were going to be two parties: one public and one private, except that this time the private one was on the twenty-eighth. It might have been a simple switch of the old tradition, or if the secrecy might just not be necessary anymore. It made Todd a little nervous because he was invited to both of them.

A sudden commotion from the living room pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, Todd! Luggage is here!"

"Coming!" The luggage wasn't the only thing that had arrived. When Todd saw that an old couple and a middle-aged woman with short, dark hair and glasses accompanied it, he forced himself to smile instead of sprinting back the way he had come and hoping for the best. "Uh, hi."

"Todd," Pepito wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "you remember Minnie and Roman Castevet, right? They came to visit a few times in California?"

"Oh, yeah. It's, uh, nice to meet you again."

"Well, it sure is nice to see you again too, honey! Roman and me never had any kids of our own, but Adrian here has been just like a grandson to us, hasn't he Roman?"

"That he has, dearest, that he has. He's been good to us, been on many a trip with us too. And he's named after my father, Adrian Marcato, you know. Well, his middle name anyway. His mother, Rosemary, wanted-"

"Yeah," Minnie cut her husband off, "but he's always so busy. Maybe now that you two kids have settled down together, he'll lighten up some, huh? Will you work on him for us?"

"Umm ... I'll try, but we're not-"

"Really settled in yet!" Pepito pulled Todd closer to distract from the wide-eyed look that he was giving him. "In fact, we were just about to consummate our moving in together when you knocked."

"Oh, dear me! We didn't mean to disturb you, Adrian! We just wanted to welcome you back. Come on Roman, let's let them have some alone time. You remember how it was to be young." She turned to go, but stopped a few feet before the door. "Are you still planning on cooking dinner tonight, honey? Because I don't mind if you've got other things to do. You two could just come over in a few hours and-"

"No! No, that's fine. Thanks, Minnie, but I've got it covered." Releasing his grasp on Todd, and pretending that the man wasn't still staring at him in shock, Pepito took the bag of groceries from the other occupant of the room. "This is my home secretary, Tess, by the way, Todd. Oh, Tess, there's a guest in 7E. Could you check up on him for me? See if he needs anything? "

"Of course, Mr. President." Tess smiled politely, ever eager to please.

Pepito returned her smile with a dazzling one of his own. "Thank you. I know it isn't usually a part of your job to see to guests and pick up groceries, but as we've yet to fill many of the service positions .... Anyway, I hear you've been very helpful over the last couple days. Remind me at the end of the month that you need a nice bonus."

"Oh, uh, yes, sir. It's no problem."

"A guest, you say?" Roman cut in with a raised, apprehensive eyebrow. "I think we'll go along with you, dear, to see that he or she is properly welcomed."

"That's a good idea. You boys take care now, and we'll see you in a few hours. I always told Roman that you two make such a cute couple, didn't I Roman?"

"Yes, dear."

Pepito rolled his eyes as the three of them finally vacated his apartment. At least Edgar would keep Minnie and Roman busy for a while.

"What happened with the staff?" Todd asked.

"Oh." Pepito turned around, his smile turning sheepish. "Well, they ... most of them were androids, more than at the California house, and I thought that might you a little uncomfortable. So, they're in storage for the month."

"Ah." Todd gripped his left upper arm is his right hand and squeezed tightly, willing back the panic that threatened to well up at the reminder.

Pepito grimaced. "I'm sorry. I was going to say there was a scandal or something, but eventually you would notice that there are almost no androids here. Maybe I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's okay." Releasing his arm and a deep breath, Todd smiled a little more legitimately. "It's ...nice, I think. Thank you."

"You're welcome." An award silence became to descend, but Pepito took the opportunity to grab Todd's hand again. "You mind helping me with dinner?"

A few hours later, most of the meal was either ready or almost so. Todd had elected to help because he had nothing better to do, and he could always stand to pick up a few cooking tips from Pepito, who had inherited all his mother's skill at the activity. "So, I've got the regular cake mix ready, and I've added a package of chocolate pudding mix ...."

Looking up from the syrupy icing that he was stirring, Pepito leaned over Todd's bowl to appraise the mixture. "That looks good. Do you remember the rest?"

"Uh, a cup of oil, four eggs, a half cup of warm water and ... did you say sour cream?" His nose wrinkled toward the end.

"Yes." He smiled, remembering how Todd reading the ingredient list for even healthy foods was often a bad omen for dinner. "And chocolate chips."

"Chocolate and sour cream ...." Todd left the 'eww' unspoken, though by now he had learned to reserve judgment for taste testing. But it still seemed just so wrong.

"That's right, Amigo." Pepito took the liberty of scooping a full measuring cup of sour cream into the bowl while Todd beat the eggs, smirking at the face he made as he finally poured the remaining ingredients on top.

Todd frowned as the mixture became a dark brown blob. Maybe if he pretended that it was whipped cream it would seem less disgusting.

Pepito laughed at him. "You're so mistrusting."

"Yeah, well, can you blame me? You lied to Minnie and Roman about us being a couple!" Todd huffed. "I still can't believe you did that."

"I didn't tell them, they assumed. And I've already told you that I just let them think that because it'll keep them out of my hair for a while. If I let them, they would take up all my free time." He chuckled to himself before giving Todd a mischievous smile. "Actually, I think to clear them out after dinner, I'll tell them that we consummated it on the kitchen table."

"You're horrible!" Todd raised a full spoon of liquid cake as if aiming for Pepito's head. "Come on, promise me you won't."

"Oh, Todd, surely you don't want me to tell another lie." Pepito put his hand to his heart in jest, moving back a few steps when Todd moved forward with his unspoken threat in hand. "You wouldn't."

"I so would." Todd's eyes narrowed half playfully at Pepito's self-assurance. It really had been too long since anyone had thrown pre-baked goods in his face. "Promise."

"Alright, Amigo! I promise, okay?" His smile grew when Todd started to put the spoon back to work. "I promise that I'll tell them we cleaned it after!"

"Gah!" Todd's arm shot back up in involuntary outrage, and he hurled a runny, sticky clump of cake mix across the meager feet between them, laughing and then cringing when it managed to spatter Pepito nearly from head to toe. "Hahaha ... I ... uh, didn't really mean ... heh ...." He backed up as Pepito took carefully measured steps forward, actually afraid that he might have gone too far.

On his way, Pepito picked up the pan that he had set to cool, cornering his prey with an ominous air. "You're going to pay for that."

"Pepe, I'm sorry! I just-"

"No, too late now. You can't just ask forgiveness and make everything better, Todd. You have to live with the consequences of your actions."

His back hit the wall, and Todd brought his hands up to cover his face as warm, running chocolate was poured on top of his head. He shivered as it dipped down his neck and into his clothes, finally removing the hands to see a smirking, triumphant Pepito. "That ... that was..."

"That was some sweet revenge, right?" Pepito laughed at his own cheesiness.

"Yes. Yes, it was." Todd ducked under his arm, heading for his bowl again. "But we should probably hurry up and finish this because-" As soon as he was close enough he dropped the facade, arming himself with the whole bowl, smiling as Pepito backed up again with his hands raised in surrender.

"Come now, Amigo. We're even already, and we still need to finish, right?"

"Promise."

"That we're even now?"

"That you're not gonna pretend we're a couple anymore!"

"So you do want me to lie?"

"No, I want you to promise and really mean it!"

"But then I'd be lying to Minnie and Roman!"

"What? That doesn't even-ugh, you're impossible!" Todd threw the entire contents of the bowl at him. "And now you're covered in chocolate! And sour cream!"

"Fuck, that's cold!" Pepito laughed, this time almost doubling over. "Hey, Todd?"

"Yeah?"

"You're my friend."

"Y-yeah?" His courage seemed to have been lost with most of the cake mix.

"You're my friend, so now ... now I'm just going to give you a little hug."

Todd eyes widened further, and he backed up as fast as he dared. "No! That-that's okay! There's no need to-"

"No, no. I insist!" Pepito smiled as Todd caught on, lunging forward to chase him half way around the table a few times before finally catching him and making sure that he had his equal share of dessert.

"Ack! Okay! Enough!" Todd struggled against the half-demon's firm grip, finding the cake mix both cold and squishy like the variety of goo that could be found at the bottom of a mud puddle. "It's horrible! Oh, crap!"

Pepito, already being so close, managed to catch Todd when he slipped in the mess upon finally being set free, only to step on the same spot himself with both of their weight, sending them tumbling to the ground. At least Todd had the advantage of having something to break his fall, namely Pepito. "Oww. Well, this is a fine mess."

"Heh. Yeah, but you kind of deserve it, Pepe." Todd pushed himself up a little to look down at Pepito with more sympathy that his words betrayed. "You okay?"

"I can't feel my legs."

"That's probably because I'm sitting on them. Sorry." He had to bring his legs down around Pepito's waist to get enough leverage to attempt standing on the slick floor, but before he could make such an attempt, he found himself on his back with Pepito on top of him, laughing in his face. "Hey, I thought you couldn't feel your legs!"

"I lied." Pepito shrugged. "And just so you know, this is a win for me." When Todd rolled his eyes and crossed his arms indignantly, he leaned down further to lick some of the aborted cake from his cheek, watching as his composure changed instantly.

"Pepito, did you just ... lick me?"

"Mhmm."

"No. But you licked me."

"Yeah, Amigo. If you don't want to be licked, you shouldn't be so tasty."

"That's disgusting. I'm probably covered in salmonella."

"You're still so paranoid. And anyway, it was still worth it." Pepito smiled at him a little too fondly, thinking that he was also still pretty cute when he blushed until Todd started pushing on his shoulder and whispering frantically for him to get up. He pushed himself into a sitting position similar to the one that Todd had been in earlier, turning halfway around to see their dinner guests entering the kitchen. "Uh, could you guys give us just a few more minutes?"

As Minnie and Roman left again, Todd thought that his skin felt so hot that it was probably heating the kitchen floor. Wiggling out from under Pepito, he gave him a little push along the way. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Do you want me to wipe the table down?" Pepito broke out into another round of laughter after shouting loud enough for the others to hear outside his door, if that was where they happened to be, only laughing harder when Todd returned with an even louder 'yes'.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The Bramford is from Rosemary's Baby. It is based on the real New York luxury apartment building, the Dakota. Minnie and Roman are also from Rosemary's Baby. They belong to Ira Levin.
> 
> -That cake recipe doesn't belong to me! "Too Much Chocolate Cake": http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Too-Much-Chocolate-Cake/Detail.aspx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Violence, minor character death, some drama

Pepito's grip on the microphone tightened to make up for the sweat that produced slack as he smiled a fake, cheesy smile at the packed Great Lawn in Central Park before turning back to the man that was mounted on the cross center stage. "I'll ask you only once more, Swine!" He paused as there was an uproar of approval from the crowd. "Will you accept the mark or will you bow to the blade as a coward to meet your 'God'?"

The man employed what looked to have been a great effort to lift his weary head, displaying a broken and bloody nose that he had probably gotten from one of the guards when they had tied him to the beams of wood. Long nails had already been driven into several places on his arms and legs, though as of yet, nothing vital had been pierced. "N-no."

The voice was barely audible, even to him, so Pepito stepped closer, holding the microphone up, just below the criminal's neck. "What was that?"

"No. I won't do it! I would gladly lay down my life for the one and only true God!" The man's voice was worn and horse, and he had to pause to cough up blood before continuing. "You can take from me my mortal body, SATAN, but you shall never have my soul! I shall be before the throne of God while you shall perish in the pit! I shall-"

Pepito took the mic back, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe it down before speaking again himself, the other man's words lost without the audio aid. "Right, that's about enough of that." He gave the man a real, malicious smile when laughter drifted from the lawn to fill the stage, reveling in the fact that the theological shoe was finally on the right, fitting, foot so to speak. "Shall we give him what he wants?"

Another litany of approving shouts and chants rose up, and he had to set the mic aside when several of his personal guards, in full dress uniform for the affair, waltzed onto the stage. They were each accompanied by their own lances, obvious mock-ups of Lance of Longinus, and one of them stepped forward to hand Pepito one was well.

He made the first jab into the man's chest, feeling a strange mix of triumph and self-degradation at killing someone that pathetic by hand. Stepping back, he merely watched as the guards did their job of making the man bleed pints of dark red down his legs and into a drain that had been built into the stage with just this sort of thing in mind. When the criminal was almost at his miserable end, he signaled his men to spin the wheel that the cross had been mounted to, turning the Christian symbol on its head to deal the final blow.

The crowd went wild. They were suddenly singing Happy Birthday. Steamers were falling, balloons were sailing into the sky, champagne was poured and an enormous cake was presented, but Pepito's eyes never left the man on the cross. He found himself walking closer, almost automatically though no one seemed to notice, as the man let out one last breath, his head falling slack against the board to stare at Pepito with dead hazelnut eyes.

Trembling, Pepito's hand rose to wipe a blood-tainted tear from his own eye, a low whisper escaping him against his own volition, "No more light."

 

He awoke with a start, his heart beating like the inside of his chest was a ritual drum, as he sat up in bed. Wiping chilled sweat from his brow, he took in the master bedroom of his New York apartment just long enough to register his position in space and time before tossing the covers aside to make a run for the bathroom.

Emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet, Pepito was, as always, extremely disgusted by the act of throwing up. Maybe it was his demonic paternity, but he had hardly ever been sick as a kid, and could probably count the times that his body had forced him to regurgitate on one hand. He coughed a few times after, immediately going for the mouth wash and then his tooth brush. When he was finally satisfied with the taste in his mouth, he cupped his hands together, letting the cold water fill them up and splashing himself in the face.

Sighing deeply, he turned the knobs off, running a hand through his free mane of ebony hair as he glanced in the mirror. He released a gasp, accidentally pulling out a few hairs as his hand left his head so fast, when his reflection suddenly morphed into the face from his dream. The same words, 'No more light,' replayed themselves in his mind as his best friend's pale and lifeless face faded away, and he realized that it was true. That light that he loved was gone, or would be, with Todd.

Backing away from the mirror, he leaned against the frame of the bathroom door. He had to get a hold of himself! He was the Antichrist! He was practically the leader of the world, and he would not be reduced to a sniveling little weakling by something as trivial as a nightmare, even one that he knew to be fueled by real life events. But it was ridiculous! Todd wasn't going to be the next Christ! And he wasn't going to end up like the man who had been executed at Central Park two days ago because Pepito wasn't going to let him.

He walked a few feet down the hall to Todd's bedroom door, but hesitated short of knocking. Todd hadn't said a word to him, or anyone else as far as he knew, since the event had taken place, despite the fact that Pepito had apologized ad nauseam for something that had come as a complete surprise to himself as well. It had been his first public execution, orchestrated by the coven under orders from his father. The idea was to incite the masses to rid themselves of any remaining unmarked themselves, which was probably a good idea if they didn't mind losing extra souls to the martyrdom that the crucified man had probably inspired.

Still, if he had known, he certainly wouldn't have wanted Todd to be there, to have seen that. He was starting to think that maybe he had made the wrong decision by going along with their plans this time, even with the pressure of being caught off guard in front of all those expecting people. Either way, it was too late now, and all he could do was try and manage the damage.

Two damp eyelids snapped back open when Todd heard the metallic click that meant that the lock to his room was no longer in place. Soft light leaked through a slowly expanding crack, dribbling onto the foot of his bed, and he jerked the covers over his head. Maybe Pepito would assume he was actually asleep and leave him be.

"Todd? Are you awake?" Pepito whispered just in case he was, drawing closer when he received no response. Carefully, he pulled the blankets from the Squee-shaped lump on the mattress, finding himself strangely comforted by the simple act of watching his chest rise and fall.

Mentally cringing when the bed dipped with new weight, Todd clenched his eyes further shut, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep the act up for much longer. Pepito could see through it with only the slightest probing, even if pretending to be relaxed under the circumstances had been easy work.

Pepito raised a brow when Todd opened his eyes and sat up with a huff.

"What are you doing here, Pepito?"

"Oh, I, uh," he stumbled over his words, not having expected Todd to actually speak, "I needed to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not. I'm not okay." Todd looked down for a moment when his voice broke toward the end. He hadn't really planed on abandoning the silent treatment just yet, but it was amazing how lost and alone he had started to feel in the famous apartment building turned coven house since the public celebration of Pepito's birthday.

"I know. I'm sorry. Do you hate me?"

"... no. I'm just ... really disappointed. I mean, I know you were always ... always ..."

"Evil?"

"Evil," Todd smiled sadly as he considered the word, "You're own interpretation of it, but not mine. Not really."

"And now?"

"Now I feel like ... like you're not the same person anymore. I thought that I could help you, that maybe we could help each other, but now I don't know anymore. You're here with me, but you're still so far away. I-I tried ...."

"Todd ... please don't give up."

Todd shook is head to dismiss the words before regaining enough composure to continue what he had been saying, "I tried so hard to stop caring about you, but it wouldn't go away. I hate the things that you do, but somehow I still ... I don't want to lose you."

Pepito pulled him into a tight hug like he had secretly wanted to for the last two days."You're not going to lose me, Amigo."

"But I am, Pepe. I am right now. And if I keep hanging on to who you're becoming, I'm going to lose me too."

"You mean because of my policies? The camps and the androids?"

His head moved up and down against Pepito's shirt. "I tried to justify staying with you, being your friend, but ... if I'm not doing anything to stop it, then it's my fault too, and I can't ... I just can't live like this."

"Okay, Todd, it's okay." Pepito's hand found Todd's back to rub little, hopefully comforting, circles through his pajamas. He thought that it was ridiculous for Todd to fault himself on the matter, but correcting that line of thinking wouldn't work in his favor. "What if there was a way that you could do something about it? Or about one of them at least?"

"My soul?" Todd moved back a little, releasing his grip on Pepito, though he didn't bother to remove the arms that still held him. Morally, that offer was very much like the one from the Guard Station, and Pepito just didn't seem to get that. Or maybe he did. Maybe he knew that saying no would feel even worse than saying yes, and that was the point.

Pepito nodded, attempting to ignore the painful little spikes that the look in Todd's eyes seemed to send right into his heart. He couldn't afford to back down now that he was so close. "Just think about it. If you really believe what you just told me, and that the greater good is more important than one person, then don't you owe it to yourself to do what you think is right?"

"Even if it's not what you think is right?"

"Yes. In this instance. I'm going to make a lot of people unhappy if we do this, my father included, but you ... you mean a lot to me, and ... " he paused to cup Todd's cheek with a hand that had previously rested on his shoulder, "I don't want to lose you either."

Sighing when a tan thumb wiped a single tear from his face, Todd looked to the floor, wishing that he had the will to push Pepito away. He cleared his throat, swallowing thickly before speaking in a ragged tone. "What ... what exactly are you offering?"

"Basically, it comes down to this: The next production line of androids is due to ship in three days. I am prepared to halt that, recall any units in stores and launch an investigation into your claims of them being self-aware. No new models will be offered until the problem is corrected, and if you want, you can help oversee that commission."

"What about the androids that are already in service?"

"Those are private property, Amigo. When a recall is issued, the owners will have the option of returning their models for a refund, but we can't really force them. The Satanic Church has known since the Five Point Plan was drafted that the androids would effectively be a new slave race, so I don't exactly have a solid basis for this, and I'll have to word it very carefully."

"What happens to them after the recall?"

"They'll be decommissioned, although ... I suppose that isn't acceptable to you either, is it?"

"They're people, Pepito." Todd took the hand on his face into his own, moving them both down to rest on his knee. He would have glared had he not felt so emotionally worn out.

"Well, what would you suggest?"

"Give them rights. Set them free." It took a great deal of effort for him not to mention that the same sentiment should be applied to the unmarked humans as well.

"I ... fine ... if that's what it takes. But it will have to be slowly, over time. People aren't ready to accept that kind of change yet." Pepito sighed. "You have two days to think it over so that I can stop the shipment in time. Alright?"

Todd's head jerked back up so that his eyes, which he was sure were full of unadulterated shock, could meet Pepito's once again. He had truthfully not expected him to cave on something that big, and, if he was honest with himself, a part of him had hoped that he wouldn't. Then the issue would be settled yet again, and he wouldn't have to confront such a serious and confusing moral dilemma.

"Todd? Amigo? Alright?"

"Oh, al-alright. Two days?"

"Uh-hum." The hand on Todd's back moved up to his shoulder, messaging gently where he was probably most tense. "Todd, hey, I didn't mean to stress you out or anything, but look at it this way, if you're really so unhappy: this is you best chance to make a difference in the world, right? If you say yes, then you'll have the knowledge that you did all you could to make it better and you won't have to feel bad about staying with me anymore."

"Yeah." Todd gave an unsure nodd, his hand unconsciously tightening its hold on Pepito's. "Can I? Still stay with you, I mean."

"I'd like that very much." After giving him an uneven smile that hopefully masked any of his own insecurities, Pepito took him into another, much tighter embrace. They stayed like that for a long while, with the hug gradually loosening on both their parts to become more comfortable than desperate. Todd's head came to rest on his shoulder, and Pepito laughed softly against his ear when he noticed him playing with a long strand of his hair. "Did you get bored there, Amigo?"

"No. You never wear your hair down."

"It's unprofessional ... and sort of stringy."

"Then why'd you grow it out?"

"Just got tried of getting it cut, I guess."

Todd made a thoughtful noise. "I kind of like it."

"Hah. Thanks."

 When Todd laid his head back down on his shoulder, Pepito was nearly certain that he was going to fall asleep like that. It was true that he had had plenty of time for sleep as he had been locked in his room for over twenty-four hours, but the dark circles under his eyes were a testament to the likelihood that Todd had been sleeping no better than himself for the last two nights. A low rumbling from his stomach suggested that sleep wasn't all that he had been missing. "How long has it been since you've eaten?"

"Umm ...." Todd frowned when Pepito pulled away to look into his face.

"Since the party?"

"... yeah." Actually, it had been before the party, which, under the circumstances, had probably been a good thing.

"Todd!"

"Sorry?"

"You can't just starve yourself every time you're mad at me! Fuck. It looks like you're going to have to stay with someone or you'll wither away and die."

"Jesus Christ, Pepito." Todd rolled his eyes, overly familiar with the way that Pepito tended to overreact when it came to what he had always considered Todd's neglect of his own health. Still, in a way the familiarity and very basic level of caring in was comforting, reassuring.

"Oh, don't bring him into this. And just so you know, I don't allow that forty-day fasting shit in my house."

"It's been like a day and a half!"

"Yes, well, that's where it ends. Come on, I'm going to fix you something."

He didn't bother resisting when Pepito latched onto his hand to drag him to the kitchen because when all was said and done, he was really pretty hungry, and the prospect of being alone with his thoughts right then wasn't an appealing one.  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Very mild violence

Todd smacked his lips, deciding that he needed to brush his teeth to rid himself of the sour aftertaste of the milk he had consumed with dinner and the cookies afterward. Reluctantly, he worked up the will to actually peel his eyes open and remove himself from the warmth of Pepito's embrace. Moving both of Pepito's arms back to his sides, he pushed himself up into a half-sitting position on the couch, letting the blanket fall to his midsection as he studied the face of the Antichrist, the face of his best friend.

It was strange how he had always managed to look so innocent in sleep, even before he had learned to mask his infernal form. Todd's soft smile fell when a hand was suddenly on his own, which had somehow found its way to Pepito's face. He could already feel himself starting to blush. "Umm ... hi."

"Good morning, Amigo."

"I was just, uh," he stopped, deciding that there really was no explanation and maybe he didn't need one anyway. It was better to change tangents. "... getting up."

Pepito looked around, frowning at the early morning light from the eastern, living room windows and the dead cinders in his fireplace that left the apartment with a subtle arctic feel. The central heat kicked on with no more than a concentrated thought, but he retained his grip on the hand. There were still dark bags under Todd's eyes, which were also dry and blood-shot from too much crying. "Are you sure? You look like you need more sleep."

"Gee, thanks." Todd smiled sarcastically, though he was grateful that Pepito at least hadn't mentioned the fact that he had cried himself to sleep the previous night.

"Sorry." Pepito cringed at the inadvertent insult. "I know it's my fault, Todd, but that doesn't change the effect it's having on your heath, and the party isn't until six tonight. You can sleep for the rest of the day if you want."

He shook his head. "That's okay. I have a lot of thinking to do, and I want to take a walk. Don't worry, though; I'm not planning on leaving the building." Not that he could by himself if he wanted to.

"If you're sure." Releasing his hand, Pepito sighed.

"I am." Giving him a quick smile, Todd climbed to his socked feet, making a face at the cold floor as he headed to the bathroom to prepare for the day. When he had showered, shaved, brushed his teeth and dressed, he found Pepito, also dressed, waiting for him beside the door.

"Todd?" Pepito winced at how timid his voice sounded. He cleared his throat before continuing, though it was only a mild improvement. "I'll take you out, if you want. We could get breakfast after."

"Thanks, Pepe, but I really need to be alone for a while." Well, maybe not alone, but away from Pepito at least. He needed to be able to think clearly, critically, without the literal embodiment of temptation promising him eternal comfort and security. What he really needed was another opinion, and there were only two other people in the building that weren't followers of Pepito. Rosemary, who had flown in for Pepito's birthday, was out because he knew that telling her would probably result in a fight between herself and her son, so there was truly only one choice.

"That sounds familiar. It's not going to be another ten years, is it?" He shot Todd a half-hearted smile as he opened the door for him.

"I promise I'll be back before the party. Probably way before then." Todd frowned at the floor as he walked down the hall, replaying the odd behavior that he had just encountered. Pepito was usually self-assured, verging on arrogant, not whatever that had been.

He rapped his fist against the wooden door with little hesitation, hoping that he wasn't waking the damned man who lurked within. "Edgar?"

"Oh, umm, come in!"

Todd tried the knob. "It's locked!" There was a rustling from within, followed by the sound of the lock sliding out of place, and the door opened to Edgar in a housecoat and white slippers.

"Sorry, Todd! I don't know how that could have happened. Please, come in." He moved aside.

When he stepped into the small living room, Todd could see that in the dinning room breakfast was already laid out on the table, and Tess was there was well. She looked away from her plate, and their eyes meet for a second. She was dressed much the same as Edgar, suggesting that perhaps she had spent the night. He knew that over the last month, she and Edgar had gravitated to each other naturally, finding that they had a surprising amount in common, despite their outer differences. Todd and Edgar had, of course, already discovered that they both shared a common, traumatizing association with the same homicidal manic back in California, but they had failed to bond over it to the extent that Tess and Edgar had, in part because Todd didn't feel as spiteful towards Nny as the other two.

"So, what can I do for you, Todd?"

"I, umm, kind of need to talk to you about something ... alone. But I can come back. I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

Edgar frowned at his nervous tone. "No, that's quite alright. We'll just ... go somewhere private for a while."

"Don't be ridiculous, Edgar! You two stay. I'll go. And don't worry," Tess stopped them both from protesting, "I was just about done away." She raised a nearly full plate that was now leaving with her to attest to the lie as she walked by them to the door, where Edgar stopped her.

"Tess, wait! I didn't mean for-"

"Oh, it's fine, Edgar, really! Todd needs you, and you're a nice guy." She smiled. "The first nice guy that I've come across in a long time. That's why I like you." Patting his cheek a few times, she place a quick kiss there before heading back to her own apartment.

Todd rubbed his own arm through his sweater like he thought he could stave off the awkwardness in the same manner as the cold. "Sorry."

Closing the door, Edgar turned around with a real, left over smile. "Think nothing of it. Now, what was it that you needed to talk about? You're welcome to breakfast, by the way."

"Oh, no thanks." At the moment his nerves felt too on edge to put anything into his stomach. "I, uh, the thing is, I ... Pepito ...."

The smile falling from his face, Edgar took the boy by the shoulders. "What? What did he do now?"

"He asked me to give him my soul."

Edgar raised a brow. "I thought he did that to everyone. Is this the first time?"

"Oh, yeah. I mean, no, it's not the first, but it's different this time. It's ... I don't know what to do."

"Tell him no!" His voice was exasperated, and he seemed to realize, too late, that he was actually shaking Todd to get his point across. 

"But it's not that simple. And before you say anything else, just let me explain, okay?" Silence. "Okay, so he says that if I do it, if I give him my soul, that he'll pretty much put an end to the whole android enterprise."

He was quite for a moment longer, obviously expecting further explanation, but when none came, he pushed on. "Androids, Todd? That's it?"

Todd released a deep breath, removing Edgar's hands from his shoulders. "You haven't seen what I've seen, Edgar. The androids, they're ... they're not just machines. They're conscious under all those programs. They're not human exactly, but they're still people, and they're slaves, more slaves than any humans ever have been because they don't even have the option of resisting. I ... I could end that."

Edgar stared at him with wide eyes, then, finally, he nodded. "I see. What if we could find a way to make that public. I realize that Pepito would crush most people for that, but I think that you could possibly get away with it without too much suffering. Maybe."

"No. They wouldn't believe it, Edgar. We don't have real proof, and people ... most people won't believe anything that will inconvenience them. Even if they did, they wouldn't care. There's nothing in the new rules that forbids it. The people in the work camps are practically slaves too, just not so completely, and hardly anyone complains about that anymore. And even before Pepito became ... even before, people still got in line for a new I-Phone, still bought cheap junk and expensive clothes made with slave labor, even child slave labor, when they knew."

"Okay. Okay, just calm down. We have to stay calm and think. How do you know that he'll even make good on that offer if you give it to him?"

"I guess I don't, not for sure. But ... I don't think that he would lie to me about something like that."

"You can't trust him, Todd! Especially because this is a big sacrifice for him. For some reason he seems to want your soul more than most, and if that tells me anything at all, it's that you shouldn't let him have it! It means that you're useful to his purpose somehow."

"Me? Useful? I don't think so .... I'm his friend. We ... we care about each other."

Edgar slapped him, waiting for him to regain some composure before allowing himself to yell. "He's a demon, the son of Satan! And you think that he wants your soul because he loves you?"

His hand came to rest on his own stinging face, and Todd gawked at Edgar openly. "Well, when you say it like that, it does sound a little stupid, but not everything is so black and white. Demons are just fallen angles, right? And he's human too; more human than a lot of full humans I've known in my life."

"Todd," Edgar sighed again, "that's what he wants you to think. It's his way of getting to you. Seeing the best in everyone is supposed to be a good thing, but not when what you're seeing isn't really there, like with Johnny C. This is the same thing." He rubbed the nap of his own neck. "I'm, uh, sorry I hit you, but you have to see sense."

"It isn't. And even Johnny wasn't completely bad. I know that you and Tess only saw that part of him, and I'm not denying that he was a demented, psychopathic, self-centered jerk most of the time. But he had moments of clarity ... and he did save me from a pedophile that one time. But this isn't about Nny. Pepito's never been that sick. I know he has problems, but deep down ... I believe that there's good there."

Edgar shook his head in dismay. "Have you ever heard of stockholms syndrome? Sometimes when abducted hostages or domestic abuse victims are in certain situations, like yours, they bond with their captor. "

"Edgar-"

"No, I'm being completely serious here. You don't even want to leave him anymore! And it all makes perfect sense. I think that he knows exactly what he's doing. He's had enough practice being a cult leader for so long!"

"It's not a cult really-"

"See, you're defending it, him! Just like Tess. But just stop and think about it. Your situation has all of the conditions for stockholms syndrome. You've seen him torture and kill people who resist him. He's always drowning you in small, insignificant kindnesses. He's made it clear that you've no chances of escaping him, and he's brought you here to isolate you from any other perspectives so you'll eventually be forced to see things his way.

"You can't even pray here, not really! Did you know that the whole building is dedicated to Satan? Tess told me. You might as well be talking to the walls ... or to him! God, now that I think about it in perspective, it's amazing I didn't see it before we got on the plane! That Rosemary didn't see it, or at least she say it. The bastard is better at his job than he lets on!"

Todd was quiet for a few solid minutes. He leaned against the closed door, contemplating what Edgar had said and the sudden emptiness that seemed to reside in his chest. "You ... you might be right."

Nodding sympathetically, Edgar lead him to the couch before fetching him a cup of warm tea and a biscuit from the kitchen. "I'm, umm, I took a couple of psychology classes in college, but they didn't really prepare me to handle things like this, and I'm afraid that my interpersonal experiences from life were somewhat ... limited."

Todd let out a hollow chuckle, then took a careful sip of the tea. "That's okay, Edgar, I don't expect you to be my shrink. I appreciate you sharing your point of view with me, but even if you're right, I still have the same problem." He paused to choke down a few bites of the biscuit, washing it down liberally. "Is it better to sacrifice yourself for many other people or to save your own soul at their expense? I know that should be obvious, at least to me, but it seems like I'm damned either way. I mean, I definitely am if I give Pepito my soul, but the alternative ... letting so many people suffer ... what kind of God would want me to do that?"

"I'm not a Priest either."

"I know, Edgar, but you're all I've got."

"Perhaps, but look where I am and why. I died believing, you know, that I was going to Heaven. I ... Pepito said that I went to Hell because I tried to deflect my suffering onto someone else." He looked down for a moment, shame tinting his cheeks a light pink. "He said that the easiest way into Heaven is self-sacrifice. But that's the voice of the Devil, or his son at any rate. It could have been a lie or a trick. Even back that far, it could have been a part of his plan for you, that I would tell you this."

"I think he had a different plan then." He frowned at the memory of Pepito's hand holding his own, pulling the trigger on the gun in the Guard Station.

"Even so."

"Yeah ...." He downed the rest of the tea, setting the empty cup on an end table. "Thanks for listening to me, Edgar. I think it really has helped."

"But you're still conflicted?"

"Well, I still don't see a clear choice. I think I'm just going to have to go with what seems morally ... less bad to me, and hope that I'm doing the right thing. I guess in the end that all anyone can do."


	15. Chapter 15

Todd sighed into Pepito's empty bedroom, walking in further without even bothering to turn on the lights. The dim illumination from the hallway was enough to allow him to see his way to the bed, where he deposited the newly wrapped gift that he hadn't wanted to present in the presence of everyone at the party. Eyes seeking the digital clock on the nightstand, he realized that it was now past two in the morning, and Pepito was still at said party.

Most of the initiated had moved from the main room to one of the large private ones just down the hall from Pepito's apartment around eleven o'clock. The room was apparently used as a temple. He could hear the music and the chanting from the apartment, and it seemed to accentuate the lost, lonely feeling that had been building up inside him recently. He found himself wishing Edgar and Rosemary hadn't already gone to bed, and even more so that Pepito was with him.

He laughed out loud through the frown on his face at his own pitiful state, realizing that he had felt that way before, only to a much lesser extent. Back in high school he had felt a small hint of that feeling sometimes when Pepito would leave him alone, at times for weeks on end, while he paid a visit to a far away coven, or went on a field trip with a demonic tutor, or even sometimes just during Satanic holiday celebrations that he wasn't allowed to attend. It was pathetic alright, but it was also ridiculously funny because maybe Pepito wasn't the only one who was jealous of the other's religious devotion.

Deciding that he would rather give Pepito the present personally, but having no idea when the ritual would end, he climbed onto the bed. He laid atop the covers, pulling a pillow to his chest and shaking his head at himself. At least Pepito had some kind of justification for his jealousy. A tear rolled down his face as his lips formed a sad smile. Maybe what he was about to do would resolve all those feelings at least. He pulled the pillow closer, burying his face in its softness and blotting out the sound of the chanting.

The next sound he heard was a door closing rather close to himself and then a slight squeak of the mattress springs as gravity shifted his body toward a new weight that made the mattress dip on the other side of the bed. He pulled the pillow from his face, letting the even lower level of light in the room tell him what it could about the latest developments. The clock now read nearly four in the morning, his present was pressing into his stomach and there was someone else in bed with him, though they were beneath the covers instead of on top.

"Pepito?" he asked in a groggy voiced that prompted the lump on the other side of the bed to tense, then shift around until they were face to face.

"Oh, hey there, Amigo." Pepito gave him a lazy smile, letting his eyes close again before they sprung back open. "Wait. This is my room, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"Good ... good. Why are you here then?"

"Sorry, I was really tried, but I didn't want to miss you, so ...."

"Ah. Okay." Chuckling a little at Todd's awkward explanation, Pepito simply wrapped an arm around him, letting the covers fall to the midsection of his chest as he attempted to get comfortable.

"Pepe?" Todd moved the present into a less painful position in his arms when Pepito decided that there was too much space between them. "Are you naked?"

"Uh," He took his arm back to lift the covers and check. "yeah."

"Are you drunk?"

"Nope. Definitely not drunk, but I might be a little high from the tanis root that we always burn during ritual. It's effects haven't been studied very well, but it's related to marijuana, you know."

"Oh. Maybe we should talk later then."

"It's alright. I'm pretty sure that I'm just a little tried is all." Wearily, he sat up to turn on the lamp beside his bed before facing Todd again with a yawn.

"Right." Todd sat up as well, suddenly feeling nervous now that he had Pepito's undivided attention. The weight that tumbled into his lap provided him with a momentary relief from the inevitable, and he picked up the wrapped package, holding it out like shield in front of himself. "Well, happy birthday."

"Oh. Thanks, Amigo." Pepito took the gift with an amused smile, wondering why Todd had deemed the middle of the night, or very early morning as the case appeared to be, the best time to give it. "What is it?"

Todd shrugged, shooting the other an incredulous look for even asking. "If I had wanted you to know, would I have wrapped it? Open it."

"Alright, alright." A small smile broke through the mock exasperation as he untied the bow and tore through the wrapping paper to reveal the midnight blue cover of a book. On the first page, gold lettering spelled out its dedication to himself from Todd Castil with a simple message that thanked him for 'not laughing'. "Todd, you wrote me a book?"

"Well, it's more like a collection of short stories, but yeah. I couldn't think of anything to buy you because, well, you literally could have anything you want from anywhere in the world. But don't get upset, okay? Marla had it printed for me, but it's not published or anything."

"Upset? I ... this is amazing. Thank you."

"Well, you know how it's illegal for non-citizens to publish art through any medium and how it all has to be approved anyway. But you're welcome."

Pepito frowned at the passive-aggressive, unneeded reminder as his fingers ran over the smooth cover of the hardbound book. He flipped it back open to scan the index of story titles, determined not to apologize for the inconvenience that his policies had caused or the fact that this book would probably never be read by anyone but himself. In a twisted, sad way that thought was sort of comforting. It was a part of Todd that he could keep all to himself, even if he was never able to acquire his soul.

"That reminds me." Realizing that he was clutching the book to his stomach much like Todd had done with a certain stuffed bear and later sometimes with his own favorite books, Pepito laughed at himself as he slipped out of bed and deposited his present on his nightstand. "I have something for you too."

"Huh?" Todd cringed when the light was suddenly turned on, then again when he looked back at Pepito, who happened to be completely naked at the moment. Luckily, he wasn't facing Todd to see him blush, and it wasn't long before he had donned a pair of sleeping pants, then opened his closet to dig through its contents. By the time he had surfaced from its depths, he had a cardboard box that he held out for the taking.

Todd climbed out of bed as well, barely noticing a black robe that Pepito must have discarded just before joining him in bed, before taking the box easily. Pepito was always buying him new and unnecessary things, despite his frequent complaints. Soon he was going to find a way to donate some of it to charity, though he wasn't quite sure if and how that process worked anymore. "Thanks, Pepe." The words were out of his mouth before he had gotten the last of the tape off, much less seen what was inside. When he finally did manage to get it open to see familiar faux fur in the midst of a protective embrace from several hundred Styrofoam peanuts, he tone changed instantly. "Is this Shmee?"

"Yeah. I found him in your old house, hidden in the basement in a box of old junk a while back."

Todd gave the old bear a vague smile as he lifted it from the box, brushing a few peanuts away as well. Even though Shmee had stopped talking long ago, he had still held enough sentimental value that Todd had never wanted to give him away. "You searched my house? Are my parents-"

"Don't worry. They're still alive and as horrible as ever." Pepito took the box back, sitting it beside his bedroom trash can for the time being. "They still live in the same place, actually. The two of them were amongst the first to sign up for the mark. That was back when it wasn't required for legal citizens and came with a tax break."

"Heh. For such an elitist, you sure have some pretty low standards." Todd hugged Shmee closer, hoping that the humor would belie the mixed feelings that the new revelation was stirring within him. He wasn't sure how he should feel, but he was sure that whatever was appropriate should be stronger than it was, even though he hadn't thought about his parents in more than passing in years.

"Yes, well, there is a big difference between the screening for civilians and initiates. What your parents have is the equivalent of a branding."

"The sixes on their hands? How's that any different from what Marla and the other initiates have?"

"The civilian marks are accomplished by technology and a very diluted spiritual signature. They're not made with the Black Flame of Hell that the marks of the initiates are, and they don't originate from my own mark. I wouldn't offer your parents, or most people, what I've offered you in the past ..." Pepito stepped closer, taking Todd's hand into his own, "what you could still have even now, if you would only say yes."

"Pepito..." Todd looked down, searching his mind for anything that might help him out of this, if only for a small time. "H-how do I know that you would even care about me anymore if I were to say yes? What if...the reason you've always wanted me is just because you can't have me?"

"Come now, Amigo. We both know that's bull shit. I want you because I care about you and not the other way around. Do you think that if Mother ever said yes, that I would just take her soul and dump it in some proverbial pile of second rate scraps in Hell or something?"

"Well, no. She's your mother."

"You're my family too, Todd. I'll always care about you. And anyway, I don't treat any of the initiates like that. What I'm offering you is a chance to see the world like you never have before, a chance to have real power over your life, to live freely."

Todd smiled. "You really know how to pick your words to someone whose been a prisoner for so long, huh?"

Pepito nodded, but his own smile was rather sad. "You have no idea, Todd, that your real enslavement is to the old system, to that worn out and pathetic excuse for a 'God'." His free hand came up to caress the other man's face. "Come to me. Join my cause, and you will never have to fear him again."

"Pepe, I'm not afraid of him." He wasn't offended or surprised by Pepito's assumption because he had many Christians make it as well, but he didn't believe that fear was a good basis for morality or faith, especially fear of something that was supposed to be good and loving.

"You're afraid of me?"

"No." Todd shook his head, letting his free hand grip Pepito's upper arm as he moved a bit closer, hoping to ward off some of the worry that his face betrayed. Still, he had to be honest. "I'm just afraid of what you're doing, of what all those people are going through, of what this is all leading up to."

"Let me show you, Todd. Stay with me tonight. It doesn't have to be some big affair with lots of people." Pepito's hand moved from Todd's face into his hair and then to his back to pull their bodies closer. His voice got lower and a little desperate as their mouths got closer, close enough for him to feel his own breath heating Todd's lips, for him to barely touch that soft, pouty flesh as he whispered against it. "We can have our own little ritual right here."

Todd's hand tightened its grip on Pepito's arm as the heat that rose in his blood made him feel lightheaded. This was not the way he had intended to go about such negotiations! He needed to remain coherent and in control. "Pepito, stop it!" he finally screamed, pushing Pepito out of his personal space with enough force to land him on the bed.

"Stop what?" Pepito sat up where he had fallen, pushing his own hair from his face. He let a trace of irritation come out in his voice to mask the guilt that really should have been there.

"That thing that you do!" Todd stomped his foot, only then noticing that he must have dropped Shmee during Pepito's overture. He quickly bent down to retrieve him before launching immediately back into his point. "That creepy, manipulative, seductive thing when you're trying to get someone's soul!"

Pepito smiled. "You think I'm seductive?"

"That's not funny, Pepito. This is really hard for me, and that's not helping your case, so you might as well knock it off."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Could you ... could you just stop being the Antichrist for a few minutes and be my friend? I could really use one right now."

"Todd ... I'm always your friend. Come here." Pepito stood up to open his arms, dropping the old teddy bear onto his bed and pulling Todd into a tight hug when he had finally managed to walk slowly over to his person. One of his hands managed to find its way into that hair again, and he hoped that it was obvious that this time it only sought to comfort. "You know you don't have to make a decision right now, right? You can sleep on it. And if you decide not to, you don't have to say anything at all. Okay?"

"Pepe? Can I ask you some questions?" The words were slightly muffled against Pepito's neck, where Todd's face was currently seeking refuge.

"Of course."

"Why did you bring me here?"

Pepito's brow creased. "To New York?"

"New York, the Bramford."

"Because I enjoy your company, and I wanted you here for my birthday."

"There wasn't any other reason?"

"Any other reason, such as?"

Todd lifted his face to look Pepito in the eyes. "Like to isolate me from things, from beliefs, that you don't approve of?"

"No. Not purposefully in any case, though I must admit that I was hoping that living here for a time would help you to realize that being on my side doesn't automatically make someone a mindless minion or a needlessly cruel person."

"Was that a lesson I was supposed to pick up from the public celebration? Because I must have missed it when you were busy stabbing that man to death."

Pepito sighed. "You know that I didn't plan that. I'm sorry that you had to see it, that it happened to begin with, okay? It wasn't the way that I would have dealt with that issue, but that decision was made while I was in California."

"So why did you do it if you thought it was wrong? And, back to the point of what you were saying, doesn't that send the message that your people are needlessly cruel at least?"

Todd didn't mean for any hostility to accompany the statement. He last thing he wanted right now was an argument, but he found that he couldn't apologize for it. It was no secret that he had yet to forgive Pepito completely for the violent display, but he pulled him closer all the same, hoping that he would understand the contradictory actions.

Frowning at the tone, but willing to accept that he deserved it, Pepito forced himself to be patient as he explained his position. "I didn't say that I thought it was morally wrong. I just think that it was the wrong political angle. The man that died that day was happy to do so. He continually agitated and allowed himself to be taken in on purpose because what he wanted more than anything was to become a martyr. There was no way that I would have been able to convince him to give in, and he wouldn't have wanted mercy either."

"That's sick."

"Yes, it is. And it's just the kind of thing that Christianity encourages. He would have eventually forced my guards to kill him through repeatedly and publicly breaking laws. The coven made a mistake with giving his death the publicity that he wanted, but they weren't all in favor of that. Open disagreement is allowed. I don't demand blind obedience."

Todd let out a deep breath, giving up on the argument that was only delaying the inevitable. Even if they never agreed about that, it wasn't going to change anything. "If I do this, if I give you my soul, what happens to me then? What would I have to do?"

"You have to renounce the Judeo-Christian 'God,' Yahweh. Then you have to swear alliance to me and my father."

"What about afterwards?"

"Afterwards?"

"What happens then? To me ... what do I have to do when I ... when I ...."

"You don't have to do anything after that, Amigo. My only stipulation is that you continue to be my friend. But if you want, I'm sure I could find you satisfactory employment. You'll be free to live on your own, of course, if that's what you desire. And, pending approval, you're books could be published then."

"Pepito, I ... I love you, but if you're lying to me about this, about the androids, or if I have to hurt anyone afterwards, I won't be able to forgive you for that. Ever."

"I'm not lying, Todd. Trust me and I'll trust you too."

Todd nodded.

"Is that a yes?"

He closed his eyes to let the word slip from his lips as if not being able to see it and Pepito's reaction would somehow soften the impact that it would have on his soul. "Yes."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Cheesy, clichéd "Satanic" stuff, very mild blood play

Pepito pulled him even closer at the affirmation, wishing that he knew how to express how much it meant to him, but knowing that words, under the circumstances, would be inadequate. He only loosened his embrace when Todd released a small squeak at its tightness. "Heh. Sorry, Amigo. Do you want to schedule a time for later this week?"

Taking a deep breath and a step back, Todd raised a brow, swallowing thickly to try and abate the stillness that was growing inside. It was too still, like the calm before the storm. "I thought we had to do it by tomorrow because of the android shipment."

"Yes, well, I needed your answer before tomorrow, but now that I have it, I'll make the call to have the shipment halted." He smiled. "Trust, remember?"

Todd nodded his head, forcing himself to return the small smile, and wishing that it meet his eyes. "Thank you, Pepito. I do trust you, and I'm glad that you trust me too, but can we do it now?"

"Now? Are you sure?"

"If we wait, I don't know if I can go through with it."

"Very well. If you don't mind ditching the ceremony, we're going to strip the ritual down to the basics, alright?"

"A-alright."

Pepito took Todd's right hand into his own, pulling him behind him as he left his bedroom, heading instead down the hall to his personal office. Pushing the door open, he stepped inside, feeling Todd's hand tighten its grip on his own just before he must have flipped the light switch. "Thanks."

Releasing Pepito's hand, Todd made no reply. He waited with his own hands now clasped together in front of himself, his fingers moving rhythmically against the outside of his hands to maybe help release a tiny amount of the stress that he could already feel building up as he watched Pepito open one of the drawers that belonged to one of three metal filing cabinets behind his desk. Less than a minute passed, according to the clock on the wall that now read four o' eight in the morning, but it felt like more. Time seemed to drag itself out to torture him, to make sure that the memory of this decision would hound him with every nuance of its importance for the rest of his life. No, for the rest of eternity.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked to break the weight that the silence seemed use to press down upon him like a boulder in a medieval witch trial.

Selecting a thin paper from the folder he had been seeking, Pepito looked back up at Todd as he closed the drawer and walked back around to the front of his desk. "Getting you a contract." He set it down on the mahogany with the words facing them. "You can look it over if you like."

With another jittery breath, Todd stepped forward to examine the document, only slightly deterred when Pepito's arm wrapped itself around his shoulders.

"It's a standard contract, pretty straight forward, but let me know if you have any questions." Pepito gave Todd's shoulders a squeeze before breaking away to look through a closet that took up most of the sparse space that the small room, lined with several book shelves side-by-side, could afford it.

"S-sure." Picking the parchment up nearly made Todd's hands tremble, but he tightened his grip, reminding himself that he had already committed himself to this course of action. There was no acceptable alternative, and stumbling half-heartedly through the whole thing wasn't going to make it any less real. He read the contract over, finding that it was indeed pretty straight forward.

The basic agreement was that he had to pledge his undying alliance to the service of the Dark Messiah, Pepito Adrian Diablo, and through him his father, along with the general movements of core Satanic principles on the Earth as well as in other realms, which he assumed referred to Heaven and Hell. Of course, in so doing he had to renounce their enemies as well.

There were three other sections. Two of them contained a paragraph or so of blank lines each where any additional terms of the respective parties could be written out. The bottom section contained two signature lines, one for the Initiate as well as one for the approving Adept, above a blank box. "What's this box at the bottom for?"

Setting several black and red candles on the desk beside where Todd was still standing with the contract, Pepito leaded over his slouched shoulders to look at what he already knew was there. "Blood."

"B-blood?"

He smirked. "Just a small bit from one of your fingers to seal your commitment." To bring the point home, Pepito also placed a small razor blade on the desk after clearing away most of its usual, more mundane, accessories. "Are you finished with that yet, Amigo?"

"Aren't you going to fill it out?"

"Of course." He pulled a custom made pen from a side drawer in the desk, taking the contact back delicately so that he could write out the details of their arrangement in big, looping, important-looking letters that were made much more carefully than those produced by his everyday handwriting.

Todd leaned over the desk, watching the process upside down with a mix of dread and awe. "Is that blood too?" He gestured to the wet, crimson ink that made the paper seem to bleed.

"Tree blood." Pepito looked up to give him a quick, amused smile. "Resin."

"Ah."

"So, I've got your demand about the androids down, as well as the stipulation that you not be commanded to harm anyone. Is there anything else you'd like while I'm at it?"

"Anything else?"

"Oh, no." Pepito shook his head as he realized the kind of upheaval he had just invited. "Not anything else in the line of 'saving the world'. I mean for yourself."

 "Oh. Thank you, but no."

"Really? You can't think of anything you want?"

"Not anything that would be real, really real, and not horribly wrong, if I wished for it."

Pepito raised a brow. "Like what?"

"I said I don't want anything else." Todd crossed his arms over his chest, not sure why Pepito was being so insistent. "You're already getting what you want. Can't we just leave it at that?"

"Yes. Of course. I just ... I was just curious about what it is that you want that you think would be unreal and wrong. I apologize."

"I only meant ... things that violate other people's free will." Looking up to meet his eyes, Todd continued. "Things like wishing for parents that loved me."

Pepito cringed, remembering the one time that he had offered Todd that very thing in early high school. He had thought that he had almost had him then, but instead the night had ended in tears when he had explained the different methods by which the task could be accomplished. "Sorry, Todd."

"It's alright. Just don't try to tack anything else on."

"I wouldn't do that against your wishes." He handed the contact back to Todd with both of the terms sections filled out. "And I hope that you know by now that you're better than them, that you don't need them, spell or no spell."

Todd only nodded again as he looked over the contact one final time, finding in all in order. He set it back on the desk. "What now?"

Standing up, Pepito pushed in his chair, arranging the candles throughout the office so that by the time he turned the overhead light off, he and Todd could both make out each other and the contract fairly clearly. It felt odd doing this with so little of the usual props, and kind of sad, but he figured that all of that might just be intimidating for someone in Todd's position anyway. If he wanted, they could always have another induction ceremony later, when he was more comfortable with the prospect. "Repeat after me, and make sure that you mean it because I can sense the truth in you heart."

"I know."

"I'm going to do this in my infernal form so that I can give you the mark. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Well, I certainly hope so." Todd let out a small attempt at a laugh. "It's not like I've never seen it before, right?"

"Right. I just want to make sure you're prepared. When the process starts, there will be a tingling in the palm of your hand that will grow. It's going to feel like it's spreading through your veins throughout your body, anchoring you to me."

Todd felt a chill run up his spine at the description, repulsed, but also strangely intrigued. "Will it be painful?"

"It shouldn't be. It's intense, but pain isn't usual. Tell me it you feel any, alright?"

"Okay."

"Ready?"

"As I'm gonna be." Todd felt Pepito's left hand take his right, letting his line of vision settle on their contrasting skin as he felt a light fuzzy feeling at the place of contact that was the beginning of Pepito's infernal nature losing its restraints, coming to the surface to coexist with his usual human body. The skin on the tan hand soon became an olive green color that almost glowed in the darkness. And then it happened. Pepito's hand tightened its grasp, pressing their palms together, and he could feel the radial series of three sixes burning into his flesh. They didn't seem to be causing any physical pain, but spiritually, it felt a bit like someone had pressed a very warm, conductive mental with a low voltage to his ... his soul, he guessed. 

He looked up at the sudden feeling, eyes widening at Pepito's form despite that he had seen it before. Pepito's horns had grown since the last time, now starting to double back under his ears in a spiral that would probably someday look like his father's. His skin was a deeper green that dominated his normal skin color instead of simply coexisting with it like it once had, but his eyes were the most alarming part. His irises had always been two different shades of red, but now his pupils were enormous, and such a deep and pure black that they seemed to draw all of the light in the room into themselves. The flames from the candles danced within them, making them look as if they were windows into Hell itself instead of into someone's soul. 

"Todd, are you alright?" Pepito's free hand came to grasp Todd's upper arm through the fabric of a cotton night shirt, attempting to steady him.

"Y-yeah."

"It's still just me." Speaking in a reassuring voice that he knew probably contrasted with his appearance, Pepito took a careful step closer.

Todd forced himself to remain in place, even though a part of him wanted to flee, and another wanted to tuck himself completely into Pepito's arms in some sort of ludicrous ploy for protection from the very person who was orchestrating the situation. "I know."

"We're going to start now, okay?"

"Yes." Todd took a deep breath and held it, imagining, against his own desires, that he was about to take a never ending plunge into that all too infamous abyss.

"Do you promise on your eternal life to abide by the terms written within this contract?"

He was forced to release the breath when he realized that he wasn't just a spectator in the ritual. "Yes. I do." It took another moment before he remembered what Pepito had said before about repeating him. He needed to calm down. Anxiety seemed to effect his thinking process, usually speeding it up to an indiscernible rate, but sometimes slowing it down instead. "Oh. I promise on my eternal life to abide by the terms written within this contract."

"That's right." Pepito nodded, relaxing more himself now that Todd seemed to be getting a grasp on himself and the situation. His hand moved up and down on the arm he was holding in hopes of offering some extra comfort. "Do you swear to serve the purposes of the Dark Messiah and the Lord Satan in both life and death?"

"I s-swear. I swear to serve your purposes...uh, the purposes of the Dark Messiah and the Lord Satan in both life and death." Todd was forced to close his eyes for a moment as the burning feeling in his hand did actually feel like it had somehow latched onto the veins inside his arm. With every confirmation, it moved further into his body, but it wasn't completely bad. It reminded him of the chemicals that he had been forced to ingest before the MRI that time that the doctors had thought he had cancer, too warm and unnerving to be comfortable, but just a notch or so before registering as actual pain.

"Do you promise to be true to the inner teachings of Satanism, and to the voice of Satan within yourself, within us all?"

"Uh, Pepito, I don't really know what that means."

"Oh, the inner voice?"

He nodded.

 "Original sin, basically. The search for knowledge and truth, the rage against blind dogma."

"Oh. That's ... not so bad, I guess." He cleared his throat when Pepito gave him an amused look before finally repeating the statement as best he could, pausing for another beat as the heat moved again. Pepito waited too, and Todd guessed that he could tell when it was okay to ask another question. He wondered what it felt like from the other end.

"And do you reject as false the 'one true God' of the Hebrews, he who calls himself Yahweh or 'I am'?"

"I ... I reject as false the God of the Hebrews, he who calls himself Yahweh."

"Do you deny his son, Jesus Christ, that charlatan whose vile words have poisoned this world with weakness for over two thousand years?"

A tear rolled down Todd cheek as he looked back and forth between Pepito and the burgundy rug on the floor of the office. It was easier to reject the older form of God because, as he had told Pepito all those months ago, that God ... well, he hadn't been very nice. "I deny Jesus Christ as my personal God and savior. Is that okay? You said you'd know if I lied, right? I think that, if I say it the way you said it ...."

"Sure, Amigo. I suppose, under the circumstances that's ... adequate." Actually, in Todd's case, that was probably more than adequate. Pepito wasn't necessarily trying to engender the wrath needed for a Satanic warrior in this instance. No, he just wanted Todd to be safely on his side, and, if he could help it, out of any line of fire when the time came. "Now, just one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"The Holy Spirit."

"What?"

"I need you to reject it too, to deny its presence within the world and yourself."

"But ... Pepe, that's ... that's everything."

"Everything that ties you to Christianity, yes."

Todd shook his head, feeling Pepito's grip tighten more as his body began to tremble against his will. "Not just Christianity. Everything."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. The Holy Spirit exists only within the demented and impoverished minds of those who choose to believe that their behavior is constantly monitored by the giant eye in the sky that is just waiting to punish their every natural inclination."

"That's not ... not what ... oh, God ...." Pepito didn't understand! But why would he? But Todd couldn't do that! He just couldn't. It was bigger, so much bigger. And he had never realized just how much bigger himself. But it was everything, the trees, the sky, the stars, the people. It was himself and even Pepito too, and that seemed to be a contradiction.

"Todd. Todd! Snap out of it!" Pepito was forced to move with Todd when he fell back against the wall rather than break the link between them. Todd's eyes weren't focused, and he could feel his pulse sky rocketing where their wrists were pressed together. Finally, he slapped him, lightly the first time and then a little harder, which seemed to help because their eyes meet again. "Calm down, please."

Forcing himself to take slow, deep breaths, Todd whispered his words out between them, certain that Pepito would hear because their faces were currently so very close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just ... I don't ... I don't think I can."

"Shhh," Pepito soothed, "You can, Amigo. You just need to relax and realize that what I'm telling you is the truth. You're almost there. You said you trusted me too, remember."

Todd nodded.

"Then just say it, say that you reject it. Come on, Todd, just one word."

Todd looked back up at him with watery eyes. "The Holy Spirit, like you said, of the Christian God?"

"That's right, Squee." Pepito petted Todd's hair, tucking the dark brown strands behind his ear, where they barely reached at the current length. "Do you reject the Holy Spirit and its infringement into your life and personal decisions?"

"Y-yes. Yes." The words were the lowest, most broken that he had spoken yet, but Pepito must have heard and accepted them because he felt another, stronger wave of the heat. This time it felt like his entire being was awash with it. The beating of his heart felt synchronized with Pepito's, even after most of the heat had left when their hands were finally separated, and he allowed the pulsing rhythm to pacify him as much as it could. "Is it over?"

"Almost." Pepito kissed Todd's forehead gently before helping him to stand instead of lean against the wall. He pulled him back over to the desk, handing him the pen that he had used earlier. "Now comes the easy part."

Todd's lips formed a half smile. Pepito was right. Signing a piece of paper was easy after what he had just done. He could only hope that it was as binding as the spoken promises because it was what contained his own terms of the agreement. He sighed his full name, setting the pen aside for the razor blade afterward, only to have Pepito take it from him.

"Give me your hand, please." Pepito held out his own to take it, stroking the fresh mark in the palm a few times to watch Todd squirm at the feeling. Then he steadied the hand and made a shallow cut down the tip of the thumb, squeezing it a little so that several drops of blood came to the surface. "Now, you just need to press your finger to the box on the contract to leave a print."

Todd did as he was told, stepping back to stare at the bloody imprint in the candle light as Pepito tossed the razor into a wast basket and then signed the contract himself. It was done. Completely, utterly, irrevocably done. He had sold his soul.

"Don't be sad, Amigo." Pepito draped his arm around his shoulders again, this time facing him. "I know it may not feel like it right now, but everything is going to be okay."

"I'll try." Todd looked down for a moment as the words passed through his lips, but the feeling of a warm, wet tongue slowly licking the remaining blood from his finger had his head shooting back up to meet Pepito's gaze. Once they had eye contact, the finger was slipped into Pepito's mouth, where it was given a few good sucks before being removed. "P-peito, what are you doing?"

"I know, know, think of the germs, right?" Pepito laughed, taking the blush that was barely visible in the candle light as a good sign. Todd wasn't too wrapped up in misery to be affected by anything else, at least.

"Y-yes! And ... and the creepiness!" He looked around. "Oh, wait. Have we surpassed that?"

"Maybe. But you don't need to worry." Pepito ran his own finger over the cleaned cut, healing the small wound, and then releasing the hand for Todd's inspection.

"Gah! Now your germs are just sealed up in my blood stream!" That statement reminded him of the heat that was now in his soul, which was making all of his germ arguments seem weak at best, but he was still thankful for the distraction.

Laughing genuinely now, Pepito took the contract and slipped it into a plastic sleeve. He sealed it air tight before putting it back into a different drawer and locking it up. When he made his way back to Todd he took his hand again, willing away the light of the candles to leave them in darkness as he concealed his infernal form once again. Finally, he opened the door. "Come on. Let's go sleep all day."

"Okay. Pepito?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have any sleeping pills?"

"Yes."

"Could I-"

"Of course."

Pepito led Todd back into his bedroom, pulling down the covers on the other side of the bed and actually tucking him in. He handed him Shmee before he left to get water and the pills. He hadn't asked if Todd wanted to sleep with him, and Todd hadn't seemed too offended by the treatment. Pepito wasn't surprised, when he finally laid down his head, that Todd scooted closer, wrapping an arm around him for security. When they were younger, Todd had sometimes needed this sort of 'parent replacement therapy', as he had come to think of it, after something traumatic had happened. He realized as he returned the embrace that even after all those years, it was still an assumption that they both made.

It would have made him happy if it hadn't meant that Todd was upset, and that he had been the cause of it.  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: themes of depression, self-harm, minor S&M.

Todd took a deep breath as a strong wind whipped his hair back and across his face. He almost wished that it was still winter so that same breeze could chill him to the bone the way it had a month ago, just so he could feel something other than the alternating moods that had been occupying him ever since he had sold his soul. The April wind didn't quite do the trick, and the numbness, which was possibly the worst of the feelings, persisted even as he stood atop the building overlooking both the city and the park.   

Most of the citizens were still going about their business as usual, though there was now a slight but noticeable lessening of the number of androids, most of whose presence was only indicated by the collars they wore to make their status as non-people obvious, in the mix. He forced a small smile.

As Pepito had predicted, the still-ongoing investigation had indeed caused an uproar amongst citizens and Satanists alike. He had heard that even the underground, made up mostly of illegal non-citizens of Christian ilk, had found a way to turn the decision against Pepito, saying that it was the beginning of a world in which human dignity was stripped away completely; made meaningless by the potential recognition of machines as people. It reminded him sickeningly of similar arguments put forth by similar people in the past against other groups of humans, and the fact that both groups of conflicting people seemed to agree that the androids merited no rights and had no souls reinforced the numbness.

He sighed, walking to the ledge of the building, speaking softly into the wind. "Maybe the choice was always meaningless, just like my life."

"So what, you're gonna jump now?"

At the unexpected sound, he almost did, though not on purpose. Catching his breath, he spun around to see Marla standing mere feet behind him.

She smirked at his surprise, crossing her arms over her chest. "I doubt it would do you much good, especially now."

"Uh, hi, Marla. I, uh, wasn't really going to." Todd swallowed a little harder than he meant to when her eyes narrowed at him. "Are you mad at me or something?" The two of them hadn't spoken very much since his initiation, and even then Marla's words of congratulations had been short and forced.

"Mad? No. Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know, but you seem mad, and I don't-oh."

She raised a light brown brow. "Oh, what?"

"Is it because I'm living with Pepito? Because it's really not like that. We just-"

"Oh, please. Just stop. I don't care."

"O-oh."

"Seriously, you think I'm jealous?"

"Well ... back in California you two seemed to be really ... intimate and you requested to be relocated here after his birthday, so I just thought-"

"I am not jealous, Todd." Marla took a step closer, the wind blowing her hair back to make her look even more menacing. "You got that?"

"Y-yes. Okay. Whatever you say." He fought the urge to back up, even when she was in striking distance. She had been right, after all. Dying, even on accident, wouldn't change his situation too much at this point.

"Good. Because I don't care if he's fucking your righteous little brains out anymore. He owns your soul now, so you might as well do it if it's what you want. It's not like we can get any more damned than we already are." She turned on the heel of her boots to storm back into the building the way she had come, leaving him alone once again. Alone and confused. Very, very confused.

At least the immense confusion broke through the mental fog to make him feel something. Part of him wanted to go after her, to question her, but for now he decided to take the cautious path and head back to the apartment. He waited a good five minutes to make sure that she wasn't lurking it the stairwell before starting the trek back, replaying her harsh words in his mind.

He could honestly say that he had no idea what that outburst had been about. Until the last bit, he had been pretty sure that she was, in fact, jealous, but then why was she upset about Todd's soul and Todd's sex life, or lack there of as the case happened to be, instead of Pepito's? And besides that, everyone who knew him even fairly well knew that Pepito slept around with whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He had been like that at least since high school, and, as he had told Todd quite a few times before, if he ever got around to actually getting married, it would probably be to multiple spouses. Of course, that kind of thing was apparently normal in Hell.

Todd scratched his head as he let himself back into the apartment, wishing that Edgar was still around so that he could talk to him about this new weirdness. He frowned. Even if Edgar was still there, he doubted that he would have any words to spare for him. He would never forget the look on his face when he had found out that Todd had actually gone through with selling his soul. Rosemary's reaction had been much the same, with the addition of tears and a jittery, forced hug. He could tell, even then, that it was a goodbye hug. She had actually slapped Pepito in front of at least five coven members before leaving, and as far as he knew, mother and son hadn't spoken since.

His own tears made his eyes watery as he made his way into the kitchen to make a quick sandwich so that Pepito wouldn't lecture him about healthy eating when he returned from work. He wiped them away forcefully, placing a tomato on a cutting board and reaching for a large knife that reminded him of his old childhood neighbor.

Pepito had assured him that it wasn't his fault; that Rosemary would come around eventually, like always, but Todd had his doubts. Pepito must not have noticed how worn she had begun to look after the execution on his birthday, how she had spent almost all of her time in New York with Edgar and himself instead of her own son. And now he was lost to her too, and maybe that was the last straw.

Shit. Now he was depressed again. It wasn't as bad as the numbness; at least he felt something, but it was so hopeless. There was no way out of what he had done, and he hadn't even managed to hurt only himself like he had thought either.

He abandoned the tomato to wipe away more tears, then turned away from it in disgust with himself. Leaning against the counter, he let himself slide down to sit upon the floor. This was where he belonged. Bringing both hands up to hold his head, he noticed that he was still holding the knife and absently brushed it sideways across the khakis he was wearing to clean it of juice and seeds. He maintained the motion even after the blade was clean, snagging a few treads that left small holes in the fabric. It didn't matter.

It didn't matter when the fabric tore, or when he turned the knife around to saw a long slit into the pants. It didn't matter when he eventually started to cut into flesh and the blood turned the edge of the slit a light red. Actually, that part was kind of nice, the way it overrode the numbness and the sadness. For a few glorious seconds each time the knife went in to his skin, there as only the physical sensation of pain. Compared to the mental pain, it was Heaven ... or as close as he was ever going to get at this point.

 

Pepito's lips curved into a slight smile when he discovered that the door to his apartment was already unlocked. Todd might have been a moopy, self-adsorbed, irritable mess for the last couple weeks, but at least he was finally starting to get over his fear of living in a coven house full of Satanists now, which was good because he practically was one. He smile grew. Even though he had no shortage of things to worry about, even though his mother still wouldn't return his phone calls, one of his biggest fears had been eliminated, and that was worth celebrating.

"Hey, Todd!" he began as he closed the door, "I picked up some box tickets to a new play that I think you'll like! It's supposed to be a western-style space opera with a-" His voice died when he reached the kitchen, and his leather satchel fell to the floor. Todd was braced against the counter, sitting in a small puddle of blood, his lap covered with an equally bloody, torn pair of pants that seemed to have started out on his body at one point. "What ... what the-hell-happened here?"

Todd made a squeaking noise, pulling the pants closer to his body. He would have made a run for it when he heard Pepito yell his name, but in this end of the apartment there was no where to go. "Ummm ... n-not much ... I just, uh-"

"You just what, Todd?" Pepito forced himself to breath deeply as he took cautious steps toward his friend before finally going down to his level. Todd was looking down now, not meeting his gaze. He made a futile effort to hold on to the stained pants with one hand when Pepito pulled them away to reveal boxers that were also stained red and several cuts, some deep, crisscrossing up and down his upper legs and probably the thighs that he couldn't see as well.

"Fuck." Pepito let out a harsh sigh, just as angry with himself for not having seen the signs that it was getting this bad as he was at Todd for doing it. "Todd, look at me." He reached out to lift his chin to insure compliance, not surprised at all to see the tears running down his face. "What's behind your back?"

Slowly, Todd brought the knife from behind him where he had stupidly been keeping it out of sight for the past few minutes as if Pepito wouldn't have been able to figure out what had gone on. He let him take it easily, thinking that maybe the lost blood was making him light-headed. Somehow everything was suddenly just a little too hilarious, in a fatalistic sort of way.

Examining the blade with a disapproving glance, Pepito tossed it into the sink to his right before turning back to Todd. "You know, using a kitchen knife is really dangerous. You could get a staph infection." His eyes narrowed when Todd laughed through his tears. "This isn't funny."

"Yeah, it kind of is. I thought I was the one that obsessed with infections and germs."

"Apparently not if you're willing to do something like this." Pepito rolled is eyes, scooting closer and summoning a roll of paper towels to wrap around the cuts. "I thought you agreed to stop doing this a long time ago."

"Heh. Oh yeah, I guess it just slipped-ow!" He looked down at the source of the pain, where Pepito had pressed the paper towel onto one of the cuts just a little too hard.

"I said it's not funny."

"Sorry."

"That's better. Come here." Pulling a cloth towel down from the stove, Pepito placed it under the bottom of Todd's legs, warping the ends over the already covered cuts before lifting him and heading for the bathroom, where he deposited him in the double whirlpool tub. Next he rounded up a bottle of alcohol, more towels, a clean rag and some bandages. Kicking off his shoes, he stepped in himself, sitting Indian style in front of the other to peel off the paper towels and chuck them into a near by trash can. "When I said that no one would harm you again, I didn't think that I would need to include yourself."

"I don't think I'm really harmed. Aren't you the one that was always going on about the difference between hurting and harming someone? I think it had something to do with your sexual practices, and how pain and pleasure are related."

Pepito looked up at him in exasperation from the now uncovered cuts. "So you're saying that you like this? It feels good?"

"Ha. Maybe, Pepe. Why-ouch! Jerk."

"I thought you liked it."

"Not when you twist like that!"

"Ah, I see." Pepito nodded just as sarcastically as Todd earlier words. His hand smacked the side of the nearest leg, far enough from any cuts that it should have only produced a slight singing. "So, you want me to get the knife again? Or maybe a razor blade?"

Crossing his arms over his chest indignantly, Todd was tempted to tell him to go ahead, but in the back of his mind he knew it was probably not the best idea. His old best friend wouldn't have called that kind of bluff, but this Pepito just might.

"Well? Amigo? I'm waiting."

Todd's eyes widened as one of Pepito's fingers slowly made its way down one of the cuts on his leg. The sensation was so light that it barely hurt the first time, but the second time there was more pressure, and he slapped it away quickly. "Stop it!"

"Is that a 'no'?"

"Yes! That's a big no!"

"You sure?"

"You could see it from space, okay!"

Pepito snorted. "Okay."

"God, you're infuriating."

"Isn't he though."

Todd shook his head. "I was talking about you."

"Aww. Todd, you don't have to call me God just because I am yours now."

"Arg!" Todd threw his hands into the air. "Why are you being so mean!"

"Because you're irritating the hell out of me!" Catching the still fidgeting hands, Pepito pulled them back down, holding them over Todd's lap until he was fairly certain they would stay there. "Why are you being such a sarcastic, quarrelsome little bitch?"

"Because I!" Todd suddenly looked down. "... I don't really know."

"Well, could you knock it off? Because I will if you will."

"I'll try."

"Thank you. Hold still."

"Oww! I thought you said you'd stop!"

"It's alcohol, Todd. It's going to hurt. You're right though; this is kind of fun for me." He smirked.

"That figures. Hurry up and get it over with." Todd sighed when Pepito showed no signs of acquiescing his request. "Please."

"Very well." Turning the bottle upside down, Pepito poured the remaining contents across Todd's legs, boxers and all, in one go. "Better?"

Releasing his lower lip from the grip that his teeth still wished to maintain, Todd grit out a reluctant "yes".

"Good." Pepito shuffled even closer. "Now lean back and relax. I'm going to heal as much as I can of this, but some of it might have to be bandaged."

"But-"

"Nope. Don't even start to argue. If you won't let me heal it, then I'll buy you some short shorts so you can show it off. And they won't be optional."

Todd felt his mouth drop open, but nothing came out. He sent Pepito a quick glare to make sure that he knew that his latest threat wasn't appreciated before complying with the apparent order. He leaned back against the cool wall of the large tub, letting his eyes close as he felt Pepito's hand applying some kind of cold, creamy substance to his legs. "Being a follower sucks."

"Quiet you."

"See. You could have told me it was going to be like this."

"Why are you still talking?"

"Because I'm bad at it; being a follower."

"I know. That's one of the reasons I like you." Silence. "By 'like this' you mean me telling you what to do? Is it usually like this, Todd? Because as far as I can tell, you're the one forcing it to be this way. I don't know why you're being so immature when you could just tell me what the fucking problem is."

"I don't think you'd understand. I don't think anyone would understand anymore." Cringing when his voice broke toward the end, Todd hide his face behind both hands, breathing slowly in hopes that he wouldn't break down and actually cry ... again. He felt the hands on his legs slow down, and cleared his throat so that he could say something, anything else, before Pepito did. "What's that cold stuff?"

"Huh?" Pepito looked down at what he was doing. "Oh, just antibacterial cream. It softens the friction ... you know, so it doesn't hurt as much when I touch the cuts."

"Oh. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, seriously, be quiet so I can focus. I haven't had a lot of practice at this for a while." When Todd didn't make any reply, Pepito closed his eyes and went back to work, relieved that he could already feel the magic starting to work. It was actually a pretty simple thing to heal this kind of damage, but with a certain someone purposefully pushing his buttons it wasn't so easy to get the process started.

Todd kept his face behind his hands, not only because it minimized his ability to talk, but because the situation was ridiculously awkward. After the initial coldness went away, Pepito's hands started to warm, making his legs feel tingly. It was sort of comforting, soothing, and sometimes it tickled in a way that didn't exactly make him want it to stop. He could see now why Pepito had deemed it best to knock him out last time, and he also started to worry that maybe he had lied to Marla a bit earlier.

It wasn't as if Pepito had never healed him before. It had happened not infrequently in middle and high school, but the injuries were usually in less ... embarrassing places. But Todd didn't think that it was just placement really. There was something else too; another feeling that he couldn't seem to shake lately. He wasn't sure if it was a result of the selling of his soul, or of his being isolated here for so long or something else entirely, but being around Pepito seemed to drive away the numbness and depression, at least for the most part, even if they were fighting.

He bit his lip when the hands slid under the edges of his boxers, running up to heal the cuts under them. Small bouts of laughter escaped him as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks, and he felt his breathing pick up against his will.

"Todd? Are you okay?" One of Pepito's hands left a thigh to gently pull one of Todd's hands from his face, which was revealed to be red and wet. "Do you want me to stop?"

Todd shook his head, wiping his face yet again with the back of his free hand. "No, it's alright. Just hurry, please. It's not ... I know it's not ... I'm not afraid." That wasn't entirely true. The scary part was that he knew that what he was afraid of wasn't what either of them would have expected. He was afraid because this didn't brother him in the most amazing, terrifying way. Luckily there weren't as many cuts on his thighs as there had been on the rest of his legs, so the process went by fairly swiftly, allowing him to breath properly once again.

"Okay," Pepito said, rubbing the remaining cream form his hands onto his own pants, which had already acquired a few blood stains when he had carried Todd to the bathroom, "you're all better now."

"Great." Todd braced both hands on the sides of the tub behind him, but he had barely lifted himself out when Pepito latched onto one of his legs, pulling him back down easily. "Hey! What now?"

"Now, Amigo, you could really use a bath." He laughed at the expected glare, taking the few seconds before he knew the retort would come to toss out all the extra materials that were still in the tub.

"Oh, thanks a lot. I didn't realize that joining your side meant that I needed to look pretty for you every day."

Pepito smiled as he climbed to his feet, stepping out of the tub to turn on the water. "That's because you didn't read the fine print, which stated that you were actually joining the harem and not the coven specifically." He relished the deadpan look.

"You know I read the whole thing." Todd paused to cringe at the cold water that was pooling around his lower body. "Do you really have a harem?"

"No. Not officially. Do you think I need one?"

"... I'm not answering that."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"You're an idiot," Todd mumbled to himself.

"What?"

"I said you're amazing. Could you get me some soap?"

"... sure." Pepito eyed him suspiciously before heading back to the bathroom closet to gather more supplies. He came back with an arm full, setting it all on the side of the tub before stripping down to his own boxers.

Todd blinked at him. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm taking a bath as well, since I'm now covered in your blood, and I'm going to have to stay and watch you anyway."

"Pepito, it's not like going to drown if you leave me alone for an hour."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm not!"

"Actually, you're pretty loopy right now, Todd. I think you might need more blood soon."

"I don't want more blood! It's everywhere as it is!"

"You see, that's what I'm talking about. I meant in your body." Pepito shook his head as he stepped back into the tub, taking a seat in the now warm water with his boxers still on. "Take off your shirt and I'll add bubbles."

Todd tilted his head to the side. "Pepe, sometimes I think you take the parent replacement therapy too seriously."

Pepito let out a deep breath. " I Just thought the bubbles might make it easier for you."

"Fine." Todd jerked the shirt over his head, throwing it over the edge, and wishing that the quick movements hadn't made his head swim. Pepito was probably right about him needing a transfusion. "It's gone."

After pouring a liberal amount of bubble formula into the rising water, Pepito handed Todd the bar of soap and another clean rag, procuring the shampoo for himself. "I learned something today that might make you a little less ... how you've been."

Laughing a little bitterly, Todd fumbled with the bar of soap until it was finally lost in the huge tub. At least his rag was already soapy enough. "That this whole taking over the world thing is completely overrated?"

"Nooo. Remember those prisoners that my guards captured from the camp breakout? The ones you know?"

"Yes." Todd froze mid scrub. "And this is good news?"

"Well, to you I'm sure. They escaped a few days ago from the compound here in New York, all three of them. Someone on the inside must have helped them get away, but none of the staff has disappeared yet."

"Really?" He couldn't hold back a small smile. "I mean, uh, I don't know anything about that."

"I know. I just thought it might make you happy to know. We're not pursuing them, so unless they're stupid, they'll probably get away."

"I ... thank you, Pepito. Really."

"I didn't let them go."

"I know, but still. Thanks for not chasing them. And you know, for not killing them earlier."

"Did you know that the woman is pregnant?"

"No. Wow." Todd looked down into the soapy water. It had to be hard, being on the run in such a condition, and then when it was born.

Pepito nodded. "It's not yours, is it?"

"What?" Todd's head shot back up. "No! God, no."

"I didn't mean it as an offense. There's nothing wrong with-"

 "I know! But it's not mine, okay?"

"Okay." Pepito put both hands up in his own defense. "I was just asking."

"Yeah, I bet you were."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"How long have you known she was pregnant, Pepito? What would you have done if it was my child? Use it as leverage so I'd give you my soul if your other plans failed?"

"Dammit, Todd! I'm trying to be nice here."

"You didn't answer the question." Todd crossed his arms again, holding the rag tightly in one hand.

"No! I don't know, alright! I honestly, sincerely don't know because I haven't thought about it. That was never part of my plan, but ... if it was yours, I wouldn't hurt it, alright? Or its mother."

"If you say so, Pepito."

"Well, I do say so. What, you don't believe me?"

"No, I believe you. But that doesn't mean you wouldn't find a way to blackmail me with it. Or at least raise it as a Satanist so it could grow up to be just as ...."

"Just as what?"

"Nothing."

"No, what? Say it."

Todd shook his head, letting it fall forward afterward. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, Pepe. It's just that I feel so off all the time now, and I don't ... I don't ...."

"It's alright, Todd. Come here." When he didn't move, Pepito scooted closed once again, pulling him into a loose hug, despite the fact that he felt at his wits end. "I'm going to take you to the medical center after this, and we'll get that checked too, okay?"

Todd nodded. "I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I think you're a lot more patient now than you were a few months ago."

"That does help." Pepito smiled sadly as he shampooed Todd's hair, which was been badly in need of a good washing, spiking it up into a troll-like style that did actually improve his mood a bit.  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Allusions to blood play, sex scene in second part (m/f)

"Pepe? I'm sorry I ruined your night." Todd spoke in a groggy, soft voice, laying his head down on Pepito's shoulder when he felt the arm that was wrapped around him tighten and letting his eyes slip closed.

"Sssh." Pepito leaned his own head down a little to place a quick kiss on the Todd's forehead, repressing a shiver when he felt hot, steady breathing against his neck. "Stop apologizing. We can see the play tomorrow. It won't be opening night, but it'll be fine."

After the bath, they had dressed him in loose, soft clothes, topped with a bathrobe, for his trip to the medical center that had been set up on one of the lower floors. It was obvious now that he was feeling some mild effects of blood loss, as he was currently leaning against, and half hugging, Pepito in the elevator and by the looks of him he was well on his way to falling asleep like that. Pepito laughed softly, only smiling wider when the movements in his chest caused Todd to emit an unhappy groan and tighten the grip on his shoulder.

Despite the humor, and though he wouldn't admit it out loud, the cuteness, of the situation, it did worry Pepito that Todd had been acting so unstable lately. He had been more needy and attention seeking recently, at least with Pepito. Sometimes it was nice, but he seemed to have developed an almost bipolar tendency to go from snuggly or playful to full on bitch mode in no time, which was disturbing.

The elevator dinged to signal the arrival at their requested location, and Todd felt himself being shaken. "Unnhh."

"Wake up, Amigo. We're here."

"Uhmm. I wasn't asleep."

"Sure you weren't. Can you walk on your own?"

"Of course." Todd pushed himself away from Pepito, then had to catch himself on the railing when he fell into the other side of the elevator wall. "Heh. Who put this here?"

"Todd?"

Todd blinked a few times until the world seemed more steady. "I'm joking. I'm fine." This time he made it out of the lift without incident, though he didn't protest when Pepito draped his arm under his shoulders afterward, as they made their way to the examination room, where he stumbled again when Marla opened the door.

He felt Pepito's hands move up to grasp his arms, making sure he didn't fall, and could feel his face turning red as Marla looked him up and down.

"What happened exactly?" She looked through Todd to address Pepito.

"The details are unimportant. He's lost some blood, and now he's feeling lightheaded. I think he needs an transfusion, and after that I need to talk to you about something else."

She gave him a hard look, but relented, stepping out of the doorway to the room. "Very well. Lets have him lie on that table, and after I get his vitals, we'll get everything set up."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"My pleasure, Pepito."

Todd let Pepito help him onto the table, doing his best not to squirm through all of the standard tests that Marla was preforming on him, and all the while becoming more paranoid that she was going to murder him any second. Her movements were oddly detached, mechanical, like she was forcing herself to do every task when what she really wanted to do was drain the rest of his blood from his body. Maybe she really was jealous.

And Pepito was touching him too much, probably fueling her rage. Todd reached up with his free hand, the one that wasn't being prepped for a needle and IV, to push Pepito's hand away from his hair for the third time. He had read somewhere a few years back that demons have a special affinity for hair, and, though it had seemed like a random, baseless statement at the time, it did seem to be true for Pepito.

This time, Pepito took the offending hand into his own instead of going back to his hair, but Todd wasn't sure if that was better or worse because the next thing he knew, a long needle was being shoved into his arm rather forcefully. He winced as he looked to Marla, who was glaring at him again, but tried not to make a sound. After the sack of cold blood had started to flow through the tubes and into his veins, which stung horribly, she left the room to update some file, claiming that she would be right back.

Pepito leaned down to whisper into his ear. "Shit, Todd. What did you do to her?"

"I don't know! She's been like that for ... for a while."

"Well, whatever it was, I wouldn't advise doing it again."

"I think I'm doing it right now." He looked down at their entwined hands.

"What?"

"Nothing. Hey, is it serious with you and Marla?"

"Serious how?"

"Umm, romantically, I guess. Although, maybe religiously too." Could that explain her being upset with him about selling his soul? He knew that some of the coven members had been jealous that he had been initiated at the same level as them without going through whatever trials they had, and by the great Adrian himself no less.

"Romantically, I wouldn't say that it's serious, not just yet anyway, but I think that you and I have different ideas of serious when it comes to such things. Religiously, I should hope it's serious. Pledging your eternal soul to a cause should always be serious, wouldn't you agree?"

"You know I would." Todd smiled sarcastically, swinging their clasped hands back and forth between them in something of a parody of adoring cheer, though there was real humor buried somewhere in there as well.

"That's convincing." Without releasing Todd's hand, Pepito took a seat on the edge of the medical bed beside him, leaning back into the cushion.

"I try."

"It shows."

"Thanks for noticing."

"Todd, what do you think of Marla?"

"What do you mean?"

"I suppose I want to know what you think before it potentially becomes serious. You know, all of those things that I said about you being family wasn't just a gimmick to get your soul. You're an important part of my life, and if you didn't like someone ... well, that would be a problem."

"O-oh. Well, I guess I liked her pretty well until she started hating me. And I think that might get better if you and I aren't living in the same apartment. I could take the one Edgar had when he was here ... 7-A?"

"Amigo, if you want your own place, that's fine, though you'll have to wait until I'm satisfied that you'll be safe there. But don't let Marla, or anyone else, make you feel like to have to move out. She can be rather intimidating if you let her, but if you stand up to her, she'll respect you more."

Todd rather doubted that method would work for him, but nodded his head anyway. It probably worked for Pepito simply because he actually had the power to back it up. And power appeared to be what his and Marla's relationship centered around. Pepito actually seemed to enjoy the small moments when it became apparent she was using her knowledge, skills and especially sex appeal to manipulate him into whatever she wanted. And Marla seemed to take any demonstration of authority over her as a personal challenge to somehow turn it to her advantage.

"Do you want to move out?"

"No, but-"

"Then don't. If she doesn't come around, then it's her loss."

"Pepito, I can't just keep living with you indefinitely. I mean, eventually you're going to get married and have kids and stuff, right?"

"It's likely."

"Wouldn't that be really awkward? Like more awkward than 'my forty year old son still lives at home in the basement' awkward?"

"I don't think so. Besides, the convenience of live-in baby-sitting would cover this supposed 'awkward' nicely."

"Oh, great. Now I see how it is."

"Heh. Don't worry, Amigo. That's what Minnie and Roman are for."

"Oh. So, you're going to bring them back after... uh ...."

"Death? No need. Well, unless they meet an untimely demise somehow. No one in the original New York Coven has aged a second since my birth." Pepito smiled at the shocked look. "It was a gift from my father for their part in bringing me into the world. Don't tell me that you haven't noticed that they look nearly the same as when you saw them in High School?"

 "I thought that I just didn't remember the first time very clearly. But why didn't he make them younger?" Todd frowned. The revelation reminded him of countless Faustian tales in which deals with the Devil went horribly and inexcusably wrong because of his trickster nature.

"He will. After we win the final battle. And then I get to choose some people to bestow that gift upon as well, according to their efforts in the war and my own desires. Of course, travel between Earth and Hell will be much easier then anyway. And I'll have an impressive castle built, so no one living with me will be cramped."

Todd bit the corner of his lower lip in thought. Some aspects of what Pepito was telling him sounded an awfully lot like the promises made by the Christian God about the Resurrection. He wasn't sure what that meant, what it said about both sides, but it was odd. That was for sure. As he was thinking of a way to say this without causing any offense, both of their attention was stolen by Marla reentering the small room. She seemed a little less volatile as she checked his vitals again.

Pepito stood up again to give her room to work.

"Alright. He's looking pretty good as far as general health goes. Only needed about a quart and a half of blood, so I wouldn't call this an emergency. Still, it's good you brought him because those things can be hard to assess on your own." This time she shot Pepito a glare instead, pulling a folded sheet of paper from her lab coat after finishing with Todd. "Here. I would have expected you to know this stuff already, but apparently you need this."

Her hand went back into the coat as he glanced over the page to retrieve a white plastic bag that she had half-filled with disposable scalpels, sanitary wipes, antibacterial healing ointment and bandages. She handed the bag to Pepito. "Bring them back to me when you're finished so that I can dispose of them properly."

"I see," Pepito cleared his throat as he took a quick look in the bag, "Do you think we could ...."

"Of course."

Folding the paper in half and passing it down to Todd, he led Marla from the room to have quick discussion. "I'll be right back, Todd. Just rest there for a while, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." The words had barely left his lips before the door to Marla's office closed behind them, and Todd let out a yawn, covering his mouth with his now IV free arm despite the lack of company. He unfolded the paper that Pepito had given him, hoping that it might prove interesting enough to keep him awake until they were finished doing whatever it was they were doing.

"Holy shit!" The page in question was entitled 'Blood Sports: A BDSM Safety Guide'.

 

As soon as the door closed behind him, Pepito leaned back against it with a sigh. He watched Marla take a seat on one of the chairs in front of her desk, her lab-coat ridding up to expose a pale thigh as one leg was crossed over the other. To her left, there was a large one-way mirror, through which he could see Todd staring wide-eyed at the paper he had left him with. One corner of his lips turned up slightly.

"Ah-hem." Marla arched a brow when his gaze drifted back to her.

"It wasn't what you think, the blood loss."

"Oh, yeah?"

"He's having some issues with depression."

"For how long?"

"Ever since the Initiation-no, since my birthday, I suppose. But he wasn't dangerous to himself then." Pepito shook his head. "You will keep this confidential, won't you?"

"Of course. Besides, Todd's not a prisoner anymore, so he does have privacy rights now, correct?"

"Yes. I'm going to need you to do some blood work in case it's biological. And … you've been studying aural reading at the dungeons, haven't you?"

She smiled. "How else would I have been able to identify the Christ if the situation arose."

"Good. The less people that I have to involve with this, the better. I know some are already questioning his place among us. You'll need to have the necessary equipment moved here, and soon. Then it will just be you and Abe. No outside doctors."

"As you wish." A long moment passed during which neither of them spoke. "So, is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Not quite. I'm afraid there's also the increasing lack of professionalism reflected by your dress."

Marla shrugged, her lip curling up into a slight smirk as she slowly spread her legs to reveal nothing beneath her buttoned coat but black lacy panties. "I'm not used to being on call twenty-four-seven. Your call woke me up."

Pepito's gaze lingered for a moment. "Is that so?" The question was rhetorical because he already knew that it wasn't. She'd been wearing clothes, something dark, under that same coat before she left to print out that paper, he was sure of it.

She nodded. "And once I'm awake, it can be hard … getting back to sleep."

"Perhaps I could assist you with that." She stood up as he walked closer to take the lapples of the lab coat, pulling them apart so that all of the buttons popped off to reveal a lacy bra that matched her panties and emphasized her cleavage.

Marla grabbed his arm to pull him closer, not hesitating to met his lips and then his tongue with her own when he leaned in for a kiss that only deepened as he pushed her until her back hit wall right beside the mirror. Then his mouth moved down to her neck, sucking aggressively and occasionally giving her little bites that made her moan. He pulled the coat from her shoulders, his hands went behind her back to unhook her bra, and she let both items fall to the floor before pulling the shirt he was wearing over his head so it could join them.

Pressing her body harder against the wall, Pepito groaned as her naked breasts brushed against his chest and his hardness against her stomach. She raised one leg to wrap partly around him as she used the wall for leverage to grind against him, and his hand on her back moved down to squeeze her supple ass. He used the grip to pull her closer, increasing the delicious friction, before moving down even farther to let his fingers slip into the panties near where they meet her legs. She bit his lip when he finally touched her there, rubbing his fingers back and forth to wet them before slowly penetrating her as best he could from that angle.

Marla gave his lower lip a tug with her teeth before kissing him hard. She moved back and forth against his fingers, and moaned when a third finger joined the two already inside her. As she became wetter, he moved one of his fingers out and back, rubbing against her other hole before gently pressing inside. She moan again at the feeling of fullness.

Pulling away from her mouth, Pepito ran his tongue over the outer shell of her ear as one of her hands worked at the zipper of his pants. He bit down lightly on the lobe when her hand wrapped around his member, then continued to suck on both the lobe and a silver earring that pierced it as she stroked him. Her other hand held onto his shoulder, purposefully scratching him with the short nails on her hand every now and then.

Marla pushed her head back as far as it would go against the wall when Pepito pressed in even closer, rubbing the tip of his cock against her hard clit. Her hips rocked against him harder for a few moments, before she leaned forward to whisper hotly in his ear, "I want to see you."

He let out a short laugh at the request before letting his infernal form rise to the surface, no longer hidden by the near constant check he kept it in. During the small transformation, one that only psychically sensitive people could even see, he watched her eyes widen with an awed light that didn't waste much time before turning to lust. It wasn't an uncommon reaction with initiates. He kissed her again, harder than before, removing his fingers to press himself against her wetness.

"Wait."

He almost groaned again, this time in frustration, but immediately did as she said.

Pushing lightly on Pepito's shoulder so she had a few feet of room, Marla bent down to pick up her lab coat, digging in one of the deep side-pockets and pulling out a condom and a small bottle of lubrication.

Pepito almost smiled. Not many people who knew who he was, and still wanted to sleep with him, had kept that kind of presence of mind in the past. Then again, most people who wanted to sleep with him were attracted to dangerous elements, and many of the women probably wanted an extra little gift from the encounter. He let out a sigh when Marla poured a few drops of the liquid onto his member before rolling the condom out to confine it within the thin latex that he knew would cut out a small degree of sensation.

She smiled when she looked back up at him, turning her head to follow where his gaze had been, looking out the mirror at Todd, who by now had pulled his legs up and laid on his side, almost in a ball on the small bed. "Do you wanna watch?"

"Uh ..." Pepito only raised a brow at the odd question, then watched as Marla turned toward the mirror with a smirk.

"I've got an idea." There was an edge reminiscent of a window sill about three inches wide on the office side of the mirror, roughly three feet off the ground … not a bad height if she rested her knees on it, which she did.

For a moment Pepito just stood there, staring at Marla's back and through the mirror at an unknowing Todd. He licked his lips when she spread her legs far apart, then walked up close behind her, discovering that both of their reflections showed up a bit when they were that close. It wasn't the same quality that a real mirror would have. Marla's face, as well as his own, was somewhat transparent, while everything in the next room was clear and solid.

He touched her side with the tips of his fingers, running naturally black nails up and down her torso and then her thighs. When she let out a deep breath, he took her right hand in his own, pressing it against the glass and slipping a few fingers around to contact the palm, where her mark was. It would be easier to read her emotions that way, even though Marla was more resistant, more guarded, in that area than most. His other hand reached around to ghost lightly over her breasts and stomach before traveling down to rub her clitoris as he once again pressed against her entrance, this time from behind. He savored the feeling of her muscles expanding and then contracting again around him as she took him in inch by inch.

When he was finally in all the way, he pulled back out, slowly reinserting himself a few more times before picking up the pace. He kept her hand pressed against the mirror as he thrust in and out, letting her hips do part of the work to meet him half way as well. As they continued, their bodies produced a moist smacking noise. Marla's body became slick on the outside with sweat and on the inside with other fluids that made her feel looser to Pepito, and softer, almost impossibly so, at the same time. Then her lower muscles tightened around him, squeezing in a tight contrast to moments before. At the same time, all of her other muscles seem to go slack so that he had to hold up all her weight as she panted and moaned in his arms.

He moaned as well, but forced himself to pull out before either of them had finished their orgasms. He smirked when he saw Marla's eyes narrow in the mirror that was now foggy with her hot, heavy breathing. "How badly do you want it?"

"Ha." She paused to try and catch her breath. "Not as badly as you."

"Mmm. Since I'm the one who knows both of our desires, I think I'll be the judge of that. I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised, but at least I'm not the jealous type." He saw her eyes widen in the mirror as he kissed her neck.

Her frame suddenly tensed a little. "Which one of us would you be jealous of?"

His nose brushed against her neck, and then his lips ghosted against her right ear so that he could whisper softly. "Does it matter?"

"No." She shivered slightly as he drew back a few inches, but didn't really move from his current position or let loose her hand.

"I like you, Marla. And I don't feel particularly compelled to try to control whom you, or Todd, sleep with. But if you hurt him … well, let's just say you'll regret it."

She let out a hostile laugh. "You should know I wouldn't do that. Isn't that why you hired me to begin with?"

"Yes, perhaps ironically so." He met her eyes in the mirror, and saw pits of fire reflected in them. It was like someone else's eyes staring back at them both for a second, before he realized they were his own, as they had been since he had died and come back. He still wasn't used to them. "No matter your personal feelings for Todd, whether they be positive or negative, I expect you to treat him with respect and common courtesy. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She sighed, letting more of her weight rest against the glass in front of her. "I'm sorry. None of that was really directed at him personally. I guess he's just an easy target because he takes everything so passively. It won't happen again."

Pepito nodded as his soul deemed hers to be telling the truth. "You should tell him that."

"I will."

"Good. Now, were where we?"

"Right about here, I think." She moved his right hand back down against her clitoris, and his fingers curled inside her, rubbing and penetrating at the same time.

His grip lighted on her hand as he leaned closer to her ear again. "I have an idea of my own." He felt her body tense as spiritual tendrils wrapped around her, holding her up for the both of them, and replacing his hand inside her. The hand moved up to wrap around her abdomen and grip her right hip, giving him more leverage to push slowly into her back entrance. Another appendage worked at her clit and her breasts as his thrusts sped up, filling her completely and making her scream out in a mix of pleasure and pain loud enough that, behind the glass, Todd jerked awake from his sleep and looked dazedly around the room.  
  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: moderate blood play (please do not attempt at home unless you really know what you're doing, this is not a guide), m/m sexual content

Sluggishly, Todd tossed his robe over the edge of the couch before plopping down onto it himself, staring at the large, blank TV without any inclination to actually turn it on. He could hear the sounds of a late night, last minute dinner being thrown together in the kitchen, and he focused on them with a distant, but intent acuteness. It was the kind of focus that would had lent itself to auto-hypnosis, much like the typing class he had taken in high school, had the subject been repetitive and long lasting enough, though it was neither of those things.

When Pepito arrived about five minutes later with two sandwiches, as well as two glasses, Todd picked up the glass nearest his person, looking at it as though it had some explaining to do. "Wine?"

Pepito nodded as he took a seat to Todd's right. "I added some herbs for blood nourishment, and the alcohol will help you relax and fall asleep." When Todd looked up at him, he leaned over to clink their glasses together before taking a drink of his own.

Shrugging, Todd took a slow sip himself, wrinkling his nose at the aftertaste that was no doubt provided by the herbs that Pepito had spoken of. Immediately, he reached for the sandwich. They finished the rest of the meal in near silence, and afterwards Todd did feel less weak and dizzy, though he thought the later could have been even more improved without alcohol. Truthfully, it wasn't much worse than the aftermath of donating blood, though he knew that it easily could have been.

When Pepito stood up, gathering the plates with glasses stacked on top this time to take them back to the kitchen, he accidentally kicked the plastic bag that Marla had given him earlier, which must have fallen to the floor after he had carelessly dropped it onto the couch upon getting back. With an irritated grunt, he used his unholy powers to lift the bag out of his way and onto the coffee table for the time being.

Todd pulled his legs up onto the couch as Pepito left the room again, using his disguarded robe as a makeshift blanket to cover himself as he stared at the bag. Suddenly he remembered the paper: the safety guide. He dug around in the pocket of his robe, finally pulling it out only to chuck it dramatically onto the table with the bag.

It was now the size of a paper football because after that same part of his brain that sometimes forced him to stare at car wrecks had made him read it, he had failed to locate a garbage can within reach. He had dared not attempt to stand on his own so soon, nor risk missing an attempted throw lest Marla find out. The best he could do was to make it as tiny as possible so that he could pretend that it was close to disappearing.

"Did you read that?" Pepito sat back down, angling his body so he could partly face Todd. He rested his right foot on his left knee after receiving nothing but an indignant glare for his inquiry. "You really should."

"Ugh. I did, okay? I thought you didn't want me to do it anymore."

"I don't. But if you're going to do it, you might as well do it the right way. In fact, if you insist on doing it, I think that I should be present to make sure that you don't go too far. So, I'll be keeping that stuff locked up when I'm not here."

"Why does it even matter? I belong to you now, right? So if I die I'll just go to Hell, and you can bring me back like Edgar."

Pepito frowned, resting the right side of his temple in a hand. "Todd, dying isn't fun. I know, I've tried it. And if you're unhappy with life now, and if no one finds yours in time, having to adjust to a new body that will never fit exactly the way your birth one does isn't going to make that any better."

"I don't want to die." Todd buried his face in both hands, bowing his head to press it against raised knees. "I wasn't trying to die. I just ... it just happened."

"Things like that don't just happen, Amigo."

"You know what I mean. I didn't mean to cut that deep or that much. That part just happened."

"I know," Pepito scooted closer, " and therein lies the problem. It's not an indulgence, it's a compulsion. You don't do it because you enjoy it; you do it to escape undesirable aspects of you life, and that's not good. Am I right?"

"I guess so."

"And that's all the more reason why you shouldn't do it alone. If you're going to do it at all, you need to learn control and discipline. I want you to promise me."

"I don't want to lie to you, Pepe. I don't intend to do it again." Todd looked down at his white, robed-covered lap.

"If you promise and mean it, it won't be a lie. That's part of our new ... relationship." He held up his hand, palm outward, to emphasize his meaning when Todd reluctantly met his gaze.

"You mean if I make a promise to you, I can't break it?"

"Exactly. But you don't really want to do it except in the heat of the moment, right? So this should be a good thing."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. Alright, I promise."

"Promise that you won't do anything that you know might cause harm or impairing, lasting damage to yourself. Say it."

"I promise that I won't do anything that I know might cause harm or impairing, lasting damage to myself. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." The word was more than a little biting, but Pepito refused to feel sorry for it. There were very few people that he was willing to be patient with in this kind of ridiculous situation, and though Todd was one of them, it still irked the hell out of him. "Come on. You're sleeping with me tonight." Offering a hand, he pulled Todd to his feet, snatching the plastic bag off the coffee table along the way. He didn't really need it seeing as how he already had his own toys for such things, but Todd didn't need it lying around the apartment either.

After letting himself be led into the bedroom, Todd broke away from Pepito, crawling onto the bed as he watched him lock the medical supplies away in a large wooden chest.

"All you have to do, if you want it, is to tell me." Pepito smirked when he turned back around to see Todd looking off to the side with an abashed blush tinting his cheeks. "And if you're interested, we could try out some hot wax. It would be much safer than knifes of any kind."

"Umm. Okay. Right." The words fell from Todd's lips in mumbled mush of sound, leaving him unsure if Pepito could even make them out. It didn't really matter because they weren't an assent, just an acknowledgment that he had heard him and a plea that they move on to another, less horrible subject.

"Of course, I still think that talking to me about what's really wrong would work the best."

"Pepe, I ... you ..."

"Wouldn't understand, right?"

 "Yeah."

"But I'd try, Amigo. And I thought you said that talking helped anyway."

"It does, usually. This time ... I don't know. It might just reinforce what I already know."

"And what's that?" Pepito took a seat a few feet from the edge of the bed, facing Todd dead on this time.

"There's not really a difference, is there? Between the people on your side and the people on God's?" That wasn't the only issue, or maybe even the central issue, with his depression, but it had been an important one, especially today.

"Well, I like to think there is, at least in some ways."

"But not the ways that matter. They all think that the universe somehow was created to serve them; that just being human entitles them to do whatever they want with other beings. For the Christians it's because they were created in the image of God and for the Satanists it's because they are gods ... or simply because they have the power and might is right. But it all boils down to the same thing."

"Todd, you know most people are idiots. I don't even think that's so much about religious affiliation in general. It goes back further than that. Although they've tried very hard to forget it, humans are animals too. Natural inclinations make them greedy survivalists. They do what they need to, or what they want to, and then justify and rationalize it after the fact. In the natural world, might is right, or the closest thing there is to a right. The very ability to rationalize is what gives human their advantage, but they're terrified to use it to the fullest because they're afraid they'll find out that it's an evolutionary accident. Just another experiment that might fail like so many others before it. Humans have always wanted to believe that they're special, and they are, if only by their own standards."

Todd emitted a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "But what if those standards are stupid?"

"Heh. They often are, Amigo. That's why there are too many people overcrowding this planet. But those of us who aren't idiots have an obligation to use our mental capacities to the fullest, to claim the power that allows us to make better decisions, both for ourselves and for those who can not.

"We're going to fix this, okay? All you need do now is to relax and trust me. There's no point in worrying about it now anyway, right? Especially to the point of making yourself sick."

"Yeah, but, Pep, you believe it too. I mean, I know that you've done a lot for children's and animal rights, but you still don't see a problem with creating sentient beings and enslaving them right from the beginning. Didn't you tell me that was wrong on the boat, when we were talking about God? Or was that just empty rhetoric that you thought would appeal to my ever-bleeding heart?"

"It wasn't just rhetoric."

"But it only applied to humans?"

"There's still not any conclusive evidence that what we've designed to look like intelligence and emotion is real. You know, because it can sense and interact with its environment, a thermostat system is technically somewhat self-aware."

"You really think they're just advanced air conditioning units?" Todd could feel his eyes start to sting, blinking them hard a few times to ward off any moisture that might try to escape.

"I don't know yet, and neither do you for certain. However, I'm not going back on our agreement either way." He reached out to grip Todd's upper arm, giving it a hopefully reassuring squeeze.

"But you wouldn't really agree with it either, even if they were sentient, would you?"

"Does it matter? It doesn't effect the outcome."

"It matters to me."

"I don't know. I'm sorry. But it might help you to know that, amongst all the hate mail I've been getting about the recalls, I have gotten a few positive letters as well."

"Really?"

"Yes. If you're good, I'll make copies of some for you at work tomorrow."

"Okay." Todd tried to smile, but it ended it a yawn instead.

Pepito laughed. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah."

After they were both under the covers, Pepito used his powers to turn the lights out. He lay there, looking up into darkness, but he couldn't help but feel that their talk was only a minor fix. "Todd, did that help you at all? A least a little?"

Todd fought the urge to groan when Pepito's voice pulled him back from the verge of sleep just when he was about to dose. "Yeah, it did. Thank you, Pepe."

"Anytime, Amigo. I know this ... all of it, is a difficult adjustment." Receiving an acknowledging hum in response, Pepito draped an arm around Todd, smiling when he felt the other turn toward him and borrow closer into the embrace. His left arm curled around Todd's back as the loose right one allowed fingers to entwine in his hair, and he sighed happily. It was odd, but he had always loved sleeping, just sleeping like this, with Todd. It was never quite this intimate, and he never felt quite this at ease, with anyone else. Even when he had sex with others, it was nicest when he could make it home in time for this arrangement, before Todd was already asleep in his own room.

He chuckled under his breath. He had always kept up a half-pretense that he only did this for Todd, that he didn't actually need it himself. Well, perhaps he didn't need it, but there were times that he longed for it. It was physical proof that, despite the fear that had always lingered on Todd's part, and now the years of distance, silent regret and maybe even betrayal, they both still cared.

Tucking a bit of hair behind Todd's ear as his breathing evened out, Pepito leaned down a little to speak softly as he was pretty sure the other was already asleep. "I love you, Amigo."

 

"I love you, Amigo."

The words, whispered against his ear, left behind a tingling warmth that refused to bow before the laws of thermodynamics by fading. A similar sensation passed through the exposed skin of his right thigh when Pepito gripped it from behind to lift his leg off of the mattress so that only his foot touched, bracing it.

The hand left him again when Pepito leaned over to pick up a small scalpel, turning sideways for a moment amid the mountain of pillows that were propped up against the head board of his bed as well as the wall of his bedroom that meet it, to meet Todd's gaze. "Be careful."

"I know." Todd inhaled a lungful of air when the cold metal slid into his hand, pausing to re-situate himself into his previous position of sitting, using both Pepito and the corner of pillows to lean back against, after Pepito had returned to his own. He felt Pepito's right arm wrap itself around the midsection of his chest, his chin coming to rest atop Todd's right shoulder. His left hand took up residence on Todd's left knee as both legs were bent further so that the right one could be easily reached with the blade.

"Ready?" Pepito voice, like his own, was still a near whisper. The arm tightened around him slightly when he nodded, as if to hold him as still as possible. "Go slowly."  
  


Another nod, another deep breath in and out, and Todd raised the knife to his upper leg, tracing the intended cut with his eyes before applying pressure from the blade. When he did, it was more gradual and methodical than he had ever done it before. The pain bloomed like a scarlet flower, a feast for old gods those temples were now only populated by jungle, lighting his nerves on fire, spreading steadily throughout his body in ripples. A gasp escaped him as he finished the three inch long cut, pulling the scalpel back a moment to recover.

"Are you alright?" Pepito kissed his cheek, lips lingering after the fact as his fingers stroked Todd's other knee. His hand moved up to the lower thigh when Todd relaxed, letting his left leg slip just the tiniest bit toward the black comforter below as his head fell back to rest the side of his face in the crook of Pepito's neck.

"Um-hum."

"How does it feel?"

"It feels ... intense." He had cut himself before, for a brief period in high school and then recently, but this wasn't like all the other times. This wasn't a distraction, it was an enhancement. And it wasn't just the blood or the pain, it was the intimacy. The intimacy was intoxicating.

Turning his head to face Todd, Pepito nuzzled the side of his face before moving down a little to place light kisses against his neck. "Is that good?"

Eyes closing as the heat in his body intensified, Todd nodded yet again, not quite sure which 'that' he was agreeing to, but not really caring either. "Mmmm." He both heard and felt Pepito chuckle against the moist skin of his neck as the hand on his stomach moved under the dark blue sleeveless shirt that he was wearing. Warm fingers slid across his skin until the hand came to a stop over his heart.

After a few more minutes, Todd tilted his head back up, body becoming more rigid as he took the knife to his leg again. This time the pain was even better, and he hardly noticed when the blade went a few centimeters deeper until Pepito's hand left his chest to grip his wrist tightly, bringing the sensations to a halt.

"Cuidadoso, Amigo." Pepito's voice was somehow firm and gentle at the same time, his hand moving up to find it's way on top of his own, pulling the blade back up before guiding it himself down a parallel path to the first cut at what Todd thought was an excruciating, exhilarating slow pace.

Relaxing once again now that he didn't have to focus completely on the task at hand himself, Todd let his eye lids fall to half mast, his left leg going more lax so that the hand that was still just above his knee went even further up. Pepito didn't seem to mind this as his thumb kept tracing small circles on peach skin, but not really moving in either direction. He bit his lower lip, trying not to moan at everything that was happening, but a small whimper escaped anyway.

By the time the cut was finished, its length matching the first one almost perfectly, Todd's breath was coming fast. The searing heat in his face told him that the fluid in his body had decided to paint it a familiar shade of pink, and his whole being seemed to throb with excitement. His leg fell down further, bringing Pepito's hand within inches of his tan boxer-briefs, and he wasn't sure if it was an accident this time.  
  
Releasing his hold on Todd's hand, Pepito wrapped his arm around his chest again, pulling him into a small hug. "Your pulse is racing."

Todd giggled, feeling a little high on the endorphins that resulted from the mixture of pleasure and pain. "Racing what?"

"I don't know." Pepito let out a small huff of a laugh as he leaned down to kiss Todd's cheek again. "Maybe mine. Do you wanna stop?"

"O-oh. No. Not just yet." Todd smiled a little through the worsening blush that had moved to his neck now too at those words, though he really hadn't needed them to know what was going on. They were sitting too close, pressed together, for him to miss the erection that was lightly pressing into his lower back, matching his own. "Pepe?"

"Hmm?"

"D-do you wanna do it?"

"What?" He could see Pepito raising brow at him out of the corner of his eye.

Todd shook his head, suppressing a small laugh when he remembered what the proverbial 'it' usually implied. "Would you like to make the last cut?" He knew that Pepito sometimes liked to 'play' with some initiates in such ways.

Pepito looked down for a moment, seeming to count the few freckles on Todd's shoulder before he finally looked back up. "Do you want me to?"

"Do you want to?"

"Heh." Pepito nudged the side of his face with his nose. "Only if you want me to."

Todd smiled too at the beginning of what could have easily been a never ending roundabout of conversation, before remaining silent for a few moments, working up the courage to exit back onto the highway. "I ... I want you to."

"Okay."

He swallowed thickly when Pepito took his hand back, kissing the back of it before taking the scalpel into his own. Looking straight ahead, he tried to breathe evenly as the blade was wiped with a sanitary wipe before coming to hover over his leg once again. The hand on his left leg gripped him tightly for a few seconds, then loosened as the sharp steel stank into the first few layers of skin. His own hand, now free, moved to the side to grasp one of Pepito's thighs, which he was currently sitting between.

The blade started to move, just as slowly as the last time, and he tasted blood: his own. He had apparently bitten his lip too hard, but he was reluctant to release it, choosing instead to suck in the salty taste to busy his mouth from the noises that it would surely otherwise be preoccupied with.

Pepito's breathing grew heavy in his ear, but the knife stayed its course, proving that Pepito had either more of an aptitude for concentration under such conditions than himself or more experience. Probably both. Todd himself was struggling, trying hard not to go completely lax or writhe uncontrollably in the wake of the ministrations. His leg moved again, down and to the left a bit, and it was definitely on purpose.

The hand on his leg now played with the hem of his underwear, tracing the crease between his thigh and the bulge in his crotch, and Todd was forced to take in a deep inhalation that came out as a groan.

"Fuck, Todd." Pepito's husky tone just made the need worse, but the fingers were barely touching him, running up and down his length in the same teasing manner as the blade was running down his leg, leaving a desperate, antagonizing bliss that was never truly fulfilled.

"Pepe ...." His voice was pleading and he felt close to crying now, not from pain, but from prolonged desire.

"Shh. Don't worry, Todd. It's finished now." The blade left his leg again, this time discarded in a cup of alcohol on the night stand, and then Pepito was hugging him to his chest again, though his other hand was still busy elsewhere. "You're all mine. For always."

"Huh?" Todd looked back down at the three cuts on his leg, finding them now to be three sixes that matched the birthmark on Pepito's hand. They radiated out from the center, where all three curved tails meet, like a primitive abstraction of a red clover. "How did-"

Pepito shifted both of their bodies so that they were at an angle. Todd was once again half leaning against Pepito, half pressed into the pillows against the wall. "It's magic, Amigo," Pepito whispered, "Just good, old fashioned black magic." Then he was kissing him again-his neck, his cheek and finally his bloody lips-and Todd found it difficult to care.

The left hand rubbed against him with more pressure as the right slunk back under his shirt, and Todd allowed it; more than allowed it. He thought that if he had to he would have begged. As the kisses deepened, his lost himself in the embraces, in the increasing passionate friction, almost missing the small change when Pepito's fingernails against his stomach became sharp claws that scraped at his skin. Demonic form ... that was-

Before he could finish the thought, he found himself moaning into Pepito's mouth as the hand finally found its way into his boxers. It was hotter, so much hotter than before, and the claws rubbed ever so lightly against him, not quite enough to actually hurt in this heightened state of arousal, though it would probably sting later. When the kiss finally broke, he clung to Pepito's shoulder as best he could in that position, panting as Pepito sucked and bit his neck. It was too much when the claws on his stomach dug into his flesh, plunging the fiery heat inside him as they moved across his abdomen. "Pepito ... I-Oh, God!"

 

"Oh, God!" Todd sat bolt-upright in bed, his breathing coming in and out in desperate, ragged gulps. It took him a few moments to take in his surroundings, to realize that he was in Pepito's king-sized bed, alone. The early morning sun peeked at him through the drapes, and the sound of running water told him that Pepito was currently in the shower.

"A dream. It was just a dream. A really messed up dream." He let out a relieved sigh, attempting to calm himself. Throwing the thick comforter aside, he noticed that said dream had left him covered in a thin layer of sweat, along with some other bodily fluids, which had also disgraced the bedding with a disturbingly high quantity. "Oh, shit."

Nothing like this had happened to him for a long, long time. The few times that it had, when he had first started puberty, had been enough to insure that he took care of his sexual needs as often as he had to in order to avoid potentially messy situations ... and just plain messes. He sighed again. Lately he'd been too depressed to function properly in that department, and he should have known better than to sleep with anyone else under such circumstances. Still, that didn't explain the weirdness of the dream, even aside from the fact that it had been a wet dream about the Antichrist.

He fought against what was probably the beginnings of a small panic attack before forcing himself out of bed. There was no time to lie around feeling mortified! Who knew how long Pepito had already been in the shower. Quickly, Todd gathered all of the blankets together, making a mad dash for his own bedroom, where he hid them in the very back of his closet. He could wash them later when he was alone. "Okay. Just think. What's next?"

He paced around his room several times before catching a glance of himself in the mirror beside his closed door. "Oh, pants! New pants!" Making fast work of the soiled night clothes, he stuffed them in with the blankets before pulling on a similar set. It was a light blue instead of gray, but it would have to do. Next he darted back into the hall to select another, hopefully similar, bedding set. He was in luck because Pepito seemed to have a lot of the same reds, blacks and purples, though the patterns were different.

In the frenzied state, it took him only two and a half minutes to dress the bed in another purple set, according to the clock on Pepito's night stand, and then he was back in it, pretending that he had yet to wake, just as the water stopped running. By the time the door reopened, his breathing had almost calmed.

"Wake up, Amigo!"

"Huh?" Todd peeked out from the covers, blinking his eyes a few extra times for effect. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 8:30AM. I'm leaving for work soon, so you'd better get a shower while you can."

"While I can?" He didn't have to fake the early morning confusion at the statement.

"Oh. Yes, well, I've decided that you'll be spending today with Roman and Minnie until I return from work."

"What? Pepito, I don't need babysitters. And I thought-"

"I know, I know. I made you promise not to harm yourself, but I know very well that most contracts, and especially verbal agreements, have loopholes."

"But, Pepe, I-"

"Todd." Pepito turned around to face him, his suit for that day hanging over a bathrobe-enveloped arm. His brow furrowed as his eyes moved over his friend and the bed. He sensed something out of place, but didn't know what. "Look, don't be upset. It's only for today. Unless you want to accompany me to work, but I assure you it will be long and quite boring."

Todd nearly cringed at when Pepito's eyes roamed over the new comforter, but apparently it had been easily dismissed. He really shouldn't have been so worried. Even if Pepito had found out about his little accident, it probably would have only resulted in a hearty laugh, and maybe another lecture about indulgence being a virtue. But right now he wanted the opposite of indulgence. He wanted repression. He wanted to purge that dream from his memory; he wanted to never think about it again; he wanted ... to not be watching the subject of that dream get dressed at the moment.

"Gah!" Curling up under the covers yet again, Todd held his burning face in both hands. What was wrong with him?

Pepito rolled his eyes as he pulled on his jacket and stepped into his shoes, then made his way over to the bed to pull the covers from Todd's form in a dramatic flourish. "You're very strange, Amigo." He smiled at the incredulous look he received. "Minnie and Roman like you a lot, you know."

"Pep, don't talk to me like I'm eight, okay?. I ... I'm just tried, you know. Blood loss and all."

"The best treatment for that now is eating something. And I'm sure Minne and Roman will let you sleep there if you need to. Just wear something comfortable."

"Did you tell them?" He crossed both arms over his chest.

Pepito frowned down at him. "I had to. I can't watch you every second of the day. But they won't tell anyone else."

"Great."

"Amigo-"

"I know." Todd heaved himself into a sitting position. "I'm not mad, just embarrassed, I guess."

"Good. Then maybe you won't do it again."

"Oh, discouragement through shaming. I didn't think Satanists did that."

"Think again. Using pride to counter-balance sloth is the way we do it. Sins have to be balanced, remember? Besides, I was raised by a Catholic. Sometimes those things rub off. And if you really wanted it, you wouldn't need to be ashamed, would you?"

"I guess not. Sloth?"

"Yes. Now days most people think it just means laziness. While laziness is encompassed by the sin of sloth, its older and more insidious meaning is more akin to paralyzing anxiety and depression. It often happens when you start paying too much attention to worry, and insecurities become obsessions.”

“Oh.” He frowned “Then I've always had problems with sloth.”

“And you've always needed more pride.”

“Yeah, maybe, but I don't see how pride could fix it all, just some of the social stuff. Most of my anxiety is more generalized than that.”  
  
“Well pride should help with both forms of sloth in general because it motivates you to believe you can do beat it and makes you feel like you need to for yourself. You might also need other sins or virtues, though, depending on the specifics of the cause. They're all just natural human emotions, you know. They're not really good or evil all by themselves. Their balance is healthy and imbalance unhealthy. Imbalance tends to result in dysfunctional actions, that's all.”

“Heh. I've read Aristotle, Pepe. You know I minored in philosophy. There was a whole class on the ancient stuff.”

“Well, you should apply it more.” He bent over to ruffle Todd's hair. “Now go shower.”

"Pepito." Todd gave him a flat look. "I'm not calling you Daddy."

"What? Why would you-"

"Because you're a patronizing motherfucker, that's why."

Pepito stared at him in shock for a good half-minute before finally breaking into another smile. "Ha. Oh, that wasn't very nice, now was it? But I think I like it."

"Whatever." Todd stood up, pushing Pepito back a few feet so that he could leave the room for the bathroom.

"I was kidding, Todd. Ha. Just kidding!"

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	20. Chapter 20

Having finished another chapter of the book that he was reading, Todd lay it print-down on his chest, not bothering to close it because his bookmark had somehow disappeared and he didn't want to fold the pages. He would probably resume reading in a few moments anyway. This was what he had been doing for most of the day. After listening to some of Roman's seemingly unending travel stories and to Minnie and Roman both go on and on about their past and Pepito's childhood, he had asked to be excused to the guest room, claiming to be tied and letting them assume that it was because of his 'accident' that Pepito had told them about earlier that morning.

He had actually managed to nap for a few hours before his mind had decided that it had rested enough for a while. Luckily, the Castevet's apartment was over-stocked with books to help keep his thoughts off of the disturbing events of that morning for as much as an hour or so at a time. Still, it kept coming back, breaking free momentarily from the mental closet that he had tried his best to lock it in, like now.

Todd sighed, mildly irritated with himself. He shouldn't be letting the dream get to him so much, especially when he knew-knew that it was simply a product of the rough psychological terrain that he had been consistently tripping all over as of late. First there had been the beating. No.

"The rape," he forced himself not just to think the proper word, but to say it out loud for once, and was somehow surprised to feel his mouth involuntarily cringe as the words formed. Still, he pushed the train of thought further.

The _rape_ had left him feeling weak and largely helpless. Pepito had been one of the few people that he had ever been able to depend on when he felt that way. It had also left him with little to no desire for physical pleasure, though he suspected that his body was still going about its usual business of producing and secreting certain things. Then there had been the move to New York and the transaction that had sealed his soul to Pepito's, both of which had made him feel isolated and insecure in very basic ways that seemed to run even deeper than the previous one, even if it was much less traumatic. Now his fate, his entire being, seemed to depend on Pepito wanting him in one way or another.

There had also been that horrible safety sheet and the awkward talk that they had shared before bedtime. There had been blood loss, which had made his mind more slippery and open to suggestion. And the wine with the herbs, though he was probably reaching with that one. In any event, it was perfectly natural, though still highly disturbing, that his dreams had played out the way they had. It was simply a twisted reflection of the events of his life, which had turned sexual solely by coincidence because of his lack of necessary ... secretions.

Even if that wasn't the case, sex dreams were often symbolic of other issues that weren't sexual in any way. After all, that dream had been about him literally lying there in a charmed, near ecstatic state while the Antichrist craved his sign into his soul. That had to be symbolic. It was definitely related to the complacent way that he had let all of this progress so easily. It was repressed guilt, and now he wanted to just keep repressing the repercussions until he had no choice but to get the negativity out in any way that he could, even if that way involved a running trail of crimson.

Pulling his legs up into the seventies-era chair that he had been leaning back in and resting his head in both hands, he allowed himself a few tears and the book to fall to the carpet. He knew that what he was doing to himself wasn't good, but had no idea how to make it better at this point. It was too late to redeem his soul, of course, and maybe that was tragic, but there had to be something- something better than this at least! None of the coven members seemed to be plagued by constant depression, although-

There was a sudden knock on the door, then Minnie stuck her head in. "There's someone here to see you, dear."

He whipped his head up, drying his eyes as quickly as he could along the way. "O-oh. Who is it?"

"Why, it's only Marla. No need to get so worked up." She smiled awkwardly at her own words.

"I'm not worked up." He bent over to pick the book up, taking the opportunity to wipe any missed moisture from his cheeks before following her from the room, through the hall and into the living room as calmly as possible. When they came in, Marla stood from the sofa with a subtle smile that didn't help the relaxed state that he was trying to maintain at all, and he really hoped that she wasn't there to scream at him again ... or to check that he had read that pamphlet. "Hi, Marla."

"Hello, Todd. I was thinking we should talk. Come on a walk with me."

"Uh, I'm not sure that I can." Todd looked around the overfilled room at both of the elderly people, embarrassed that he needed their permission to leave, but also secretly hoping that they would say he couldn't.

"Oh, go on!" Roman prompted, "No sense keeping yourself cooped up all day. Go out and get yourself some air. It'll be good for you."

" Yes, dear, you go on and have yourself some fun. Just make sure you come back here when you're done, you here? Adrian's going to be back around dinner so you two can catch that show, remember? And you don't want to miss it again."

"Yeah. I remember." Todd forced a smile. He knew they were trying to be nice, trying not to say that he couldn't be out of anyone's sight for too long. He nodded toward Marla with a shrug. "I guess I'm yours."

"Hnh. Actually, you're Pepito's, but I'll borrow you for a while." She latched her arm around his, leading them from the apartment.

They walked through the building in a near silence that made Todd even more paranoid than before, though Marla wasn't glaring at him like she had for the last few weeks. That was probably a good sign, and they were headed for the park, so the chances of her yelling at him were most likely minimal as long as he watched what he said. "It's, uh, a nice day, isn't it?" he began as they made it across the cross walk and onto a path that led through Central Park.

"Sure. Look, Todd, I really wanted to apologize to you, so I'm just going to say it. I've been a complete bitch to you, and you don't deserve it. I'm sorry."

"Oh. I, uh, you haven't been-"

"Yes, I have." She sent him a stern look, daring him to argue.

"Well, okay, I guess you have been a little. Thank you ... for the apology." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Is there ... maybe a reason for that? I mean, not that you have to tell me or anything."

"No, I suppose after all I've made you go through you've earned it. I've ... I've just been having some family problems is all. We were never what you'd call close, and I guess I'm just getting tried of putting myself out there for them again and again when I've known since I was ten that they'll never care about being a real family."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault or your problem, aside from the fact that I've been so irritable about the latest fight lately, of course." She smiled.

"Heh. Yeah. But I kind of know what that's like. My parents, well, they've always been pretty apathetic about my existence."

Marla gave him a long, contemplative look, then nodded. "Thanks."

"So, you really weren't mad at me?"

She shook her head. "It was just transference. I was mad at my father, but I couldn't stick him with needles, unfortunately."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you want to hear about it? Really?"

"Sure. I mean, it would help me take my mind off of my own problems," he amended quickly. He had found out through trial and error that Marla was the kind of person who mistrusted anything that purported itself to be genuine altruism. It was a trait shared by many Satanists that steamed from the belief that every action, at its core, had in truth a selfish basis. Of course, Pepito claimed to believe that as well, though he had often seemed to say one thing and do another when it came to some Satanic principles, and though the hypocrisy was annoying at times, Todd would always be thankful for that.

Marla shrugged. "Alright. Stop me if it starts getting too whiny."

"Okay."

"So, my dad has this really important job, right? That's what the fight was over, what it's always been over. He's always worked really hard to get to the top and then to stay there. Because of that he never really had much time for family. Now he hardly has time for anything else at all. He literally lives at his office."

"Oh. Uh, what about your mom?"

"Never had one. Well, not a proper one anyway. I never met her. I guess you could say she was basically a genetic donor. My brother and I were alone a lot as children, but he inherited Dad's obsessive streak, except he was more obsessed with ... well, unaccepted branches of science, I guess. So he and Dad started to fight a lot, and I just kind of drifted on my own in a sea of morons and video games ... until I found this."

"This? As in-"

"Satanism. Yeah. Then I thought maybe I could make my own family. Or at least join a group of people who are honest about the way things are instead of always pretending like my dad." She laughed bluntly. "At least most of them aren't idiots. Except Karl and Laura Loise."

"Ah. So, I, uh, guess that's worked out okay for you so far?"

"Yes. Okay ... I suppose it has." Her words came out forced, almost mechanically.

Todd stiffened. It sounded like a lie, and almost nothing that Marla said ever sounded like a lie, even when he knew it was one. "Umm ... see, this is the part where I start thinking that you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry with you, Todd."

"You sound angry." He flinched when she turned to him, her lips a perfect line of frown. "Sorry."

"Alright, I'll be honest. I am angry, but it's not at you. It's a mixture of the fight with my dad and my disappointments with certain things."

He raised at eyebrow at the vague run off. "Certain things? Like me living with Pepito?"

"Not exactly. I told you. Whatever relationship you two have or don't have outside of religion is none of my business. And I don't even care that you're suddenly a coven member when that honor took me a decade to achieve. I only care that the principles that I thought we used to stand for have gone to shit in the last year and a half."

Todd bit his lip, deciding that telling her that he didn't really care at all about being a coven member might not be the best idea. And asking her age based on the decade of pledging comment couldn't be good either, though he was pretty sure she was somewhere in her mid to late twenties, which meant that she had to have joined the first level pretty early.

"Is it whining yet? It's whining, isn't it?"

"Heh. No. It's actually pretty interesting ... and relieving." He gave her his best friendly smile. It was truthfully surprising, in a good way, that she was displeased with at least some of the changes that had taken place during the year after the President's near assassination. Before he had been under the impression that those changes had been what the Satanic organizations had been pulling for the entire time. Still, he knew that it wasn't just Pepito making those bad decisions. The New York Coven shared a lot of the blame. Maybe the difference was just that Marla was from one of the other covens originally, or maybe he was misinterpreting what she was saying just because of how much he wanted even the smallest break down in the uniformity of evil.

Marla rolled her eyes, but smiled back all the same. "You seriously thought I had it out for you?"

"Well, maybe. Sorry. You can be pretty scary."

"Thanks."

"O-oh. Okay." Sure. He could pretend that was a compliment if she wanted to take it that way.

"Oh, I almost forgot. You've got an appointment with me for blood work next week."

"I do?"

"Yeah. Pepito wants to make sure you don't have some kind of chemical imbalance."

"Oh."

"Don't look so worried." She elbowed him gently in the ribs. "We won't need very much. It's just to be on the safe side."

"Alright."

"So, did you read over that safety manual?"

Gah! He should have known that was coming! "I ... would rather not talk about that if it's all the same to you."

"No."

"What?"

"No. It's not all the same. I'm your doctor, and I'm asking you about your physical well being."

He closed his eyes. "Fine. Yes. I read it. I ... uh ... I'll be more careful if it happens again. Thanks."

She smirked at his uneasy continence. "Good. That's all that I ask."


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Silliness, largely inspired by some reviews I've gonna on DA expressing fear for Todd being demonically impregnated (which is not going to happen, sorry).

By the time Marla had dropped Todd back off at the Castevet's, Minnie had already started on dinner, and after washing up, he volunteered to help. He wasn't anywhere near as proficient as Rosemary or Pepito, but leaving Minnie to cook by herself never resulted in anything too appetizing, even after all the extra years of experience she'd apparently had to improve her skills. The rice and salmon were already out of the oven, and he had started cutting red potatoes to go in for garlic roasting when Pepito finally came in.

Both of Pepito's arms wrapped around Todd from behind, his lips landing a quick kiss near his left ear before he spoke in a loud whisper that was meant just as much for Minnie to hear as Todd. "Hello, Todd-honey."

Todd froze on the outside almost completely even as the touches, joking as they were, seemed to ignite a furnace inside his body that had apparently been put there for the purpose of slow-roasting his ever-flipping stomach. The position was too much like the one from his dream. When Pepito's arms widened before an inevitable hug, he shifted his body to the side, darting out of the way, though the kitchen would only allow him a few feet of escape. "Hi, Pepe." He waved a hand that still held the potato knife, only to have Pepito catch his wrist to take it from him.

Turning from Todd and the counter to Minnie, who sat at the table, cutting the ends off of freshly washed asparagus, Pepito held up the offending item for her to see. "Why does he have this?"

"What?" Minnie looked up, then back down with a shacking head. "Oh, Adrian, you can see that I'm watching him. Besides, he's been good today, haven't you, Todd? There's no reason to treat him like an infant."

Pepito sighed, then reluctantly handed it back. "All the same, I'd rather he not do the cutting for a while." 

Todd took the handled end with a slight glare, but managed to bite back a smart comment. He always tried his best not to start an argument in front of the others. The last thing he needed was for more of them to question his position there, and, he reminded himself, Pepito was probably provoking him on purpose, trying to embarrass the bad behavior out of him or something. He went back to the potatoes that he was nearly finished with anyway, dumping them all into a mixing pan, to which he added oil and seasoning, sharing them with Pepito who had taken over the asparagus duty. "How was your day?"

"Not bad. Boring, like I said earlier, but not too bad. Mostly a lot of paper work." He considered for a moment. "We finally have a suspect for the breakout of a the prison compound that I mentioned last night. One of the guards for that section failed to come in today. He'd been off work for the two days before. His apartment was searched, but there's no sign of him having returned there after the breakout. His suitcases are still there."

"Oh?" Todd looked around the kitchen to make sure that Minnie had joined her husband in the living room before meeting Pepito's eyes. "Are you going to search for him?"

Pepito nodded. "Only for him. We've got to ascertain whether or not the Resistance is actively attempting to infiltrate our institutions, of course. That guard is probably guilty of treason. But, don't worry. We're still not specifically after your friends. If they don't get in the way, they'll likely be fine."

Todd looked straight ahead at a paining that hung on the wall that depicted a great Dionysian feast. "I see." In truth, he didn't know if Dib and the others would stay out of harms way, not if that guard was part of the Resistance and Pepito's people were after him. Gretchen was pregnant, so that was incentive, but he wasn't sure if it would be enough.

"Todd, stop worrying so much. You're going to get a stomach ulcer. Look, I finally got a call from Mother today." Pepito shot him a smile that said 'I told you so' when he looked up from the potatoes. "She asked about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"... the truth."

"Really?" Uneasily, Todd shifted back and forth on his feet, pretending that he hadn't already finished with his seasoning. "About last night?"

"Not specifically. I just said that you've been having some problems adjusting and with depression. Of course, she thinks that it's because I've torn a giant, ragged hole in your soul or something."

"O-oh."

Pepito paused in his work, his voice dropping slightly lower. "Do you? Is that what it feels like?"

Looking back down at the potatoes, Todd bit the side of his lower lip for a second. He hadn't expected that question, that was for sure. Pepito sounded almost afraid of the answer somewhere beneath the condescending tone that he had used in respect to Rosemary's beliefs. "I don't know." He forced a small laugh. "It doesn't feel jagged."

"But it does feel like there's a hole?"

"Shouldn't you know, Pepito? I mean, you've made pacts with a lot of people, right? And aren't you supposed to be able to see that sort of thing?"

"Yes. Of course. But none of them have reacted this way, and with you ... no, I'm being silly. There's not a hole. And you're right, I could tell if there was."

"Are you sure?" Todd swallowed dryly, unnerved by how unsure Pepito sounded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, Amigo. It's ridiculous. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Alright." He nodded emphatically to himself. There was no point in worrying about it anyway, not if there was nothing that he could do about it.

Pepito patted him on the shoulder before going back to the green stalks, shifting them around with salad tongs in the garlic and oil. He glanced back up every now and then to watch Todd's face. "So, how was your day? Did Minnie and Roman drive you crazy?"

"No, they were okay." Todd shrugged, then lifted the bowl of potatoes to pour them into a pan for broiling. "I slept for a while, then Marla came over and said she was sorry for being so mean to me lately."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. You didn't tell her to, did you?" He snorted. "It's just that you sound distinctly unsurprised."

"I might have suggested it. But she agreed freely; said she'd been meaning to anyway. Why, what did she say exactly?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just sorry." Closing the oven, Todd gave Pepito a smile that was hopefully convincing. He didn't know how much Marla had told Pepito about her life and her feelings regarding his policies, and considering that, it probably wouldn't be nice to reveal what he had learned. Despite the past few weeks, he actually did want to be her friend. She had been one of the nicer staff members at the work camp, always letting him stay extra time in the medical ward whenever he was in for a beating and giving him extra rations even though she knew he had a tendency to give his own away.

"That's good. Nice, I mean."

"She also said that I have an appointment with her for blood work?"

"Oh, yes. I hope you don't mind, not that you have much of a choice in the matter, of course-"

"Of course."

"I just thought, if it turns out to be something that simple ...."

"Yeah. I understand. I don't really like the idea of taking drugs or whatever, but at this point I'd be willing to try almost anything. It's getting ... really pathetic, isn't it?"

Pepito smiled sadly. "How about desperate? Lets go with that."

"I guess that works too." Todd nudged him with an elbow. "You're getting kind of soft, you know that?"

"Yeah? Maybe your kindness is corrupting me." Shaking his head, he sighed dramatically. "I guess it's time for a cleansing."

"You're being corrupted by good?" Todd laughed. "That's gotta be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Well, you know, discounting nearly everything that I heard in the public school system."

"I'll have you know that this 'good' that you speak of is an infection of the mind, a rather serious one at that. It's called 'bleeding heart syndrome', and it can cause all kinds of suffering."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"What?"

"Nothing."

By the time they had gotten into the meal with Minnie and Roman, most of Todd's anxiety had dissipated in regards to Marla and even Pepito, that is until Minnie started in on Pepito with her opinion on both of their stress levels.

"You know what I bet his problem is, dear?" she asked Pepito, "and a good lot of yours too? You work too much. He doesn't get enough attention, and neither of you get out enough."

"Listen to Minnie, Adrian. You two should take a trip with us. Perhaps to Venice." Roman smiled. "I haven't had a good vacation there in years."

Pepito snorted. "Yeah, two years, wasn't it?"

"No, I'm sure it's been longer than that. As I seem to recall-"

"No, no, Roman," Minnie plowed ahead, "A trip isn't going to help, not in the long run. What he needs is to cut back at the office for good. You know, just work a little less each day. Then him and Todd could get some quality time together. You can't say that Adrian hasn't lost some of that awful tension in the time that Todd's with us."

"No I can't, dear. But I still think a trip would do them both some good, as long as no business were mixed in, of course."

Minnie shook her head. "Just think about it, Adrian. You take some time off, I bet you'll both feel one hundred percent better! If you had enough time, you might even want to fill it with some babies of your own." She stuffed a bite of potato into her mouth, then pointed the fork at Todd. "Do you want babies, honey? I bet you two would make some beautiful babies."

Nearly chocking on a piece of salmon, Todd raised a cloth napkin from his lap to cough into it roughly as Pepito padded him on the back. By the time his throat was clear, his face was red, not just from lack of air, and he was sure that he had heard her wrong, or misinterpreted what she had meant. At the same time he could tell by his overly reserved smile that Pepito was holding in laughter. Maybe she had finally caught on to the couple joke, and decided that it was time for revenge?

"Aww. Are you okay, Toddy?" Minnie rubbed Todd's lower arm, her voice overly smooth like she was talking to a child that had just had skinned his knee.

"Uh, yeah. I ... I'm good."

"Good!" She clapped her hands together happily. "So what about those babies? You know, Adrian's children will be the closest thing we'll have to grandchildren."

Todd looked to Pepito helplessly, hoping that somehow something about the words that were still leaving Minnie's mouth would start making sense.

"I'm afraid Todd doesn't know very much about demonic reproduction, do you, heh, darling?" Pepito smiled at the almost comical look that had taken over Todd's face, then looked back at Minnie. "Besides, don't you think that's something that Todd and I should discuss in private?"

"Well, if it's a sore subject!"

"It's not. But it's a big decision. Not everyone wants children." Sighing, Pepito looked down at his plate. He had tried to choose his words carefully, but it obviously hadn't worked. He probably should have never let them think that he and Todd were together romantically, but then they would have been trying to get them together because according to Minnie they had always been aware of his 'very obvious feelings for Todd'. But either way, what he had said was true. Still, try telling that to people who had lived during a time when reproduction was considered the completion of a family, and who happened to be unable to conceive.

When no one seemed to be saying anything else, Todd took a deep drink of his wine in hopes that it would help take the edge off of the suddenly tense dinner. It didn't seem to help much, though the conversation eventually picked back up toward the end. By the time they left the apartment for their own, Minnie and Roman had both seemed in high spirits again, hugging each of them good night.

They both got dressed quickly, and Todd forced himself to wait until Pepito had closed the door to the limo that would take them to the play before finally saying what he had been thinking the whole time. "What the hell was that all about?"

"What?" Pepito gave him the most innocent look that he could conjure.

"You know what. That ... that thing with the babies that Minnie was talking about." He shook his head as if he could physically dislodge the idea.

"Oh, that. You know how old people get about kids. Well, maybe not your grandparents, but-"

"Pepito, you've got to tell them the truth. This whole thing is getting really freakish, and you're going to have to eventually anyway." He cringed. "And how is that even supposed to work?"

"There are several ways, actually. First, there's the traditional demonic method, which would basically involve the demon, me in this case, as one of the spiritual parents and a human man and woman as the biological parents. That's the way that I came into being. My science department is also working on another method for same sex biological parents. Of course, two women is pretty straight forward. With two men, you still need a third parent, a woman obviously, because of mitochondrial DNA. Plus, it's still proving pretty hard to simulate a uterus, though I expect the great Professor will come up with an acceptable model eventually."

He smiled as Todd's eyes grew wide. Obviously he hadn't quite caught up with the scientific advances that had taken place under Satanic rule. "Still, I don't have to tell you that most men would have a hard time finding a woman willing to carry a child for them. At least for under a small fortune, which I have to admit surrogates deserve. But, being the Antichrist has it's advantages. If I ever had a desire to procreate using that method, not only have I got the money but I'm pretty sure I've an adequate number of followers who would consider it an honor."

"An honor to be your incubation chamber?"

"Todd, must you find fault with everything?" He sighed. "They would be more like a chosen vessel. For many, I am their god, you know. It would afford them a very high status within the ranks. And it's not like I would force anyone, or choose some fourteen year old, unmarried peasant girl with a high likelihood of being stoned to death for it. And in any event, this is all highly hypothetical, as in _if_ we ever wanted that."

"We?" Todd's arms wrapped around his own body protectively. "As in you and me?"

"Oh, come on, Todd, stop acting so distraught." Pepito bit back a laugh. "Besides, you know you want my babies."

"Eww. No." He scooted over to the opposite end of the limo seat. "I think I like it better over here."

"What, so I'm gross now? Or you think I'd be a bad father?"

"Pep, I've always thought you were a little gross. This just reinforces it. And if the way you've been treating me lately is any indication, I think you would probably be a pretty good parent, okay? The only problem is that I'm not a little kid."

"I know that. I just ... I worry about you, you know. I thought that after the initiation, you would calm down, accept that you'd done your best and that it's okay now for you to relax and, hell, maybe even enjoy your life a little. But that doesn't seem to be happening, and I honestly don't know what to do about it."

Looking down at his clasped hands that now rested in his lap, Todd murmured his words softly, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Pepito shuffled over until he was once again sitting close to Todd, then raised a hesitate hand to drape about his shoulders. "I'm not angry; I just wish I knew how to make you happy." He laughed a little under his breath because it had always seemed so easy, so natural in his mind. Once he had Todd, things would just fall into place, and neither of them would ever look back.

"I wish I did too." Leaning back further into the seat cushions and Pepito's arm, Todd let the moment drag on. Apparently neither of them knew what to say because it was a few minutes before Pepito broke the silence when he picked up the conversation anew.

"So, do you want any?"

"Any what?"

"Offspring. Oh, not with me. Just in general."

Todd let out a deep breath. "We've talked about this before, haven't we?"

"Well, yes, but that was in high school. I just figured that you might have changed your mind within the last decade or so. Especially considering that the main reason was your parents, right? But you've been away from them for a long time now."

"Pepito, most people learn parental skills from their parents, usually unconsciously. All that potential for neglect, even abuse, could still be lurking deep inside my brain, and it would be unethical to risk that. Plus, I think that having children, especially when you could adopt, is incredibly greedy. And when the world is in this state, that's pretty unacceptable."

"What state would that be, Amigo?"

"On the brink of war, you jerk. Supposedly the ultimate war. And you want to have kids before it happens?"

"No. I wouldn't want to give the opposition that kind of potential leverage. Most of my, very tentative, family plans are scheduled for after the war. The war just so happens to be not so far away anymore."

"So after the war, assuming you win-"

"And I will."

Todd shrugged. "After the war, when you and the coven are immortal, you're going to just keep on having children? Aren't you trying to decrease the population?"

"Yes, I am. But that's the whole point. There will be room on Earth for new children then, and there will be room for robots and androids to make up the bulk of the service industry. The balance will have to be carefully maintained, of course, with population control and IQ tests for potential parents. The children wouldn't be immortal unless they earned it, most immortal humans will still be able to die by accident, and reincarnation from Hell would balance the population."

"That makes sense, I guess." It left Todd wondering what was going to happen to the rest of the population during the war to downsize it that much by the end, but he held that question back. He had to remember that he couldn't change it, and therefore it was probably best if he didn't know to begin with.

"Also, do me a favor and don't mention this to anyone yet, but I think that after the Republic of Hell on Earth has become stable enough, we should start colonizing other planets. It's ridiculous that in all the time people have been thinking about the end of days, they've always seemed to assume that the Earth is the be all and end all of existence. The Christians seem to think that the sun is never going to expand! Of course, that's Christians for you. I know that most of the prophecies were written before we understood such things, but come on. It's high time for an update, don't you think?"

Todd just smiled and nodded. It was a good point, and probably an even better idea if the immortality thing was widely instituted. Even so, he had always hoped that by the time the human race went to space to live that they would be beyond petty religious bickering and other such prejudices, and not because they had some apocalyptic war to solve them. By the time that he had started to worry about what to say next, the limo had saved him, parking in front of the theater to let them out.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: kissing and some sexual stuff but not too graphic, dubious consent, freakish implications, fragile mental states

Yawning as they returned to the apartment fresh from the play, Todd sought out the clock on the mantel piece, confirming that it was well passed midnight. He looked back to Pepito, who was busy discarding his jacket. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"No. I have a short meeting in the afternoon, but otherwise, I'm free." He stepped closer to grip the lapels of Todd's jacket. "May I take your coat-mi tesoro?"

"Don't start that again." Todd rolled his eyes, but shrugged the item off anyway, watching as Pepito hung it up on the coat rack near the front door. "You are going to have to tell them, you know."

"Yes, so you've said."

"And so I meant." Todd huffed, arms crossing his chest. "Otherwise, what are you going to tell them when it becomes really obvious? Like when you get married, or I move out, or if I actually find someone someday. Are we going to have to pretend that we broke up then? Because I'm not doing it."

"Oh, you're not?" Pepito raised an amused brow. "Not even if I command you to? It wouldn't violate your contract."

"Pepito-"

Sensing an impending argument, Pepito raised both hands in surrender. "I know, Amigo. I will tell them ... eventually. They're going to be very displeased."

"I would be too if you'd lied to me for that long, or let me assume, as I'm sure you'd put it." Todd shook his head at how Pepito had let the deceit build up for so long simply because it was convenient, but smiled all the same as he turned back around to head into the hall. It was really too ridiculous not to be funny. And he had to admit that Minnie and Roman could get a bit overbearing, and it was probably much, much worse for Pepito than for himself.

"That's exactly how I would put it, but you're right. I should tell them." And he would, soon, if nothing happened before then to make their assumptions valid. Ever since his mother's Valentines Day party, that had been an eventual part of his plan for Todd, to save him from the frigid clutches of the Christ. Now that he owned his soul, of course, it was no longer a necessary development. Still, that plan had allowed him to become shamefully attached to the idea. If nothing else, his mother had apparently been correct about 'the look'.

Following Todd into the hall, he cleared his throat so that he would turn back around when they came to the fork between his room and the bigger bathroom. "So, I take it that you still plan to move out? Even after our discussion yesterday?"

"I don't know, Pepe." Todd ran his fingers awkwardly through his hair. "Probably. If I ever become stable enough." He laughed a little. "Maybe I'll move into another mental ward."

"I'm sure it won't come to that." Pepito frowned. He wasn't even sure if the last comment was supposed to be a joke. "Do you think counseling might help?"

"I don't know." Todd let himself lean back against the wall beside the bathroom. "It's ... it was really hard for me to find anyone I could talk to even before."

"And now?"

"Well, now, it's got to be someone who's initiated at a high enough level to hear anything I might say, right? In case some of it's related to coven business?"

"Yes."

"And they would probably be required to report back to the coven, right?"

"Not necessarily. Not unless you were doing or planning something that would make you a threat." Pepito raised a brow. "You're not, are you?"

"No. I just ... not all of my thoughts comply with what you want."

"That's okay. I never wanted you to be a zombie." He smiled. "I'm not particularly fond of those, actually."

"Me neither. But you wanted me to be a Satanist." Todd looked down for a moment before meeting his gaze as best he could in the darkened passage. His voice went a little lower. "Am I one?"

Pepito took his right hand. "Does it matter?"

"... no. I guess not." He looked back down. 

"It doesn't matter to me either. Not really." His grip tightened, pressing their marks together, and he stepped closer, his free hand finding Todd's chin, tilting his head up level with his own to offer him a small smile. "No matter what the others say, I don't care. As long as you're my Todd and you're safe; that's enough. That's all I ever wanted."

Todd smiled at the words that somehow seemed to fill him with sorrow and joy at the same time, tasting a salty tear that had rolled down his cheek. In his own twisted way, Pepito probably did really care for him. He was sure now that Edgar had been wrong about that part at least.

Hand moving up from his chin, Pepito wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "Todd?"

As Pepito leaned in closer, lips barely brushing against the corner of his mouth to kiss away a second tear, Todd's body went rigid, pressing itself further back against the wall. For a few seconds he was overly conscious of the tingly warmth that their joined hands seemed to generate, only realizing after Pepito pulled back some that he had also been holding his breath.

Pepito let his hand fall from Todd's face to his left upper arm, which he attempted to squeeze with firm reassurance. "Hey, you alright? I'm sorry if I-" His words were cut off when Todd suddenly leaned forward to press a kiss quickly, but solidly to his own lips, pulling back with a shake of his head afterward.

"It's okay."

"It's okay, as in you forgive me or as in I can do it again?"

"Umm." Todd looked back down. This definitely wasn't like it had been in high school, at least not for him. Maybe it had been that dream, or all the couple jokes, or maybe it went all the way back to that time in college. Maybe it had even been there under the surface in high school, but whatever the reason, it felt more meaningful, more passionate than it had back then. He looked back up, breaking free of those thoughts, when Pepito kissed him again, this time lightly on the forehead, before pulling him into a loose hug.

"It's alright, Amigo. You know you don't owe me that, right?"

"Even though you own me? I thought that meant that you could ask for anything you want as long as it's not in the contract?"

"I could, but I wouldn't. I don't want it like that." They were both quite for a moment, then Pepito gave Todd a final squeeze before letting go when he seemed to relax some. "Ready for bed?"

"Actually, I think I'll sleep in my own room, if you don't mind."

"Er, I did mean bed as in to sleep."

Todd smiled. "I know. It's not ... because of that. I just need my own space sometimes."

"Alright. Goodnight then, Todd."

"Night, Pep." Letting out a purposefully dramatic sigh when Pepito ruffled his hair, Todd attempted to comb it back down into shape with his fingers on his way into his own room. He closed the door, turning the lock slowly into place as if its presence was a secret. Pepito could open it with his powers, of course, but it still made him feel more generally safe.

After that, he undressed, hanging the suite he had worn to the theater carefully in his closet and changing into a pajama outfit. He frowned as he closed the closet door at the laundry that he had to do while Pepito was at that meeting tomorrow, but did his best to push the reminder to the back of his mind as he turned out his light and crawled into bed. His eyelids came down like dark curtains, and for a brief moment he was at peace. He watched the true black fade to static gray as his eyes adjusted to the light that even his covered windows let in from the street outside. The static formed vague, Rorschach images like thoughts resurfacing to break his calm.

"Fuck." Bringing his hands up to his eyes, he rubbed them tiredly, but the static wouldn't go away. He just wanted to sleep! He just wanted for once to lay down alone and not be bombarded by his unconscious mind with worries and guilt and now stupid thoughts about feelings and Pepito. Pulling the covers over his head to reclaim the darkness, he resolved to think of nothing. Once he let his mind start, he knew that it would get carried away, taking him on an endless tangent of needless over-thinking.

The nothing held good for at least thirty minutes, but he was still awake, and reflection on that fact easily led his slippery mind to others. Had he always had insomnia? He thought that he had, though in a milder form, even before selling his soul. Now it seemed like he needed to stay awake until he was so tried that he could just pass out to keep his mind from its restless habits. Either that or sleep with Pepito. It was the presence of another person, he decided, that kept him just occupied enough not to get lost in his own mental terrain, but still relaxed enough to fall asleep. Or maybe it was just Pepito.

Of course it was Pepito! He laughed lightly, forcing himself to let go of the denial that he had tried so hard to build up that very morning, even though he knew that he would employ it again as soon as the sun came up. It seemed like it had always been Pepito, but he had always been able to say no before, to the Antichrist and to himself, before those kinds of feelings had even had a chance to build a nest in his mind. Friendship too was pushing it. There had always been the fear that everything that Pepito said to him was a lie to snare his soul. Now he knew that wasn't true, and it was a huge relief, but there was still plenty to fear.

What Marla had said to him on the roof had been true. The fate his soul was already decided, so whatever he might do now wouldn't matter. He could go through with it, if he wanted to. The thing was that he didn't want to. He couldn't let himself develop those kinds of feelings for Pepito, not then and not now. Todd had never been the causal type, and he knew that for Pepito it would only be a good time. It wouldn't mean anything.

He sighed, tossing the covers that felt like they were trying to suffocate him from his head. Surely, even in this state, he hadn't grown pathetic enough to want that, to set himself up for that kind of inevitable pain. Besides, that latest dream had contained definite nightmare elements as well, at least toward the end. For all he knew it might really be like that. A memory of Pepito holding him close as his finger closed over Todd's to pull the trigger at the Guard Station emerged from the static to make him shiver.

He suddenly felt a ridiculous fear that maybe it wasn't over yet. Maybe Pepito wanted to thoroughly corrupt him as well as own his soul, to make him aware of some sort of twisted enjoyment of the worst of sins, to make him embrace it. Another, deeper fear rose up like bile in his throat. What if that was why none of the other coven members were depressed! What if that was the only way to stop the agony of his heart and soul being in two different places.

His arm shot out to the side to grab Shmee, whom he then held to his chest as he forced himself to calm down as best he could. He yawned, then decided that he was being stupid. The clock on his night stand read 1:23, and he needed to be up in the morning. Keeping Shmee in his grip, he got to his feet, shuffling through the dark room. His fingers found the lock instinctively, and he turned it, then pulled the door open and turned to the right.

He stopped at Pepito's door with the knob in hand, hesitant for a moment. Subtle noises could be heard through the door: rustling sheets and every now and then squeaky bed springs. Todd held his breath in hopes of making little noise, then slowly turned the knob. He froze, forcing in and out swallow breaths before holding it again and pushing the door open a crack. There was a small creak that made him cringe, but he seemed to be the only one to notice, and he soon found himself to be cringing at something else entirely.

Clapping his mouth shut, he stared at the scene before him, confident that one of them would notice him standing there, but they didn't, or they pretended not to. Maybe it was because there was no light in the hall and several candles were lit in Pepito's room. Fine. Good. He closed the door as slowly as he had opened it, then took a few steps back and to the left, finally leaning against the wall between their doors. He slid down into a sitting position to bury his face in Shmee's fur even though the light from Pepito's room had made the hallway return to black in his eyes.

His breathing had picked up now, but Shmee, who now rested against his knees while both arms wrapped around them and part of his head in a hug, muffled it. He felt like he was going a little more insane, like he had just seen a preview of Hell and he wanted to laugh hysterically, but that would probably not be smart. Then again, he didn't seem to be very smart these days.

Why had he opened the door? The sounds should have been a clue, and he had thought for a second that maybe Marla-but he would have heard her come in. He would have heard any human come in. Demons ... he should have known. How was he ever going to get those images, grotesque images that he didn't think would be possible for living humans to preform or desire, out of his head?

A light creaking startled him out of his thoughts, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end when he realized that it was once again coming from Pepito's door. Slowly, he raised his head, his arms now firmly clutching his bear to his chest like when he was just a small terrified child that everyone called Squee. As he tried to regulate his breathing again, he told himself that it was nothing. He hadn't closed the door all the way. The air pressure was different in Pepito's room because of the fireplace, so a door that hadn't been properly closed could open on its own.

Inch by tense inch he turned his head to the right, stopping dead when the creaking halted and a clanking sound took its place. He fought the impulse to close his eyes as the thing crawled into his view, seeing that the sound had come from the two inch long black dagger like claws that extended from each of its hands and feet, tapping against the wood floor. On top of an emaciated frame of bone and muscle, it's skin alternated in patches of charred black and dark red, but it looked more like it was born or purposefully grown that way than a result of being burned. Its ears were pointed up, elf-like, below a series of small horns on each side of its head. Its back arched up like an ancient reptile to let more horn-like spikes poke out on top as it turned to look at him with glowing yellow eyes, a guttural growl issuing forth from it's bloody, fang-filled mouth.

Todd scooted back, toward his own room, but the demon came too, walking in a semicircle, slowly, as if to draw out his fear.

"Hello there, little boy," the growl went low enough to turn into a grainy voice as the demon tilted its head to one side, "My, you're very far from home, aren't you? Tell me now, did you get lost?"

One of Todd's hands gripped the end of his door frame. "S-sorry. I ... I'm going back now."

The demon shook its head. "Back? No, I don't think you can go back. Might as well come with us now, little lamb, but I'm afraid we're no shepherds." It licked its lips with a harsh laugh.

Todd turned his head to the side, away from the claw that suddenly ran along his skin, as though making sure he knew how very easy it was to break. "Please don't. Go away. Won't you just go away?"

"No, Todd, I won't just go away." Pepito sighed and shook him harder, ignoring the weak pushing and kicking, as he pinned him to the hall floor by his shoulders. "Now, come on, wake up." He was just about to summon a glass of cold water from the kitchen when Todd finally opened his eyes, which widened as soon as they focused on him.

"Pepito?" Todd's hands that had been in the process of shoving at Pepito's shoulder instead grasped the fabric of his nightshirt tightly to pull him down, closer. At the same time, he looked to the sides as best he could, seeing no signs of the demon. Instead there was light, sunlight, casting shadows in the hall from the rooms that encircled it. He let his head fall back onto the floor and a deep sigh leave his lungs. "What happened?"

Pepito cocked an eyebrow. "Why don't you tell me?" He attempted to push himself up and off of Todd with one arm, but failed miserably when the other's grip wouldn't let go. "Uh, Todd? As fond as I am of this position, could you let go for a moment?"

"Oh!" He let go immediately, noticing as Pepito sat up that Shmee had been squished into the wall during the struggle and picking him up.

Dusting himself off, Pepito picked up a manila folder, then held it out to Todd. "I was going to put this on your nightstand for when you woke up, but I tripped over your body in the hall on the way. It's some of those letters I told you I'd bring home, remember? I forgot to give them to you last night."

"I ... I remember. Thanks, Pep." Taking the folder carefully, Todd tried to smile. "Sorry."

"I'll live. What were you doing out here anyway?"

"I don't know. I guess I must have fallen asleep." He shook his head, then looked down at the folder as Pepito stood up, wondering how much of it had been a dream. His eyes started to sting as he realized that he couldn't tell anymore, but he wiped them anyway to take Pepito's hand so that he could help him to his feet when he cleared his throat. He really was going insane.

"Todd? Are you okay?" Pepito asked, not yet letting go of his hand. His eyes looked hollow and haunted. "Bad dream?"

Todd nodded.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shook his head. The only thing worse than not knowing how much was true would have to be knowing. Wiggling his hand free of Pepito, he used it to cover a yawn as he stretched. "You know how I am with nightmares; I'll be okay. I-" another yawn, "just wish that I actually felt like I'd slept, and that my back wasn't killing me for staying in that position."

Pepito nodded sympathetically. "Why don't you go have a hot bath, and I'll fix some breakfast?"

"Okay." Todd offered him another smile as he let him take the folder to the kitchen for later. He was still nervous as he made his way into the bathroom, only noticing that he still had Shmee when he opened the closet for towels. Sitting him on the sink counter, he mentally debated the pros and cons of leaving the bathroom door open during his bath. Both options were scary, but he decided on open. If that thing came back, if he had another _dream_ , he told himself, he could call for Pepito easier that way. It wasn't as if closed doors mattered to demons or dreams anyway.

After running himself a hot bath with plenty of bubbles and oils, he let himself sink down into the comforting embrace of the water until his entire body was submerged, trying not to remember some strange quote from an unknown source about drowning being like a never-ending hug from God. Even though he had never tried it, he was pretty sure that wasn't an apt description. Finally coming back up when breathing demanded it, he quickly washed himself, then lay his head back on a bath pillow that he had placed against the wall of the tub, covering his eyes with a wet rag still hot from the steaming water.

He soaked for a while, keeping his consciousness just above the threshold of sleep and letting the smells of bacon and eggs fill his nostrils, until the water was lukewarm and he knew that if he didn't get out soon, Pepito would come to get him. This assumption proved right a few moments later when Pepito showed up just as he stepped out of the tub and pulled his bathrobe together.

Pepito knocked three times on the frame of the open door, then leaned against it. "Good timing."

"Barely."

"But that's just the way I like it." He smiled as Todd walked past him with a disturbed look. "What? It's makes things more interesting."

"Right. Interesting. Well, I'll be out in a second." Todd started to close the door to his room, but only managed about half way when Pepito's hand stopped it.

"Actually, Todd, I was hoping that maybe you'd changed your mind about talking with me ... about that nightmare, about anything else. Also, you forgot your teddy bear." He poked Shmee through the door, tilting the bear back and forth in a silly little dance until he finally managed to coerce a smile from Todd.

Rolling his eyes, Todd grabbed Shmee and released his hold on the door, headed over to the bed to take a seat. He waited until Pepito had joined him, both of them sitting on the lower side with the left corner between them, before he started. "I don't know what you want me to say. I don't really want to talk about the dream, but it was disturbing. And it felt really real, but maybe I was sleep walking. Or maybe I'm just loosing my mind. Any thoughts?"

Pepito forced a smile when Todd looked to the side, at him. "The sleep walking theory sounds good."

Looking away, straight forward, Todd brought his legs up to the metal ledge of the bed to rest his elbows on them and his chin on one fist. "Pepito, something's really wrong with me."

"I know." Climbing onto the bed on his knees, Pepito wrapped his arms around Todd from behind, noting that he had once again tensed at the contact, though after a few moments one hand came up to land atop his own on Todd's upper chest. He rested his own forehead against Todd's hair, letting out a soft sigh.

"It's related to what you said yesterday, isn't it? About your mom thinking that there's a hole in my soul?" A tear formed at the corner of one eyes when Pepito's grip tightened at those words.

"My mother isn't qualified to make that kind of diagnosis, but that is part of what we're going to check on next week. I'm having some special equipment moved into Marla's lab."

"That's why we have to wait so long?"

Pepito nodded. "The equipment measures and scans more than I can myself, but I could probably make a good guess as to your problem, if you want. You'll still need the checkup, though, to be sure."

"Alright." Todd froze again when Pepito's hands moved to pull down the sides of his robe. "Is that, uh, part of the guessing? Like when I had to be naked to be healed before."

"Yes. Skin to skin contact makes it easier, although, you could probably put on some underwear if you're uncomfortable. I may need to pull it down a little, but-"

"Okay! That sounds good." When Pepito let go, Todd found a black pair in his dresser's bottom drawer, which he slipped on beneath the robe before taking it off. He shrugged, doing his best to pretend that this wasn't any more awkward than it would have been before the kissing the night before, or before the horrible dream. "Where do you want me?"

Pepito only smiled and shook his head, holding back the smart, flirty comment that wanted to be heard. He patted the mattress instead. "Todd, I'll be right back."

"Great, give me time to get uncomfortable," Todd muttered as he lay down on the bed, staring worriedly at his ceiling. When Pepito returned a few minutes later, he had a smoking incense burner in one hand that smelled a lot like his robes tended to after ritual. His brow creased. "Tannis root? Didn't you say something about that stuff being related to marijuana?"

Moving onto the bed now himself, to the side of Todd's legs, Pepito nodded. "It should help you stay calm and bring your spiritual side closer to the surface." He frowned when Todd only seemed to tense up more. "Hey, Amigo? Relax, okay? I promise I'm not trying to molest you or anything. I know you're not ready for that."

Todd propped himself up on his elbows. "I didn't think you were trying to molest me. And what do you mean 'ready'?"

"Uh, I just thought ... I didn't mean to imply that ... never mind. Just think of this as an oil-free massage, okay? Health purposes. Actually, I could help your sore back real quick with my evil healing powers if you want."

Todd shot him a suspicious look with one eye wider than the other for all the mumbling, but turned over to expose his still achy back all the same. He felt surprisingly untroubled by whatever that might have meant. "Thanks. Hey, can healing powers really be evil? I've always been confused by that. Ever since you learned them, I mean."

"I suppose that depends upon one's philosophy. For me, being evil is about living life to the fullest of your hearts desire, holding nothing back because of dogma or fear of sin. Most Christians seem to think that anything that involves freedom from complete submission to the will of their god is evil, whether it brings good or harm."

Doing his best to relax as Pepito's hands went to work massaging his shoulders and running up and down his back, Todd mulled it over. He had never quite believed either of those things. Then again, he tended to think that God's will and harm were mutually exclusive, though he knew most people didn't. All thoughts ceased for a moment and he let out a groan when a heat, familiar from the initiation, seemed to sink into his muscles, shocking them out of their tense state. For a second there was pure heat and then it was gone, as was the pain. "Wow."

"Better?"

Todd turned over. "A lot better. And I feel kind of okay ... emotionally content too."

"Like all of your cares and worries are gone? Yeah, I might have cheated there a bit." Leaning over him, Pepito smiled as he ran one hand slowly up and down an arm. "Think you can forgive me?"

Todd tilted his head to the side, but returned the smile. He felt very vaguely unsettled by having his emotions manipulated by Pepito's powers, but it wasn't exactly the first time. Pepito had used it at times to calm him after particularly bad nightmares or during panic attacks when they were younger, and it was definitely better than freaking out through the whole check-up thing. This was the side of sloth that he wished he naturally had more of. "Well, just this once."

"Thanks. Now breath evenly and trust me, got it?"

"Yeah."

"Promise?"

"I ... I promise," he stumbled a little over the words even in the uncaring, slothful state that he was in because he still had enough presence of mind to know what would come next, and come it did. Any mistrust or fear drained away almost immediately so that when Pepito leaned down more to press a kiss to his lips, he didn't pull back at all. On the second kiss, his hand made its way into Pepito's hair to keep him there, and then his tongue was in his mouth, slowly rubbing and entangling with his own.

The dream from the night before was a fragmented haze tucked into a dark corner in the very back of his mind. Beyond that, he knew something else should be bothering him, but he couldn't remember what. There was no Jamie this time; she had died years ago and they had broken up years before that, and Marla didn't care. He already belonged to Pepito, and maybe it didn't matter if it meant nothing. Maybe it just mattered that it felt good and comforting now.

Pepito's hand's traveled over his body from the very top of his head down, sometimes flat on the skin and sometimes an inch or so above, hovering at each chakra before moving on. As he did so, he placed short kisses on each one, ignoring the little voice that tried to tell him that despite how much he was enjoying it now, Todd was probably going to be pissed about the extra intimacy when it was over. It really couldn't be helped very much though. Sure, the kisses weren't strictly needed, but if he was distressed, his energy readings the would be affected. Besides, the way his body and soul responded to each simply touch in this state was too enthralling.

After kissing his throat chakra, he moved to the side of his neck, encouraged by the needy hands that were holding his upper arm and back. Still, he made sure to keep the kisses as chaste as he could because for the sake of Todd's mental stability he probably couldn't afford to get carried away. When Todd started kissing him back on the side of his face, he moved up to his ear, giving it a kiss and a gentle suck before whispering into it. "I love you, Todd. My Todd."

"My Pepe."

Pepito looked into his eyes, struck somehow by the simple, childlike words. It was amazing how innocent Todd still was deep down beneath all of the scars that life had given. "Always." Smiling, he placed another gentle kiss on his lips before moving back down to the rest of his body, this time being even more careful with the kisses and wondering if Todd knew that he was the only one, besides his parents, of course, that would likely ever be allowed to think of him as 'their Pepe'.

Breathing in the poignant smell of the burning herb, Todd looked down at Pepito, whose hands were slowly making their way down his chest, and then back up at the swirling design of the ceiling. His whole body felt warm like he was blushing, but he didn't feel embarrassed or agitated. Aside from the occasional tickling, this was a lot like the bath, or like a spiritual bath, really. Pepito's hands, glowing a light green though he wasn't in full demonic form, were hot like the steaming water, making him consider that maybe he had fallen asleep in the tub after all.

"You're not dreaming, Amigo."

Todd laughed. "Hey, stick to reading my body, will you?"

"Sure. Although technically, your soul is the point." He smiled. "But you know, since it's connected to your body ...."

"Uh-huh. And what is my soul saying exactly?"

"Well, you'll be glad to know that there's not a hole."

"Really?" Todd heaved himself up onto his shoulders again to look down at Pepito, who was now sitting between his legs and stroking one lower thigh.

"Yeah, so that's really good, but your chakras are out of balance. I can't tell how serious it is yet, but it's mainly the crown chakra and the base chakra. We'll need to wait with the crown to get a scan because it feels very closed off. The base; however, has a pretty simple solution."

Todd let Pepito pull him into a near sitting position against the pillows when he came forward and reached out for his hands. He lay the side of his head against Pepito shoulder, watching contently as his mark of radial sixes was traced once again. "Heh. That tickles."

"Doesn't it? Just think of it was pay back for all those times you insisted on holding my left hand when we were kids." Pepito laughed when Todd made a pouting face. "I'm sorry, Amigo. Let me make it better."

As Pepito kissed his hand, Todd felt a great swelling warmth in his palm and his soul, and he shifted slightly closer. When the kiss was over, he could see that the mark had begun to glow a light red that became slightly brighter when Pepito blew on it, seeming to trace the mark with his breath. He gave him a curious look, but only received a kiss to the cheek for it, and then Pepito was pulling the elastic waist of his underwear away from his body to slip Todd's own hand, which he still held, inside and against his abdomen.

"Feel that?"

"The swirling?"

Pepito nodded. "That's the base chakra. It's kind of like a vortex to manage and direct your spiritual energy. This one handles instinct, security and sexuality among other things, and yours is very tensed up, kind of like your back muscles were earlier. You need to become comfortable with that part of yourself."

Pepito's hand rubbed against his own in his underwear before moving it again, this time wrapping it around his half-erect penis. The sudden heat from his own hand made him gasp in surprise, and he looked up with wide eyes as his free hand took a hold of Pepito's wrist. "I thought you weren't going to molest me."

"I'm not. But I really think you should." Pepito smiled as he removed his own hand and kissed Todd one more time before pulling back. "Come out for breakfast when you're ready."

Watching Pepito's back until he had retreated and closed the door behind him, Todd leaned back further into the pillows with a deep sigh. He could tell that some, but not all, of the emotional influence had left with Pepito. It was enough to allow him to feel highly conflicted.

%MCEPASTEBIN%


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sex of a disturbing variety (M/M-ish, demonic, kind of incest, dubious consent, pain), angst

Pepito let the hot water from the shower head massage his body in a repeating pattern that was set for relaxation as he did his best to keep up the level of control that he'd placed on Todd before. Todd needed that control to remain relaxed enough to do what he needed to. At the same time, Pepito was trying not to dwell on exactly what it was that he was doing, and what he was possibly, hopefully, thinking about in the process, but he had to admit that it wasn't working too well. He had to keep tabs on Todd's feelings the whole time to keep the negative ones at bay, and that meant that he was very much aware of the same throbbing need that had seemed contagious in the bedroom.

He sighed as he gave in, taking his member into his hand and the memories from before into his mind. It wouldn't cause any harm anyway, now that he was away from Todd, even if the mental link made it slightly voyeuristic. Even if what he really wanted was to open the link more thoroughly to find out exactly what Todd was thinking about, if it was the same thing he was thinking about.

The entire scenario was replayed in his imagination, Todd's lips and skin and most of all his words making Pepito feel both incredibly aroused and strangely warm and fuzzy inside. In his mind, he followed a different time line: one where Todd had called to him before he left the room, asking him softly if he would stay; one where Pepito had held him and caressed him and whispered sweet encouraging words between kisses until they were both panting and Todd was asking if he could touch him too.

A loud knocking rattled his brain until such thoughts were shaken loose, along with his hold on Todd's mind, and he realized when the sound repeated, through a haze of steam and fading pleasure, that someone was actually knocking on the shower door. After calming his breathing, he opened the door a few inches so that he could stick his head out. He wasn't really surprised that it was Todd, seeing as how he was the only other person in the apartment, but he was surprised that Todd was still clad only in a pair of tight black underpants. "Uh, hey, Amigo." He smiled stupidly. "May I help you?"

Todd bit the left side of his lower lip as he gripped his left arm with his right hand, which looked as if he was giving himself a small hug. "Hi, Pepe. I, uh, tried to do what you said, but it was a lot harder after you were gone." He looked down at his bare feet for a moment, then back up. "Do you think I could come in?"

For a few seconds, Pepito just stood there with the shower door half-way open, completely confused.

With a shrug, Todd smiled at his furrowed brow. "It's kind of cold out here. Of course, if you'd prefer not to have company, I could go sit by the fire."

"No! That's, uh, sure, you can come in." Pepito stepped back into the downpour, holding the door open until Todd was inside as well.

"Mmm. That's much better," Todd said as he too stepped into the hot water.

"Yeah." Pepito shook his head, even while a smirk was forming on his own lips. "Can I offer you a drink? I'm afraid all I've got on hand is water, but I could summon some tea bags."

Todd laughed. "I take it you're not accustomed to entertaining here?"

"Not so. I've entertained here before quite a few times, but I'm afraid that the company usually isn't so refined."

"'Refined'?" Todd raised a brow.

Pepito nodded. "The attire is usually more causal as well."

"What's more causal than underwear?"

"Nothing." He grinned.

"But then ... oh. That's cute." He looked Pepito over with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So I'm over dressed. Would it make you feel better if I was dressed more like you?"

"It might help." Pepito wrapped his arms around Todd when he stepped forward and pulled him closer by his upper arm at the same time. Their lips came together again and again before one of his hands finally managed to hold on to the back of Todd's head to get a deeper kiss as the other one ran up and down a slick back. He shivered when his own back pressed against the cold shower wall while Todd's warm chest pressed against his own, their erections rubbing together through the thin layer of underwear.

Todd eventually pulled back to speak in a husky tone, "Wanna be a gracious host and help me take it off?"

"I ... that sounds good, but-wait." His hand gripped the elastic band of the underwear, this time to hold it in place instead of pulling it down. The other one tilted Todd's face up to look him in the eyes. "You're not under my control now. How do you feel?"

Smirking, Todd looked down between their bodies, then back up at Pepito. "You can't tell? I thought you said I needed this."

Pepito nodded. "I just want to make sure you're really alright with it. I mean, obviously, we don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just thought that being with another person would be a little too much right-"

"Pepe, be quiet. Don't over think it."

"You're right. Sorry."

"I'll forgive you if you make it up to me."

"And how to you propose I do that?"

"Well, first you can stop being rude and help me off with my attire."

"Of course. Where are my manners?" Pepito pulled Todd close for a moment to switch their positions around, kneeling in front of him afterward and taking both sides of the underwear into hand. He leaned forward to press soft kisses onto Todd's belly and abdomen as the black fabric slowly came down. When he came down to the crotch, his lips moved over to a thigh instead, and he tossed the underwear that Todd had just stepped out of into a corner. "Better?"

"Almost. I think you missed a spot."

"Oh, this?" Pepito smiled, giving his head a questioning tilt toward Todd's prominent erection as his voice became a little more serious. "Do you really want me to?"

Todd pouted as he ran his hand slowly through Pepito's long, dark hair. "I thought I'd made that pretty clear. Heh. My shower etiquette must need work."

"No. It's working." One hand took a hold of Todd's hip, while the other wrapped its fingers around his member, delicately at first and then more firmly as Pepito pressed an experimental kiss to the tip. When there was no protest, he took it in further, running his tongue around the extra sensitive area just below the glands.

A shocked, pleasured moan coursed through Todd's body, and Pepito had to tighten his grip on his hip to keep him in place against the wall as his head bobbed up and down, his tongue running along the length and again around the tip for variety. He felt his own erection throb with need when the moans turned into his name and the hand fisted in his hair, but he was perfectly content to ignore it for the time being. This was far too amazing to risk ruining with the revelation that the vocalized feelings were more than a little mutual.

He was literally pulled from his thoughts when Todd pushed him back a little before jerking him up by the shoulders and hugging him tightly. He returned the hug with mindless passion until his brain finally caught up with what was happening. "Amigo? Are you okay?"

Todd nodded with the sides of their heads pressed together, then turned to give him a series of kisses, starting with his lips, then his cheek. He finally reached his neck by the time he had reversed their situations once again, with Pepito against the wall.

The kissing became more vigorous on both their parts when Pepito held both of their members together with one hand so that every little movement brushed them together and caused a surge of pleasure. He squeezed them tighter, closer, then started stroking them both up and down as best he could. The kisses became segmented by short bouts of deep breathing as they grew closer to orgasm, but just as he felt himself nearing the edge, Todd pulled back. He leaned down to lift Pepito's left leg so that he could press his erection between his thighs as he delved back into his mouth with his tongue.

Pepito felt both shock and heat ripple through his abdomen and then up into his chest as he returned the kisses haphazardly. One of his hands searched for purchase along the tile wall of the shower as the other one held onto Todd's shoulder without protest. He reflected vaguely that a position like this might be difficult to maintain if he didn't have demonic powers to help support it. "I didn't know you like it on top."

Todd laughed near his ear, then nudged the side of his face with his nose. "What, can't take it?"

"Oh, I can take it. I do generally prefer to give, but you're the guest. Just allow me to call some lube from the drawer over there."

"You're sweet."

"Only because I'm in love."

Todd pulled back a little to give him a strange look. "I suppose that would explain quite a few things."

"Uh, yeah. Sorry if that was out of place. I just thought this might be an appropriate time for a confession. It doesn't mean you have to say it back."

He looked down for a moment, biting his lip.

"Do you still want to do this?" Pepito's hand tightened on Todd's shoulder and he held up the aforementioned lube that had just made its way over the top of the glass door with the other one.

When Todd gave him a reassuring smile and then leaned in for another kiss, he squirted some of the semi-liquid into his hand, then lowered it to coat Todd's shaft as he worked it up and down between them. As he did so, he also used his powers to lube his own entrance that he otherwise would not have been able to reach in that position, then sent the lube to rest on the wire shelf that hung from the shower wall with the soap and shampoo.

Todd spread his legs wider, taking advantage of the fact that Pepito's feet didn't actually need to touch the floor because of his levitation powers. "Are you ready?"

Pepito nodded and braced himself between Todd and the wall as he guided the other member between his legs, its tip pressing lightly against his hole. "You?"

Leaning forward again to press a sweet accenting kiss to his lips, Todd let his free hand slide up Pepito's face and into his hair. The kiss deepened as he pressed himself against Pepito's tight ring of muscles. He pulled back, then pushed forward in a gentle rhythm that elicited moans and whimpers from them both as his mouth moved away from Pepito and to the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

Suddenly, the gentle sucking from Todd's mouth turned into a fast and hard biting that broke through Pepito's skin with little effort. He moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain, then gasped when Todd's member thrust up into him almost brutally, filling him completely with one swift movement. His own nails were digging into the peach skin of Todd's shoulder and his breathing was ragged, but he didn't purposefully voice any complaints as a pounding rhythm was set.

Every thrust sent red hot tearing pain through his rectum because the first one had come so fast, stretched him too quickly, but there was pleasure too, and he had been pretty thoroughly lubricated thanks to his abilities. Under the circumstances, it probably felt a lot worse than it was, and maybe after everything that Todd had been through, this was what he needed to get the hang-ups out of his system. Maybe it was a minor payback for the rape that had occurred in Pepito's prison system, the rape that wouldn't have happened had Pepito's rules not trapped him there.

He gasped again when Todd's grip on his hair was used to pin his head to the wall and the member inside him seemed to pulse and grow in length and width with every movement. Shock flooded his brain, breaking the damn of illusion as the length also began to feel harder and almost scaly. "F-father?"

Todd stopped sucking on the wound on his shoulder to look into his eyes, his own becoming an unnatural bright green, with a cunning smirk and a small, derisive laugh. The thrusting slowed down to a near halt. "Well, well. It took you long enough, didn't it?" When there was no answer, he continued, "I've been hearing some very disturbing things about you lately, son, so I decided to pay you a visit, see if they're true. And yes, I can already see that they are."

"What ... what sort of things?" Pepito shifted awkwardly against the wall, letting his powers keep him up against it entirely now instead of letting 'Todd' pick up some of the slack.

"Why _these_ sorts of things, of course."

Pepito groaned involuntarily at the hard thrust that came with the emphasized word. "You never cared about that before."

"Yes, but your job has never been so vital as now. The Christ will be incarnated immanently, and you're too busy playing house to properly cover all the bases. And I hear tell that you waited forty-eight hours before giving the orders for the detainment of the guard who released those prisoners at the New York facility."

"Took that long to find out for sure who was involved."

"And by that time he was dead."

"So? You can question him in Hell."

"Oh, I have. He was murdered."

"By whom?"

"By whomever let those prisoners go. He didn't see them. And the Elite Guards don't have orders to capture the prisoners for some reason."

"The woman is pregnant. I don't think they'll be a further threat."

"You don't _think_ , boy, that's just it." Satan looked down between them at Pepito's still half-erect cock . "Not with your brain in any case. You're letting him make you weak, and it's going to be your downfall."

"Todd?" Pepito winced when his member was given an almost painful tug. "But he's-"

"He's getting in the way, and both of you know it."

"But, Father, I-"

"Fix it, Pepito," his grip tightened threateningly on the growing length that he was still holding, "or I will do it for you."

"I don't know how! His problems are ... complicated."

"Perhaps. Yours are relatively simple, however. You're his Master, not the other way around, and you need to start acting like it. Make sure he knows that your affections and generosity must be repaid with loyalty, and that any disrespect will result in punishment, and he will fall into line."

"Was that your strategy with Mother?" Pepito let the frustration, both with the divorce and with his current situation, seep out in his voice, trying his best to ignore the sensations that the hand that was now squeezing and stroking him was inducing.

"No. Letting her think she was in control for so long was my mistake with your mother. The word mistake there is significant, but mind you, Iwas always in control in important matters. The difference with you and Todd is that you are not, and you can not afford that kind of weakness right now. I don't care what you do with him, or even if you love him, but you must member that you, and now through you, Todd, belong to me. Your first allegiance is to me, Pepito. Do you understand?"

"Of course, Father."

"Good." Closing the distance between them, Satan crashed their lips together in a hard, fiery kiss as his hand movements on Pepito's length picked up speed.

Pepito held back at first, feeling suborn and proud because of both the reprimand and the illusion that his father had used to initiate the encounter, but after a good five minutes of one-sided prodding, he finally began to kiss back. When he did, Satan pulled back just enough to whisper against his lips. "I can keep up this guise, if you'd like. You can pretend I'm Todd."

Pepito stared at him, letting the silence drag out for a few seconds, though he wasn't really considering it. His father's smirk and teasing, condescending tone made him want to lash out, but he didn't want his response to be full of anger. That would only betray more weakness, and, of course, disrespect would get him no where. He knew that he had to submit to this. He always did, of course, but now Satan's attention was on Todd and not just himself. "No, thanks."

"Too emotionally painful?" Satan raised a brow.

With a shrug, Pepito slipped an arm back around his neck, spreading his legs for a moment to adjust them securely around his waist. "It's just not true. Besides, you want to merge with your spirit, correct? I'm pretty sure Todd can't do that."

"True." His Todd-guise melded into a form that Pepito knew he was more fond of, though it was still held tightly together to keep up the effect of near-material presence. The skin tightened on his face until it was almost skull-like as twin horns spiraled from both sides and his height rose by roughly two feet, pushing Pepito higher up the wall of the shower as it did so.

A minor shift of consciousness and Pepito's mental safe-guards on his own demonic form were dropped as well to let them come to the surface and co-exist with his human one. As black spiritual tendrils came from his father to wrap around his limbs, he sent out his own, which were of a green hue like his skin, to mingle with them and connect them together even more. The tendrils burned his spiritual skin and seemed to suck with a desperate, demanding force as they tugged against his own. Finally, some of them dipped through his aura and beneath his skin, deep into his soul to connect with the core energy there.

For a moment that could have been an eternity, there was nothing but darkness and fire and unyielding conviction in his purpose, in their purpose, and then it was over. Pepito found himself once again alone and dazed in the shower, except this time he was on its tile floor, leaning against a corner, but there were no doubts about what had just occurred.

He breathed deep and slow to calm himself down, then stood to wash his body again even though there would be no physical leftovers from his father, only his own semen on his front. It still felt slightly dirty. He laughed to himself at that thought. It wasn't as if this had been the first time, but it had been a particularly dirty trick, even if his father did have a point about his concerns for Todd taking precedence over other important matters.

Even so, he wasn't going to follow his father's advice on keeping Todd in line if it wasn't absolutely necessary. He had little doubt that it would work, given enough time and effort, but the cost was too steep as he really didn't want to break Todd like he was some crazed, wild animal. He was already broken enough.

After drying off and changing into a semi-formal outfit, he headed into living room to find Todd lying on the couch. One corner of his lip turned upward. He looked like he had thrown himself backward lengthwise as his head was on the middle cushion and his knees were on the arm closest to the hall with his socked feet dangling about a foot or so from the floor.

Pepito walked softly closer to remove Todd's left forearm from where it rested over his eyes, which were closed in sleep, making thick dark lashes stand out against his skin. He took a few extra seconds to read his energy, just to reassure himself, at the same time wishing that he hadn't let his guard down like that in the shower, before waking him. "Todd? Hey, Todd."

"Uuhm," Todd mumbled, more annoyed with his hand for waving itself around in his face than he normally would have been had he gotten adequate sleep the night before. He tried to jerk it back to cover his eyes again before realizing, when it got stuck, that Pepito was finally out of the shower and opening his eyes.

"You fell asleep."

"Yeah." Letting Pepito retain his hold on his arm, Todd used his free one to push himself into a sitting position. He looked to the clock on the mantle. "You were in there for a really long time."

Pepito pulled Todd's arm until he was standing, then released him with a shrug. "I lost track of time, I guess."

With a roll of his eyes, Todd turned to go into the kitchen. "Well, the food's gonna be cold now. And if I had left it in the oven where you had it it would be completely dried out." He gestured to the set table.

"What do you want me to say, Todd? I'm sorry I took a long shower. Damn. You don't have to be an angry house-wife about it. It's not even like you're the one who cooked." Pepito took a seat with a shake of his head.

"What? I'm not acting like a house-wife, alright?" He huffed. "Do you want juice or coffee?"

"Coffee." Pepito smiled as Todd filled him a cup and added sugar and milk even though he hated coffee himself, but managed to stop himself from further picking at the oh-so-obvious mental scab that seemed to have developed over the time that they had been living together and occasionally pretending to be a couple. "Thanks."

Todd handed the coffee over, then sat down to his omelet with a glass of orange juice for himself. "You're welcome." He ate the cold mixture in silence for a few moments, waiting on Pepito to say something, but it didn't seem as though it was going to happen any time soon. "Don't you think we should talk about it?"

"About what?"

Todd's grip tightened on his fork. "About that little 'massage' earlier?"

"Oh." Pepito frowned. He had almost let himself believe that he was going to escape the backlash from that encounter. "Right now?"

"Yes, unless you've got something better to do."

"Todd, this is just really," Pepito paused to lean his forehead on one fist, "really not a good time for me."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Todd smiled sarcastically. "I didn't realize that this was so difficult for you. I suppose when you're ready you can tell me all about it."

He sighed. "Alright, let's talk. How was the last hour for you? Did you take my advice about your chakra? "

"My chakra is none of your business." Todd sat down his fork so he could point at his throat. "And as a result of the last hour, I've got a hickey. And my neck's not the only place."

"Oh. Sorry? I'm sure Tess will let you borrow some make-up to cover it if you must."

"That's not the point. I don't want a fake apology. I want an explanation, and don't think that I'm going to believe that you needed to suck the blood out of my skin to help with the check-up thing either. I'm not an idiot."

"When have I ever called you an idiot?"

"You've never called me one, but you imply it pretty often, don't you think?"

"I think you _assume_ I'm implying it fairly often."

"Pepito, we're not getting sidetracked on this. Just answer the question, please."

"Very well, since you said 'please'. You want the reason, correct?"

Todd nodded.

"Well, you don't have to look so traumatized. I wasn't trying to get laid, at least not immediately. I just thought that you needed to admit to yourself that it's what you want."

"Oh, that's so much better. And just what makes you think you know what I want anyway? It doesn't really count when someone kisses you back if you're manipulating their emotions with your powers, you know."

Pepito tapped his own forehead. "I can read your thoughts and emotions, remember? I could feel everything that went through your mind last night, during that kiss, even the parts that you weren't consciously aware of. This morning, all I did was take away the fears, worries and guilt. I didn't add anything." He paused, waiting for a response, but Todd only continued to stare at him with a lost look in his eyes. "You asked me to tell Minnie and Roman the truth, right? But isn't it important to at least know what the truth is yourself first? And if you want to be with me, then maybe there's no point in telling them that we were kidding." He heard Todd mumble something softly to himself. "What? Come on, Amigo, I-"

"I said, it's not fair," Todd cut him off, trying to keep the unshed tears out of his voice, "It's not fair that I can never even know if I'm getting a straight answer out of you, but you can play with me in any way you can think of. And then you still say that I'm not a toy or a pet." His voice got rougher toward the end, and he pushed his plate and then his chair away before walking swiftly to his room.

"Todd. Wait a minute, please." Pepito was quick to follow, not that Todd was really capable of locking him out or anything. Todd stood in his bed room, looking out the window with his back to Pepito, who stopped a few feet behind him. He was really in no mood for a long, dramatic confrontation, but it was better than explaining why he wasn't or letting Todd think he just didn't give a fuck. "I wasn't playing with you; I was trying to help. The feelings are there whether you acknowledge them or not."

"Yeah, but maybe I'd rather not."

"That doesn't sound very healthy, Amigo."

"Maybe not, but what am I supposed to do about it?" Todd swirled around to face him. "You know what? Fine, I admit it. There's a part of me that does want you that way, but there's a bigger part that doesn't, and you can't just edit that out and pretend. _That's_ what's not fair. All of those worries and doubts, which are legitimate from where I'm standing, by the way, those are a part of me and my feelings. But you just see them as little annoyances that get in the way of what you want ... whatever the hell that is."

"They're not ... I know you need to work through all that stuff and that some of it is even my fault ... personally my fault. That's what I meant earlier when I said you weren't ready, and I never intended to go any further than we did with you in that state. I told you last night that I don't want that from you if you don't want to give it, and I meant it."

"So your answer is to convince me that I do want it? It's not enough that you already own my soul and you practically own my body, but now you have to have my heart too. And for what? To save you the trouble and headache of telling Minnie and Roman that you've been lying to them?"

"No. I don't have to have your heart; I just want you to be true to it. All those jokes that we tell, all those little touches, there's something under them. Maybe they're always has been. The thing with Minnie and Roman was just a catalyst. I'll still tell them if you want."

"I do."

"Alright. Do you want to come with me to do it now?"

"Not now. Later. Maybe tonight. It might be more convincing when the hickey isn't bright red."

"Okay." Letting out a short chuckle at the last remark, which soon died when Todd's expression changed, Pepito took a few cautious steps closer. "What's wrong?"

"You've got one too." He received a confused look. "A hickey."

"Oh, shit. Really?"

Todd stepped closer to carefully turn Pepito's collar down so he could inspect the mark better, discovering that it looked more like a deep bite mark than a hickey. "I didn't do that, and it wasn't there before. You were with someone in the shower, but no one came or left." He swallowed. "A demon?"

Pepito nodded slowly, a little on edge now because Todd was acting very strange. His words were slow and careful, like some character in a horror movie that was slowly unraveling the frightening truth of a twisted plot. When he pulled his hand away from his shirt and started backing up, Pepito caught him by the arm, holding him firmly in place. "Todd, look at me. I am a demon, remember? Well, half demon anyway."

"I know. So you ... summon them sometimes, when I'm not around, for, uh ..."

"Sex? Sometimes. Sometimes they come on their on, for various reasons. You know, several members of my staff are incarnated demons. It's not any stranger to me than being with a human ... unless you think that the mixing is wrong and that all half breeds should just be with other half breeds to minimize the wrongness or something."

Todd forced a small laugh and shook his head. "You should be with whomever you want to be with, Pep, as long as they want to be with you too, of course. Does Marla know?"

"Marla doesn't mind. But it bothers you, doesn't it? The demon thing? That's why you don't want to be with me, even when the sinful aspect is irrelevant now."

Todd sighed and looked down. "I guess it is, partly. I mean, it is kind of scary."

"Heh. Squee. I suppose I should have expected that. You've always been afraid of me, even though on the night of your initiation, you said you weren't."

"Well, I wasn't then, at that moment." He looked back up. "It's not like I live in perpetual fear of you. Anyway, it's not you specifically, it's demonic sex in general. It just seems like something I wouldn't like." There was a pause during which Pepito gave him a questioning look that promised to make the situation even more awkward. "Alright, so yeah, I like pain sometimes, in very _moderate_ amounts, but that's ... it's just too much."

Pepito's brow only furrowed more. "Demonic sex doesn't have to be painful."

"Really? That looks pretty painful. It's like you got mauled and you didn't even remember it was there until I noticed. Doesn't that hurt?"

"It stings a little." He tried a smile when Todd gave him an incredulous look. "Alright, it flat out hurts now that you've brought my attention to it, but it's not like I can't heal it, and it's not like I'd do that to you."

"Why not?"

"You know why not." Pepito pulled him closer by the arm he still held, then let go to wrap him in an inescapable hug. "I've told you before, I'd never purposefully harm you, and I won't hurt you except in good ways and only if you ask me to."

Todd returned the hug, more because the positioning was awkward if he didn't than because he really wanted to, but as the time passed and they continued to stay like that he began to relax more. Leaning the left side of his head against Pepito's right, unwounded shoulder, he thought that this conversation that he had forced between them had only heightened his conflicted feelings from before. The 'nightmare' with the demons had been real, and it was odd that Pepito could enjoy that kind of thing and still want him. "Pepito?"

"Hmm?" Pepito leaned his head down, one side against Todd's so his mouth was closer to his ear. He felt more at peace now, and what he really wanted to do was go back to sleep, preferably with Todd in tow, but alas, the time for his meeting was steadily approaching.

"Earlier, in my room, you said that you loved me."

"Yes?"

"Why do you only ever say it when you're joking or you think I'm not fully aware?"

"Probably because that way it won't hurt when you don't believe me."

"Oh."

Pepito moved back a little to look into his eyes. "You don't, do you?"

"No, I believe you."

"You don't sound like you believe me. But if it will help, I'll say it now: I love you. Very much. And it's okay if you never want to be with me in a romantic way. We've always agreed that friendship is more important than those things anyway, right?"

Todd nodded, then let out a deep breath as he was finally allowed to take a step back. "Thank you. I ... I love you too, Pep, but you were right about me not being ready for anything like that. I don't want to regret it."

"Do you regret other times? I mean, you know, consensual times in the past?"

He sighed again. "No, I guess not. But I've never been in a situation like this before, and those other times were less ... complicated."

"How so?"

"Well, for starters, none of them owned my soul."

"Okay, granted."

"And none of them started out as my best friend. What it meant or didn't mean was more clear. I don't think I had as many moral disagreements with any of them, especially the kind that had immediate material effects on other people."

Pepito nodded. "And none of them wanted to have freaky demon sex."

Todd smiled a little, crossing his arms over his chest. "Right."

"That's okay. Just as long as you're not in denial anymore. I've heard it hinders psychological processes anyway." Pepito smiled too, then ruffled his hair before giving his wrist watch a quick glance. "Are we okay for now?"

"Yeah." Todd raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for taking up your time."

"Oh, it's not that. I just have a meeting in a few minutes, but it's in the building, and they will wait for me, of course."

"I guess it's good to be king."

Pepito smirked. "That it is. So, would you mind accompanying me?"

"Uh, what kind of meeting is it?"

"It's a coven meeting, but you can just bring a book and wait in the reception room if you want."

"Pepito, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because. Some of them are already mad that I'm in the coven at all. Not going to meetings and things makes it worse, but if I actually go there and wait outside it's not even like I'm busy."

"So?" Pepito laughed.

"So, they'll all talk about me and hate me even more."

"Aww. You want me to blow them up for you?"

"No." Todd chuckled despite himself as Pepito took his arm again to pull him from the room.


	24. Chapter 24

A jerky motion woke Pepito from his sleep, and he blinked a few times before his vision focused on the side of Todd's head that he could see while the rest of his face was buried in Pepito's neck. The jerking was apparently the jostling of both his body and the mattress as Todd clung to him, desperately trying to get closer even though Pepito highly doubted that was possible. They were already pressed together so tightly that he could feel Todd's heart pounding much too fast against his own. He tightened his arms around him before whispering reassurances into his ear in hopes of waking him gently from the obvious nightmare. "Shh. It's alright, Todd. You're safe. It's okay."

"Pepe? Make it stop. Please. I don't … I don't want it."

"Make what stop?"

"The demons. They-where are they?" Still clinging to Pepito, but no longer attempting to burrow closer, he looked cautiously around the room.

"Amigo, as far as I know, I'm the only demon in this room. And I promise I'm not going to hurt you."

"Oh." He frowned as he took in the slow, delicate words. "So, I … I was … I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Do you wanna tell me about it this time?"

Todd loosened his grip on Pepito's left sleeve, though his other arm was still tucked between his right arm and chest. "I think I'd rather not. Not right now."

"Are you okay?"

"I think so. I will be in a few minutes."

Pepito nodded and continued to hold him in a loose embrace, absently petting his hair and trying not to look as worried as he felt. His other hand rubbed against the thin shirt on Todd's back that was damp with a layer of sweat that probably covered his entire body. He knew that the nightmares had gotten worse lately, ever since he had made Todd promise not to harm himself. The thought made him nervous that somehow the poisonous feelings were working their way into his unconscious mind instead, but he fought off that idea as he had many others like it. "At least your check-up is today."

"Yeah." Todd nodded, then let out a deep breath as reality seemed to set in more firmly. Sometimes it took a few minutes, especially when his dreams took place in the same setting as he presently occupied. As his breathing evened out some, he focused more on the steady fall and rise of Pepito's chest beneath him, as well as the slow-moving hands. He thought that the combined ministrations might have felt more soothing had Pepito's erection not been pressing against his lower stomach.

Pepito grunted. "Sorry to ruin an otherwise pristine moment, Amigo, but if if helps, you can rest assured that it's nothing personal. Sweaty nightmare Todds aren't exactly my favorite kind."

Doing his best to ignore the warm feeling that was probably tinting his cheeks pink, Todd shifted his arm so that he could lean up with his elbow against the mattress to give Pepito a stern look. "Pepito, I said I don't want to share. Stay out of my mind. And I wasn't going to say anything about that. I am a guy, you know. I have the same equipment, know how it works and stuff."

"And yet you're not going to move, are you?"

"Not yet. You see," Todd smirked "awkward morning Pepito's are my favorite kind. It evens the stakes a little more."

"Who says I'm awkward?"

"Aren't you?"

"My dear, I don't even know the meaning of the word."

"Okay. I'm moving now." Todd rolled over onto his back. It only took him a few uncomfortable seconds before he sat back up and pulled the damp shirt over his head, then threw it toward Pepito's hamper. His pants weren't exactly dry either, but that would have to wait.

His eyes widened a little when Pepito rolled over until their chests met, then leaned over his body to reach the phone on the nightstand. It was a cordless, but Pepito still didn't retreat to his own side of the bed before dialing. "What are you doing?"

"Ordering breakfast from the kitchen. Have a preference?" His voice changed tone slightly when someone from the kitchen picked up. "Yes, this is President Diablo. I'd like breakfast by dumbwaiter, please … and by that I do mean the lift system and not an especially dim-witted server like last time."

"Oh. Uh, french toast, scrambled eggs and a fruit cup, please." Todd whispered the words quickly near his ear when Pepito paused, then relaxed as it was repeated it with Pepito's own order, nearly laughing toward the end of his words.

At some point before Todd had moved to the Bram, Pepito had restarted the old dumbwaiter system. However, most of the kitchen staff were new, having apparently replaced androids that used to work those stations. Last time not only had the food been brought up to the door, but the order had also been mixed up as well. Todd suspected that the stumbling, mumbling waiter that had accompanied it had actually not been especially dumb, but had simply been afraid of Pepito's infamous temper in light of the mistakes.

"Yes, yes. That's fine. Thank you." Pepito pressed the end button, then nudged Todd in the side with an elbow. "It's not that funny."

"Sure it is."

"It's more stupid, but I suppose if laughing helps." He smiled despite his words as he eased his head down on the side of Todd's pillow. "It should be up in about thirty minutes. And then we'll have about an hour and a half to get down to the lab."

Todd nodded as he took the phone to place it back on the hook. He tensed up a little when Pepito's left hand landed on his chest to run up and down his side absently. He raised a brow. "That's kind of gross."

With a shrug, Pepito continued to drag his fingers over the cool, moist skin. "You're kind of beautiful."

Todd rolled his eyes. "You're kind of weird."

"Lets not pretend that's new knowledge, shall we?" Pepito smiled when Todd gave a small laugh and he could feel his frame relax even though the gentle touching continued. Leaning up some, he slowly kissed his left cheek, forehead and then the right cheek, secretly delighting in the fact that Todd wasn't pulling away yet.

Todd's right hand moved up to grip Pepito's shoulder, keeping him in place a few inches away. For a long moment they stared into each others eyes, then Todd smiled again before leaning up to place a light, but lingering, kiss to his lips. "I'm going to get a shower before the food comes."

"Alright." Pepito moved back so Todd could climb out of bed, then lay flat on his back after watching him go. The bedroom door was still open, of course, and he knew that Todd would leave the bathroom open as well. It seemed to have become standard procedure over the last week. On a more pleasant note, so had the intimacy that had just transpired.

It was nothing really sexual or overtly romantic despite the obvious undertones, but that was perfectly okay. It was still good progress, and he had known from the start that if he wanted Todd, he was going to have to be patient … very, very patient. That was understandable after what had happened to him, of course, but Todd had always been slow on committing to things anyway.

In a way it was good that he was getting this chance now instead of back in college when he had practically thrown himself at Todd, though he would always regret the fallout that had come with that failure. Now he knew how to be patient, at least, how to wait them out for as long as it took, how to use just the right amounts of affection to say exactly what he wanted to, to led them where he wanted. He had only really had an inkling of that in high school: mainly in regard to religion and mainly thanks to Todd's consistent, and at times tear-filled, refusals.

Pressure made Todd panic, so he was trying his best to apply just the tiniest amount, to let him know that all of the touches and the kisses had no strings attached and that if anything ever came of it, it would be because Todd wanted it to. Surprisingly, for once it was true, mostly. That thought made Pepito feel like he was floating on a fluffy cloud far above the cluttered city that usually felt like it was chocking him with smog during such a pursuit. The city was dangerous, and fun and by now routine, but it was nice to get away, to be free of its obligations and pace for a while.

He laughed at his own thoughts as he heard the water in the shower stop, then rolled over and out of bed to throw on some clothes for breakfast. Even if it was cheesy and lame, it had worked for him in the past and it seemed to be working now, undoubtedly with better side effects than his father's advice would have yielded.

An hour and ten minutes later, after they had eaten and Pepito had showered, he heard a knock at the door as he was dressing in his room. Quickly, he pulled a loose T-shirt over his head and stepped into a pair of shoes. By the time he had made it out to the living room, Todd, who had apparently answered the door, was staring at him stiffly from within Rosemary's clutches.

"Mother?" He was shocked, but he couldn't help the smile. He had told Todd that it was only a matter of time until she was back to her old self and its cheerful disposition toward the both of them.

She released Todd to send Pepito a forced smile. "Hello, darling. I hope you don't mind my dropping in like this, but Marla told me about Todd's appointment, and I just … I wanted to be here for him."

"That's very nice of you, Mother, but how did you get transport approval without my knowledge?"

"Oh, I have my ways."

"I'm sure." Pepito raised a brow, but decided not to press the matter at the moment. It was best to pick his battles, and more important to get passed the whole taking Todd's soul issue first. And it wasn't as if he would have withheld his consent for her to be there. "Would you like a drink or something?"

"Coffee?"

"Sure. I'll just go make you some."

Rosemary nodded, then continued to hold another smile until her son had left the room, at which point she took Todd by the arm to pull him closer to the closed door to the apartment. She spoke barely above a whisper, "How are you, Todd?"

"I'm okay." He gave her a fake half-smile although he was sure that his eyes were more questioning than reassuring in light of her demeanor.

"No really. How are you? How do you feel inside?"

"Umm … not as bad as a few weeks ago, I guess."

"You don't feel afraid?" She continued when she got only a look of mild surprise. "Of Hell? Of loosing God's love and suffering demonic torture for the rest of eternity?"

"Oh, that." He gave her a small, sarcastic smile. "I hadn't really thought about it."

"Don't use that tone with me." She smiled a little too, but then went back to a serious tone. "Listen, I know the kinds of things that Pepito's been telling you about Hell and the Final Battle, but you have to understand that he doesn't really know. He has to believe what he does to play his part, but in the end … well, it's not going to be pretty for those who follow him."

Todd sighed. "Miss Reilly, it's not that I necessarily agree with him, about a lot of things actually, but that was never the issue. And it's too late now anyway. I really do appreciate you coming out here, though, and I hope that … that you'll try your best not to hate me because I was only doing what I thought was right." His words got faster toward the end, and he looked down for a moment. "No, best, not right. I think maybe sometimes there is no 'right'."

Rosemary nodded sadly, reaching out a hand to pat his arm. "I know, honey. Edgar told me all about it … once I had finally calmed down enough to hear it. I'm sorry that I was so cold to you, but I was just so mad at you for being so stupid, and at Pepe for … God, for so much. He's my little boy and I think I'll love him until the day I die, but sometimes I don't like him too awful much."

"I'm sorry, if I made it worse."

"No, Todd. That part's not your fault, and if I'm honest with myself, your problems right now are partly mine. I shouldn't have told him to be your friend. You two were so close back in school, and I always thought it seemed to help you both more than it hurt, but I should have realized that you were too vulnerable after … after what happened."

"You told him to be my friend?"

"Well, you know how he is. He wanted to be there for you, even against all that he claims to believe; he just needed a little push to do the right thing. And then, of course, that turned into the wrong thing." She shook her head. "It's hard, I know, to accept that it's just his nature. I'm been trying to, over the last few months."

Todd took her hand. "I'm sorry, even if it's not my fault. That's … a really terrible thing to think."

"It is. But it's still true."

"He's not all bad. I think, I know, he does really care about me … and about you. He seems to care about a lot of the coven members too …."

"Honey, it's not just that he doesn't care, though his caring is definitely selective. I don't think for a minute that he meant to hurt you, but he can't see what he's really doing, even now that's it's too late. He wants to give you pills or some other quick fix so you'll be what he wants, what he's always wanted you to be, but he's not willing to consider the real, underlying problem."

"No, I think he's considered it. But there's nothing he could do about it now anyway, right?" He frowned when there was no answer. "Right? Miss Reilly?"

"Sure, Todd. I'm sure you're right."

Todd bit his lip as Pepito entered the room with a mug of coffee. Rosemary was definitely still angry at him. There was no other reason why she would be telling him all this so late in the game except to make him feel worse than he already did. Still, at least she was here. Maybe confrontation was the first step of forgiveness.

Handing the cup to his mother, Pepito wrapped an arm around Todd's shoulders, which were now much too tense. He fought back the nasty remark that she rightly deserved, and forced a smile instead. Whatever the hell she had said to him was probably going to throw off the aural readings, but starting a fight would only make it worse. "Well, I suppose we should head down. Marla gets kind of cranky when I'm late."

Rosemary took a long sip of coffee before turning to led the way with the mug still in hand. "Good for her. Somebody's got to take you down a notch every now and then."

Once they were in the hall, Pepito closed and locked his door with his powers as they followed her into the elevator. "I though that was your job."

"Only when you're on my side of the country, which we both know isn't often." She sent him another smile before drinking again.

The door to Marla's basement office was already open when they arrived, and after a quick knock on Pepito's part, she too found herself in a hug from Rosemary, though Todd thought it looked less painfully crushing. Afterward, he was led to another office that had been set up with new equipment that somewhat resembled an X-ray machine. Doctor Abraham Sapirstein, another elderly coven member, turned around from the controls to give them a smile and a wave. According to Minnie and Roman, he had delivered Pepito at his birth thirty-one years ago. He had been into pediatrics then. Rarely, he still practiced for pregnant coven members, although in the time since, he had shifted his studies into more paranormal areas like the medical application of aural readings.

"Good morning, everyone. Ah, Rosemary, I can't tell you how nice it is to see you here again, dear. But do step back. I'm afraid I'll need you all to leave the room for just a moment, crapped space, you know. Todd, you stay, of course. Just stand right there behind that panel, and remove your shirt and pants." He handed over a thin dressing gown once Todd and the others had done as he said. "Now, I'll just need you to stand very still while I take some scans. Don't move until I say."

"Okay." A rolling light passed through the electronic panel in front of him several times, making colors swirl and become more dense in respect to where his body was. He smiled at the thought that it looked kind of like a technicolor shadow captured through old-school photography done with chemicals and light. It was pretty, but he didn't have the first clue was to what it meant, good or ill. The process was repeated several times, each time producing a slight tingling feeling from the electrons that the machine used to sense his own, and then the panel went back to its usual near translucent white.

"Good. Good. You can move now."

"Thanks. Is it ..."

"Can't say yet. It still needs analysis. Wouldn't want to be premature, now would we?"

"Uh, no, sir." Todd frowned as he stepped back into his pants, still behind the tall screen.

"Why don't you go wait in Marla's office with the others, and I'll bring in the prints in a few moments."

"Oh. Alight." Moving from the screen, Todd pulled his shirt on slowly as he lingered, hoping to catch some kind of clue from Sapirstein's expression or the read-outs that he was organizing via the touch-screen of a the computer opposite the scanning device. Sapirstein seemed to sense his gaze, because he turned around to match Todd's stare with a stubborn one of his own.

"Hurry along now. I can't do my best work with people looking over my shoulder. Don't forget your shoes."

"Sorry." Quickly grabbing said shoes from the floor beside the chair that his clothes had waited in during the scan, Todd headed for the exit, vaguely unnerved that Sapirstein's eyes followed him all the way until he was outside and the door was closed. After walking the short distance to Marla's examination room, then through the door that was still open, he froze for a few seconds, shocked to see Pepito's father among the others.

"Hello there, Todd." Satan, in the guise of Juan Diablo, nodded at him from where he stood near the back of the room.

Todd shifted uneasily on his socked feet, glancing from Rosemary, who sat on a single chair against the left wall near the door to Marla's actual office, to Pepito, who was leaning against the exam table looking none-too-pleased. "Uh, hi … Mr. Diablo." He fought off a cringe as he moved further into the room. It was more awkward than anything really. It had been years since Todd had spoken with him, and now that he had sold his soul, he really didn't know how to go about it. Luckily, no one seemed to mind that he had fallen back on his school-years default, and he took a seat on the exam table, even though the atmosphere felt charged with tension between the others.

After about fifteen minutes or so of small talk, Marla came back in to take his vitals, which she proclaimed to be in the normal range. Then Dr. Sapirstein came in with a small stack of aural photos that he tacked up on the board opposite the table that Todd was sitting on. Each showed the outline of the top of Todd's head and several inches around it: his crown chakra.

"Ahem," Sapirstein cleared his throat, "I've completed my analysis of the scan. Are we all going to hear it in then?" He nodded when no one moved to leave the exam room. "Right. Well, the prognosis isn't so great, I'm afraid. As you can see here, Todd, this scan," he pointed to the scan furthest to the left, "is from when you were at the work camp. Even though you were emotionally unwell then, you'll notice that your crown chakra is in comparatively good shape. It has a nice clear spiral flow with vibrant indigo and even some bright gold.

"Now, the new scan is much more dull, with some muddy dark colors lingering and the clockwise movement of the energy current is largely arrested. You can also see that there appears to be some minor denting and cracking."

Todd felt the thin mattress on the exam table dip as Pepito sat beside him and took one of his hands, and he glanced at his stoic face quickly before looking back to Sapirstein. "Uh, so I take it that's bad. What … what does it mean though?"

"Well, at the time of the first scan, you needed therapy and a good spiritual cleansing. I can't say for sure if your aura improved between then and your initiation, but it definitely seems to have gotten worse since the later event. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that the initiation directly contributed to your crown chakra closing up.

"The crown chakra is a human's connection to empathy and unity of Spirit of all things. Having it closed off can produce serious spiritual problems. Emotional problems tend to include manic-depressive tendencies, frustration, extreme feelings of isolation and loneliness as well as thought processes that justify and maintain those harmful emotions."

"That sounds about right. So what can we do about it?" Pepito spoke up.

Sapirstein looked to Satan. "I would think that would be quite obvious, with all things considered."

Pepito sighed. "Abe, just spite it out already."

"The initiation is the problem, son." Satan moved to the side of Sapirstein to stare Pepito down. "Todd's problems started with his promise to you and his rejection of the Holy Spirit, and they will continue, probably getting worse over time, as long as he keeps it."

"But that's ridiculous, Father. It's not as if every initiate has a fucking blocked crown. There has to be something."

"Pepito, if you want the straight truth, I'll give it to you. This is directly your fault because, once again, you broke the rules. I've told you repeatedly since you were old enough to know who you are: you can't force them. You can't coerce people into initiation and expect them to truly understand what they're agreeing to, much less truly believe in our purpose. His crown chakra is blocked because he didn't understand, because you didn't take him through the proper channels and because in giving himself to us, he cut out that part of himself that he perceived as being a part of the Holy Spirit."

"I didn't force-"

"Yes, you did. You didn't simply offer him something he prized. You trapped him in a situation that was equivalent to coercion. That would barely pass as a standard soul collection. And you know that initiation is something that Satanists have to work for; I don't want coven members who don't pursue that course or that sell themselves for wishes. You know all of this, Pepito. And frankly, I'm tried of lecturing you about it when it comes to this boy."

Pepito narrowed his eyes. "I haven't even talked to you about Todd in over ten years."

"Yes, but you've sulked about it silently often enough, and now it's more than apparent that you never seem to learn when it comes to him."

"Father, just … could you please just tell me what I can do at this point. Because I can't just go back in time and not initiate him, and this isn't helping."

"There is nothing you can do. I, however, am obligated to intervene."

"What-"

"Silence, Pepito. Whatever you have to say will wait. Do you understand?"

When there was no answer, Rosemary leaned forward from her chair to meet Pepito's eyes. "Sweetie, I think you better say 'yes'."

"Yes, Father."

"Good. Now, Todd, you were never a willing initiate, and because of that I can't allow you to maintain your current status as it is. If you wish to be a coven member, you will have to do so because it is your will and not because of some sort of contrived alleviation of your conscious. The android issue is no longer dependent upon your religious affiliation and no longer your personal concern. This is your final offer, and I expect you to make the decision that lies within your heart of hearts. This time, whatever you choose will be your true will, and you must carry it out with full dedication. If you wish to be an Initiate, you'll be expected at ritual and coven meetings. You won't be asked to violate your contract personally, but you will act in the best interests of Hell at all times.

"You have three available options here. You may request that I void your contract, in which case you would once again be a free soul. Your legal status would revert to that of a prisoner of the state. If you make this choice, I will not demand that you return to the labor camp, but I'm afraid that I must insist that you go back to California with Rosemary until the war is over." He nodded to Rosemary before continuing. "You may also resign from the Coven, but maintain the common mark of the masses and citizenship in the New American Union. I would still ask that you move out of the Bramford, but you would have the freedom to choose where you live and work. However, with this option, I can't guarantee that your chakra problem would clear up. Do you understand all of this?"

"Can I … have a some time to think about it? Just a few minutes?"

"Very well. You have half an hour. Everyone, out of the room."

Pepito stood up stiffly to go with the others, but Todd only held his hand tighter. "Wait!" he called to Mr. Diablo's retreated back. " Actually, could Pepito stay?"

"Reluctantly, he may." He looked intently at his son, whose face was flushed with anger. "If you pressure him or he makes another mistake and this situation recurs, I will see you both in Hell for a very unpleasant punishment."

Pepito jerked his hand free of Todd to take several steps closer to his father. "I want to talk to you."

"I'm sure you do." Satan smirked. "Later."

"Now."

"You're not going to change my mind about this, Pepito. You couldn't if I wanted you to. These are the rules."

"Whose rules? Yours? _His_?"

"The rules of the human soul, son." He lowered his voice some as he continued. "Now, I'm going to give you your thirty minutes, and if you don't mind those rules for once, then you will be sorry. I will arrange for you both to experience your greatest fears in the torturous sections of Hell. You may think you can handle that, but can you handle watching Todd suffer his? If you really care about him, you'll take that into consideration along with his current state."

"Yes, Father." Pepito grit out the words this time as his father closed the door behind him, leaving him alone with Todd, who sighed as Pepito sat back down on the seat next to him.

"We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we?"

"I guess we are. I'm sorry, Todd. I shouldn't have put you in this situation to begin with."

"No, you really shouldn't have. Are you going to be angry if I ask him to void it?"

He was quiet for a solid minute and probably would have been for longer had he not been so aware that he was eating into the little time that they had been allotted. "No. Not at you anyway. You should do whatever you have to do to feel better. If this is really the problem, then you should do it."

"I'll have to leave." He almost whispered the words. As much as he wanted to be free of the contract, he the word 'free' was a little scary at this point, as well as the thought of learning to be on his own again in a real way.

"Amigo, do you want me to say something to make you stay? Because I do have a few good arguments on the tip of my tongue."

Todd looked down. "I don't know. That Hell thing doesn't sound too good. I don't want to leave and I don't … I don't want us to not be friends again, but I can't really deal with the idea of living this way for … well, forever, I guess."

"I know." He smiled when Todd slowly looked back up at him. "This was just a birthday visit to begin with anyway, right?"

"...yeah. Will you still come and see me sometimes?"

"Sure. I don't know how many visits I'll be able to work in before the final battle breaks out.... Father thinks the time is very close now, and I'll probably be very busy preparing for it."

"Oh."

"Todd," he paused to reach out to take his hand back into his own, "this was probably going to happen anyway. Even if you stay in the coven, father will find a reason for you to leave. He's been concerned for a while that we're a bad influence on each other, and it's hurting the agenda. And … I think he might be right about that to some degree."

"Oh." Todd took his hand back, fighting back an urge to cry that made his face slightly pink with embarrassment. He had always thought that he wanted Pepito to not to want his soul, but this just seemed so cold and uncaring. So easy. "Then I guess this is good bye." He hopped off the table to head out to the others, but Pepito grabbed him, arms latching around his upper chest as he walked by the end of the table.

"It's not like that. It's just … if it's hurting you and it's bad for the movement, then maybe-"

"Yeah. I get it, Pepe."

But he didn't. Pepito was sure of that, but he let him go all the same. He let him go out the door and with his mother to the airport and then back to California. He let his father burn the contract they had both signed with Hell fire, even though it was almost like a spiritual amputation to match the emotional one that was Todd leaving.

He closed his fist tight and tried his best to ignore the burning of his mark, the same feeling that Todd was likely experiencing on the other side of the country that night as well. His father's green eyes bore into his own as the last of the ashes were closed up in an small urn that would probably be buried or emptied at sea later. "Promise me that you won't hurt him."

Satan smiled. "He is free of my control."

"All the same. If I keep my promise, I want him to be safe. When the end comes, you know he won't go to Heaven now. And we both know that you didn't void his contract to be kind. It was a nice trick getting Mother involved, though."

Satan nodded. "As part of the California household, he will have access to the bunkers and other safety measures if need be. If Heaven doesn't claim him, you may have him back, but only after you have done your job." He leaned down and closer to Pepito's face. "Until then I don't want you becoming distracted again. You are not to see him without my approval."

"Of course."

"I mean it, Pepito."

Pepito kept a straight face, his lips a solemn line, as his father clutched his shirt collar to pull him even closer. "So do I, Padre. Do you think I want to lose the war?" After a few seconds, he was let go and pushed back slightly for dramatic emphasis as Satan turned to exit the ritual chamber.

"Sometimes I think you don't know what you want. You're too much like your mother; too human."

"I've always known what I want."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

He smiled. "The world, of course."

Satan chuckled to himself as he left the room, closing the door behind him. "Of course, only the world."

When the door was closed, Pepito looked down at the ashes that were apparently his now. He smile darkened as his voice went lower. "Only the world … and Todd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The last words of the chapter are kind of a shout out to the summary on FFNet that Desdemonakakalose wrote for this story.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Dubious consent, violent android sex/rape (all android sex is arguably rape in this story), mentions of incest, mentions of sexual kinks and actions

After pushing on the heal of his remaining shoe with a socked foot to discard it onto the floor under his desk with its mate, Pepito stretched as well as he could in the confines of the chair of his home office with a groan. He had just gotten home from a very long, busy day at the end of what had been a very long, busy week, and now, finally, all he had to do was check his email and go to bed before the weekend was his … or mostly his, as much his as it ever was. He skimmed through the messages quickly since he'd checked them only a few hours ago and his filter system diverted everything nonessential into folders that went to his aides. He let out a sigh when he was forced to take out his planner and fill in the few free slots he had for next week with an overseas trip to encourage a small military takeover, one of the few his order had left, and meetings with dignitaries that would come to him in New York.

As he shut his computer down, he reminded himself that it would all be over soon: the endless posturing, the wars, the stress. He just had to push through to the end, and then he would have enough control that he could appoint others to deal with the constant hassle. Who knew, maybe he could even trust them to do it right. Once the distention was eliminated from the bloated belly of the world that wouldn't be so very difficult.

Feeling a familiar tug on his soul, he picked up the cell phone on his desk just before it rang. "Hi, Todd," he attempted an even, soothing voice, as he now knew this continuing situation required. For the last three weeks, it had been like this: the pangs from the voiding of the contract hadn't completely dissipated yet for Pepito either, but for Todd they seemed to be much worse. His mother had called him the day after their return to California, nearly in hysterics because Todd was apparently experiencing symptoms similar to that of a crashing drug addict with no discernible medical cause. Of course, as much as he had wanted to, he couldn't break his promise to his father and go out there already. That would only make both of their situations worse.

"Hey, Pepe. Are you … are you busy?"

"No. I'm all yours. Just a second." Pepito attached his Bluetooth set to his right ear and switched over as he stood up and pushed his chair in, then headed to his bedroom. He flipped off the light and disrobed, leaving just his underwear as he climbed onto his bed and placed the cell on the nightstand. It didn't really matter what he was wearing as he could always project something else in his mind. "How've you been?"

"Getting better, I think. Still." He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again there was a hint of shame. "It's been five days this time."

"I've noticed. That's good. I mean, I enjoy ... speaking with you, but I'm glad you're becoming less ..."

"Dependent? Me too. But I wish I could just talk to you without this … need."

"I know, Todd, but it shouldn't be too much longer. Marla told me your aura was recovering pretty well the last time I spoke with her." She had seemed eager to return with Todd to California when he had left, and Pepito had let her. It wasn't really that surprising at this point anyway, and she was, after all, hired specifically to be Todd's doctor. "Can you still see the mark?"

"Barely."

"That's … that's good."

"Do you really think so?"

"I have to. It's what's best for you." He laughed a little bitterly. "I wish it wasn't, but I want you to be healthy."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Pepito nodded even though Todd couldn't see it … yet. "Okay. You know the procedure. Relax: deep, even breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice." He paused to do the same. "Everything is calm. You're safe and sound, and your bedroom door is locked … right?"

"Heh. Yeah, I locked it."

"Good. Describe your bedroom for me without opening your eyes."

"Uh, there's a red oak bed in the middle of the room. The head board is against the south wall. The ceilings lights are out, but the room is still dimly lit because the blinds are open to the yard. The top blanket on the bed is wavy and green, and the room is a yellowy beige … you know that. There's still the closet on the left and a dresser on the right."

"That's good. Is Shmee there?"

"He's beside me. On my left."

"What are you wearing?"

"A hot pink, fish-net thong and nipple clamps."

"Alright. Now-wait. What?" Pepito fumbled his own sentence because of Todd's last. The tone had been so normal that he'd nearly missed the oddity of the words themselves. When he heard Todd giggle, he laughed a little himself, relieved that the slightly longer wait between bondings hadn't caused him to go off the deep end … unless. "That was a joke, right?"

"Psh. Yeah," Todd scoffed. "You know, even if I was trying to … seduce you or something … I don't think pink thongs are sexy, especially on a guy."

"But the nipple clamps are good?"

"Uh, no. I don't know," he coughed, "I, uh, didn't really mean to start this conversation."

"I know, Amigo, but it makes you so delightfully uncomfortable. And while I do admit that my question was leading, you've got to watch that tone if you don't want me to visualize you that way in the projection. Not that I would mind."

"So you think hot pink thongs are sexy?"

"No, I told you. For me it's the nipples clamps. But silver-belted, black leather thongs are hot, especially-"

"Yeah, okay, Pepe. Could you just-"

"Sure. Red and white stripped pajamas, right?" Pepito leaned back into the pillows against the headboard of his bed and closed his eyes again, trying to banish the humor so he could properly relax.

"Uh-huh."

"Mhm-kay, eyes closed?"

"Yeah."

"Good." As he went over all of the details that Todd had described, in addition to everything that he had committed to memory of the room in California, the scene became more and more real. The room seemed to build itself up around his soul, which condensed to form a replica of his material body, this one wearing a loose black suit, on the lower end of Todd's bed. His sight ran up the sea green blanket until he saw Todd foot, then up his leg and to his body, which he forced himself to see in the stripped pajamas because he shared his vision with Todd. Together they created the perceptions of his spiritual projection, where time and space were like polyester and mental images were concrete reality. As he crawled up the bed, he smiled congenially. "Hi."

"Hey." Todd smiled back, and his muscles released some built-up tension as he closed his mental eyes for a moment when Pepito lifted a hand to stroke his cheek. As Pepito crept closer, Todd leaned back a little, then wrapped his arms around him in a hug and buried his face in the crook of his neck. A long moment passed without either of them moving from the position before he finally lifted his head to face him. "I really miss you." The words came out before he could stop them, the tone a little desperate, a little broken and, he thought, a lot too honest. It was all very pathetic.

Pepito nodded, his right hand on Todd's back starting to rub up and down slowly. "I know. I miss you too, but it won't be long now."

"Before the end?" Todd frowned deeply when he received another nod. "What happens then?"

"All kinds of things. Don't look so worried." Pepito ruffled Todd's hair and shrugged. "That question was pretty vague."

"Okay. Well, if you win-"

"I will."

"Right. Then what happens to all the people in the camps?"

He shrugged again. "Yahweh can keep the ones that still have faith in him by then. I really don't want most of them anyway if they're that stupid. They're not going to be released to join his army until it's already defeated, of course."

"So that means you're not going to kill them?"

"That would release them, albeit in a weaker form for most humans, so no. Not until we've won anyway. Yahweh will probably manage to take out some of the locations before that though. More souls means more power."

"Ah." Todd nodded slowly, a little relieved and a little confused, but mostly disturbed. He was also a little surprised that Pepito was freely telling him this after his resignation from the coven. He guessed that it wasn't really a big violation since it wasn't strategic or detailed, but he was sure that he would have had to pry and basically beg before the initiation for even this kind of information. "What about the other people … the uninitiated people with the marks?"

"Most of them will be relocated to Hell, depending on their skills and how much they have to offer the New Rule on Earth."

"Wait, so … so, you're not going to kill the camp people, but you are going to kill the people on your side? Seriously?"

"I told you, they're not really on my side. Most of them are cowards and social conformists … no better than Christians really. And killing them isn't really punishment; it's just ecological economics. We still need less people on Earth, and we can always build more cities in Hell to house them." He smirked when Todd pulled back some, glad that he was getting back to himself enough to take a stand despite the comfort that he still craved from Pepito's presence. It was a good sign, even if it lead to an argument. "What?"

"Betrayer." He rolled his eyes as he said it and his lips pressed together into a tight smile because it was so cliché. It would have been funny had it not been so tragic all around.

"I suppose to those people I am." Pepito smiled too. "Todd, do me a favor? Stop pretending that you didn't expect this."

Todd pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his arms on his knees. "Yeah, sorry. It must be so irritating when people assume you hold some kind of moral principles. Except, I seem to recall you complaining about me believing that you're the monster the Resistance claims you to be a few months ago. Don't those things sorta conflict?"

"Not from my point of view … although, probably they do from yours. Look, most of the cities in Hell are only torturous because of the social climate created there by its citizens, and we sort them so some are perfectly fine places to be. And the better souls will have a chance at reincarnation eventually. "

He nodded silently, then let a few moments pass before he looked down when he felt one of Pepito's black-socked feet prodding his right one slowly and with just the right about of pressure to make it tickle. Letting out a small huff of a laugh, he pulled the foot up closer to his body, then looked back up. "So what happens to people who aren't saved or damned?"

Another awkward moment of silence passed. "You mean people like you?"

"Yeah. And people who belong to other, non-Abrahamic religions or none at all. Uh, the ones that aren't marked, obviously." He knew already that anyone with the mark, which at this point was most people of most religions, belonged to Pepito and his father, but it was kind of annoying how both sides of the current war seemed to act as if theirs were the only two religious affiliations on the planet.

"Well, Yahweh considers those people to be his enemy. If you're not with him, you're against him, so … I guess they're mine by default." Actually, there was an inconsistency in the rolls of Hell that almost matched the numbers of people that belonged to alternate religions. As far as Hell, and probably Heaven, was concerned, those souls were just missing altogether. Some angels liked to claim that they were extinguished completely upon death like those of all ancient pagans, but Pepito didn't know if he believed that, about the ancient pagans or the current ones. Still, it wasn't worth risking with Todd. He didn't want to lose his soul to dispersion or another afterlife. As long as his paradigm of belief didn't shift too much and he wasn't allied with Yahweh, he should still be able to keep him, even if he wasn't committed to Satan either.

"So they go to Hell too?"

"Eh. Those people are actually the most annoying. They'll have to be assessed on a case by case basis, but there aren't that many of them that aren't marked."

"I see."

"Hey, you don't have to worry personally, okay? Father already said I can keep you with me on Earth after the war."

Todd gave him a small smile. "Great."

Pepito sighed. "I'm not going to apologize."

"For what?"

"For screwing up your chance at Heaven. I mean, I am sorry for the way it happened and that you're so sad about it, but I won't pretend to be sorry that you're safe from it now."

"Safe?" Todd laughed. "Pep, this is not safe. And it's not just about Heaven. It's this whole thing … this situation. It's horrible and unfair for nearly everyone, and … and what happens if you don't win?"

"I-"

"I know, you're determined to win, but what if you don't? Seriously, just think about it for a minute. Just a minute."

"Then my party loses the Earth." Pepito rolled his eyes. "I do know what's at stake, Amigo."

"Right. But what else? You know that part in Revelations where all the damned go to Hell for a thousand years and the Beast and the Dragon are locked in the pit?"

"Just because the Bible says it doesn't mean it's chiseled in some kind of destiny stone by magical weaving fairies. Prophecies fail all the time."

Todd shook his head. "I'm not saying that it's fate. But if the Bible is God's plan and he wins, why wouldn't he carry it out?"

"I suppose that he would attempt to carry it out. That doesn't mean he would be successful or that Father and I wouldn't find a way out even if he was. His version of the war is biased, you know."

"I know, but so is yours, and you … you should really make a plan in case things don't work out the way you think."

"Todd?" Pepito ran a hand through Todd's hair to lift it up and back from his face when he showed no incentive to move it himself after letting it fall there when his head moved down to rest on his arms, which were still crossed over his knees.

"I really don't want to be in Hell without you." Todd lifted his head back up, making Pepito's hand fall away. " And that pit thing doesn't sound so good."

Nodding, Pepito smiled sadly. "Alright, I'll get a committee on it. I promise, okay? I'm not going to let either of those things happen." Wiping away one of Todd's tears, he decided not to tell him that the Pit was indeed not so good. It was, in fact, the most torturous part of Hell.

"Okay." Scooting slightly closer again, Todd turned his hand over to wrap his pinky around Pepito's and shake. He smiled when Pepito arched a brow at him. "Well, it seemed to work last time … in a round about way. We're still friends, right?"

"Always." Pepito slowly moved his hand up, intertwining all of their fingers instead of just the two so that their palms were pressed against one another: his mark against Todd's fading one. He gave the hand he held a small, tender squeeze before placing a quick kiss on the back of it. "Do you still want to do this?"

Todd nodded, then let Pepito pull him gently back into his lap with his free hand and some added magical effort. Their foreheads came to rest against each other as the tingling started in his hand, anchoring itself onto the cords of energy that seemed to have embedded themselves when he was initiated, and then spreading throughout his being. His breathing deepened with every surge, every ebb and flow of the energy that was shared back and forth between them, and he pressed himself as close as he could to Pepito. A deep and wild part of him wanted to take the connection much further while his conscious mind was afraid of the longing, in the same way that it was afraid of the simian urge to jump from high places, and sought some sort of reassurance. Thus, the clinging served two contradictory purposes at once, and while it almost made him laugh, it didn't tempt him at all to let go.

Pepito's free arm wrapped around him to hold him as tight as he dared. Every now and then, he moved his head to place a light kiss on Todd's cheek or shoulder blade or to nuzzle the side of his head, but beyond that he tried to keep the experience as chaste as he could. There was still a bad taste in his psyche from Todd's anger after the time he had checked his chakra. What they were doing now was much, much deeper and it carried a stronger chance of either of them losing control. He bit his lip when he felt Todd kiss him back just below his ear and then further down, trying his best to breath evenly as both of their bodies shook rigidly. Tingling warmth flowed through their souls, building up steadily until it was released into the universe in an explosion of spiritual energy that left them both shaking against each other in the embrace they still held. Stiffly, he pried his hand out of the hold that he and Todd shared, then moved it up to tilt his face to look into his own once again. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Todd smiled at him weakly through a daze, his heart still beating fast and his skin still hot to the touch. He could feel it all over his body, like his soul was in a sort of vibrational aftershock that made him shiver as tingly currents of warmth ran through him. Of course, his face was a little hotter than the rest of him even though he was trying to ignore the fact that both of their erections were pressed together as closely as the rest of their bodies. It wasn't nearly as awkward as it had been the first time as Pepito had explained that it was just something that happened during the exchange sometimes. It wasn't so much due to sexual arousal as it was to the general bodily and spiritual arousal that was produced by so much energy moving between them. "Thanks, Pepito"

"No problem, Squee." Returning the smile, probably a little too warmly, Pepito pressed Todd's shoulder to make him lay back against the pillows of his bed. He leaned over him on all fours for a moment to press another kiss to his lips. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"Are you staying?" Todd griped the sleeve of his upper arm as if he could keep him there.

"Until we fall asleep. Then you know my soul will fall back into my body." He glided over onto his side on Todd's left, letting his captured arm drape over his chest. It wasn't quite as good as having both of their whole selves wrapped around each other in a warm bed, but it was as close as they were likely to get for now. His hand moved up to Todd's hair again as they both closed their eyes, brushing it to the side and then petting it softly, protectively, as he wondered once again if he should tell Todd about the social context of what they had just done in demonic culture.

Originally, as beings of pure energy, demons didn't have sex or sexual activity in the human sense. Some of them only picked it up later through interactions with humans, feeling sexual pleasure only as a secondary effect of the human's pleasure through a psychic link. Often when they happened to feel love for a human, this link took the form of a soul bonding, an exchange of essential spiritual energy, which was something that was inherent to demonic entities. In Hell it was how family bonds were formed between two or more demons. Strictly speaking, there was no such thing as the demonic sex that Todd had seemed so afraid of nearly a month ago, only human sex that happened to involve demons or sex between partial demons that could only take place because of the human ingredients. But there was, always had been, demonic love-making, and this was it.

"Hey, Pepe?"

Pepito's eyes opened again, his previous thoughts falling away at the sound of Todd's drowsy voice. "Hmm?"

"I … I sort of wanted to ask … am I possessed?"

"What?"

"Well, you know, this ..." he raised his arms as if to display the energy field, "this energy that's still inside of me. It effects the way I feel and think, and Lucille, well the other day she said something about trying an exorcism to make me better. Isn't that only for possessions?"

Pepito sighed again. Leave it to a fucking nun. "Sometimes the clearing of demons or souls from a space, such as a haunted house, is called an exorcism when the term is used loosely. The energy inside of you isn't another being exactly. It's from the Black Flame of Hell, which is channeled through me to Initiates. It can effect you, but only in mood or inspirational feelings; not in specific thoughts. That shouldn't be what was making you depressed before, though. Abe said that was a block … more the lack of spiritual connection than an additional one."

"But it is what's making me need this … bonding thing, right?"

"I suppose it is. To be honest, I've never had to break the connection with an Initiate before, so I'm not sure how the process would normally work. This … this could be perfectly normal. And at any rate, the Flame is leaving you. These sessions slow it down a little, but it seems that slower hurts less, right?" He waited for Todd to nod. "Well, an exorcism, if it even worked, would pull it out all at once, which would probably be far more painful … and needlessly so considering that it's leaving on its own."

"Ah."

"Plus, rituals involving Yahweh aren't allowed on my property. Prayers are bad enough." He smirked and raised a brow at Todd. "If you really wanted to do it, you wouldn't have mentioned it to me, would you?"

"Well, okay. I didn't want to do it really. Exorcisms are pretty scary. But I thought it was worth bringing up to get your opinion, and … I thought maybe if it was the only way ...."

"If it was the absolute only way, I would give my permission." Pepito looked to the side at the wall as he admitted this, then back to see that Todd was now sporting a warm smile that almost made up for the shame his previous statement had made him feel. "You know I hate seeing you so sick."

"I … I do love you, Pep. Even if you are a horrible jerk."

"Ha. Thanks, Todd. Even if your love is the dysfunctional kind that's laced in insults."

"It's because you make me feel bipolar with all the contradictions." He frowned, then yawned. "It's like … when it's just you and me you seem like a normal person … maybe even a good one. But then with those other people, it's … just completely different. I don't really understand how you can feel compassion for me, but you can't for them at all."

"While I disagree with your moral perspective, I have to ask, don't you think there's a difference between being a good friend and a good person in general?"

"I'm not sure." Rolling over to face Pepito, Todd propped his head up on an elbow. "I guess … that's sort of a good point, but … if you can feel empathy, you can feel it, you know? It's not naturally limited. So if you can be a good friend, you should at least have the potential to be a good person."

"I'm gonna have to disagree again."

"Really?" He let out an astounded huff of a laugh with the word.

"Well, alright, the capability to feel empathy isn't limited, but the expression of love is. You can only practically love or hate so many people because it takes energy and effort. It's not something you can do for the whole human race, and attempting to spread it out that far means that what you do for individual people is less once you get passed a certain point. It's also unhealthy because it's an unrealistic goal and it means you're investing yourself in people who will never make any effort to return it. It's better to love only those who deserve it and who are worth your time."

"Maybe you can't preform an action of love for everyone in the world at all times, although that might be arguable for someone in your position of power, but you can still be open to feeling love for every individual if certain situations arise."

"Sure, but why would I want to? I still think that's unhealthy and counterproductive. And it would be forced and false."

"It's not for me. It just feels … right."

"I know, Amigo." Wrapping his hand around Todd's lower arm, Pepito pulled it to him so that Todd's head fell down to rest on the pillow below, at eye level with him. "I don't understand it, but I know. Like I said before, we have very different moral points of view, but you know I really do care about you, right? Even if you don't understand how."

"Yeah, I know, I …" he yawned again, "I guess I should be flattered that you chose me as one of the select few."

Pepito shot him a playful smile as he moved slightly closer, settling in for sleep. "See, now we're getting somewhere."

"Yeah, somewhere." Todd shook his head and closed his eyes as his fingers curled around Pepito's. "Night, Pepe."

"Good night, Amigo." He continued to lay there awake for a good thirty minutes just watching Todd to make sure he was deep in sleep before allowing himself to fall into unconsciousness as well, not wanting to disappear from his side abruptly.

 

The next morning Pepito was awoken to a gentle voice, accompanied by soft, suggestive touches. He groaned, wanting more sleep despite the enticing sensations that made up his usual morning wake-up call. Hot kisses moved across his face and toward his ear.

"Master," she whispered in a near sing-song tone, "it's time to wake up."

"Uhmm." His eyes blinked open to stare at the ceiling of his bedroom as soft silicon-skinned hands moved slowly across his bare chest, pushing the covers to the sides. He let her continue to work at his body with hands and lips, deciding not to initiate any of the role-playing scenarios that he had programed her with. There were only two ways he could really enjoy android sex and both were more like assisted masturbation that actual sex with another person: role-playing, which involved pretending that something else was happening or this very basic physical friction that involved the android acting as a sophisticated sex-toy. That's what they were really, though he was aware that some people found them to be somehow much more than that and much more gratifying.

He had never really understood the overwhelming fascination, but he did understand the physical elements. This understanding was reinforced with a gasp as the android pulled down his underwear and took his half-erect flesh into her mouth where it was treated to near constant suction, elevated heat, eager, massaging throat muscles that were built for effortless deep-throating and an extra long, vibrating, prehensile tongue. He reached up to grab the pillow his head lay on with one hand as his other moved down to sink its fingers into soft, blond, shoulder-length hair. Gripping the strands, he pushed her head down further, thrusting into the warmth without having to worry about teeth, which partly retracted during this type of service, or breathing, with was optional for androids, as his erection grew to full length.

She went up on her knees, her hands helping to support her on either side of his hips, to accommodate him without so much as a bat of her eyes. Her lips enclosed him, moving up and down from the tip to the base, meeting his nearly violent thrusts perfectly. Too perfectly for someone like Pepito, who actually enjoyed the emotional tension of sex. Still, it was hard to argue with such amazing stimulus, and it wasn't long before he came deep inside her throat.

When the pleasure ebbed, he slowly released his hold on her hair, letting her move her head up from his length to lick her lips as she looked down at him, awaiting her next order.

"Would you like breakfast now?" she finally asked. "I could make those apple cinnamon hotcakes that you like so much."

"No. Not right now." He slowly shook his head as he heaved himself up some to sit amongst the pillows that were propped against his headboard, his gaze fixed once again upon her thin face, her ruffled strawberry blond hair, freckles, deep blue eyes. That was one of his mother's recipes. He had programed in as many as he could remember when he had first gotten her. It was made to order, like her face, which could just as easily have been staring out at him from a the photo that rested atop the fireplace mantle in his living room, the one of his parents and himself from when he was about seven. He had chosen these features individually from a modeling computer program about eight months ago, and they had added up to this thing that could pass for a twenty-something version of his mother. And he didn't want to trade it in.

Normally, he didn't prefer blonds, but since the indwelling the ones with this shade had become enticing. That was probably the reason for this android as well. The imprint of his father's tastes had left their mark on the portion of the Black Flame that had saved his life and nourished his soul, so now it was here, possibly to stay. He frowned at that thought because the idea made him feel uneasy, vaguely ill even, and he wasn't sure if it was some inherent human aversion to incest or just the idea of what his mother would think if she somehow found out.

Demons, having no biological components in their original form and thus experiencing no ill effects from the practice, had no incest taboos or aversions, not even primary ones for parent-child relations. Pepito had never been sure if he had any himself. Until recently, he'd had no desire to have sexual contact with either of his parents, but he'd never been grossed out by the thought of walking in on them like most human kids he had known growing up either. He hadn't wanted to, but it wouldn't have ruffled his feathers too much if he had. He didn't have any full siblings, so he couldn't say how he would feel about that. He had been enjoying sex with spiritual half siblings since his initiation at the age of thirteen, as well as some biological cousins. And his 'very obvious feelings for Todd', whom he also happened to love as a brother, probably spoke for themselves.

And then there were the other issues. He was into BDSM for the intimacy, elicited trust and power relations. None of that was possible with the android, but he still liked to hold her down, especially when she was role-playing as Rosemary. The fantasy then, was more about actual forced pleasure instead of mutual exchange as it usually was with real people. It was about his desire, or the desire of the Blake Flame that his father had given him, to force his mother to submit and enjoy the wrongness of it. He laughed. Maybe he was just becoming more demonic now. Corrupting good Christians had always been fun, so why not add the sinfulness of incest?

"I could run you a bath," she offered suddenly, though her body didn't move or appear tense.

Pepito shook his head again. He knew she wasn't bored or uncomfortable like a human might be. It was just an internal clock that told her that he possibly was by now, and that she should try to alleviate it. "No. I think," he pushed the covers down further, spreading his legs more to accentuate his still-hard length, "I think I'd rather have a second wake up call."

"You want my mouth again?" She smiled a preprogramed seductive smile as she crawled the few feet that now separated her mouth from where it needed to be when he nodded.

It wasn't at all unusual for him to come again, sometimes without stopping after the first time, even with the android. People with significant demonic heritage usually didn't require the down time that most human males did, and Pepito tried to take advantage of that fact often. But this time was different; this time he had a plan … a plan that he was tempted to abandon when he felt her moist, silky mouth tighten around him.

He moaned, holding her hair once again with one hand as the other ran down to her upper back. It moved up and down until he found the flesh-colored seal, pulling it up and then pressing his thumb into the area underneath. A few seconds later the processors inside recognized his print, which was the signature to open a panel just below. He stretched further over her, until her forehead rested firmly against his stomach, to switch two things off: one was the current AI personality download that she was using and the other was the obedience control that he had to find in the system manual.

Normally, the second one wasn't even accessible unless you were a programmer, but he had demanded that the option be left open at her last checkup when he had taken her out of storage after Todd went back to California. He had turned it off when he was alone with her, but she had done nothing but sit around and eventually plug herself into an outlet to get more energy. Not exactly what he would call sentient, but maybe ....

A few seconds after the controls were off she went slack. All of the nice sensations came to an end, but Pepito persisted in thrusting in and out of her throat, never leaving her mouth or releasing her hair. It felt a little sick in a necrophile sort of way, but he decided to ride it out. He winced on an inward thrust when he felt teeth; they were back out apparently, so he went a little slower until he felt the android start to struggle to pull her head away. He tightened his grip on her hair, forcing her back down again and again. Finally, her struggling became too much. She was flailing with her legs, clawing into his and trying to bite him in a very sensitive place. He let her up and watched as she took one deep breath after another, all the while moving further away from him.

He caught her leg when she was close to the end of the bed, pulling her back into the middle and climbing on top. A normal human probably couldn't have held her there, but Pepito used his powers to hold her down, to pin her hands to the sides of her head as his own latched around her neck and squeezed, cutting off the automatic breathing that was meant to make the androids look more realistic. Although she couldn't move, he could feel her struggling against his power, trying desperately to break free and breath, as if her life depended on it.

And then he realized, she didn't know it was artificial. To make the androids able to truly synthesize humanity, they had given them instincts that lay beneath even the most basic control coding. He knew from his last experiment that they didn't understand even simple commands without the controls, so there was no use in trying to speak to her yet. Probably, the androids that had helped the escapees at Todd's work camp in this state had been taught from the bottom up like a human child.

He released her neck and moved back, letting her breath in the air that she didn't really need as tears ran down her checks, but not releasing her from his powers. When she was this worked up and afraid, she could probably kill a human easily. Even he could face some serious goring.

Her breathing calmed down slowly, but every time he tried to get closer or say something to reassure her, her eyes went wild and her body tensed. He didn't know what could undo the terror he had just inflicted, and he realized with a shock that he desperately wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "in a necrophile kind of way" is a partial quote from Rosemary's Baby. The part about Pepito having a freakish crush on his mom is partly related to the plot and partly inspired by the sequel novel to Rosemary's Baby, Son of Rosemary.


	26. Chapter 26

In the basement gym of the Bramford, Pepito pressed the 'up' button on the treadmill, matching the faster pace eagerly in an attempt to lose himself to the physical exertion and get rid of some of the stress that had built up during the last few weeks. After his second experiment with his own android, he'd had to shut her down with his powers and restart her with the main system control and AI back on. Otherwise, he'd been unable to calm her down. Even after that, he had started to notice tiny glitches in her program when they interacted. She had started to hesitate at his orders, especially the sexual ones. Her irises now widened when he touched her even causally for just a second before the programming responded in the expected manner.

Once he had noticed it, it had become increasingly apparent until he had finally decided to resurrect the old plans to test a full range of subjects, despite the ire of many coven and cabinet officials. He had even attempted to question Professor Membrane about how they had been created, but the man had become very dedicated to secrecy in his old age. He would do no more than confirm Pepito's suspicion that there was a more basic, animal-instinct like code below the control code and lecture him that the control should never be turned off, as per the legal agreement in the manual that came with every android. If he'd had the full authority of the government and Hell on his side on the matter, Pepito would have forced the information from him. He was tempted to anyway out of sheer annoyance, but he knew he was already pushing it with the testing. Membrane Labs were also the foremost scientific research labs enlisted in partnership with his government. Their role in the future was too important to jeopardize without support.

The whole thing had been strictly under-wraps to the public so far, but two days ago the team he had assembled had reached a somewhat disturbing conclusion: the AIs appeared to have reached a point at which they were psychologically indistinguishable from higher mammals; some of them even from humans. After that, he had scheduled a press conference for a week from tomorrow, which he was very much not looking forward to.

One of the ear buds to his MP3 player was suddenly pulled out of his ear. He let it fall down to his waist on his left side while the right one remained, as he looked to his right where Minnie was shaking her head with a smirk.

"I swear, that boy would be deaf by now if he was human, listening to that heavy music so loud!"

"Yes, and it could be quiet dangerous too," Roman added from his left where the sound was still muffled, "When you're deaf to the world, you don't notice your surroundings. And that can get you killed, Adrian. Just ask your namesake."

Pepito rolled his eyes, though he did manage to look a little abashed. He had barely even noticed them come in and take up the tread mills on either side of him … probably about ten minutes before. "Yes, well, I think I've already got that covered. I did die last year, in case you've forgotten."

"You think that makes you impervious?"

"Yes?" He shot Roman an incredulous look. "I thought that was the point."

"The point, dear," Minnie said, "was to save your life and your mission."

"Right. And in so doing the Flame healed a shot to my head that not only killed me, but also caused considerable brain damage. Are you telling me you don't think that kind of protection will continue? Because that power hasn't gone."

"Oh, who's talkin' about the power leaving?" Minnie shook her head again. "What I'm talkin' about is the power havin' limitations. Yeah, it's the best protection you're likely to come across, but it has its limits."

"For example?" Pepito pulled his player from the pocket of his gym shorts, turning it off and finally removing the second ear bud.

"Alright. You know how me and Roman and the rest of the old coven have stopped aging?"

"No. I hadn't noticed." He looked over her face as if to give an assessment. "I guess once you get passed a certain age, your looks top off and all old people just sort of look the same."

"Psh." She waved a hand in his direction at the sarcasm, obviously used to his ire when his workout was interrupted.

"Stop with your flattery, already!" Roman joked. "And listen to my beautiful wife."

"Oh, stop, Roman." Minnie pressed the down button so that her moderate walking pace moved down to slow as she looked back to Pepito. "What I'm tryin' to say is, we can still die, just not of natural causes. You have a lot more of the Flame than we do, so you've got more protection. You can heal from almost anything that's bound to happen to you."

"Almost anything?" Pepito asked. "What can't I heal from?"

Roman took a long sip from his water bottle before answering. "Well, obviously, you'd have a bit of a problem healing from anything that destroyed your physical form completely."

"Yeah, I knew that. Then there'd be nothing to build from, and I'd have to be reincarnated into a growing fetus or an unused body. While I see your point, that's not technically a healing problem. What can't I _heal_ from?"

"It's the rules of the war, of Yahweh's rein." Minnie shrugged to indicate that this was common sense. "Demons have limited power over the souls of humans. If they're not marked, demons can't appear to them as fully human. They have to have a tell, so to speak. Usually it's the feet or the eyes."

"You know I know that." He stretched his arms to the ceiling with a yawn. This was starting to sound like one of his middle school 'demon lessons'. "The only way to break that rule is if the demon uses an image of a human that has given their soul, or at least their material form, in a contract." That was the way his father had passed as a human business man for all those years … and the way he had passed as Todd in the shower more recently. Of course, the human illusion wasn't as much of a problem when they were actually incarnated as humans like Karl or, better yet, incarnated and only part demon like himself. Biologically, he actually was human, so his material body looked the part naturally. His soul was half and half, but most humans couldn't see souls and spirits anyway and even the ones who did could usually be tricked if he stayed focused on keeping his infernal form hidden.

"Don't go getting all impatient now! I'm goin' somewhere with this. Just like the power is limited in its influence over the human mind, it is limited in its influence over life and death. Just like there has to be one thing that gives a demon away as what it is, there has to be one thing that the Flame can't protect you from. Like you said, one thing that counts as healing."

His eyes narrowed. "And what is that one thing? Why hasn't anyone ever told me about it?"

"If you recall, Adrian, you used to have one hell of a hard time with secrets." Roman chuckled to himself at the memories. "And besides that, Minnie and I don't know. Probably no one does except your father, and of that you should be glad. You're safer that way."

"Well, thanks for telling me that some random, mysterious thing can take me out. Now I certainly won't be paranoid." Pepito let out a huff, then took a quick drink of his own water. "So, if you two came down here to try and talk me out of the conference, do it now because I have another engagement in two hours. And try to be more original this time. I already know that people like the androids and that there's no direct reason in the Satanic moral system to even care that some of them are people. And that the masses are weak ass bitches that couldn't handle the truth even if they deserved it, which they don't."

"Then if you already know those things, would you mind telling us exactly what you're problem with it is?" Roman asked delicately, ignoring the foul, childish language and the annoyed look that he received for his question.

"Well, for one thing, a lot of them are at the level of higher animals. The Satanic Laws forbid needless harm to animals, and you know that I've always been very big on enforcing that stance. For another, rape is forbidden, and I think this could apply to some of the more advanced subjects. How am I supposed to sort all that shit out at the work camps if I just sit back and let it happen in the public sphere?" Never-mind that some of the tests that had to be preformed to reach any kind of meaningful conclusion involved procedures that would be considered physical, sexual and emotional torture had they been conducted on humans. It was the kind of thing that he had worked so hard to get outlawed in the form of animal testing and research as a senator, but it was still the fastest way to get results in a society that was currently growing more and more dependent on androids … and using them for any purpose that struck their fancy.

"But wasn't that always part and parcel of the idea? That people would use them to take out frustrations and impulses that they couldn't, and shouldn't, on other humans."

"Yes Roman, except the rates for rape and domestic violence haven't gone down any more than they would have anyway with the one-strike policy I've implemented." He frowned, remembering when his mother had first heard about that facet of the android use. She had said that besides being immoral, it was bad social policy, based on an old, outdated theory: catharsis didn't work. Instead of getting rid of destructive fantasies for good, intensely simulating them simply reinforced them, making it more likely that people would actually apply them with other people instead of just the androids in much the same way that violent pornography seemed to increase acts of real life violence. At the time, he hadn't believed her. She was too saturated in Christian ideology to see anything clearly, even if she did have degrees in sociology and psychology. Now his own social scientists were seeing something similar, even if they never clearly stated it in their studies, even if some of them purposefully selected their regions of interest to reach conclusions that backed the position of the current status quo. He could read between the lines when he needed to.

There was a long moment of silence, during which Minnie stopped her tread mill and started to wipe her face with a small towel. She'd never been big on exercise, so Pepito knew she had come here just to talk to him. So, he talked. "I'm not against the natural slavery of the weak to the strong when it is fairly due, but the strong should be defined at least partly by their honor and intelligence, which is made evident in actions, in good choices for the future. If the androids are really alive in some way and we continue to treat them like shit, how do you think that's going to work out in the end?"

"Hu! Not too good for us humans, uh?" Minnie laughed derisively. "I saw one of them Flesh Fairs on TV the other day. Talk about dishonor! And what a waste! Destroying all those robots just because its 'fun' and entertaining. The only good thing about the whole program is when they bring in the criminals that got the death sentence."

Pepito smirked even though a part of him had hoped that they would come at him with something new that really would change his mind. This whole stupid thing was annoying, time consuming and it sure as hell wasn't going to do anything for his approval rating. He should have known better though. Minnie had always been even less interested in the whole prospect than himself. She and Roman had an android, of course. At this point, it was almost compulsory for the upper class, but from what he could tell its main purpose, maybe its only purpose, was to cook, clean and fetch the groceries. He nearly laughed to himself, imaging that the sour look on Roman's face was the thought of possibly going back to Minnie's cooking.

"Well, if your mind's made up, it's made up," Roman finally said.

"Mm. Yeah, it is." Sadly. He pressed the stop button and gathered his things as Roman and Minnie did the same. As he stepped off of the tread mill, Roman grabbed his upper arm, not with enough force to stop him, but just to get his attention.

"Only, if you're doing this for Todd, try to make it count this time, eh?"

"What?" Pepito turned to face him. "Todd's the one who initially brought the possibility to my attention, but I assure you this isn't just-"

"Oh, assure nothing, Pepe!" Minnie swatted him on his other arm. "We've known. We've _always known_."

"The way you just said that was mildly creepy."

"Be that as it may, Minnie's right. Are we supposed to believe that this new project is nearly the same as Todd's payment for his soul out of shear coincidence?"

"No. It's not a coincidence." Pepito spoke to them slowly, as if they had gone senile over night, even though in the back of his mind he knew they were partly right. "Todd just happened to have a really good reason for wishing that. One that I've come to understand myself."

Minnie grunted. "Whatever you have to tell the coven, dear, but seriously, don't you think it's time you wrap this thing up? You've only got a few more months before the end, according to the latest projections."

His hand tightened on the bottle of water that he held at her condescending tone, and the lighting overhead flickered. "Wrap what thing up?"

"Your relationship with Todd, of course! You've only been friends for … what? Twenty-four years now?" She nodded to herself as if doing the math in her head. "One of the things I've always admired about you, Adrian, is that you decide what you want and then you make it yours. I just don't understand why you've never been able to do that with Todd."

"It's not that simple."

"Of course it is! You just keep missing the target you're supposed to be aimin' at." She let out a flabbergasted sigh when he raised a brow. "His heart, silly. You love the boy, so just cut the excuses and ask him already."

"I can't ask him … that."

"Look, if you want my opinion, this whole initiation problem goes straight back to you asking him to sign the wrong kind of contract."

Pepito laughed. "There's no way it's that simple. Anyway, maybe I thought my chances with the coven initiation were better than they would have been with the familiar one. And Todd's a human."

"Well, if you've got a problem with humans!"

"You know what I meant." He flung his towel over his shoulder, making it obvious that he was ready to leave both the room and the conversation. "I don't have a problem with humans … some humans. He just wouldn't understand. He sees those things in human terms. Among other things, it would still have been a Satanic Initiation of a sort, and I'm sure he would have seen it that way."

She shook her head. "Even after your parents-"

"Oh, come on, Minnie. Especially after my parents. Just look how that turned out. Not to mention that's a terrible example, and they were never married according to the laws of Hell since Mother didn't enter into the marriage in full knowledge and consent."

"Well, what about Roman and me? I'm human and he's part demon, and we've been together happily for … shoot, how many years?"

"Sixty-eight glorious years, and counting, right in to Eternity." Roman smiled at her. "If Minnie's right, Adrian, you might want take her advice. You can't afford to let this situation cloud your judgment or steal your concentration when the Final Battle comes. It needs resolution. And remember, a little subtle persuasion never hurts when you really want something."

"You two are a freakish exception … in a good way, of course." Even as he rolled his eyes he smiled slightly because they were kind of sweet together with their little terms of endearment even after all those years of human aging and then … not aging at an already old age. He shuddered at the aging prospect as he turned to go, deciding to take the stairs up to his apartment to shower and change because he knew they would take the elevator. "Consider your freakish advice noted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The thing about bodies not being able to heal is somewhat inspired by old Christian arguments about whether or not a body can be brought back for the last judgment if it has been too far reclaimed by the nitrogen cycle. The part about demons having a tell (nearly always sporting a sign of not being fully human) is from Christian demonology. It's also present in many nonChristian demon legends.
> 
> -The part about the androids being synthetic human slaves used for catharsis to the benefit of society and is inspired by the very similar view held by the Church of Satan. The part where Pepito talks about slavery and honor is inspired by the Church of Satan and by Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics (which is big among many Satanist groups).


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of sexual functions and abusive sexual situations

As a sensual explosion rippled through his mind, following in tingly waves all down his body in short order, Todd's eyes shot open and he groaned at the white ceiling that met his vision. He brought both hands up to cover his eyes, hiding from the familiar pattern like it would judge him for the wetness that he could already feel seeping into his pajama pants … again. The hands moved up into his hair, gripping thick strands between his fingers and tugging just hard enough to cause some pain. It pulled him from the daze of the afterglow, both of sleep and of the euphoric rush that his body was still sensitive from, and then he let his head fall back against the pillow, so frustrated with himself that he felt at a loss.

Sighing, Todd threw off the covers and pealed off all of his clothes, stuffing them into the laundry basket next to the bathroom even though what he really wanted to do was burn them and bury their ashes. At least the California House was such a large estate that likely no one would, or had yet to, notice the abundance of soiled garments coming from his room. The laundry service was too huge and anonymous, not to mention automated, for any gossip to come of it. And, of course, even that would be the least of his problems.

When he got into the shower, turning the heat up as far as he could stand it and intent on engaging in the hard, angry scrubbing that had almost become a sort of ritual over the last month or so, he managed to drop the soap a total of three times before he finally lost it. The first time had been mildly annoying. The second had been kind of funny, even though the stupid old prison joke that now hit several of his nerves was not lost on him. But the third ….

"Arg!" He kicked the bar on the shower floor, sending it crashing into the tile wall a foot away and then ricocheting back to hit him in the ankle. The surprise and mild pain of its retaliation had him dropping carelessly down to sit in a corner under the falling water, his pride even more hurt than before. He looked down at the still mostly soap-less sponge, then hurled it at the glass door, which nearly opened at the pressure of impact. "I can't do anything right, can I?" He shook his head. "I can't even dream right … or have wet dreams right … even when they're about the wrong, horribly wrong, person." And even after he had purposefully started masturbating again to make sure these kinds of accidents would stop.

Covering his eyes with his hands again, he inhaled the steamy air and let out a deep sigh. At least this time the actual events of the dream hadn't been so strange or horrific. And sometimes they were: horrific, terrifying sex dreams that forced him not only to the brink of physical ecstasy, but also very close to the edge of sanity. He still wasn't sure how both states could exist simultaneously, but he tried not to think about it too much. It was probably just the Black Flame clinging to his soul in any way it could now that it was almost gone and he no longer needed the soul bonding with Pepito. What was even stranger was that the dreams were mixed. Some of them could almost pass for scenes out of Hell, or at least his own personal Hell, while others were fairly normal. Well, as normal as sex dreams about a high ranking half-demon with a BDSM kink were likely to get.

In addition to being traumatic, it was also pretty confusing. He didn't know how much of it was the Flame, how much of it was not-so-unconscious fear and how much of it was actual, honest desire. The last prospect by itself was both deeply scary and oddly comforting. He was almost certainly going to Hell, or at least Hell on Earth if things somehow worked out in Pepito's favor. So, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to find some sort of crazed, ecstatic pleasure in it. Maybe it was even a type of self-preservation.

He started to laugh, but the ringing of the phone in his room cut through his thoughts like a cookie cutter through jello, forming them into a different shape. Heaving himself up, he turned off the water, pulled on a robe and darted for the cordless phone in his bedroom. If it was Rosemary, Marla or Edgar he didn't want them coming in to find him moping about undressed because he didn't answer. They worried enough about his mental health as it was. He still had to have aural scans and blood work every two weeks, and he felt no need to increase the tests.

When he made it to the receiver in time, he smiled, feeling his mood even out some. "Hello?"

"Benous dias, Amigo."

"Oh, h-hey, Pepito." He forced back nearly tactile memories of hot wax, and some pretty hot hands as well, on his flesh, trying his best to think of something, anything, else.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I was … awake."

"Good." There was a pause. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah."

"Really okay? You sound a little-"

"Yes, really okay." Todd cut him off with blunt, solid words that made it obvious that he didn't want to be questioned further about the matter, then let his voice fall back to normal. "I've been feeling a lot better lately. A lot more like me."

"I'm glad."

"Me too. But I don't want any more partial apologies, okay?"

"Todd, I can't give you a whole one. It would have been completely different if-"

"I know. I understand that you're only sorry for the circumstances that I was initiated under, and that, that is really the main thing, I guess. It's enough anyway, and I've already forgiven you."

"You have? Really?"

Pepito sounded a little guilty still, and Todd could tell that he hadn't completely forgiven himself yet, but he would have to work that part out on his own. "Yes, so don't apologize anymore. I'm tried of talking about it."

"Oh. Alright. Then how about we talk about something else. Turn your TV to channel forty-eight."

"Okay." Raising a brow, Todd walked briskly into the living area of his suite, taking a seat on the couch and switching the TV on with the remote from the coffee table. Quickly, he flipped to the news channel and turned up the volume to hear what the reporters were saying about the footage on screen: workers were going about various duties inside an android factory, apparently taking inventory and boxing components. A woman with red hair was on the scene.

_"Once again, we've been told that at all major factories and retail outlets, manufacturing of androids as been halted indefinitely, with many of the more recent models being recalled from stores. This order comes once again direct from the President's office, which is citing 'technical flaws' as the main cause. This decision comes several weeks after the latest release was postponed without comment, which, if you remember Bill, spurred quite a public outcry."_

_"Yes, Linda", the anchor said, "and now this latest turn of events will surely have even more people up in arms. One question that is sure to loom large in the minds of android owners is, of course, 'are the ones in our homes and our workforces a danger?' To help us answer this question, we contacted the mind behind the machines, Professor Membrane, for a statement earlier this morning. His lab claims that the androids are perfectly safe, and that they have never seen any research to the contrary. However, Membrane himself wishes us to stress to the public that no matter how safe they are when used as intended, the safety controls must not be turned off under any circumstances and the base code must only be accessed by a professional."_

_"There is some speculation that the recalled models, as well as the new canceled line, may have some problem with allowing these systems to be accessed too easily by the general public. Have you been able to get any comments about those allegations from the officials at the plant since we last checked in?"_

_She shook her head. "No, Bill, the higher-ups so far seem to be united in silence on the matter. I have spoken with several workers, though, with their own opinions." She motioned one man forward and held the microphone just below his mouth. "Your name is Daniel, correct?" She went on when he nodded. "And you've been working at this plant for how long?"_

_"'Bout five years." He crossed his arms over his overall clad chest._

_"And what do you think of this latest development? Do the androids pose a public safety risk? Is the President's Office out of line?"_

_"Well, I'll tell you, Linda, I think they are outta line. It's just another example of politicians trying to control business instead of letting the market decide what should and shouldn't be for sale."_

_Linda frowned. "But, uh, Daniel, surely that's a little cruel if there are safety concerns."_

_"Cruel?" He scowled at her. "Not according to the Revised Constitution, Miss. The weak and the incapable are to be removed from business, society and life by the dictates of Natural Law. Besides, what's cruel is that me and a lot of these people are gonna lose our hard-earned jobs over this government baby-sitting bull shit."_

_She forced a smile. "Well thank you for your opinion, Sir." He looked like he wanted to keep talking, but she picked another worker who had just loaded a large box into a the back of a large semi-trailer. "You! Sir, what do you think of the cease in production of androids? Are they safe?"_

_"Sure, as far as I can tell. Never seen a problem with the 'droids myself, but then this ain't an experimental factory. I can tell you this, though. The workers and the public deserve a real explanation for this decision. It affects a lot of people, either way."_

_"That it does." She nodded happily at his answer, obviously finding it more balanced, before looking back to the camera,. "So, that's it for the time being, Bill."_

_"Thank you, Linda." The screen went back to the news office. "It's important to note that we have been promised a more detailed comment from the President on this matter, but we don't yet know when it will come. But it looks like the sooner the better, or he may have more protests on his hands."_

When they moved on to another news bite, Todd turned off the TV, sitting in stunned silence even though he still had the phone pressed to his left ear.

"Todd? You still there?" Pepito asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry."

"What do you think?"

"Wow. I think … wow."

Pepito chuckled a little. "Just 'wow'? That first guy was misinterpreting the Constitution as it applies to public safety, just so you know. It would be ridiculous to have to wait for actual damage and then for the market to respond."

"Why ... why did you do that? I thought that after … after I ..."

"I know you tried, Todd, and I didn't want you to have gone through all of that for nothing. Also … I've been thinking about what you said … about them being people."

"Really?" Todd nearly dropped the phone. "I mean, seriously?"

"Yes, so I did some … research, and I think that you're right, a least about some of them."

"But morally. Do you think I'm right morally. About it being wrong if they're people. I thought you didn't care."

"I … I don't ..." he paused to take a deep breath, "Yes. I have little basis for it, but yes. You're right. They never had a chance to be anything else. And it's not just sophisticated programing telling them what to think and feel. Some of those programs override their internal instincts forcefully, so … yeah."

"Pepe …."

"Don't cry, Amigo." Pepito laughed again, like he was trying to make light of it all. "I just wanted you to know. No matter what you decide or what happens in the end, that being my friend has made a difference, and that I appreciate it. Begrudgingly, of course."

"Of course." There was a genial silence. "Thank you. I know it isn't easy with all that pressure from the others, from your father."

"Don't worry. I can handle the pressure cooker. I grew up in it. I'll call you again later tonight, okay? Tell mother that I said 'hello'."

"Wait! Pepito?"

"Humm?"

"Can I … ask you something?"

"It isn't going to led to me having to change the course of world events again, is it?"

"I don't think so."

"Then be my guest."

"Remember when you first found me again, and drugged me to make me pass out so you could heal my wounds?"

"Yeah."

"Well … do you ..." Todd took a deep breath, then started over. "When I was out, I had a dream that was really a memory."

"Oh yeah?"

"Did you … you didn't cause that did you?"

"In a way. I used a spell that would pull up a convenient memory, one suited to the physical sensations that your body was undergoing at the time of the healing. But it shouldn't have been something that you weren't comfortable with, as the whole point was to make sure you didn't stress out. I'm sorry if-"

"So you didn't pick the memory?"

"No. Your subconscious should have done that. May I ask what it was?"

"Ummm," Todd switched hands with the phone to put off the conversation, if only for a few meager seconds.

"It wasn't … disturbing, was it?"

Todd bit his lip, well aware of what Pepito was afraid the memory had been. They still hadn't discussed the rape really. Not in depth or detail, though he had gathered that Pepito did indeed know the details after that embrace in the bathroom, which now felt so long ago. "No. It was okay. It wasn't … that."

"Alright." Pepito seemed to let out a held breath. "I can respect that."

"It was that night back in college … when we were both drunk in my dorm." Clamping a hand over this mouth, Todd leaned back into the couch as he felt hot blood rush to his face again, intensifying the burning feeling. He wasn't quite sure why he had divulged that after Pepito had been willing to let it go. Maybe it was because that night was still another thing that they had never really talked about. And maybe he was finally starting to accept that he did have those kind of feelings for Pepito, but that seemed almost pointless this close to the end.

"Oh. _Oh_. And you said it was okay, right?"

"Uh, yeah. It was just like a replay or something." More silence, this time somewhat awkward. He still couldn't do it; couldn't drag it all out again. But at least he knew how far back the sex dreams went now. He wasn't entirely sure that the memory counted, even if he had chosen it himself, but then again, he could have chosen one about Jamie or one of the other women he had dated long-term since then. "Okay, so I'll tell your mom what you said."

"Todd?"

His thumb stopped right before pressing the 'end' button. "Huh?"

"I want to ask you something too, and I want you to think about it, for as long as you need, but this time just in terms of what you want, alright?"

He instantly felt his body tense, making him glad that he hadn't dug any deeper before. He didn't want to give Pepito any more ideas for conversion or deals. "Alright. I'm listening, but I'm pretty sure your dad said that was my last chance. And if it's anything like last time-"

"It's not. I promise."

"Okay," Todd said, a little wearily.

"I don't know if you recall what I said to you the night of my birthday, that I consider you a part of my family, but I meant it. I know that it's probably too much to ask for you to think of me as the same, after all we've … after all I've done, but I think I have to."

"Pepito, you know that I care about you, but I'm not really sure what you're saying right now."

"Yes, forgive me. I'm being purposefully vague, but it will all become clear soon. I just ask that you don't hang up when it does."

"You're making me really nervous."

"Sorry." His tone suddenly changed. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay." Todd took another deep breath. "Pepe?" This time all he heard was a dial tone. Groaning, he clicked his phone off and tossed it aside to pick up Shmee, who was still sitting on the sofa from a late night of TV watching, instead. He held the bear above his head as he leaned back further. "What's wrong with me, Shmee?"

He chuckled when Shmee said nothing, pulling him to his chest to wrap him in a loose hug. "You don't know either, huh?"

Curling his legs underneath him, he closed his eyes and nearly fell back asleep there on the couch, but there was a knocking at his door. After answering it to find Lucille there, he dressed and headed out to the lawn to take up her offer of joining her, Rosemary and Edgar for tea. During her time as a Nun, she had spent some time in England doing Interfaith work, and she claimed to have grown very found of some of their customs. As such, when Todd arrived he found finger sandwiches, a large picture of hot water, a basket of various tea bags and crumpets with raspberry and cream cheese spreads all arranged on the elegant lawn table, under a yellow umbrella. Lucille was the only one there so far, which was a little strange because he'd had to get a real shower and dress before heading down.

He took a seat. "Where's Miss Reilly and Edgar?" He frowned when she seemed to cringe at his words. It was a very slight downturn of lips, but he had noticed over the last few months that it happened not infrequently when he spoke to her about Rosemary. He was sure it wasn't that Lucille disliked her because they seemed to be good friends. And it couldn't be because he called her 'Miss Reilly' like it was with Pepito at times. It reminded him, both of them really, of the divorce, but Lucille hadn't known her before that as far as he knew. Maybe it was just that it was so formal. Or maybe there was some slight hostility there. Maybe she felt with Rosemary a small amount of what he often felt with Pepito: that he was a kept pet, safe and sound because of the whims of another, more powerful person in a world that he had little control over. Of course, it was likely that Rosemary herself probably felt that in turn, with both Pepito and her ex-husband.

"Oh, they were in the middle of something, so it's just going to be you and me." With a smile, she gestured to the food. "Help yourself, dear."

"Oh. Thank you." Todd forced a smile of his own, tentatively reaching out to place a few small cucumber sandwiches on his plate. Choosing an herbal Mint tea, he poured the steaming water over it in his cup before looking over at the large Koi pond to their right. It was always a little awkward for him when he and Lucille were completely alone. Plus, it was hard not to point out that tea wasn't really much of a British custom anymore. He figured Lucille had based her assumption on her experience in higher class hotels that she and her fellow nuns had stayed at there, which supposedly did high tea for tourists.

"You're quite welcome." She helped herself as well. "So, how are you?"

"Good. Pretty good." He smiled again and took a bite of a sandwich, chewing slowly to give him more time to think and less to talk.

"And spiritually?"

He nodded and swallowed. "Uh, also good, relatively speaking, of course. The, uh, Flame thing is almost gone, and I still don't think I need an exorcism or anything like that. It barely even hurts anymore and I can't see the mark on my hand unless I look really close in good light."

"That's great. Just great." Lucille gave him a half-hearted smile that matched her tone as she looked down at her plate to study her food.

"Well, like I said, it's relative to my previous state of self-torture and spiritual sickness." He took a nervous sip of his tea. "I'm not really expecting Buddha-type levels of Enlightenment here. But even if it seems silly to be working on my soul right before I go to Hell, I really just want to be someone I can live with, at least for the time I have left."

"Buddha?" She frowned. "I thought you were a Christian."

"I never said that." He felt a cynical smirk pull at the right corner of his lips at her shocked look. It was amazingly ridiculous that he was damned and living in a house that belonged to the son of Satan, in a world that practically worshiped him and still being judged by one-way Christians for not thinking exactly like them.

"But Pepito-"

"Pepito assumed. Pepito assumes a lot, if you haven't noticed."

Lucille smiled. "You know, I can't say that I haven't. So, you're a Buddhist?"

"Not exactly. I admire Buddha and follow some of his teachings; I admire Jesus and Ghandi and follow some of their teachings too."

"So you are a follower of Christ?"

"I guess, technically speaking, but I wouldn't really call myself a Christian."

"And why is that?"

"For one, I don't like labels. For another, I don't like identifying myself with a lot of what Christianity has done over the centuries and what a lot of fundamentalists think now. In a lot of ways it's more like a political tool and a privileged social status than a religion, let a lone a spirituality."

"Oh, you're one of those people." She squelched a laugh.

Todd sighed. "Look, I respect your beliefs, but please don't try to 'save' me. I'm sure you can understand the futility at this point anyway, right?"

"Futility? Oh, I don't think so. And I'm not judging you … at least not in the way you think. Although I must admit it is always a little frustrating for me to see so many young folks getting lost in the semantics and the worldly misconstructions of things."

"You know that's a type of blame shifting, right? Denying that people who embrace the label and basic characteristics of a group belong to it because you don't like what they do. That way you can keep your own status unquestioned, viewing it as special and moral, even though the same principle isn't applied to other groups. And as far as the futility goes, you know that part in the Bible where it says that you can be forgiven for sinning against the Father and the Son, but not the Holy Spirit? Well, in the initiation I had to reject them all, okay? There's nothing you or I can do to change that."

Lucille rested her chin on her fist, her elbow on the table."You know, I think I may have a surprise for you as well. Not all Nuns are as narrow-minded as you seem to think, even if we do embrace the label. For example, I don't believe that one should ever place the written words of men, inspired though they may be, above the words of God in one's heart and soul. In fact, my own experience with Christ and the Holy Spirit has taught me that there is no such thing as a lost cause or a last chance. Sometimes even in Hell itself. Have you even tried? Have you prayed since your contract was revoked?"

"Not prayed, no."

"Well, you should give it a go, alright? It can't hurt to try, can it?"

"I … I don't know. Maybe."

"Todd, I'm going to tell you something, and I'm only doing it because I can see that you need it so much." She raised an unblemished right palm. "I was marked too, by Pepito, just like you."

"But-"

"God forgave me. Just recently, when I finally regained the courage and hope to truly open my heart back up to him." A tear ran down her cheek as she reached out to lay her hand upon his own. "It's never too late, and he will guide you if you ask him. You don't have to have all the answers or trust the world of men."

He looked down at their hands as his own eyes felt the sting of moisture, then back up into her own. "Thank you."

She nodded and squeezed his hand. "It will be harder for you, the way it was for Roe, because of Pepito … because you love him. And you'll have to leave him behind, give him up to the fate he was always born to."

"If it's not too late for us, why can't he choose too? Why does it have to be predestined for him? That's not very fair."

"He's not human, Todd. Not completely, and the part of him that is has no chance against the part of him that's demon."

"How can you know that? That the human part can't win, I mean? Or that the demon part is inherently evil when demons were just angels to begin with?" He took his hand back carefully. "Because I think I've seen both sides, and I think he … I know he's not all evil. I know he cares about me. And I think he can get better. I'm just not sure that he has enough time."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure that you have seen both sides, not fully. He presents himself selectively because subterfuge works to his advantage in nearly all of his endeavors, especially with you."

"But how can you know that? Didn't you just say I don't have to trust human words or stereotypes."

"Yes, but … I do know this about Pepito. I know because of what he did to me, how he went about getting my soul."

Lucille looked at him and he could tell that she knew how badly he wanted to know, wanted her story so he could gauge for himself.

"If I tell you this, you have to give me your word that you won't tell anyone. It's very personal, and it … well, I myself have sworn to tell no one. But I think you need to hear it, and for your soul I will risk it."

"I give my word," he said, "No one else will know. But I understand if you can't. Very well, actually."

"No. You need to know." She paused to take a long drink of her tea. When she sat the cup back down on its saucer, it clanked in a gentle rhythm because her hand was shaking. "It started with the dreams and then longing looks, lingering touches."

"Dr-dreams?" Todd felt as if his blood ran cold, shocking his heart almost painfully. His next words were almost a whisper. "What kind of dreams?"

She meet his eyes and her own widened. "You already know, don't you?"

Gripping the cloth napkin in his lap with both hands, he fidgeted with unstable hands, at times pulling at both sides as if he could rip it in half.

When he didn't answer, she nodded and went on. "Sick, twisted, filthy dreams about … pain and pleasure and fear and control, when it really comes down to it. Manipulative dreams. Then longing looks, touches. And then, finally, he came to me in the dead of night; tried to have his way with me when we were alone. I pushed him away, but he said that if I refused him, he would send me to the camps and I … I wasn't strong enough. I fell. And it hurt. It hurt so much more than the dreams. It didn't seem possible until that moment, but both spiritually and physically … it hurt."

She stood up and lifted her shirt, revealing scars on her side that had obviously once been deep claw marks. Letting the fabric drop back down after hearing Todd gasp, she removed one of the light scarfs she always seem to be wearing. There was another scar around her neck, with smaller scars throughout it that looked like she'd tried to use a piece of bared wire as a choker. "That's about all I feel comfortable sharing, but I'm sure you get the point. There was … a lot of blood. He likes blood." She sat back down and adjusted her scarf. "So, afterward, I felt immediate regret; I had sold myself so cheaply. I cried. And do you know what he did? He laughed. Said I shouldn't take it so personally, that he had only done it for his mother. I couldn't be trusted here with her unless I belonged to him. He said that he had done the both of us a favor and that I should be grateful, but if I ever breathed a word to Roe, I would regret it deeply. He said that it's one of his favorite ways to convince 'hard to get' cases."

"I ... Lucille, I'm so ... " Sick. He felt really, really sick and hollow. "I'm so sorry. That's ..."

"It's terrible and unjust, I know." This time she forced a smile. "I never did tell Rosemary, as much for her sake as my own, but now I'm telling you, Todd, because it's not too late for you. You can still resist him, and that's just what you must do. Learn from my mistakes. The nightmares are your personal struggle with the forces of Hell. Every good Christian has to deal with them. The only reason to worry is when they stop. Evil never sleeps. It never gives up. When they stop, it's because they've got you."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around himself, surprised to note that his whole body seem to be subtly shaking like a train rail. The engine that was causing the trimmers was still off in the distance, he could tell. It didn't seem real just yet, and he was deeply dreading its arrival. "What do I do?"

"You pray, Todd, like I told you. And you resist them, no matter what they offer, what they threaten or even what they actually do to you. You don't give in and you don't lose faith. I know it's not easy when evil takes a particular interest in you, but it's the only way." He nodded slowly and a few moments passed in painful quiet until Lucille spoke again, sadly. "You have to try your best to forget about your feelings for Pepito. I know it hurts and it's not in your nature to give up on people, but it's necessary. You can't take the good part of him too seriously."

Todd looked back up at her with tears in his eyes. "It's really not real? All this time it's just been a lie?" He felt so conflicted and confused. What he knew of Pepito wouldn't quite let him believe it, but Lucille's story seemed to confirm it.

"This is the hard part, dear. I think that perhaps it is real. I think it's possible that he does love you. The human part of him does at least, but that's the whole problem. The demon is disgusted by those feelings of legitimate affection, so it will fight them tooth and nail. It will work to turn every ounce of caring and attachment inside-out until all that's left of it is a festering, painful, ruined lie. And spiritually, demons are stronger than humans. The Beast within him needs the man for now, needs his honest emotions to be a truly good liar itself, but the two cannot be at peace and that time is fast approaching when it will not longer need the good that is in him. And its first order of business will likely be to destroy everything that feeds that part. Those dreams that he sends you, they're not all pleasant, are they?"

He shook his head again, feeling the pull of every muscle in his neck.

"That's because the demon is already busy corrupting his love for you. His caring is proportionate to its hate. If you do go to Hell, the Pepito that greets you will not be the one who loves you now. It will be the one that loves your suffering; the one that is preparing that soul-wrenching torture. And it will use you to destroy any remnant of the Pepito that you love."

They sat there for a long time with Todd trying to get it all to sink into his brain, but it seemed to have erected a strong force field to protect itself. He knew it was shock and that it would pass, but he was terrified of that moment that felt like it might just ripe the world apart like an old poster from a bedroom wall. It wouldn't leave anything in its wake, except maybe a few pieces still held on by missed tape, a white and dead landscape of nothing, with only a few dying scraps left to mourn for it. And when they passed on as well, it would be a mercy.

"Here." Lucille passed him a crumpet. "Eating something will make you feel a little better." She smiled when he took it numbly. "And remember, in Heaven, the saved won't remember the damned. You'll only remember the good in life then. Only good memories and good people. The pain won't last that long."

"Lucille, I think …." He put down the crumpet, uneaten, as he shuffled to his feet, thankful that his legs seemed willing to support him in light of the situation. "I think I need to be excused."

"Of course-"

He barely heard the accent leave her mouth before he was running across the yard, back to the house and into his suite. Slamming the door behind him, he leaned against it for a good five minutes, breathing hard, before his hand twisted the lock. It took some effort, but he forced himself to move, to unplug the land line phone in his bedroom and turn off the one-way cell phone that he had been supplied with. After that he turned off all the lights and crawled into bed, even though it was only midday. He just felt so lethargic, like he could sleep forever and never think about real life again, but try as he might merciful sleep would not come. So he lay there for hours, staring blankly at the wall until a harsh sob finally worked its way up and out of his throat and a flood of tears came. He sat up and crawled over to the bedside table to grab a couple tissue papers, making a valiant and practiced attempt to control his breathing enough that he wouldn't have a full blown panic attack.

"G-god, wh-yy?" His chest ached with the force of his labored breath and fast beating heart, and his words were a dry, horse, stuttered mess as he tried to fit them in between the sobs that clenched his gut. Still, it felt good to get them out. Forcing deep and slow breaths in and out, he finally found the ability to whisper a few sentences before he knew the crying would pick back up again. "Why? Why did I have to know him? I … God … Dear God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please … forgive me … show me the truth, help me to help myself, if that's possible. And if it's not … I still love you. I didn't mean what I said. And I'm sorry … I'm sorry that I still love him too."


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Drama, kissing, more mentions of sexual abuse

Smiling when he finally heard the lock of the door click out of place, Pepito abandoned the book that he had been reading on Todd's coffee table, looking up to see his back as he closed the door behind him haphazardly with full hands. Although it wasn't with the accuracy of spiritual touch, and certainly not that of a medical scanner, he could tell already that his aura had improved a great deal, maybe near the point that it would have been at before the rape. Even though he knew Todd wouldn't appreciate it, he was still glad, overall, that he had marked him. His soul was once again clean and shiny, healthy, but he now had no chance at being invaded and exploited by that vile parasite of a god.

When Todd finally turned around, his eyes widened and he pressed his back hard against the door, letting the cardboard container and lidded cup, a dinner he had ordered to go from the down the house kitchen, fall to the floor. "Ah!"

His smiled widened some. "Hello, Todd."

"P-peito? What. What are you ..." Todd shook his head as his body untensed some, slumping against the door before noticing the mess at his feet. Luckily his salad wraps were still safe in their container, but he was quickly loosing his raspberry tea to the floor, so he bent down quickly to retrieve it all before looking back to his uninvited guest, who was sporting short, curly red locks. "Why do you have red hair? And why are you here?"

Pepito raised a brow, then stole a quick glance of his reflection in the face of his watch. "Heh. It did feel as though I was missing something." When Todd only looked more confused, he closed his eyes, reasserting the glamor that shifted his face into that of a maid that regularly worked that floor by the name of Alex. He dropped it again, this time the hair as well, when Todd gasped. Pepito shrugged. "Father finally gave his permission for me to pay a short visit, and what with your so desperately needing your space and all, I figured it might work to my advantage to come incognito. You know, that the element of surprise might lessen the hassle I would otherwise have to endure before getting to speak with you. So, I choose a familiar, unassuming face that no one would question."

"Oh." Todd swallowed a hard lump in his throat and tried not to glare at Pepito as he walked over to the kitchenette, setting his food on the small counter so he could grab some paper towels for the floor. Lucille had said that it would be better if he could avoid Pepito, and provoking him into anger or debate, as much as possible before the final battle. That way he would be less likely to recognize that Todd had sought forgiveness and launch any more attempts to ruin it. Still, it wasn't going to be easy.

"Don't worry, Amigo." Pepito leaned over from the living room side of the counter, his palms flat on its surface. He tilted his head slightly to the side to better examine the displeasure on Todd's face, the tensing of worry lines that he wished weren't there. Of course Todd knew about the requirements for a demon to be able to assume a human's identity. When they were younger he seemed to have thought it was fun before Pepito had explained how it worked. And before he had freaked himself out with the knowledge that 'real demons' could do that too, could be nearly anyone and get so close without a potential victim having any idea. "I didn't acquire his soul just to pay you a visit. I've had it for some time now. So, no guilt or anger, alright? Because I've already got something I need to talk to you about and not that much time to do it in."

Looking back up at him with a forced smile, Todd nodded. "Sure, Pepe. Whatever you want."

Pepito frowned. He knew that extra sweet, upbeat tone. The only time Todd spoke that way was when it was fake and usually sarcastic. He sighed. "So, you're angry anyway. Is it Alex or were you lying last month when you said you weren't upset with me but just needed some space to yourself?" At this point he really didn't know what to think. The claim had sounded genuine enough when Todd had made it, explaining that he thought he needed it to grow back into his own person after feeling like someone's property for so long, first in prison and then in the coven. And even though it had taken him two weeks to finally get Todd on the phone to spell it out for him, he had tried his best to respect it, getting most of his updates from his mother and Marla instead of contacting Todd directly. "Is it just because I'm here?"

After several false starts, Todd gave up on trying to come up with a safe reply and made for the floor beside the door. "It's going to soak into the wood."

Pepito followed him, feeling the frustration of the last four weeks practically seeping out of his pores, setting him on edge. Really, he supposed he had been on edge for a while now. That's why his father had let him come here for a few days. He was too distracted to function as a proper world leader, never mind a proper Antichrist, this time by Todd's absence and what it might mean instead of his presence, and he needed to straighten it out. "So, you wanna tell me what's wrong or am I just supposed to guess?"

When the towels had absorbed most of the liquid, Todd concentrated on the hard wood beneath him, scrubbing with unneeded pressure with the cleaning brush he'd brought. It wasn't possible, really, what Lucille had advised. Not with Pepito being that close and that annoying.

"Todd. I asked you a question."

Grip tightening on the brush handle at the forceful tone, Todd smiled again as he stood up, then shrugged like it was completely trivial. "Oh, I'm sorry, Pepito. Was I being impertinent just then? The answer is 'D': all of the above. 'Kay?"

Pepito sighed again, dejectedly. This was going to take too long to fix. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"You're what?" Todd shot him an incredulous look as he threw the brush into the sink and the towels into the trash.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Alex, I guess, even though I wasn't lying about his soul. And whatever else. I wish you'd tell me, actually."

"Pepito, what are you doing?" Todd crossed his arms over his chest, offended for both himself and strangely for Pepito as well. "You don't do appeasing, fake apologies. So stop it."

"Very well." He managed a small smile and nod of his head. "I'll be more than happy to cut through the bullshit if you will. I was going to say that I won't be here for long and that I'll still honor your wishes about my contacting you, but if that's not what this is really all about I don't see the point."

"Why does it matter what the point is? Why can't it ever be enough that it's just what I want right now?"

"Just for right now?"

Todd nodded slowly at the softer words, feeling eyes sting a little. "Just a little while longer."

"It matters because I can't stay focused like this when I know there's something you're not telling me. And you just admitted it a moment ago, that you were lying then."

"Not lying. Just exaggerating."

"About what? I really need to know. You said you had forgiven me."

"I have, for taking my soul." Todd walked around the counter and Pepito and over to the couch to have a seat on the left end, noting the additional book on his coffee table: 'Job: A Comedy of Justice'.

"Then what?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does. It does to me."

Picking up the book, Todd turned it over to read the back. "I haven't read this one. Any good?"

Pepito let himself fall into the seat next to him, plucking the book from his hands and tossing it back onto the table. "Yes, but don't change the subject. Why do you keep doing that?"

"You first. Why are you here. You said you had to tell me something."

"Yes, well, more like ask you something."

Todd raised his brow, signaling him to go on.

Looking down at the ornate golden rug under their feet, Pepito bit the inside of his gum with his canines. This was decidedly not the way he had wanted to approach this conversation. "Do you remember the first time I kissed you?"

"What?"

"We were what, eleven? You were sleeping over, and we were on the fold-out couch in the living room. You said 'good night' and then gave me the oddest look when I kissed your cheek. I thought for sure that you would ask to go home, so I told you that it was force of habit from spending the past few weeks in Mexico."

Todd rolled his eyes at the memory, confused about what this had to do with anything anymore.

"And you said, of course, that doesn't happen between two guys in Mexico. I told you that was true, with the exception of very close family, and that that's how I thought of you. I still remember how the look in your eyes changed then, before you hugged me and kissed me back."

"No one had ever _wanted_ to be my family before. But it was a lie, wasn't it?" One corner of Todd's lips turned up in a half smile, but fell just as quickly as he mentally reprimanded himself. He couldn't do this; couldn't let Pepito suck him in again. He would undo all of the progress he'd worked so hard at in making himself accept the reality of the situation and their relationship. In the end, it would just hurt even more.

"No. I suppose you could call it a cover-up or even an excuse, but I meant it. I meant it when I said you could share my family, and you said that would be nice."

"Does this little reminder have a point?"

"Yes it does, in fact. Does your attitude problem?"

"Yes."

"Then do tell, darling."

"Don't call me 'darling'."

"Why not?" No answer, but a bad sign all on its own, especially for the prospects what he had been planning to ask. It was odd too how Todd was going back and forth like an emotional pendulum. He was obviously conflicted about something. "It's not going to work this way. Do you want me to keep guessing?"

Todd turned away to stare at the large window to his left, his back facing Pepito as he held back tears. This was so ridiculous! Why was he even letting this hurt him? Why hadn't he seen it coming?

"Okay. Guessing it is." Pepito stretched out his legs on coffee table, getting comfortable for the long haul. "I know that not being able to come and go as you please here isn't making you very happy."

"That's an understatement."

"So that's it? No? Is it the work camp thing again?" Pepito huffed when there was only silence. "You know, it'd be nice if you'd throw me a clue here. I know you don't want me to read your mind."

Todd let out a breath deep enough to blow long bangs out of his face. Either of those reasons, or one of about ten others he could think of off the top of his head, would have been good enough to explain his behavior. Lucille had warned him not to confront Pepito with the real problem, or rather the current problem that was upsetting him because they were all real and quite important, but she had never really been friends with him. She had been relieved, if only for a few moments, when she had learned that the dreams hadn't been a product of her own sinful imagination. Everything had clicked for her. It had made sense.

It wasn't working that way for him because at least some of those dreams could have been his own. Knowing that they were implanted made it worse and not better because knowing they were artificial meant that he no longer knew how much of what he felt as a result was real. He wiped away a lone tear with the sleeve of his shirt just as he felt Pepito shift to face his back, a hand landing gently, hesitantly on his shoulder. "Come on, Amigo. Please."

Pepito frowned when he heard Todd emit a small, derisive laugh, eyes widening as he actually turned to face him, arms wrapping him in a tight embrace as a leg moved over his own to straddle him and slightly chapped lips meet his own more forcefully than he would have ever expected from Todd. Alarm bells were ringing in the back of his mind, telling him to stop, but this time he knew that it actually was Todd because he had made a habit of reading his aura since the time that he had wasted his first confession of being in love on the fake shower Todd. Plus, this was the first real kiss they had shared since that drunken night in early college and he didn't want to turn it down. So, when he felt Todd's tongue brush along his bottom lip, he gladly complied with his apparent wish to deepen the kiss.

One of Pepito's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer as the one that had been on his shoulder crept into his hair, and Todd nearly lost control of the kiss. Flashes of the better dreams sparked in his mind, heating his blood and clouding his judgment, forcing him to admit once again that a part of him wanted this to be real. After a moment that was really much too long, he pulled back.

"Is this want you want? T-then, just take it." After nearly chocking on the last words, his voice lowered to just above a whisper as the mental flood gate holding back his tears seemed to snap like a fragile twig. "Because it's the only thing I have left that you haven't taken already, right? At least not personally."

Those words hit Pepito in the gut like a punch from a heavy weight boxer, twisting his stomach in knots with a physical pain that made him wince. His hand moved down to cup Todd's cheek, tilting his face so he could look into his eyes. "Todd, what-"

"Lucille told me what you did to her."

Pepito lips curved in some, his brow creasing. What the hell did that have to do with anything? "Uh, yeah, but that was almost a year ago. And it was just one time. There weren't any feelings ... any romantic ones involved." Besides, it wasn't as if Todd didn't know how promiscuous he had been since the beginning of high school, and he had never complained about his relationship with Marla. Was this his way of saying that he wanted him all to himself?

Retracting his arms, Todd pushed himself out of Pepito's grip with a huff. "I'm talking about the dreams, Pepito."

"I don't know what you mean." Oh shit, shit, shit.

"The _dreams_. You know, the ones that you've been sending me for the past month?"

"How did you-"

"Lucille told me that you sent them to her too." He knew that he shouldn't have said any of it, that he was breaking his promise to Lucille right now and that the repercussions of this were not going to be good. But he needed them all the same. He needed some kind of reaction: a confirmation, an explanation, maybe even some closure because it was damn hard trying to end and move on from a such a long-term attachment from only one side, when the other person still thought things were okay.

"Wait. She said I sent her dreams? Seriously?" He cringed when Todd shot him a deadly glare that clearly said he meant business. If that revelation hadn't come as such a shock, he might have been a little afraid that he would actually hit him. Instead, he sat up more rigidly, chemical anger burning through his veins. "What else did she say?"

"Are you really still pretending? Because that's not going to make it any easier."

"I'm not pretending, Todd. What did she say?"

"Fine," he said, words biting,"She said that she had the dreams-and I swear to God, you'd better not deny any knowledge of them again-for months before she was finally approached by you. That you admitted to manipulating her so that she'd think that she wanted you; so that by the time you came to her she would be putty in your hands. But it didn't work. When she said no, you said it was sleeping with you, belonging to you, or the camps. On top of that ..." His voice broke and he trailed off.

"What?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"Todd..." Pepito reached out a hand, but retracted it, placing it back at his side, when Todd shifted away. The look on his face was falling from anger to something much worse. He looked like someone had smashed his heart with a sledge hammer.

"On top of that, the experience was so violent that she hasn't been interested in sex again at all since then. Even ... even just being with herself gives her flashbacks. She said you said it was punishment for making you threaten her; that most people just gave in after the dreams." Todd crossed his arms over his chest again to make sure that he wouldn't find a better employment for them, like around Pepito's neck, squeezing.

Pepito shook his head, not knowing whether he should be more confused or angry. "That ... is not quite the way I remember it going down. She came to me. And she didn't need any kind of prolonged invitation ... or get one for that matter. I never sent her any dreams. Our encounter may have been a little on the violent side, but that's what she said she wanted. The whole thing was ... well it was weird, but she said that she needed it to get over the brainwashing that she had undergone in Christianity." He shrugged. "A lot of people need some kind of reprogramming after they leave it."

"She has a scar on her side that looks like ... I can't even tell you what it looks like. Are you saying that she lied about it? That she did that to herself?"

"I don't know, Amigo. I'm saying that what she told you isn't what happened. But she knew about the dreams?"

"I told her. I had to tell somebody. It was driving me crazy. She instantly knew you were behind them; told me that I should be cautious; that it's what you do to people who 'play hard to get' with their souls or something, and that sometimes ... sometimes they go straight to Hell from there." That was a slight revision of the events, but he figured it would be better for Lucille if Pepito thought that he had been the one to bring it up first.

Pepito rested his forehead in his hand, trying hard to remember that he wasn't angry with Todd. There were bits of truth in there, but most of it was new knowledge to him. He wouldn't be surprised if it was all something that Lucille had heard since his dark demeanor did seem to lean itself to rumors and exaggerations of truth, but her description of their shared activities didn't add up. He didn't know why she would make it up, other than to try to keep Todd away from him in some misguided attempt to save his soul. But that was no excuse for such treacherous behavior.

"Something isn't right. Come on." He got to his feet with swiftness that was fueled by barely suppressed rage and reached back to take Todd's hand, pulling him along.

Todd stumbled forward, overly aware of Pepito's very tight grip on his hand. "Pepito, wait! I-I told her I wouldn't tell you what she told me! I promised."

"Oh, I wonder why she made you promise that, don't you?"

"Maybe because she's afraid of what you might do? She said you told her not to tell." When he received no response, Todd grabbed onto the door frame of his quarters, digging his feet into the floor as best he could, holding up their progress until Pepito looked back in frustration. "She only told me to help me, Pepito, and she knew she was risking her own safety for mine. So, if you really care about me, don't hurt her, alright? Please?"

Pepito sighed. Todd looked on the brink of crying again, and he didn't need that. He loosened his grip slightly. "Fine, Amigo. I won't harm her, though I think that her actions have warranted it."

"Thank you." Letting go of the wall, Todd returned the lessened grasp on his hand, allowing himself to be pulled along down the hallway, though a thick wire seemed to be coiling tighter and tighter in his stomach, and he still felt like he had betrayed Lucille.

When they entered Pepito's mother's room, after he had given it three particularly hard knocks, she looked up from the board game that she and Lucille were playing in her den, smiling at him and Todd. "Oh, Pepe, I didn't know you were in town, honey!" She got up to give him a crushing hug.

"Yes, Father finally allowed me a short visit." He returned the hug stiffly with one arm, all the time glaring over her shoulder at Lucille, who seemed to squirm a little under his gaze.

Rosemary clicked her tongue as she stood back to give Pepito a weary look. "Your father allowed you? Pepito, you're a grown man. I don't understand why you let him exert so much control over you."

"Yes, you do, Mother. It's the same reason that the coven members let me exert so much control." Except it wasn't. Not religious loyalty by itself anyway. There was also the standing threat in which Todd would be tortured in the Pits of Hell if he stepped too far out of line with him, but he could only imagine what kind of wonders that information would do for his parents' relationship. If the situation hadn't been so fucked up he might have laughed at himself for such childish thoughts. Most of the time he accepted that his parents were divorced by Earth's standards and never really married by Hell's, but every now and then he found himself falling into the belief that they would somehow work things out. Of course, this probably had a lot to do with the fact that they had abruptly announced the already filed divorce to him Winter Break of his Freshman year in college and that neither one of them had ever bothered to give him a reasonable explanation.

"So, he's your father, your boss and your god all wrapped into one?" She grimaced as she sat back down on the sofa. "It's just like some twisted messianic Jim Jones cult! And you weren't quite so obedient when you were young."

Now it was his turn to grimace. If she only knew the half of it ... well, that would definitely be bad for their relationship. "When I was young I didn't fully understand or appreciate the gravity of my position. And even then, I knew when to back down. I don't think either one of you knows what it's like to raise a normal teenager."

"Oh, you." She waved away his statement. "You weren't that abnormal, Pepe. Now, would you two care to join us for a round of scrabble? Todd has only got better since you left, you know."

"Uh, no, thank you, Mother. Not right now. I ... I need to speak with Lucille. Immediately."

"What ever for, Pepito?" Lucille looked back and forth between Pepito and Todd, eyes lingering on their clasped hands, on the way Todd didn't appear to want to be there, on his reddened, watery eyes. She coughed nervously. "Roe, I'll ... I'll be right back, dear."

When Lucille stood, Rosemary quickly followed her example. "Pepito, what is this about? Surely anything you need to speak to Lucille about can be said in front of me."

He shook his head. "I doubt you'd want to hear it, or that she would want you to either, but if you wish it, then be my guest."

"No!" Lucille insisted, "Rosemary, it's fine. You just wait right here. I'm sure that it's ... nothing."

Pepito's eyes narrowed at her words. "You know what? I think that you should hear this, Mother. Let me be the first to say that I'm sorry if it comes as a shock, but about a year ago Lucille and I spent a rather unspecial night together." He paused to let that sink in. "Unfortunately, we seem to have very different interpretations of what actually took place and how."

Lucille's eyes shot to Todd, who had purposefully dropped into the background of the awkward situation, avoiding Rosemary's own that were seeking her out. "You told him."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"That's enough, Todd. Let me handle this." Pepito made a cutting motion with his hand before looking back to her. "You lied to him about what happened between the two of us. Why?"

"I ... I'm sorry, but I didn't lie. And I won't lie now. I won't let you take his soul again or hurt him the way you did me."

"Alright, that's it."

"Pepito, stop!" Todd grabbed a hold of his upper arm as he started to take a step toward Lucille. He could feel the smoldering, spiritual heat from Pepito's body through the layer of cotton that covered the arm. "You said you wouldn't hurt her!"

"That was before I knew she was going to lie to my face! Lucille, I have tolerated your presence here because my mother enjoys your company, but I will not stand idly by while you plant seeds of mistrust and falsehood within my very house. So this is it. Tell me the truth right now or suffer the consequences."

Lucille shook her head. "I am telling you the truth! Why would I lie? I certainly don't have anything to gain from it!"

Pepito looked back and forth between Lucille and his mother, noting that the second seemed to be just as confused about the whole matter as himself. At least she hadn't been a part of it. "Very well. Come here."

"Pepito ..."

"I'm not going to hurt her, Todd. Not yet. But I am going to get to the bottom of this, and I am going to do it right now." He felt Todd finally let go of his arm as Lucille did as he ordered, stepping up to him with admirable courage, considering what she claimed to believe him more than capable of. She closed her eyes as he touched her forehead to his palm, easily forcing a connection between their minds.

A tear rolled down Todd's cheek as he watched. No matter how this turned out, it wasn't going to end well.

"Todd, what ... what's this all about?" Rosemary's voice shook as she wrapped an arm around his trembling form.

"Y-you really don't want to know, Miss Reilly." There was no way that he could tell her. The mere thought of it might break her heart.

Suddenly, Pepito broke free of Lucille, free of the memories that he didn't share, but which seemed to soak into his soul like blood into clean linen. He backed up, nearly tripping over his own feet to get away from her. "She's not lying. But ... that never happened. I didn't ... it doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't make sense, sweetheart?" Rosemary pleaded. She started in his direction, but he backed up further, holding out upturned hands to ward her off. "Lu?"

Lucille looked up, removing her gaze from the floor, and looked at Pepito almost sympathetically. "I think ... I think I may understand. You don't remember it, Pepito, because it ... it wasn't you, not exactly. Perhaps it was someone else. Someone ... who lies within?"

Pepito swallowed thickly. "That's not possible. He ... my father would never do anything like that."

"Roe," Lucille looked to her with sad eyes, "I think it's time you told him the truth."

"The truth? Mother, what is she talking about?"

Taking a deep breath and accidentally sniffling along with it, Rosemary met his gaze, looking as though she was finally starting to get the picture and not liking it one bit. "Pepito, I-we-your father and I-we lied to you ... about how you were conceived, about how we meet, about everything to do with the beginning. We ... we didn't meet on a cruise. We ... I was married before ... to an actor. We moved into the Bram in New York, next to Mini and Roman Castovette. They were the leaders of a Satanic coven, and Guy, my husband, he made a deal with them without my knowing. He helped them drug me and ..."

"No." Pepito shook his head, feeling an insane urge to rip his ears from his head to safeguard his brain form anything else that might attempt to crawl in through them. "No, that, that can't be true."

"Yes, sweety. I'm sorry. The cruise that we told you we meet on, it was just one of the visions I had during the rite ... during the rape. When you were born, they took you, tried to make it look like you died, but I found you. And I loved you because even if you were his, you were mine too. But I didn't love Guy anymore, and your father ... well, he decided that ... he said that he had developed feelings for me. He said that if I was going to be a Christian influence in your life, then you needed him as well. I didn't want to give you to them, to him, all by yourself, so I let him make me forget all about Guy, about the coven, about the ... about how you were really conceived. For a long time, even after I found out again about him, about you, I didn't remember how it had all happened."

"Why ... Mom, you should have told me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"For a long time I didn't remember, and by the time I did, it was too late. Those memories felt a world away, as though they had happened to someone else. You already loved him, you were already initiated and he seemed to love you too. I ... I didn't want to hurt you."

"But you had to leave him."

"Yes. After you graduated, I just couldn't live with him, alone with him like that, with that knowledge."

Pepito nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Honey, it's not your fault. It was never your fault."

"You stayed for me." He backed up against the wall to keep her at a distance when she came forward to hug him. "Don't. I ... I need to be alone, to think." He started for the door, only looking back to say one thing before fleeing into the hall. "I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Job: A Comedy of Justice is written and owned by Robert Heinlein.
> 
> -The back story about Rosemary being married before, drugged by the New York Coven, raped by Satan and choosing to raise her baby anyway is from Rosemary's Baby (They really did "meet" on a curse in her hallucination during the rape too) . The rest, the part where Satan puts a spell on her and they get married, is partly inspired by Son of Rosemary.


	29. Chapter 29

After Pepito fled the room the only sounds were Rosemary's sniffling and Lucille's shushing endeavors. Todd watched them for a long moment, sitting on the sofa together, wrapped in each other's arms, through blurry, tear-soaked vision. He could feel his breath coming too fast again, but years of practice had helped him to gain enough control to avoid panic attacks … usually. He had been right about the results of this confrontation: it had ended badly, unavoidably so. But the truth hadn't been either of the things that he had been ready for. It had left his mind racing, and dragging his soul behind it, with relief and hope, as well as horror, disappointment, pity and guilt. It was an unhealthy feeling, like Red Bull spiked with vodka. He had never understood why some people mixed uppers and downers.

"Hey, mind if I- oh, shit!" Edgar's causal tone changed as he dropped his hand back to his side from where he had been about to knock upon the frame of the open door, and he picked up the pace, hurrying over to where Todd still stood. "What happened? Rosemary?"

"Oh, Edgar, don't worry about it. It's … it's nothing. Just a little family trifle." She dabbed under her eyes with a tissue paper, then folded the paper methodically and placed it in her lap, under her hands.

"Family? Which one?" He looked at Todd. "Pepito?"

Rosemary nodded. "It's just, it's personal, dear. You understand."

"The hell I do. What did he do now?"

"Nothing." Todd said the word slowly, softly, but in the deadening silence, it still rang clearly through the room. " _He_ didn't do anything."

Lucille shook her head, pulling away from Rosemary a little. "Todd, he's evil. Whether he knows it or not, it's true."

"But you said ... before you said that the part of him that did those things was the demonic part of him. And now you think it was really his father, right? Why is that?

"It's just ... it was ... it makes more sense biblically, and it was ... something in his eyes maybe. But either one could still be true." She seemed to be at a loss herself, but got over it quickly enough. "One of them has to be, and when it really comes down to it, it doesn't make much of a practical difference."

In a way she was right, of course, because the effect was largely the same, and either way the source of evil was a part of Pepito that had come from his father. The only difference was how long it had been there, but that difference felt important in a way that he couldn't properly explain to someone who wasn't so emotionally invested in the part of Pepito that wasn't evil. And he realized that he was invested, possibly irrevocably so. That was probably why he hadn't thought of the indwelling angle himself until now: his self-protection required that he push Pepito away and accept the most horrible possibility in order to save himself, both of them really, even more pain latter. It had been hard enough trying to squash out the idea that Pepito's human half could be salvaged. And that was the heart of the matter really: if there was a part of Pepito that was innocent and well-meaning when it came to the worst of the evil, then that part didn't deserve what was coming. If there was a part of Pepito that really loved him, then he wanted, needed, to at least try to help him.

"Where are you going?" The shrill words came out of Lucille's mouth, a near scream, as she jumped to her feet when she saw that Todd was slowly backing out of the room.

"I'm … I'm just gonna go and-"

"And what! Tell him you forgive him?" She stormed passed Edgar, nearly knocking him down in the process. "You can't do it!"

"No, _you_ can't do it, and that's okay. It's understandable. And I … I don't know if I can either really; not yet. But you said it yourself: it wasn't Pepito who did those things. When it comes down to it, yes, there is a part of him that is evil, but there's also a part that's not. I just need to talk to him."

"You poor, poor child." This time Lucille looked to Edgar. "I think he's going into denial again. This is exactly why I didn't tell him the more biblical view of Pepito's condition when it occurred to me. He's grasping at straws."

"Todd, Pepito is bad, okay? You need to stay away from him. What about your soul? What about all your progress?" Edgar rolled his eyes as his voiced switched from flat to irritated. "I wish someone would tell me what-"

"My soul is okay now. And you know, if anything, I think this might actually make it better."

"Please, you can't be-" Lucille started toward him, but Rosemary latched onto her wrist, pulling her back.

"Stop, Lu," she said, "He's right. If it wasn't always a part of Pepito, it can't be the core of who he is. If he doesn't remember what it does, or causes him to do, it can't even be that integrated. And just think about his reaction. He's never been this open to-"

"To conversion?"

"To questioning."

" Are you serious? You two, you think you can convert the Antichrist to Christianity? It's a contradiction, it's blasphemy, it's against God's plan. There has to be an Apocalypses so that believers can receive the Kingdom of Heaven. It can't be changed and it shouldn't be."

"Wait," Edgar tried again, only to be drowned out by Lucille again.

"You're both just letting personal attachments blind you to the truth about both Pepito and the Gospel. You're too attached to him as a person."

"He _is_ a person: a person you're all too willing to sacrifice, along with billions of other mostly innocent people, for your own personal, twisted sense of happiness." At his side, Todd's hand uncurled from the fist he was making as some of the heat left his voice. "I know it's easier for you if you can pretend he's not, just like it's easier for him with people in the work camp and easier for nearly everyone else with the androids. But that's how real cruelty starts; that's how genocide and mass murder are justified."

She laughed bitterly. "If you think that the Grace of God is twisted, you're soul most definitely isn't 'fine'. You've got a long way to go before you reach salvation, Todd, and not a lot of time to get there in. Making a pit stop at the Antichrist Inn is going to slow you down at least, even if it doesn't lead you completely in the wrong direction. Do you think you can afford that?"

He sighed. "I can't do this right now."

"What?"

"This," Todd raised his arms to indicated the room, the situation, "this is what I can't afford: fear, doubt and over-thinking every horrible angle until I'm paralyzed with indecision about something so simple, and basic and human."

"You know what that sounds like to me?" Edgar reached out to grab his arm, but missed when he suddenly moved further back. "Like a sad rationalization for the codependency you've got for a demon that doesn't care if he drags you down with him to Hell. No, strike that. He does care: he wants to! If you remember correctly, this is the same kind of thinking that led to you selling you soul to him last time. And I seriously doubt you're allowed any more take-backs."

"What about this situation would make me sell my soul?"

"I'm sure he'll think of something."

"He won't and I won't, and I don't think I can sell my soul again anyway. Okay?"

"Yeah, wonderful, except selling your soul isn't the only way to get damned. I sure as hell never struck up a bargain when I was alive. I was faithful, went to church every Sunday, and look at me now! You know where I've spent the last couple decades? If you're as close as Miss Miraculously Saved from Damnation over here thinks you are, you'd better cool it!" An almost accusing finger was pointed at Lucille at Edgar's last words, but he didn't seem to mind when she firmly pressed his hand back down by his side, her features a little scrunched.

"Edgar, that's absurd," said Todd. "Why does it always just boil down to being saved or damned? Real morality isn't just a set of arbitrary, and often contradictory, rules that are enforced by punishment and reward. Its authority isn't based on what a powerful being, even a creator, says, much less what a book written by power-seeking men, who claimed to know the will of such a being, said. Its basis is compassion and helping and not harming other people and other living things; the basis is spiritual unity and love. Without that we wouldn't have been able to evolve and survive as complex, conscious social animals. It's what makes us moral beings. I personally choose to call this force God, but God is only good because I define him or her that way, not the other way around. You can't make something good or bad just by slapping the name of God on it. And my God doesn't control people through fear and threats."

Todd looked down for a moment. It was easy to forget that last part during times like this. Over the last few months he had been more guilty of it that usual, probably because it helped him distance himself from Pepito, which he had badly needed. But now that the other shoe had finally stomped down with crushing force, he felt stronger somehow ... or maybe just resigned. Either way, he felt more himself than he had since the whole Apocalypses mess had started and maybe a little bit more than himself too. "I'm going now. Promise not to sell my soul." As he turned to go, he heard Rosemary call his name with a soft desperation. Reluctantly, he turned back around at the doorway.

"Take this." Taking his clenched hand with her own, she loosened each finger until there was room in his palm for her to pull the necklace from her own neck and press the cross firmly into hand. "Just in case. It's blessed."

His hand closed back around the warm metal and he nodded a sincere thanks before making his way into the hall toward Pepito's room. He tried to keep the others' arguments from doing their damage, but it wasn't as easy he tried to pretend it was. Lucille's he didn't worry about too much. Whether she was right, wrong or somewhere in between, his own conviction was strong now. He was going to live up to his own standards as best he could, come what may. However, Edgar's rang an inner bell of truth deep down. Still, he wasn't just trying to help his victimizer, he told himself. Pepito was a victim as well.

When Todd reached Pepito's office door, he held out his fist to knock, but thought better of it, pushing it open gently instead to see Pepito's head covered by his own arms, which lay crossed on the smooth surface of his desk. "Pepito?" He spoke softly, hesitantly, holding his breath as Pepito raised his head to look at him with glossy eyes. His face was puffy and streaked with tears, which was a jarring sight. Todd hadn't seen him like that since his dog, Woofles, had passed away in high school.

"You shouldn't be here, Todd."

"Of course I should." Todd swallowed hard, attempting to make his voice sound firm and sure. "You've always tried to be there for me, even if you didn't always know how to be."

"This is different." Pepito rose from his desk, walking on wobbly legs to open the door to his quarters as he continued to speak a truth that brutally assaulted the rawness of both his throat and his heart. "Being near me … that's the problem. It's dangerous. I don't think we should see each other anymore. You were right, and I'm sorry that I didn't respect your wishes enough on that."

Todd followed him as soon as he started to move, knowing if he didn't, it would be too late to derail this train of thought. "Oh, come on, Pepito, you can't be-" His words died when Pepito attempted to close the door, forcing him to catch it in his hand to keep them face-to-face.

"I am serious, Todd. I said that I wasn't going to hurt you and I meant it, but I can't ensure that if ... if I can't even ..." His grip on the door that was keeping Todd out failed with his words and composure, and he mentally cursed himself when Todd was able to push it open and come through.

An unsure hand landed softly on Pepito's upper arm, and Todd frowned when it caused him to close his eyes tightly as if the touch was painful. "Pep, listen. I know you. And you have your faults, but you'd never-"

Shrugging off the soft and careful words, Pepito removed Todd's hand from himself almost mechanically. "Amigo, you believed it. I know you did. And maybe I do too. I'm not just me anymore." Backing up until he reached the kitchenette, he let his hands move behind him, at first supporting himself by grabbing the counter top, but then slipping off with little care so that he slumped down against the bar, further and further until he was in a crumpled sitting position.

"I didn't know what to believe. And it wasn't fair of me, to make assumptions without even letting you defend yourself, but it was sort of instinctual emotional self-defense. You know how I can be sometimes, and I ..." Kneeling down, sitting on his knees, in front of Pepito to meet his eyes, Todd felt at a loss. "I don't really understand."

Pepito suddenly had a strong desire to crawl behind the bar and find the highest potency liquor it had to offer, but he knew that it would do no good. If anything, it would make his problems worse. The last thing he needed now was to be even less in control of his behavior. And, as much as he wanted to keep this to himself, Todd deserved to know the truth. "When … over a year ago, when I got shot and made that miraculous recovery? Well, I can't heal a direct shot to the brain alone, you know, because I … kind of need my brain to help with that while my body is still alive. And after it's dead, it's too late and I'd have to have another body. So ..."

"Your father?"

He nodded. "He did it. There was a sort of power transference, so that now … now the Spirit of Satan dwells within me."

"Is the, ah, Spirit of Satan like the Black Flame?" Todd felt his arms encircle his own chest in a protective embrace at the thought that what was inside Pepito had also been inside him.

"It's sort of the core of the Black Flame, which is like, an ocean of Satanic energy, if you want to think of it that way. Our individual souls are essentially still separate, but they're tied more closely together." He explained further at Todd's continued confusion. "A soul is an evolved, individual personification of spirit; spirit is a more general energy or force that animates and drives things. The Black Flame is a grouping of spiritual energy that reflects the essence of Satanism. The core is the sort of, thicker, more dense part that surrounds my father. Does that make sense?"

Todd nodded. "I think so."

Pepito let out a relieved sigh. Normally, he didn't mind long, complicated conversations with Todd, but it was always a little difficult to get the full concept of spiritual things across with only words. Right now, words were all he had, and he wasn't even feeling very sure of them. He was still so tense that his thought processes felt partly stalled. "I have most of his power to do my job here: to transfer the Black Flame as a permanent and binding seal to initiates, to influence the masses so thoroughly and eventually to dispatch the Christ and wage the Final Battle. But that core power is so close to my father and so full of other peoples intents and interpretations; isn't without its own motives, its own personality almost. It-it could have … if my mother-she would never lie about something like that ... Lucille really remembers those things that she told you."

"But you don't. So it had to be him?"

"Yes. Well, the core spirit. Not necessarily his soul. Probably not his soul, but ... damn. I don't even know."

Long moments passed in which Todd said nothing, too lost in the sheer volume of the possible implications of what he had just been told. It was too much really. He was only human. He wasn't sure what it meant, if it was reversible, controllable. But he needed to believe that it was, and so did Pepito. One of the things that he had learned in therapy was that if you didn't believe you could get better, you never would. "But that's … you didn't do it, Pep."

"Todd, I don't remember it because I can't control it. If I can't control it, then … then I'm not safe to be around. And I did send you those dreams, for reasons very similar to what Lucille said. I never wanted to hurt you, but it just seems to keep happening. I-I'm sorry."

"You … you consciously sent them then?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Todd tried his best to still the shaking of his hands, which had found each other in his lap, as several muscles in his legs screamed with a dull stiffness too sudden to be oxygen deprivation. He couldn't have obliged the part of him that wanted to run away if he had wanted to.

Pepito shook his head. "For the same reason I kissed you when I was checking your chakras. It was just supposed to be a little push; just to help you realize how nice it could be to give in to your ... shit - my, fantasies, I guess. And this is fairly common within Satanism, you know. Lust spells."

Sitting down fully to ease the pressure on his legs, Todd swallowed to clear up some of the dryness in his throat. "Yeah, thanks for the psychic roofie, Pepito. So, that was all about just getting me to sleep with you?"

The corner of Pepito's lip turned up in a bittersweet half-smile at the jab and the annoyance that somehow managed to work its way into Todd's too quite voice. They had talked, even argued, about Lust Spells before. He had known very well that Todd basically took a Wiccan-like position on the moral aspects of spell work: anything coercive was a 'no no'. It had given him brief pause when considering Roman's advice about using 'subtle persuasion', but asking permission would have defeated the purpose of subtle. "No. That wasn't even the main reason, really."

"You wanted my soul again? Is it really that easy? Everyone who sleeps with you is just damned?"

"No, that's not- I mean, according to Christianity, anyone who sleeps with anyone they're not married to is damned if they die before seeking forgiveness, right? And human-angel or demon relationships are an abomination. That's what happened in the flood story: Yahweh genocided them because they were 'corrupted' by breeding and interacting with fallen angels. But supposedly after Christ came along, things loosened up a bit. Before that if you were as much as born out of wedlock, you and your descendants were cursed for generations. Now humans who sleep with demons without knowing who and what they really are and seek forgiveness for adultery aren't damned. Even people who know probably still have a chance, but if there are children from the union … well, that's not really the point. It wasn't so you'd be automatically damned." The still confused look on Todd's face made Pepito a little angry. "Look, you don't give yourself enough credit, you don't have enough self-esteem. You're always thinking that there's some ulterior motivation or better explanation for everything positive that happens to you."

"Positive?" His jaw clenched and his head tilted slightly to the right as his hands moved down to the floor, gripping for something that wasn't there as the cold, dead rage from before started to seep back into his system like a winter chill after the hearth fire has died. He knew it was bad, probably irrational too, and tried to control it with deep breaths and refocused compassion. It was enough to make his head spin, like the bipolar nature of his feelings for Pepito from before were all jammed into his head at once, instead of alternating over months, weeks or sometimes days. Forcing his hands back into his lap, he did his best to appear calm and listen to Pepito, who luckily didn't seem to notice the extent of it, over the roaring beat of his own heart in his ears.

"Okay, no. Not entirely in this instance, but whenever people show, or try to show, you affection or that they care about you. Like, with me you've always, always had to go through a methodical check to see if you could find out what my real motives were for … well, everything. No matter how long we'd been friends, it couldn't just be that I like you."

"Pepito, you have tried to get my soul on a fairly regular basis for most of the time that I've actively known you."

Pepito nodded slowly. "I was stupid back then. I didn't realize that I was making it worse; reinforcing that negativity that you always carried around. Not until after you gave me your final answer and I stopped trying and even hoping for your soul, and everything was so much … easier, better between us. And I know my recent efforts were … I broke my promise to you and it wasn't fair. And you were so vulnerable after all you'd been through in that last year. I never would have taken advantage of that before, but I was just so desperate and I couldn't …." He shook his head. "I've never been good at this. Or good for you. And all of this, it's not justification. It's just an explanation, because you asked for one."

"I need more than that."

"I know, but I can't give it to you. If I could undo everything that I've done to you ..."

"Shut up." Pepito looked up at him, a little surprised, but apparently compliant, and Todd let out a deep breath. "That's not what I meant. I mean I need more of an explanation."

Pepito nodded again. Several minutes passed before he spoke. "About what part?"

"Well, I'm still not really clear on the part where you sent me those dreams yet." He looked down at where his right hand was now gripping his left arm, avoiding Pepito's eyes. "So, you thought that I would ... like that? Really?"

"Uh. You seemed to when I was monitoring them."

"Monitoring ... great. But some of those dreams, they were ... well, they were more like nightmares ... a lot more."

At those words, Pepito felt his whole body freeze up, much the way that he wished he mind would instead of rushing straight into what he hoped to Hell they didn't mean. He forced out his own next words, just to keep Todd going and tried hard not to wince afterward in preparation for impact. "How so?"

"You would know, wouldn't you? If you don't know, I don't really want to tell you. I mean, if you sent Lucille dreams without knowing, then you could have done the same with me, right?"

Even though he had just had the same thought, Todd giving it voice still twisted something in his gut. "Todd, what happened?"

"No." Todd shook his head. "I don't think you should know."

"If you have to handle knowing, then there's no reason I shouldn't too. I'm ... it's my-"

"Stop saying that it's your fault! You didn't even know about most of it. Lets just say that I didn't enjoy them all and leave it at that, okay? Not that everything would just be morally fine and dandy if I had," he paused to force a small, reassuring smile "... but I guess we can deal with that later."

Pepito felt the salty water pooling in his eyes yet again when he tried, and failed, to return the smile. "You're far too nice, you know that?"

"You've told me before." Todd patted Pepito's knee before standing. He reached a hand down to help him, but soon gave up when it wasn't taken. Reluctantly, he instead used both hands to pull him up by the biceps. "Come on. There's no use sitting there all night."

When Todd released his arms and instead grabbed and pulled him by the wrist, Pepito tensed, but gave no real resistance as he was led into his bedroom. He stared at his bed, which was freshly made and turned down now, just as it was every other night that he didn't occupy it, with an empty feeling. "I'm not going to be able to sleep."

"I know, but it's really late. You might as well give your body some rest."

"You sound just like my mother." This time he did managed a slight smile as he slipped off his shoes and jacket before laying down on the covered mattress, not bothering with the rest of his outfit.

Todd shrugged. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Good." Pepito frowned, the meager cheer falling easily away when Todd sat beside him on the other side of the bed. "Amigo, you can't stay here."

"Please, don't start that again."

"I have to, especially after what you just told me. It isn't safe. If those nightmares are what happens when I'm on the other side of the continent, think about how much worse it could be when we're side by side in bed. Think about how it ended for Lucille. And you've ... you've already been through more than enough."

"Pep, you know I've always had pretty bad nightmares, especially when I'm stressed. Of course I want them to stop, but they're not going to break my fragile little human mind, okay? Plus, like you said, the dreams can happen no matter how far apart we are. And actually, you being next to me is one of the only things that really cuts down on my nightmares." Even though he thought that Pepito already knew it, he looked away as he said the last sentence, then back to tug on a chain around his neck to pull the golden cross from under his nightshirt. "Besides, your mom gave me this. She said that it's blessed and will keep me safe if it needs to."

"Do you know how to use it?"

"With faith? I think so. I know you don't approve of me doing that-"

"But you will if you need to, if it keeps you safe. Promise?"

"I promise, Pepe."

Pepito nodded, watching Todd take the side of the bed to his right as he focused his energy on their surroundings. Every door in his quarters unlocked at once, then the bedroom and entry door opened wide. Next he made a quick call to his mother's room to let her know what was going on, both so she wouldn't worry and so she'd probably check in on them at some point that night or at least the next morning. Thankfully, she didn't press for many details, though her voice was soft and sympathetic, and the conversation was short.

Pepito scooted down until his head was flat against his pillow and his eyes were fixed on the ceiling. It's whiteness seemed as blank and hollow as he felt, except that behind the blankness inside him, there was also a raging, inverted abyss that wanted badly to crack open all that white, to break the surface calm with a devastating force that would leave behind not even the ruins of sanity. It seemed to build as a nervous tension, attaching itself like an invisible weight to each second that passed. And each of those weights fail with a thud on top of the ceiling in his mind, causing tiny fishers to spread out from the center. He didn't notice that his hands where twitching with the imaginary thuds until Todd's left hand took a hold of his right, forcing it to still.

"Hey, are you alright?"

With a deep exhale, Pepito nodded, even while he gripped the hand in his own with a tight desperation because it had made him forget the seconds and cooled the fire of the abyss. It was still there, of course, biding its time, but the connection was like a mental life preserver. "Do you think we could talk?"

"Uh, sure. About what?"

"Anything." Pepito shrugged. "How about the fact that you hated me an hour ago and now here you are, alone with me in my bed, holding my hand. Any thoughts?"

"You're still my friend, and you need me right now, whether you're willing to admit it or not. And I didn't hate you. I just thought that I needed to distance myself form you." He turned his head to look into Pepito's eyes. "I don't want to. I never really wanted to, but what Lucille said was … well, I should have taken it with a big grain of salt. Like, sea salt instead of table." He smiled when Pepito hummed a small laugh. "I'm sorry. You know I have a tendency to just sort of believe the worst possible thing sometimes. It's a bad filter that I picked up in childhood."

Pepito returned the smile, but his was sad. "This time it wasn't far from the truth."

"It was far enough." Todd squeezed his hand. "I am still mad about the creepy lust spell, but there's no point in talking about that until you stop blaming yourself for the bigger stuff that you didn't do."

"Even if it isn't my fault, it's still my responsibility, Amigo, because I should be able to control it. Fault and responsibility aren't always the same thing."

He nodded. "You can't change what happened to Lucille, and maybe even some other people, but you didn't do it on purpose. It wasn't even a mistake. It was an accident. So, now that you recognize it, you just have to learn from it, right? Learn to control the, uh, core. Can you do that?"

"I don't know. If I could feel it happening, or knew how it happened, maybe. I don't even know where to start. I could ask Father for help, but he's become so impatient. He'd probably just tell me to suck it up until the Final Battle is over in a couple months."

Todd just stared at him with wide eyes until he raised a questioning brow, at which point he pushed himself up into a sitting position so he could stare down at Pepito in incredulity. "Seriously, Pepito? You'd go to your father for help with this, even though it's his fault to begin with? And you're just going to go along with whatever he says still?"

"Not whatever he says, exactly. I'm going to have to work on my presence of mind and self-control. What happened with Lucille ... the Spirit of Satan isn't a conscious thing ... it wasn't his decision, it was my lack of control. And it's not like I have an unlimited supply of people I can ask about this. Admitting a weakness to one of the higher demons that might be able to help me could be dangerous while I've got so much of Father's power, and I can only tell a very few humans in the New York Coven because it could led to all kinds of problems, from disillusionment to emulation."

"But what about your mother?" Todd cringed when Pepito took his hand away and closed his eyes. A few minutes passed before he found his voice again. "Pepito? I'm sorry, I just meant that-"

"What do you want me to say, Todd?" Pepito opened his eyes and removed his hands from his temples. "That I hate him for what he did to her? Fine. I do. I fucking hate my own father, okay? But he is my father, and maybe I don't have any right to hate him … maybe I'm just as bad. What he did, that's how I was conceived. It's why I exist, so hating him for it is hating myself. And I think … I really think that I do right now."

"Don't. You were-"

"I was born a monster. Isn't that what you think? You and your Resistance, your Bible? Well now here's your proof."

"Don't, Pepe, that's not what I meant."

"I know." After taking a few deep breaths, he reached out a very tentative hand to pat Todd's hand with a touch that was so light it was almost embarrassing. "It's not you. It's how I feel, and you want to know a secret? It's hardly the first time; it's just the first time there's been this much proof this close to home. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with my father, but it doesn't change anything."

Taking the hand back again, Todd gave him as sad smile. "Not unless you want it to."

"Todd."

"I know, how dare I believe in free will, right? It's scandalous. The Christians think so too. That's one of the things I was talking about a few months ago, when I said both sides were the same.

"Amigo, it's what I'm for. It's what I am, and it's what I'll always be no matter how well I learn to hide it, no matter how well I train myself to play with the nice little lambs."

"Did you just call me a sheep?" Todd attempted a playful brow-raise to lighten the mood and, though the sudden maneuver contrasted their conversation enough to be cringe-worthy, Pepito played along by managing a small smile.

"Aren't your kind supposed to take that as a complement?"

"My kind? You mean sheeple? I don't have a kind, and I don't think that's a complement either."

"Oh. Sorry. It's just, you know that metaphor about the sheep and the goats."

Todd nodded at Pepito's dazed, straightforward response that he knew would have been a witty comeback had he not been so mentally fragmented. "I'm still not a sheep. And you're not a monster."

"Todd, you taught yourself to believe that when we were younger because you had to, because Mother and I were all you really had. And I tried to be nicer and more normal because I wanted you to believe it, because in a lot of ways you were all I had too."

Todd shook his head. "You had a lot of power when you were a young child, and children don't usually have very developed morality or self-control. There's a reason the utlra-powerful child is a horror trope, you know, and it's not because the kids are evil. They're just kids, and even normal kids, especially normal kids, can be pretty scary. I had to work past my fear to be your friend, but you were always just as human as demon. And there's nothing inherently good or evil about either of those things, only potential for both. Are you telling me that you've secretly always believed that you and all demons are evil?"

"Of course not. I'm just ... not in a good place right now, and not all demons ... That secret thing was just about me, personally, and I don't usually feel that way. I'll get over it shortly. I just really never thought my father would ... you know. And Roman and Minnie and the others. That's what they're being rewarded for. It just ..."

"Makes you start to doubt the whole system?"

"Todd, this isn't just philosophical for me. It concrete and horrible and ... my fucking family."

"I know. I'm really sorry. I just ... thought talking about the philosophical side would be easier, considering." Scooting closer until their shoulders were touching, Todd leaned the side of his head against Pepito's. His voice went quieter again to make the quivering less obvious. "I do understand. When I thought it might have really been you, and seeing you kill that man, and ... I cared about them too, you know. Even your dad, and when we were growing up, he didn't seem ... I really thought he loved your mom."

"Shh." Wrapping an arm around Todd's right shoulder, Pepito pulled him closer, until they were facing each other, both on their sides. The cross around Todd's neck was precariously close to his own skin, but he knew it wouldn't burn him unless Todd thought it should and then it would be the least of what he deserved. "I know, Amigo."

Todd's hand moved across Pepito's chest to grip his shirt and secure his arm in a semi-hug position and he closed his eyes as Pepito's hand ran gently through his hair. He had meant every thing he had just said, of course. In a way, Pepito's family had been partly Todd's too, the closest Todd had to a family anyway, and the new revelations were shocking, horrible and painful on a visceral level. But it didn't and couldn't effect him on the level of self like it did Pepito. He felt a little guilty for exposing his own sorrow now, when Pepito was the one who really needed help. And he wanted to help so badly, but Pepito had never been great at being comforted. He was much better at doing the comforting, seeming to find his own peace that way much easier. Todd guessed that it was a mix of emotional intimacy and a feeling of control, over the situation but also of his own emotions that helped. That had to be a least a little unhealthy because Pepito was sacrificing his own emotional needs instead of dealing with them, but right now they were so overloaded that he couldn't help feeling relieved and more relaxed when he felt some of the tension finally leave Pepito's body. Hopefully, in the morning he would be calm and rational enough to work though some of it without all the self-hate.


End file.
